Psychosis..

[Lost Ego]

Can you recover from drug induced psychosis? I think i'm already coming out of the hole from my last horrible acid trip. i just fear that it'll come back with a bang. What drugs aren't as psychoactive? Downers? I believe weed and psychedelics were my downfall... If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?

Psychosis sucked ass except for noticing god in every work of life. It was like false enlightenment... Or is it possible that the acid really did enlighten me spiritually?

 

[1394]

If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?

Psychosis sucked ass except for noticing god in every work of life. It was like false enlightenment... Or is it possible that the acid really did enlighten me spiritually?

Were you diagnosed with psychosis or is this just your take of the situation?

I can understand feeling totally out of it or showing similar symptoms to PTSD from psychs, but you should be fine.

Maybe you should stay away from drugs for a while.

 

[Lost Ego]

Why are you so skeptical? Psychedelics are hallucinogens[or vice versa]. And no i was not diagnosed, I would rather not spend time in a psych ward.

And i've been away from drugs for quite a while. It could very well be ptsd. I am a psych major and it took me over a year to reach this conclusion however it can be hard to introspect on an unstable mind. There are like 5 other things i could assign the symptoms to but it's a pretty solid diagnosis and it accounts for all of them. I was catatonic for a little while, i had delusions and i haven't told anyone this but i was having arguements in my head. I'm still thinking the latter is because i was trying to be like... a pro meditater and i figured i could restrain my thoughts... and i would kinda listen to my thoughts and then when i heard anything negative i'd tell myself it was bad and i figure... either my subconscious or unconscious mind decided to start talking back. it got to a point where when i'd try to psychoanalyze someone my subconscious would make me think whatever i figured they were thinking or feeling and i would analyze that and i practically had a delusional conversation in my mind about what other people were thinking and for a little while i actually was starting to believe i was psychic... idk. ur prolly not a psychologist and you're prolly not gonna be of any help. the only good this post is gonna do is ruin my rep on bluelight but idgaf, i really have 0 fucks left to give these days.

 

[1394]

idk. ur prolly not a psychologist and you're prolly not gonna be of any help. the only good this post is gonna do is ruin my rep on bluelight but idgaf, i really have 0 fucks left to give these days.

Uhh... how many psychologists do you think there are on BL? Anyway, if psychosis is the issue as a psychology major, you should know that you should be seeking help from a psychiatrist.

Personally, I think you are fine. I doubt there's much to do for neurosis other than just roll with it.

And no, psychs are not mere hallucinogens, if you feel that way, you probably shouldn't be doing psychs.

 

[Lost Ego]

ur confronting what you think are the issues and not entirely answering my questions. bumping for a 2nd opinion.

im quite aware that hallucinogens are hardcore drugs. technically they are psychedelics. i was arguing via semantics and you clearly weren't smart enough to see that.

 

[1394]

ur confronting what you think are the issues and not entirely answering my questions. bumping for a 2nd opinion.

im quite aware that hallucinogens are hardcore drugs. technically they are psychedelics. i was arguing via semantics and you clearly weren't smart enough to see that.

"via semantics" really? Hallucinogens hardcore drugs? da fuck are you talking about?

"ur confronting what you think are the issues and not entirely answering my questions. bumping for a 2nd opinion."

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll pay more attention next time.

 

[Lost Ego]

wow thanks for being a total asshole in my thread. no really thank you, i appreciate it to an extent you could never grasp. i have a real problem here and i just wanna know if it will completely go away. i wanna know if its even fucking possible. i've heard the dogma of the 60's hippies dropping acid and spending their entire life in an insane asylum. you're negative feedback is just gonna drive people who could help out of my thread. please just gtfo, i dont wanna have to make another one of these - im already really insecure and partially in denial about my mental instability.

"da fuck are you talking about?" im trying to win the arguement so you'll drop the irrelevent bullshit. thats not why i created this thread.

 

[1394]

" i've heard the dogma of the 60's hippies dropping acid and spending their entire life in an insane asylum"

This is bullshit. You will be fine and going to a psychiatrist does not mean you will end up in a ward.

" If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?"

If psychosis due to psychedelics is the issue doing them more will not help you. If you really are psychotic (and I really don't think you are, but probably having some serious anxiety) you will have to take anti-psychotics.

