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Mental Health Psychiatric Medication Guide

For the last 5 years after a 3 months admission in hospital I have been on a depot injection every 26 days or so. Invega Sustenna (paliperidone palmitate); 100mg. Starting this was the first time I have had a depot after being on antipsychotic medications since I was 18. I'm mid 30's now. Also new for me after that hospital stay was starting Epilem (sodium valproate) because my diagnosis was changed from Schizophrenia to Schizo effective disorder. I take 500mg in the morning and 500mg at night. Previously I had taken 500mg in the morning 1000mg at night.

I actually came off Effexor (venlafaxine) in that hospital after being on it for a year or so. I was on a few other anti depressants that I can't remember the name before going on Effexor. That was the first time I have had to take anti depressants and was off them until a few months ago. So yeah, 20mg of Fluoxetine of a morning at the moment. This have been a lot better since starting it, but I think the main reason I am not so bad at the moment (as far as depression goes) is that I changed the stressful routine that I was putting myself through with the psychosocial rehab group I was going to and stepped right back. More stressful things have come into play the last few weeks but I'm lucky I have a good mental health team that I can rely on. I see a case manager weekly at the moment and its great just talking things through with her.

I'm about to try Invega 3mg tablets for the first time as an as required thing. I have diazepam and have had 2.5mg Zyprexa tablets for that but they make me starving hungry and I have been big, like super overweight my whole life and I am trying to lose more weight.

I have been on other antipsychotic medications over the years but I won't elaborate too much because is becoming a long post. Zyprexa in higher doses, Seroquel, Solian (amisulpride - it's not on the list in the first post :)), Zeldox (Ziprasidone - not on the list either! ;)) respiridone. I can't think of any more.
 
I was diagnosed with OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Panic Disorder. By far the worst one is the panic disorder. OCD and MPD are manageable with medication and therapy whereas Panic Disorder is just a way to describe your natural state, and how you react (panic attack) to stimuli that others might find harmless.

First off I must say the only combination of drugs that have ever given me real relief was heroin and xanax together. This is not sustainable though.

I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder as a child. This was characterized by intense phobias, and fight, flight, or freeze response to these phobias. For instance, I am absolutely terrified of insects...this has gotten better, but as a child, if I even saw one on TV I would become paralyzed by fear, or find myself running without even a seconds thought. This progressed to me being on high alert all the time. I jump and feel intense fear from very simple things. If the phone rings it makes me jump and puts me on edge. If someone taps me on the shoulder I may end up throwing a punch because I become filled with panic. Another problem with the Panic Disorder is a tendency to be preoccupied by the things that cause you fear. Being preoccupied with these fears causes me to feel fear and I get to the point of having a panic attack. I guess the best way to describe it is: On a scale of 1-100 where 1 is completely calm and 100 is fight or flight mode in which you feel the end of your life is extremely near. Most people are generally at around 1-15. At seventy is where most people have a panic attack. People with panic disorder naturally start at around a 40. It is extremely easy to push them over the edge into panic attack mode.

Major depressive disorder has already been talked about.

Obsessive Compulsive disorder: This one is a broad spectrum. However it is characterized by intrusive, unwanted, thoughts that are extremely hard not to think about or disregard followed by a compulsion in order to get relief from those thoughts. The reason I say spectrum is because this disorder contains compulsive hoarding, all the way up to compulsive self cleaning. This is extremely hard to treat as every person that experiences this disorder falls somewhere in this spectrum and their thoughts and compulsions are unique to the patient, which makes each patients treatment different as well.

