Psychosis..

[Rattles]

Lost Ego, in an earlier post (your second I think) you say that you'd been away from drugs quite a while, and the whole tone of the post was more analytical/reflective on your own behaviours and experiences, but subsequent posts, especially the last seem to reflect a recurrence of paranoia/psychotic or alarming episodes while actually under the influence of weed/acid and during its aftermath. It might do you good to give yourself a real break from these drugs as it could be that ( as already mentioned ) you have latent issues which are being exacerbated by your drug use. At the very least consider seriously limiting your use, and if sypmtoms persist anyway, perhaps then seek some professional help or advice - even if its just online, or a telephone helpline if you're worried about seening a doctor/psychiatrist.

All the best and good luck

Rattles

 

[flyingkaktoos]

I think that opposite is true: most psychotic patients are not aware that they are showing clinical signs of psychosis.

Pretty much this, part of psychosis is that you think you're fine.
OP, it may just be the aftermath of a bad trip, but either way, drug induced psychosis will mostly leave after a period of time, it can be months or years. Get a script for quetiapine extended release, not the normal stuff (that just knocks you out). I've had drug induced psychosis for the past 2 years (I also have an uncle and a great grandma who were both schizophrenic), the hardest part is realising you're ill, which you appear to have done already.
If you're looking for other recreational drugs I'd recommend codeine or morphine. Don't over do it though, just save it as a little treat once every weekend, or every few weeks or something. Get pharmaceutical stuff (co-codamol, codeisan etc) it won't fuck you up like street stuff. Many people don't know that pure opiates (heroin, morphine, and codeine) are actually the safest drugs you can use when pharmaceutical grade. The danger is overdose, and vomiting during sleep, but it's easily avoided.

 

[SececaRD]

Go to a gym that has a sauna in it. Get yourself just a month membership. go to the sauna once a day and sweat your ass off in there and release the poision out of your system. Be sure not to sit in there for longer than 30 mins to 45 mins at a time. Dont stay too long in there and hurt yourself. after you do that go sit in the steam room for a bit. This will release toxins and poison out of your system.

Oh yeah drink a bottled water before and after you go in.

 

[Rattles]

If we're actually talking about psychosis, possible schizophrenia or even the symptoms of a bad trip/cannabis use, one can only imagine you've discovered a way of sweating out the vulnerable parts of the brain (perhaps via the ears). This is surely a patentable system, and I would suggest you refrain from divulging further details until you've taken the appropriate legal advice. You'll thank me once you're a millionaire...

Unless, perhaps ....no.....you're not joking are you?

 

[Lost Ego]

Pretty much this, part of psychosis is that you think you're fine.
OP, it may just be the aftermath of a bad trip, but either way, drug induced psychosis will mostly leave after a period of time, it can be months or years. Get a script for quetiapine extended release, not the normal stuff (that just knocks you out). I've had drug induced psychosis for the past 2 years (I also have an uncle and a great grandma who were both schizophrenic), the hardest part is realising you're ill, which you appear to have done already.
If you're looking for other recreational drugs I'd recommend codeine or morphine. Don't over do it though, just save it as a little treat once every weekend, or every few weeks or something. Get pharmaceutical stuff (co-codamol, codeisan etc) it won't fuck you up like street stuff. Many people don't know that pure opiates (heroin, morphine, and codeine) are actually the safest drugs you can use when pharmaceutical grade. The danger is overdose, and vomiting during sleep, but it's easily avoided.

Thanks alot man. Coming to terms with my illness was probably the hardest part, it's a bit of trouble trying to stay rational all the time too but thats really just annoying. I was thinking the same thing - I cant do anything too psychoactive and that rules out a hell of a lot: uppers, psychedelics, cannibinoids are all out of the question but i was thinking that downers were okay. i wouldnt say they're safe being how addictive they are but yeah i catch your drift. im thinking dissociatives might be "safe" too.

Lost Ego, in an earlier post (your second I think) you say that you'd been away from drugs quite a while, and the whole tone of the post was more analytical/reflective on your own behaviours and experiences, but subsequent posts, especially the last seem to reflect a recurrence of paranoia/psychotic or alarming episodes while actually under the influence of weed/acid and during its aftermath. It might do you good to give yourself a real break from these drugs as it could be that ( as already mentioned ) you have latent issues which are being exacerbated by your drug use. At the very least consider seriously limiting your use, and if sypmtoms persist anyway, perhaps then seek some professional help or advice - even if its just online, or a telephone helpline if you're worried about seening a doctor/psychiatrist.