" I'm still thinking the latter is because i was trying to be like... a pro meditater and i figured i could restrain my thoughts... and i would kinda listen to my thoughts and then when i heard anything negative i'd tell myself it was bad and i figure... either my subconscious or unconscious mind decided to start talking back."

Are these real voices in your head, can you actually hear them as tho someone in the room is talking? can you actually hear them, or are you having say I dunno, a philosophical debate with yourself? Maybe more people will be able to help if you elaborate more on what the actual problem is concerning your "psychosis"

I was scared for my mental health once, as I started to hallucinate very, very heavily in the middle of the road. I had only smoked a bow of pot when this happened. I stopped doing what I was doing, took care of sleeping properly and was fine.

Do you have any sleep issues? This good play an important role in keeping your mental health in-check.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Can you recover from drug induced psychosis? I think i'm already coming out of the hole from my last horrible acid trip. i just fear that it'll come back with a bang. What drugs aren't as psychoactive? Downers? I believe weed and psychedelics were my downfall... If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?

Psychosis sucked ass except for noticing god in every work of life. It was like false enlightenment... Or is it possible that the acid really did enlighten me spiritually?

I don't know what you experienced on your acid trip... and therefore really don't know what to say.

My honest advice: lay off the psychedelics for the sake of doing so, to see if that helps out at all.

i have a real problem here and i just wanna know if it will completely go away.

I started thinking of things not as good or bad but just that they were.

Your problems may or may not go away, I'm not psychic, and I would hate to guess incorrectly for your sake.

 

[herbavore]

Lostego, I don't know if anyone is going to be able to tell you whether your symptoms will go away or not, but many people have experienced similar things after using psychedelics. For some people these have gone away completely after stopping their drug use, but for others certain symptoms lingered for months or years. Then there are those people for whom symptoms of psychosis were brought out by psychedelics but existed previously, albeit latent. I think that the best thing that you could do would be to find a psychologist that you really trust to work with. Tell them exactly what is going on in your mind. I would not recommend a psychiatrist right off the bat because that field has become dominated by pill pushers. There are many ways to deal with psychosis and not all of them involve drugs. Good luck in finding some help. It must be hard to keep up with school while dealing with all this confusion in your life!

 

[Missykins]

Lostego, I am concerned by the way you responded to 1394, because nowhere in 1394's first post did I find anything inflammatory, yet you responded with a great deal of hostility, and frankly, confusion, which makes me think that you are experiencing clinical signs of psychosis.

It's impossible to comment whether your symptoms will persist or subside (only your treating physician can even begin to make that prediction), but I've seen people admit with signs of drug-induced psychoses only to have their clinical signs be alleviated with treatment. I would strongly suggest that you seek the care of a physician, or, at the very least, abstain from the use of substances for the time being.

 

[Rattles]

Hiya Lost Ego,

Just my 2p, but I can't recommend that you look to other drugs for relief or even just as a less psychoactive recreational alternative. I suffered amphetamine psychosis in about 1994 which threw me badly, and while I elected not to seek psychiatric help, but laid off the stims/pschedelics for six months, before suffering a second, far worse experience which lasted several days (a waking nightmare in which I suddenly became aware of a small population of telepathic travellers who become murderously angry at the volume of my newly awakened, but latent, thought projection, and tried, through absolutely real (to me) threats of eternal telepathic torture to compel me to commit suicide, which I nearly did..) - induced, as far as I can tell, from a week or two of insomnia and an unfamiliar and somewhat threatening environment. This second episode, and the terror of realising that it could potentially recur at any time, even without using, shook me to the core, destroyed my self-confidence and led me into serious social withdrawl. Whilst I had used Heroin rarely prior to this, it had always been a 'meh' drug for me - suddenly it became my saviour; turning down my fear and making those long nights wondering if I would lose it for good, bearable. Guess what; no further significant episodes of psychosis (though the fear of it has never entirely left me) but 15 years of opioid addiction. I'm not saying its impossible that drug use could help, but is that a risk you really want to take given they were the cause in the first place.
I, myself, have very little faith in psychiatry,(but this may be entirely personal prejudice) but at least it 's unlikely to exacerbate your problems. At the very least, speak to your family doctor, or if this unfeasable a Mental Health helpline or support site might be able to give you advice.