First off I hate when people say "my OCD is I don't like to leave dishes in the living room...or I have to hang my shirts a certain way." That is not OCD! That is actually just being tidy, or being quirky about something. If you constantly think about those dishes and have to check your living room every time you thought about them or you would have to turn your lights on then off to stop thinking about them you may have OCD. If you constantly have to wash your hands when you think that your shirts were not in their proper order, that might be OCD. If you have a rigid set of rules you hold yourself to, that if deviated from causes you to have a mental breakdown then you may have OCD. If you have a lot of stuff and your house is really dirty, that is not Compulsive Hoarding, that is just being lazy and a scumbag (however people with Major Depressive Disorder may find it extremely difficult to muster the motivation to keep their house in order). If you have experienced an emotional trauma in your life and your feelings become attached to your possessions, and any attempt to get rid of those possessions sends you into a panic episode, you may be a compulsive hoarder.

For me, I am of the rigid set of rules type of OCD sufferer. Yes I do have compulsions when I break any of my rules. Here is a rule for an example: I cannot eat potato chips because the sensation of a potato chip touching the corner of my mouth causes me to need to wash my hands. Another example is: I cannot set a glass on my coffee table. Why you ask? Because I have an irrational fear that causes me to believe (not just think) that the glass is going to break somehow and a piece will end up in my eye. This causes me to move glasses around on the table quite a bit if they are present. It also sends me into even higher alert mode. Generally the only way to effectively treat this is with therapy in conjunction with medication. I see a therapist once a week on Tuesdays in order to work on Cognitive Behavior Therapy. As a side note, I have noticed that most (80% of the people in my OCD support group {yes they exist, and I went to one for a year when I was trying to make a relationship work}) have co-occurring substance abuse problems. It is a very insidious disorder and most that suffer from it will try to medicate it away, which in turns causes the symptoms to become worse.

I have tried many medications to help with my disorders.
Anti-Depressants
prozac
celexa
lexapro
wellbutrin
effexor
zoloft (currently on this 100mg in the morning, and it helps bring me closer to baseline than anything else)

Anti-Psychotics
seroquel
abilify

Anti-Anxiety
xanax
klonipin
valium
temazepam
ambien

The combination I take now is zoloft, temazepam, and xanax. The xanax is PRN. It is so if I end up having a panic attack I can safely handle it.

I have been on many combinations of medications and they generally just leave me freaked out and in worse shape than if I had not taken them. Every psychiatrist treats it differently and will often just try to throw pills at it because they can't be bothered to actually work with your psychotherapist to develop a proper treatment plan for you. Doctors are also cracking down on how they prescribe Benzodiazepines which is pretty much a terrible thing for anyone that suffers Panic Disorder or OCD.

Some other problems that have come up for me because of my mental health diagnosis are agoraphobia (being afraid to leave the house{for me it is my yard}), paranoia, skin irritation from washing my hands, tooth problems from scrubbing the enamel off my teeth due to compulsive brushing, loss of relationships and a desire to be alone. These are just some of the problems that go along with this diagnosis.

If you have any questions or you think you have OCD or Panic Disorder, feel free to PM me. I hope I can help, because living this way is extremely difficult at best.:|
 
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I am a new member. So bare with me. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder 2 years ago. After trying 13 different options, I am now taking the following:

Lithium Carbonate 300 mg twice daily
Gabapentin 300 mg twice daily
Topamax 50 mg at bedtime
Zyprexa 15 mg dissolving tablet at bedtime

I'm really hoping to see some kind of improvement because I'm miserable!
 
Mirtrazipine (forgotten the dosage) for major depressive disorder.
This medication turned me into a zombie, I couldn't think, I couldn't write, I could barley string a sentence together. Plus I gained 3 stone because of it. I turned into a shadow of a man. No personality to speak of and if I decided not to take it I got awful brain zaps and panic attacks. It did help me sleep though. I'm totally of it now and I am thankful for that. It really made things worse for me... Bad thoughts, guys, I had bad, bad thoughts...
Peace and love.
 
Can OCD be curable with medication? Is Prozac the correct treatment for it? kindly let me know.:(
 
I am diagnosed with bp1 and after trying ssris (Zoloft and Paxil) with mood stabilizers (lithium and depakote) I am now taking latuda 80 mg, I saw it mentioned once but it's very new atypical antipsychotic and it halted all the weight I put on, so it's considered weight neutral which is a huge plus for many of us.
 