All the best and good luck

Rattles

Thanks dude! Yeah you're right. I really do need to stay away from the psychoactives. It's hard sometimes when the big drug that me and my friends all have in common is weed and when we chill i'm always tempted to just take a toke. Plus i love weed, i'm still growing up and i usually have these "aha" moments where i just realize shit about myself when im high and i think it's really critical to my growth as a human being. I like the word latent btw, i've been looking for that word for a while and couldnt think of it lol

This is true. Get some professional help. You don't even have to tell them about your drug use if you're worried.

Can you guys not see that going to a psych ward isn't my only fear? 1. This will go down in my record and i wont be able to enter the military anymore - my only chance of getting a decent job. 2. They WILL want to give me anti-psychotics and who do you think pays for those? I don't have a job or good insurance and so my mom will and she'll know. My mom would cry (and i dont want that!) and she won't ever look at me the fucking same. It'd be much safer for me and my mom if i can just be man enough to ride this one out.

 

[Grondelduck]

When I massively overdosed on speed I went mad. Everybody was talking about me, criticising me, looking at me, and judging me etc. It was hell. Had trouble following classes, irrational fears everywhere. Other so I thought.

However, at a certain point I decided I would stop caring. Hell, I've got enough thing to ponder about in my own life to keep wondering about how other people might look or judge me. Don't bother trying to keep other people's feelings consideration all the time.
There is a psychological phenomena called the spotlight-effect:

Spotlight Effect: The Spotlight Effect refers to our tendency to think that other people are watching us more closely than they actually are. Do you remember that one time in school when you tripped on something, fell [on your butt, and everyone saw you? Of course, you do, and it may have been one of the most embarrassing moments of your life. But chances are, no one remembers but you. And those who remember probably don't think it was as bad as you thought.

Just my experience of a stiminduced psychosiscs

 

[Rattles]

Lost Egos issues sound somewhere in between 'the spotlight effect' you describe ( something I'd not heard of described that way, but which gets accross the meaning nicely), and a more serious psychotic/proto-schizophrenic effect. Its really hard to tell 'cos he has sufficiently good recollection of his experiences and an effective and unafraid use of language combined with a fairly informed viewpoint. There's no way of being sure over this media, what his actual issues are, so once again I would recommend laying off the drugs which seem to cause distress, and if necessary seeking further advice from more specialised sources.

Rattles

 

[Rattles]

Pretty much this, part of psychosis is that you think you're fine.
OP, it may just be the aftermath of a bad trip, but either way, drug induced psychosis will mostly leave after a period of time, it can be months or years. Get a script for quetiapine extended release, not the normal stuff (that just knocks you out). I've had drug induced psychosis for the past 2 years (I also have an uncle and a great grandma who were both schizophrenic), the hardest part is realising you're ill, which you appear to have done already.
If you're looking for other recreational drugs I'd recommend codeine or morphine. Don't over do it though, just save it as a little treat once every weekend, or every few weeks or something. Get pharmaceutical stuff (co-codamol, codeisan etc) it won't fuck you up like street stuff. Many people don't know that pure opiates (heroin, morphine, and codeine) are actually the safest drugs you can use when pharmaceutical grade. The danger is overdose, and vomiting during sleep, but it's easily avoided.

Don't mean to labour the point, but I'd already mentioned how opioids eventually became an addiction for me in the aftermath of my second major psychotic experience. I can't say don't do it; they are, undeniably, a relief, but I can't stress enough the care that is needed. Perhaps have a little trawl through the opioid forums first...
(oh yeah and for anyone who didn't read my response to Missykins quote from my previous post - I meant that with hindsight which Lost Ego indicated that he had had (over a year of reflection), psychosis was not (for me) confusable with other bad drug reactions (I can't speak personally for schizophrenia, but long conversations with a friend who manages with clozaril suggest a lot of similarities to psychosis albeit more long term)).

 

[my worst enemy]

^ Please go on. I want to hear as much about this as u can muster. For me i figure they are paranoid delusions and a part of the psychosis/mild form of schizofrenia (=/ i know that word is the big, scary one but it may be true).

Lost Ego. Sorry it took so long.
Since you ask. This is hard stuff to sum up, but I'll do it roughly. For starters I'm diagnosed with ADHD and for all my life had trouble focusing my energy where I wanted it. Never been able to keep a job. (Still can't) Mostly I have wondered off into more intense feelings and actions for a fast rush, be it drugs or whatever. The last few years I have mainly done booze and benzo in order to get my head out of the darker and darker mood my mind wanted to go. And then, maybe 2 years ago, the "bad obsessive thoughts" struck. For weeks I felt like a freak, trying to figure out what other people "really" thought about me and the rest of the world. Would not call it schizofrenia, nor psychosis. But for sure, the days when I was the worst, Id say it would border on severe paranoia and OCD and PTSD.