I have no wish to question your experience or judge you, but your description of your mental state does not sound a great deal like my experience of psychosis (more like the kind of realightment and reframing of your thoughts that can be a consequence of tripping) if you had a psychosis you would probablyknow it. Nonetheless, if the state of your mental health is truly worrying you, I would definately recommend professional help rather than further experimentation with psychoactives.
Incidentally, access to psychiatric and psychology texts and symptom sets can lead to all manner of incorrect self-diagnosis:- nearly all psychiatric illness are merely extreme exagerations of traits that exist in all of us to a greater or lesser extent and if you're trying to find a disorder that fits your self-assessed symptoms, you will. Similarly, a degree of hyperchondria is not unusual in medical students and newer doctors.

All the best and good luck,

Rattles

 

[Lost Ego]

Thanks all, i think you adequately answered my questions and more. I came here to find out if my diagnosis were psychosis, would it be permanent. I found my answer. I also came here to gain perspective from people who have experienced psychosis. I also wanted to know what other ways you could explain my symptoms, I think I received a good amount of feedback in that field.

I don't think the voices in my head sounded like they were in the room, they just seemed like a 2nd line of thought, usually opposed to whatever i was thinking about. I think it could very well be that my subconscious just has a mind of it's own and i became aware of it - i really hope so. But to be honest, i really dont know. This line of thought didn't talk directly to me unless i aknowledged it, it was usually just describing others.

Also i was often paranoid, thinking my neighbors were watching me. Weed sometimes would exacerbation the condition, the voices and paranoia both.

Irrelevant to my last trip, when i was a stoner, i got to a point where i feel like i developed a higher state of consciousness. I would get stoned and I would zone out and experience events through my friend's eyes, i saw it exactly how they did. It was kind of like this. Now back to my psychosis in question - through my second line of thought i would experience people's thoughts as i recalled memories of them or even in the present moment i would think i knew what people were thinking. There is no way to confirm if i was really experiencing their thoughts, if i called someone out on what they were thinking or worrying about they would of course deny it everytime.

Someone asked what happened during my last acid trip. I dropped acid with 3 fellows who i barely knew while i was staying with my aunt in arizona. Not knowing them and being at their apartment which i was not familiar with set me up for a horrible trip. I dropped 2 tabs of some pretty strong shit. As i came up these 3 individuals decided it would be pleasant to be all negative and talk about how they didn't think it was quality acid. They went on and on about how crappy this stuff was. I begged to differ, i thought the acid was good - w/e. Anyways that negativity rubbed off on me and idk when i went from a cool trip to a bad one. First thing i know im smoking weed and having cool closed eyes visuals and then all of a sudden i got caught up listening to their conversation. All of a sudden it i was paranoid, i thought they could hear my thoughts, i opened my eyes and they had evil looks on their faces. For a while i thought they were mind hackers, that the drug i took was like the bug from the matrix and they were just normal kids fucking with me. Then all of a sudden i was thinking that they were cyber police and we were in a computer program based dream and i was already arrested like in minority report. I thought they could still hear my thoughts and were trying to force me to think one thing or another, interrogating me in my own mind. I tryed to meditate to cease the thoughts but it was no use. Before long they were the rulers of my reality. I had to get away - i ran out the door and i took the stairs leading down from their apartment. I wasn't halfway down them before i realized that if they ruled my reality there would be no escaping them and so i sat down on the stairs and it became like inception. It really did seem like a simulation. I played with this for a while, i called down trees into the landscape and they materialized, i changed the apartment complex around, i added a pool and a new building, i rearranged the clouds around me. I was convinced i was already arrested and i had an ultimatum, i decided i couldnt do this forever and i would give up and go back inside, submissive. I had 30 mins of bad trip more before i asked my psuedo-friend to take me home. I went and layed down and tripped about the essense of the universe, i saw these spiritual creatures and it wasn't long before i realized they were ghosts who wanted to drag me to hell. I dont remember much more. I included everything because it was all equally important to my current mental state. I spent the next 2 days recounting my trip, not eating, trying to convince myself it wasn't real. I didn't talk much after that.

I think i included everything relevant... Do as you please with this info.