Hey, folks. I want to reiterate that no one here is a medical professional. Working with a professional that you trust and have good respectful communication with is always your best bet. Bluelight, and this sub-forum within it, are the anecdotal experiences of peers. If we have factual information we try to give it (pharmacological) but remember that no one here is either an expert or a doctor!
 
Please forgive me as I tried to post a new thread, but was unable. I need help- I was prescribed 2 mg Klonopin on May 20 and have managed to get down to 1 mg. I have a history of tachycardia, but the klonopin is causing it daily and just heat, an extensive walk, or any sort of stress puts me into these episodes. Im even experiencing a fear and panic I have never known. I know I have not been on the medication long and the dose is low, but the effects on me have diminished my quality of life entirely. I can't do anything it seems other than sit around or I trigger an episode. Please, how do I get off of this medicine without worsening symptoms and withdrawal? Thank you
 
FOR EZRA81

Dude, Get into counseling (maybe it can help) and have maybe like a sponsor or a friend that can help you NOT go to meth and all the others. That crap combined will kill you if you continue. When you feel it start, CALL FOR HELP. If you have no one, get online with those of us that have been where you are. I realize these are just words but coming from a person that built up a tolerance to most class 2 drugs and liked meth but realized that shit is bad news, I still will take my snow any day compared to meth. I am pretty faithful about taking my mental meds and asthma meds because i do not want a visit to either hosp...behavioral or regular for asthma. good luck man. I hope my words help even a little but because even a little bit can help.
 
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dui's after failing test believed to be on seroquel during the day. Are you serious?

8(After 7 years of trying everything under the son, My "mix" is depakene, seroquel and buproprion. I was even given a dui because the office took that i said seroquel as if I took it during the day. Guys I am on 600 Mg of that drug. That is enough to knock over a horse! He did not say shit about anything else like klonopins or Valiums of which i take sometimes as well. He ASSUMED that I took the seroquel during the day which is as stupid as me saying I am going to slit my wrists today. That drug (i do not know about you guys) makes me bobo. Now just based on his ALLEGATIONS I have lost my license, My opportunity to get a secret DOD clearance and lost my level 1 fingerprint card. ALL BECAUSE I COULD NOT PASS CERTAIN TESTS (balance never had it in the first place), had bit my tongue so speech was slurry, and TOOK SEROQUEL! I NEVER have take seroquel during the day in my life! I want to live. But none the less...2 dui's. Slightly Impaired and drugs/metabolites..but they let me go to get my car??? Plead not guilty. Unfortunately the allegations have cost me a lot and what is worse there is no way to fight it except in court. have shitty pd but hey what can i do?

Going to be a roller coaster my bp does not need.
 
you have to give ANY PSYCH MEDS 6-8 weeks generally speaking. It takes them that long to come in and to get out. Learn mediation techniques maybe or I had to use a candle flame to calm my afib when it occurred. I would focus on that candle flame and nothing else except 1 word...relax. I know that can be a 5 letter word for some of us. sometimes it is for me too being bp1 and manic most of the time but there were times I either went to the hosp for the umpteenth time or chill myself out.
 
appie said:
Dealing With Bipolar

Hello, this is my first post. Hopefully it will help somebody who is struggling with mental illness.

I am a 25 year old male who has struggled with BP I for nearly over 10 years now. I am nearly always on the manic side of the equation IF my symptoms are not under control or I am experiencing a normal period in my life. I rarely swing to the depressive side, although it has happened a few times, and one was serious enough to land me in a P-hospital for a couple of weeks. In general, when I am on my medications (I will get into this in a minute), I tend to stay in a low hypo-manic state. This is nice because I am high functioning without getting out of control. However, I still experience problematic behavior (pleasure seeking, money problems, drug seeking behavior, etc...).