Today, I am clean since 4 months. Never since 14 yoa have I been clean for more than 2 months. And I am learning to breath, and I'm learning to recognize what kind of mood and what kind of thoughts and what kind of circumstances awaken the obsessive stuff. And even though I've been through a 6 month long black hole due to ecstasy use (10 years ago), severe panic attacks, suicide attempts, self harm, benzo addiction and psychotic episodes; today I can say that as long as I'm eating right, sleeping right, breathing and remind myself to get my priorities straight, I can stay friends with my mind.
Which is something I haven't been my whole life. Only as long as I could feed it the drugs it demanded.

Even though the bad and obsessive thinking is still there from time to time, today I can trace their roots to a period where I was living under fear of loosing a very close friend of mine, summin that put me under extreme stress where my mind responded with this strange reaction. Cause that all it is, I really believe this. All our fuckedupness are just reactions to fucked up things we've experienced. Unfortunately, some of us have gone through stuff that are so bad we never recover. But in most cases we are just not handed the right tools to recover.

Because of this realisation and because I know what I need and don't need I can choose whether or not I want to fear this. And if I choose face it, to befriend it, its potency dies.
Its an awesome feeling. But it takes time to find enough love and self respect in order to face the dark stuff with honesty and love.
There is loads more to it than this. But really its very simple. Just that I was so fucked up it took me some 17 years to find

And for what its worth, Id advice you to kick the drugs and work from there. (Although I'm aware no BL post never would have convinced me to quit while I was using 8) )

 

[Trate]

Sounds horrible, and a lot like my experience after a bad couple of trips with psychedelics.

Whether it was a psychotic break or just a rampant case of anxiety/paranoia; I think you should focus on just trying to move on rather than to try and analyse every little detail of what happened.

When I went through what I did, I was convinced that I had damaged my brain or given myself a psychotic episode - only later to find out that it was a mild case of de-personalisation caused by the extreme anxiety of the PTSD that went along with my bad trip. Once I had analysed that it was my own fears driving the very thing that I was so terrified of, then I could start to heal and repair. This involved slowly working through any of the issues/insecurities that cropped up through my acid experiences (a lot extended back to prior mental health issues and childhood), some of which that I didn't even know that were there. I found that acid and most psychedelics in general opened my mind up and allowed me to see the world and myself for what it was - unfortunately for me it meant revealing sides of myself that I had been buried for well over 10 years.

It's been a year and two months since this happened to me, the first 6 months were hell and were full of self doubt, fear and long days spent forcing myself to do things that weeks before were second nature, the following 6 months were a lot more manageable, and only within the last 2 months or so could I say that I feel "normal" again. Forever I was trying to find the "old me" before realising that that was one of the traps that the LSD had set - not realising that this experience like all the others in my life changed me into who I am today, it was up to me what I did with that information from there on. I wasn't ever going to feel like the "old me" because the experience had taught me so much, a lot of which seemed very negative at first until I found ways to see it in a positive light; now I almost see it as my metamorphosis into adulthood. Without it I wouldn't be half as humble, understanding, empathetic and compassionate as I am now, which has helped rather than hurt (like I thought it would) my personal relationships 10 fold.

The crucial things to consider that were told to me by the same people you're talking to on this board now are: Sleep right, eat right, minimise/eradicate your drug usage at least for a while, exercise, force yourself to socialise and go out REGARDLESS of how much it may scare you - I can't stress this one enough, and most importantly find someone in real life who you feel comfortable sharing all of this with - it helps beyond belief to be able to share some of this stuff, it makes things far less internalised.

I completely get what you mean about the relationship with marijuana, weed was my drug of choice when I had my bad trip, and because of it being a psychoactive drug - everytime that I'd smoke up it'd send me right back to that dark introverted colourless place that the acid put me into. I drastically reduced my intake when it happened and switched to lighter methods like small joints instead of packed bongs and slowly started to form a positive association with it again over time. I'm now able to enjoy my weed far more than I could a year ago, but it's still not the same as it was and I found that good moderation kept a fairly healthy lid on it.

I understand if this isn't directly relevant to your situation, I just feel that I owe a debt to this board who helped me so much in my time of need, and hopefully bits and pieces of what I and everyone else will resonate with you in the coming crucial months.

Just please remember that you're not alone, many of us have been through the same thing or something similar and have come out of it fine.

Good luck mate, this shit ain't easy.