 

[Missykins]

...I have no wish to question your experience or judge you, but your description of your mental state does not sound a great deal like my experience of psychosis (more like the kind of realightment and reframing of your thoughts that can be a consequence of tripping) if you had a psychosis you would probablyknow it...

I think that opposite is true: most psychotic patients are not aware that they are showing clinical signs of psychosis.

 

[Lost Ego]

i wasn't aware of 'it' at first. im still not sure what 'it' is/was, something is still amiss though

 

[my worst enemy]

I don't think the voices in my head sounded like they were in the room, they just seemed like a 2nd line of thought, usually opposed to whatever i was thinking about. I think it could very well be that my subconscious just has a mind of it's own and I became aware of it - I really hope so. But to be honest, I really don't know. This line of thought didn't talk directly to me unless i acknowledged it, it was usually just describing others.

I recognize this. I've had these kind of thoughts since around 14 years of age. Hefty amounts of drugs and 17 years later these thoughts
at times spin out of control. Sometimes they are just my own "subconscious" (in lack of a better word) but often they take the roles of other people around, and tell me their view of things that happen or things that I (or a 3rd person present) am saying. Often they give a negative view, sometimes even violently negative. (OR it could be that I don't think of it when they (the "voice" in my head, which isn't a voice at all, merely a verbal and vivid thought) react positively). Confused yet?
Needless to say, some days this gets to me, and scares the fuck out of me.

BUT, this last year I've started to notice the pattern that creates this kind of thinking. Or more like, I've started to learn how to relate to it, and learn not to let it affect me in a way I don't want it to. Let me know if this is something you can relate to and if so I can elaborate on my personal experiences with this.

with love and hope of peace.
j.

 

[Lost Ego]

^ Please go on. I want to hear as much about this as u can muster. For me i figure they are paranoid delusions and a part of the psychosis/mild form of schizofrenia (=/ i know that word is the big, scary one but it may be true).

 

[Swimmingdancer]

If i took more hallucinogens with the right set and setting do you think it could help in my recovery?

I do know a lot of people who have been helped that way, but I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. And the right set and setting, intention, and mindframe are extremely important. Like doing it under the guidance of an experienced shaman or doctor. I would not recommend just taking more drugs on your own if you had a bad experience in the past.

Going to a psychiatrist does not mean you will end up in a ward.

This is true. Get some professional help. You don't even have to tell them about your drug use if you're worried.

 

[Rattles]

Missykins, of course you are right (and my comment a bit vague), whilst actually in the grip of psychosis it is as absolutely real as everything you think, feel and see. In fact that's why its so scary, and why for me the damage has been so prolonged - how do you henceforth know what is real and what delusion? The experience for me was so real, and the delusional architecture so complete that I could not say for sure, even now, that I was experiencing a 'false' reality. Over the following weeks and months, however the routines of day-to-day life, and the gradual re-enforcement of previous habits and thought patterns slowly began to convince me that what I had experienced was delusional. Lostego pointed out though, that he had been through a considerable period of reflection and made efforts to understand what had happened to him, what I was getting at was that his explanation of his experience, does not seem (to me) to reflect a similar kind of experience as mine. I guess what I meant was that for me, at least, the experience was not one that,with hindsight,could possibly be confused with say a very bad trip, or severe paranoia. That said, I'm acutely aware of both the intensity and individuality of mental suffering and would not want to suggest that my personal experiences can be compared to those of anyone else, and in fact am very sceptical of the idea of labelling such experiences at all

 

[Lost Ego]

last night i was with my friend and i was smoking weed and i had a flashback to the trip. the same delusions i was having that day were coming back, atleast the ones from the beginning. it's hard to describe but i'll try. it's like... we were talking and it came back and she was like possessed by god/the devil(and that everyone is) and was saying words that would make my brain think of connotations of those words so that the possessor could send a message to me via connotative code. granted rationality is coming in now saying that connotations are different from person to person and its all relative but in this situation it was like god knew of all the connections in my brain and was trying to use this code to retrieve a memory from me, i memory i wont let go of. he wants me to confront this memory but i dont want to, i cant get it out from being repressed and accept it. i CANT!

edit: i'm still not sure if the possessor of her + everyone is the same overseers from my computer programmed bad acid trip or if it's god trying to talk to me vicariously through other people.