I wanted to share my experience for people who are having a hard time dealing with mania. People who do not understand the disease tend to think that a manic episode is more "fun" or "enjoyable" than a depressive one. I can see where they might think that. After all, who doesn't want to feel confident, invincible, powerful... But I contend that both states are equally damaging to ones life. Behaviors exhibited during a hypo or full blown manic episode can very quickly cause your life to crumble, leading to depression, hopelessness, and suicidal ideation.

I have created a scale, which I will do my best to convey on this limited web based word processor.

Here is the "key" or "guide":
This scale is 1-100.
1 = The worst depression one can experience.
50 = Equilibrium. "Normal" if you will. Neither depressed nor manic.
100 = Dangerously manic, completely out of touch with reality.

This is important to note: 1-15 on the scale is considered a depressive episode with psychosis. 85-100 is considered a manic episode with psychosis. When you enter the 15th percentile on either end, and experience psychosis, you lose touch with reality. You lose the ability to move yourself back into the normal range without medical supervision.

So here's the visual representation of the scale:

(Depressed, Psychotic) Depressive Episode< >Hypo/Fully Manic Episode (Manic, Psychotic)
||---------------15-----------------------------------50-----------------------------------85----------------100||
Normal, Balanced​

It goes without saying that you should ideally shoot for the 50 range, where you experience little to no symptoms of BP. There are 3 ways I have found that help me stay close to this range. In order of ability to move you up or down the scale, they are: 1) Medication, 2) Diet, Sleep, Exercise, and 3) cognitive self evaluation (a fancy way of saying "I feel ______, I recognize this feeling, I will try to work on this using my own thought processes and affirmations).

Medication: If you have BP I, BP II, or any of the related mood disorders, you have more than likely tried more medications than you can even remember. It's a bitch. I understand the frustration with side-effects, doctors that treat you like an addict, medications that may make things worse... such is our plight. I advise you find a good therapist, figure out what you are trying to accomplish, and THEN go see a psychiatrist. Better yet, see an NP or PNP (psychiatric nurse provider). The difference between an NP and a shrink, is that the NP will allow you to make decisions in your treatment without pushing meds and a good NP will LISTEN to what you have to say about what you are dealing with. The shrink more often than not (at least IMO), will put you on a standard regimen, turning your mind into a battle zone.

A good example of proper medication management by my NP:As I have tried numerous mood stabilizers, atypicals, anti-depressants (the shrink gave me one, and it put me in the hospital), I have a pretty good idea of what works for me. My NP allows me to participate in my medication selection. Currently, I am taking 1200mg lithium, 20mg diazepam, and 4mg clonazepam daily. Admittedly this is an odd way to treat mania long term, as the benzos can and do become habit-forming, but on these meds I feel as close to normal as I have felt in 10 years. I don't even experience drowsiness from the meds because of my individual response to treatment. My former psychiatrist would not even consider this type of treament, and I suffered needlessly while he zombified me with depakote, seraquil, and trazodone. THE POINT IS THIS: find a doc that listens to you, and is willing to work with you on medication management. Its a long, hard process, but so worth it.

Sleep, Diet, Exercise: I cannot stress enough how important it is to treat your body right. Eat right. Get your blood flowing. SLEEP. It is absolutely incredible what your body can do when you treat it like you should. Instead of that McChicken, make a wrap sandwich with some fresh ingredients. Go for a bike ride around town, you might find new hobbies and friends. And make sure you do your best to sleep on a regular schedule. Turn that TV off late at night, and keep track of your progress in a journal. Not only will this calm you down, but it empties your subconscious mind of all the distractions we have in our modern world. You will probably find that each and every day gets a little better over time. Try using the scale I introduced above if you need somewhere to start.

