I'm just gonna start my trip report in here (assuming i take enough of a dose)
Preparation: I take out the dmt recieved at the party, i break off a piece onto the scale, it reads 58 mg. For a second i think this is a message from god to just do a heavy dose my first time but rationality kicks in and i decide to not be selfish and wait for my friend. I break the little piece in half, it weighs 26 mg - PERFECT. I am out of weed but i found that my pipe still has a ton of resin and a tiny amount of half burnt weed and ash in the bowl, i remove as much of the ash as i can manage and break up the dmt on top of it. The bowl consists of 1/2 dmt, 1/2 marijuana. I'm happy with this bowl, it looks like it should give one nice, big lung full. I get up and plug my phone in so i can inform my friend whom i'm going to introduce to dmt that i'm gonna give it a trial run and also ask her if she wants to try it sometime (she expressed a few weeks ago how bad she wants to try dmt). I walk to the bathroom, i empty my bowels. I sit back down on the computer and begin searching for some good psytrance for this special occasion. It's not a minute before i knock my pipe full of drugs off my desk onto my lap. The majority of the dmt had fallen out of the bowl. I recovered most of it from my lap and on my chair, i decide to add another .10 mg to it just to make sure i can actually test it out, in case there was a piece that fell that i couldn't find. Worse comes to worse i'm trying 40mg instead of 30mg :D lol. Will continue later when i do more stuff lol.
Continued: I shower, i change into a robe, i empty the bowl and i break the dmt down into eraser-shaving-sized fragments, i reload the bowl and the weed, i find a good song to listen to, i find
this one. i add some dubstep to my playlist to come after it. i sit down on my bed with my bowl in hand. i click play on the song and begin trying to toke it up. turns out, my pipe was clogged from last weekend, i suck harder trying to pull the smoke through. finally the resin and ash gives letting me light the dmt. the weed burns immediately and i get a mouthfull of smoke, blow it out, i relight it up and it turns out the dmt just evaporated, burned and the rest sizzled away down the toilet of my pipe and that was it. I blew it out, hoping, waiting for dimitri to take me away. i close my eyes, i see the outline of a tree. i try to will it to morph, it turns into the outline of a butterfly, i try again and the butterfly fades away. blackness. i open my eyes realizing what had happened. I told my friend what happened and was told to wait an hour and try again, allowing my tolerance to build and also allowing me to find a way to smoke it properly. I look it up and find "sandwhiching" and how to light it so it doesnt burn. This time i put a screen on my pipe, it has trouble sticking but whatever. I'm out of weed so i throw some oregano on the bottom. i measure out 60mg of dmt, i wrap it in a big screen, i place it on top of the oregano. i throw more oregano on top. Now it's prepared! I wait an hour. After an hour...
Halfway into the rabbit hole?: I sit back down on my bed, open my window, restart the music. I put the pipe to my mouth and i look at it, ready to light it. "I think im prepared" i think to myself. I light it and suck lightly, the flame doesnt physically touch the bowl, it just gets 10 millimeters away from the substance which ignites the oregano. The first hit and a half is all oregano, i finnally get down to the goodies at this point. This 60mg balls begins bubbling and i suddenly run out of air to inhale, i exhale and get half a lung full of dmt. I hold it in for 15 seconds, quickly exhale and light it again without taking a breath... another half of a lung full... i put down my pipe and hold it in, i'm getting a buzzing feeling in my brain but i dont hear buzzing, just music. I wait for it to take me away, it doesnt, i have mild CEV's. I quickly pick the pipe back up and take 2 tokes, holding them both in. After the 2nd toke i decided i didnt want a broken pip so i set it back down. I'm still holding in my breath when i close my eyes, i start to experience the drug... I dont exactly see with colors, i sense everything as if i were blind or something. I sense the universe hurling around me, i get tapped on the shoulder (or i feel the presence of someone trying to touch my shoulder, rather) by dimitri. He is wearing a clad red tuxedo, slacks and he has no head, just a suit and hands. As soon as i even begin to analyze who this hallucination is, it all disappears. It seems that when i try to think about anything while on this low of a dose, my attention is on whatever im thinking about and my reality shifts back to the one im fond of. As soon as i realized this, i tried to allow dimitri to take control of my trip but i couldnt let go of this reality =/. I try not to think. I let visuals flash in front of me, i see colorful stuff morphing into other colorful stuff which envelopes my entire being. Not like a fractal, it's like i become one with whatever im trying to imagine (i dont wanna call this hallucinating because im influencing it consciously), the energy of whatever idea im trying to think of envelopes me and becomes my reality. I was familiar with this feeling from lucy.
Just a note: in hindsight i only burned about half of it - 30mg of the 60.
I kept thinking about dmt, how to let him in. I finally decided that my brain (what dimitri was trying to enter) was like a library or a computer... And this computer is filled with information (how to see, what is 2+2, what do i believe in, what makes up my reality, who am i), and it's all in my brain. And I, not me, not my self am the observer of this brain, the mouse cursor, the person reading the books. And I am the only one with the pass code to access each one of these books or files. It's like I am embedded in each neuron that i've passed through or wherever my brain has ever lit up at (neurons firing). And dimitri wants access to all of these files so he can meld with them and influence I and me and my self because all 3 live in the brain. I decided the only way to give him the pass code would be to literally look at dimitri in his suit and say "i trust you, and it's okay to come in", he never really did though, i helped guide him through my "library" and he pointed things out for me, things i never noticed.
I kept having this problem, i still can't explain it fully. You know how when you meditate you can become aware of your thought process? Well i'm capable of remaining in that state for forever. And i do. And i was aware of me - my thought process - meeting dmt but i wasn't allowing dmt to merge with me. It's like as soon as he was about to let me break through... it was okay to think but i would translate my thought process from my brain's natural thinking ways to english and in doing so i was losing my natural self and focusing on the language center of my brain. Or i would become aware of whatever what was going on, aware of the reality outside of this one. Both of those things would shoo the trip away. Is there any way to get around this?
Dont get me wrong, i had some amazing insights on god, myself, my guilt, it's origins, solutions, my brain, how it functions, etc. I just want to be able to enjoy DMT fully. maybe this can be solved by trying to focus my attention outward rather than inward. I still have about 20-40 mg in the bowl and i wanna sleep in the next hour so i wont be doing more tonight. it'll have to wait.
-Just uh, any tips getting the crap to light so it turns to smoke faster and i dont have to take 6 hits to feel mild effects? it's like... by the time i would get the dmt to start bubbling i would be at 7/8 full in my lungs and i would have to exhale and the dmt would cool back down.
-And any tips on letting go of this reality and letting dimitri take over?