 

[Rattles]

Lost Ego. Sorry it took so long.
Since you ask. This is hard stuff to sum up, but I'll do it roughly. For starters I'm diagnosed with ADHD and for all my life had trouble focusing my energy where I wanted it. Never been able to keep a job. (Still can't) Mostly I have wondered off into more intense feelings and actions for a fast rush, be it drugs or whatever. The last few years I have mainly done booze and benzo in order to get my head out of the darker and darker mood my mind wanted to go. And then, maybe 2 years ago, the "bad obsessive thoughts" struck. For weeks I felt like a freak, trying to figure out what other people "really" thought about me and the rest of the world. Would not call it schizofrenia, nor psychosis. But for sure, the days when I was the worst, Id say it would border on severe paranoia and OCD and PTSD.

Today, I am clean since 4 months. Never since 14 yoa have I been clean for more than 2 months. And I am learning to breath, and I'm learning to recognize what kind of mood and what kind of thoughts and what kind of circumstances awaken the obsessive stuff. And even though I've been through a 6 month long black hole due to ecstasy use (10 years ago), severe panic attacks, suicide attempts, self harm, benzo addiction and psychotic episodes; today I can say that as long as I'm eating right, sleeping right, breathing and remind myself to get my priorities straight, I can stay friends with my mind.
Which is something I haven't been my whole life. Only as long as I could feed it the drugs it demanded.

Even though the bad and obsessive thinking is still there from time to time, today I can trace their roots to a period where I was living under fear of loosing a very close friend of mine, summin that put me under extreme stress where my mind responded with this strange reaction. Cause that all it is, I really believe this. All our fuckedupness are just reactions to fucked up things we've experienced. Unfortunately, some of us have gone through stuff that are so bad we never recover. But in most cases we are just not handed the right tools to recover.

Because of this realisation and because I know what I need and don't need I can choose whether or not I want to fear this. And if I choose face it, to befriend it, its potency dies.
Its an awesome feeling. But it takes time to find enough love and self respect in order to face the dark stuff with honesty and love.
There is loads more to it than this. But really its very simple. Just that I was so fucked up it took me some 17 years to find

And for what its worth, Id advice you to kick the drugs and work from there. (Although I'm aware no BL post never would have convinced me to quit while I was using 8) )

My Worst Enemy, whilst some of the causes of your issues are a little different to my own, and each and every one of us has our own life experiences which has lead us to where we are, I find your positivity truly special. Too much of the time I find myself forgetting to look around and value the things I have, and dwell too long on what I think I have lost. Sometimes analyses and diagnoses are not what is needed, but a step back, and a reminder that not only does life go on, but can retain all it's joys if you allow yourself to accept them. Facing your own darkness and fears may be simple conceptually, but is also probably the hardest thing that any of us will ever do and I admire your strength and bravery, and hope that you continue to thrive.

Regards and Love

Rattles

(ps Lost Ego :- I can't give better advice to you than Trates above, I just wish I'd had similar resources and help available when times were worst for me. There's no better advice, I know you can't help what you think, but try to get on with more living and less reflecting, and look after yourself. All the best, Rattles)

 

[It's a baby!]

Can you recover from drug induced psychosis? I think i'm already coming out of the hole from my last horrible acid trip. i just fear that it'll come back with a bang. What drugs aren't as psychoactive? Downers? I believe weed and psychedelics were my downfall... If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?

Psychosis sucked ass except for noticing god in every work of life. It was like false enlightenment... Or is it possible that the acid really did enlighten me spiritually?

It's false enlightenment insofar as you're getting attached to a way of thinking that's useless in this day and age IMO. If you lived in the Amazon it'd be one thing but if you want to be compassionate it's better to experience reality in a way other people can relate to better.

I've totally been there, I had to be institutionalized. You might want to see a psychiatrist, I complain about antipsychotics in my thread but I'd rather put up with a little restlessness than deal with psychotic thoughts and feelings, which I still do have to some degree but so much less.

You should probably stop all drug use for a good three month period or even longer if possible, any drug use can potentially exacerbate a psychotic condition. But DEFINITELY stay away from weed, psychedelics, dissociatives and stimulants. You have to do what's best for you but a clean-out would probably help even though it might be very difficult in the beginning, psychologically it will take a long time to recover.

Mostly just immerse yourself in normal consensus reality, hang out with people who aren't really into drugs too much, etc. That's the best advice anyone can give for dealing with something like that.

Lots of really good advice in this thread already.

 

[steve022]

Keep in mind that if you were not diagnosed with psychosis I doubt you actually went psychotic but just had a bad trip on way, way too much acid. if you had actual psychosis you would have already been in the psych ward because you would have been not communicating with anybody and out of touch with reality even after the trip was over. everyone has a certain threshold with psychadelics where they cant handle the trip like they do normally and may even begin to act "crazy" or "psychotic" while under the influence which is why you have to know yourself well enough to avoid reaching that point. I've never been there and certainly don't want to go there but if you didn't get diagnosed with psychosis I doubt you have it but just got really carried away and took far too much