Cognitive Self Evaluation: Don't get confused by the term. It just means that you should take a minute to evaluate how you are doing, and come up with strategies that will help you find balance. Some people meditate, others pray. You can even use this technique to assess the other 2 areas I mentioned. The point is, your brain is powerful. Learn to use it as a tool. Here's a short anecdote: A few years back a very close friend told me that he thought my BP was all in my head. That I was making it up (not necessarily on purpose, but almost as a compulsion). I was offended. I have dealt with debilitating effects for years, and here he is telling me that its all made up... But I did some thinking, and entertained the thought that maybe it was all just some elaborate hoax I tricked myself into believing, and kept re-affirming with every dose of medication and every discussion I had about it. As it turns out, he was partially right. After I changed my ATTITUDE and PERSPECTIVE on my disease, I found I could better control the symptoms. I no longer viewed myself as a victim, but as a person who is incredibly strong and can deal with things that many people cannot understand.

You are strong. You are worthy of a life filled with joy and happiness. NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise. Work on it a little every day, discuss with your p-doc what you are really feeling needs to happen, and break out into the world with something to offer.


"I used to live in a room full of mirrors; all I could see was me. I take my spirit and I crash my mirrors, now the whole world is here for me to see."
Jimi Hendrix
Click to expand...
I wish I had seen your scaling earlier as I now have 2 dui's because the officer thought I took seroquel during the day. Yeah right. like I want to slit my wrists (see posts earlier tonight). I am on the downward spiral because of all of this, what I have lost and cannot even get to counselor nor psych appointments as one is here in town but I have no transportation and the other is 1-1/2 hours a way from me. As you know it takes 3 months for a psych appointment but the courts don't give a crap about it even when the defense is based on the fact that you DID NOT take the med the police say that you did. To say that I am in a world of hurt is being nice. Definitely ready to "do something stupid" but I am trying to reach out to everyone I can trust and have help me from hitting that 15% you have. I hope i can catch it in time. BTW, had bp most of my life (am 55 now) but was not determined until I was in my 20's. Since then as you say it has been a roller coaster of drugs I cannot ever remember. I am going down the rabbit hole and right now do not want to come out.
 
Does lamotrogine cause restlessness?

Or is it my quetiapine 250mg XL, I wanted procyclidine but they gave me ropinirole wtf I have akathisia from the tablets but they reckon its restless legs from the fibro and when my oxycodone wears off.
 
I'm considering adding ketanserin (40mg twice a day) to my current regimen of meds for schizoaffective. I'm currently on lithium 450x2, Geodon 80mg x 2 and oxcarbmazepine 600mg x 2
 
Hezman94 said:
Does lamotrogine cause restlessness?

Or is it my quetiapine 250mg XL, I wanted procyclidine but they gave me ropinirole wtf I have akathisia from the tablets but they reckon its restless legs from the fibro and when my oxycodone wears off.
Click to expand...

I got restless legs from seroquel, not from lamictal.
 
I've been on more psychiatric medications than I can readily recall, but I think I've finally come to a combination that makes my life livable while allowing me to maintain the lifestyle I would like to lead without making me a shell of my true self.

I have bipolar type II and borderline personality disorder and typically experience severe depression, anhedonia, wild mood swings, anxiety, dissociation, and occasionally psychosis as a result. I've engaged in reckless drug use, self-harm, and were it not a part of borderline personality disorder I'd meet the qualifications for an eating disorder. I binge, purge, and use stimulants to avoid eating for days at a time. I dissociate/derealize to the point I sometimes can't tell what's real and confuse things I dreamed/imagined with things that actually happened and I'm never quite sure what's going on in my world and drift along in a foggy, ethereal existance. When I'm manic, this turns into full blown psychosis.

I've been on Lamictal 200mg and Wellbutrin 300mg XR for the past few months and honestly my life is looking up for the first time in a long time. I have motivation I've never had. I can enjoy things again without being high. The Wellbutrin has finally gotten my appetite under control and I'm starting to lose weight (the weight I gained from being on antipsychotics) and my health is improving drastically. The Lamictal smooths out my moods without making things flat, I still get excited easily and cry about silly things but I haven't had a manic episode or suicidal ideation since I got to the therapeutic dose of 200mg after a month and a half.

I've spent time on Seroquel, Abilify, Risperdal, and Invega, all of these drugs are poison and should only be used when absolutely necessary. I've been on Lexapro and I'm almost certain that's what triggered my bipolar. I've lived a meaningless amnesiac existence on benzodiazepines. None of these things helped the way these two drugs have helped me. I still have problems, but so does everybody. That's what life is about. Instead of lobotomizing me, these drugs make me enjoy playing with the cards I was dealt. My mind is back and I can finally study and understand complex concepts again. For better or worse, I'm finally myself again.
 
I'm glad you're doing so well. Lamictal - great drug, i'm on it. Same with wellbutrin, used to be on it until i started abusing it.

I have bipolar 1 and antisocial personality disorder. Pretty similar to you. Wishing you the best.
 
I grew up with a mum who was in and out of mental hospitals and nothing was ever explained to me.
Since I was 8 years old I wanted to die. I would pray to God all the time to let me die, or, get run over by a car and die. I did not know what suicide was at that age.

Mum tried to off herself when I was 13 and it was all for attention b/c she couldn't keep her legs closed at work and my father divorced her. He never remarried.
I never once witnessed or heard then fight or raise their voices to each other, which is actually healthy for a family to an extent it's not abuse.

When I was 15 mum married her co worker air traffic controller and moved to the Virgin Islands and left me and my 2 year older sister to fend for ourselves.
I don't know how I did it but I always got up and went to school.
After a year she came and got me and moved me up to Cincinnati with her alcoholic husband. Bill did not really like me but I tried my best to get along with him.
I partied like no end up there, lived on ludes and kept good grades but she sent me home after a year after my junior year ended.

They moved back down here and divorced and she quickly married another air traffic controller supervisor she had been seeing in Cincy at Ludkin airport they both worked at and moved to Terre Haute, Indiana.

My mum thinks everyone should be on antidepressants, she is nuts. So, I started seeing a shrink in my early 20's after a 5 year horrible marriage with abuse.

I started trying to suicide immediately and cannot count how many times I almost died. I have been on almost every antidepressants out in the 90's and before.
I never got better or a real diagnosis. Ventilators are no fun.
In 2000 I was seeing a military shrink who had me on 9 different psych meds. Geodon, Xanax, valium, lithium, Risperdal and cannot remember the rest. I was never getting any better, so, I decided to flush everything and I was a different person with no suicidal tendencies.

Come to find out, I was allergic to antidepressants which caused me to try and complete suicide every chance I could get.

I'll skip many years of trauma till 2011. I had not slept in 3 weeks and took 18 Lyrica b/c I knew it would not kill me, I just wanted to sleep. Come to find out it has antidepressant properties and I tried to run over my husband. I just went juts. I was having a psychotic break. Hubby had me committed and finally diagnosed Bipolar1, major depression and abandonment issues.(I left an abandonment out by a boyfriend who moved out on me while I was at work one Saturday). I don't know how I lived thorough that trauma.

I am also a chronic pain patient with Fibro and many other ailments that have me physically disabled by my Pain DR., not the gov. I have been in pain management 10 years.

Last year two men followed me inside my house and slammed my head against my glass door and all I could think of is I am going through to the pavement on the porch. I did not but woke up over a small antique table not knowing what had happened and I couldn't get up to get my cell. I had to sliver like a snake to the study where a land line was and the cord was hanging down where In could grab it. I called hubby and told him to come home now.
I couldn't remember what had happened but I was beat to hell and back. Hubby just put me to bed.

In 2004 I was abducted and raped at gunpoint and kept in a room locked for what seemed like many hours. After the rape I was told I was going to be the party favor for about 20 guys that were there, so, I had to think quick to save my life and told him I needed to call my kids and check on them and tell them I would not be home. Great big lie.
I called my neighbor where I was at due to a party and went with this guy to get some beer who I had seen over there before, so, I thought he was safe. WE never made it to the store and he paraded me like a trophy to many people and he had his hand around my wrist so I couldn't get away.

Back to the phone call, all the guys were huddled around me and I called my friend whose house I had been at and just disappeared. I said rape and the guys just scattered and I told him I was at an apartment complex and he said he knew where it was and he was on his way.
I flew out the door just knowing I was going to be shot in the back but didn't care. When I reached the drive my friend was just pulling up and he saved my life.

I was to afraid to report the abduction and rape b/c he knew where I lived. I kept this secret for 7 years till I couldn't anymore and couldn't stop crying as I convinced myself It didn't happen but I finally realized it did and finally told my husband and my PCP who put me on Kolonopin.

Back to last year and the attack, I had a closed head injury and had to close one eye to watch tv or read. My eyes recently got better after a year but I still cannot remember anything but the head slam. I did have a dream it was a man working on a house next to mine and his boss who were immediately gone. Earlier that day at different times they did come over one at a time to borrow water and I gave them each a half gallon of bottled water. It was a set up.

I couldn't eat anything for over 3 months. I weighed 150 and am 5'5". I lost over 50 lbs and got below 99lbs. I was in a terrible psychosis and everything smelled of urine, everything.
I accused my husband of urinating in the corner of the bathroom and all over the house. WE bought new toilet seats and I constantly cleaned the bathrooms and could never get rid of the smell.
I was also hurting so bad in my cervical back for days and couldn't get rid of it and just screamed and screamed like I had concrete slabs on my back. I have a curve in my neck and hold my head differently.
I took 24 psych pills and 3 2mg xanax bars just so I could go to sleep and be pain free. My husband didn't know and he said at 3 am I passed out so hard in the bedroom it woke him and he put me unconscious in the bed on my back and did not call for help. He said the next morning I was still asleep and hadn't moved.
He went to work and when he came home I was still in the bed on my back not breathing cause I had vomited and was drowning. He finally called 911.
I had a 19% chance and was in ICU 4 days. I was still very psychotic but didn't know it and there was this smell that would not go away. All the nurses smelled like it and I couldn't eat anything because of the smell. All the food smelled the same disgusting smell and no one caught on to what was really happening.

Hubby said I tried to hang myself so he called 911 and they took me by ambulance with almost no clothes on, just a tiny lace top and undies with a tiny red silk robe that barley covered my thighs. I was 99 lbs.
They took me to the hospital and I had to wait and finally I was told I was going to Lawrenceville, GA outside Atlanta to a hospital called Summit Ridge. I fought 6 big cops for an hour cause I was not going anywhere. It was over two hours away and I live in SC. Finally after the cops were wore out one of em talked me into getting on the gurney and going. I was told I would get clothes and it was a great place.
Wrong! Summit Ridge is a fake insurance scam with fake Doctors and nurses all from the Caribbean where you can buy fake licences.
I was told I was there to get off all my meds b/c I took too much which is not true. I told them I am a disabled pain patient who takes Dilaudid x4 and 2mg Xanax x3 and Robaxin and Geodon. I was told they did not have any Dilaudid and wasn't going to get any of my meds and was going to be taken off. After three days and withdrawals they broke me and I had to sigh something agreeing with them, I was so sick I couldn't even write or hold up my head due to my psychosis but never talked to one fake doctor and no one questioned my dramatic weight loss and me not eating anything the week I was there.
After three days when I was to go home I was told my insurance did not cover out of state hospitals but they told me I was staying two more days which was a lie. I stayed 4 more days. The place was so dirty and nasty I still have gunk coming out my eyes.
I did see them give a patient Dilaudid and I was so pissed they lied to me but I couldn't say anything or they would shoot me up with God knows what and chain me down in a padded room. I kept my mouth shut even though I could hardly talk, The only people concerned about me was not the staff but the other patients. They kept asking me why I looked so sad and held my head down all the time. All I could do was cry.
Not one fake person who worked there was concerned for me at all plus I saw a woman die right in front of me after they shot her up with haldol , thorazine and a couple other meds. They kept telling us to not look at her and turn our chairs inward. She looked the color of death, her tongue was sticking out her mouth, it was also black, and her eyes were in the back of her head.
The fake nurses kept making excuses not to go over to her but one did and threw water on her and asked her if she was having a seizure. WHAT!!! No one called 911 or a fake doctor. I know she is buried somewhere on the grounds but if I call the GBI, I have no credibility due to where I was. I cannot stop seeing her.
On the seventh day they told my husband to pick me up at noon. They did not let me go till 4.30 and he had to wait the whole fucking time and so did others.

He was so happy to see me, I had on dirty scrubs cause they did not give me any clothes like I was told they would and he brought my favorite cd's and had me a drink.
I just sat in one spot in the front seat and did not move for over two hours and did not want to hear my music or have my drink and I didn't say a word. That's how sick I was.

When I got home all I could do was sit on the bed and had not shampooed my hair in over a week but I couldn't take care of myself which is typical with psychosis. I had a week to get myself together before a shrink apt. I was so thin and lost even more weight I looked like a Holocaust victim and I am Jewish. I was just skin hanging off bones. I was so ashamed of the way I looked I could not let my husband see me unclothed. My DD's were flat and everything smelled of urine when hubby said all the clothes smelled of fabric softener. I did not believe him.
He had my Dilaudid filled while I was gone but he didn't tell me he had them in the car and I was shocked he didn't tell me even I though spoke no words.

There was even a tech there that when he had his shift everyday he constantly sprayed Lysol all over us and it was inhumane. I can still taste it and he would not stop and I was there a week. I probably with everyone else has Lysol poisoning.

Now I am really working very hard on myself. I am an artist and my art helps keep me sane along with 80 mg of Geodon, 2mg Xanax bars, 30mg Adderall x2 and the lowest dose of a mood stabilizer Lamictal x2 25mg at night and it is used as an antidepressant or mood stabilizer and I am watched closely while taking it and it has helped. I have gained 33lbs.

I think I am having a reaction to the Geodon, my skin on my face is peeling and the skin inside my mouth peels off so thick I have bleeding raw spots and blisters inside the raw spots and my lips swell. I have a rash and my lymph nodes are swollen and I had a fever when my mouth was bleeding so bad when the skin came off.

I saw my shrink yesterday and he dropped my Geodon dose back down to 60 mg from 80, this is when all this started to happen, so, I hope it all goes away and it can be deadly.
The Geodon was helping me so well I just hope I can do as good on the lower dose and I haven't smelled urine in a long time. It's the Xanax that takes that away.
I want to come down to 1mg Xanax so I can go up on my pain meds but I tried two months ago and I had to go back to the 2mg bars. I'll try again in a couple more months.
Even though my pain is very bad and disabling, so is my mental health, so, I am disabled both mentally and physically and I am going to file a claim as soon as I can write better.

I have come a long way and take it minute by minute. I don't know what I would do with out my Psychiatrist and my Pain DR. I just wished my husband would believe that I was actually attacked, he told the police he thought I had fallen. I was attacked and bled from an orifice I shouldn't have for a week. I believe my mind is protecting men from remembering. My story has never changed which proves I'm telling the truth and my hubby now says he believes me but I am having a hard time with him not believing at first.
It's a terrible feeling not being believed b/c my mum never believed me when I was a child and I never lied to her.

ETA: I also have schizto effective disorder on top of all the other shit. Lucky me, no?

Sorry this is so long.
 
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