Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Greetings,
Given my relatively new account here, as a little disclaimer: mods, if this isn't the right section (was contemplating between here and the Dark Side), feel free to move or merge.
I'm also sure detox regiments are everywhere, and many have helped me in the past, but, from my own experience, this the regiment program that has actually done wonders for me. Part of me feels that, given that we are all different, biologically, socioeconomically, etc, this might have worked so well for me because, unlike you, I am me. Nonetheless, I hope this might prove beneficial to another having gone through struggles with opiates similar to myself.
A little background:
As a freshman in university, I believe, I was unsuspectingly introduced to opiates. My only experiences prior to university has consisted of smoking vicodin blunts... bleh, please don't wast a good old vicodin on that. S.t.u.p.i.d. Anyways, you get the idea, sooooooo...
My first experience freshman year was at commencement. I asked a roommate for something do get fucked up for at the ceremony where my class was officially entered into the college. He gave me, I still don't know, either a pill with 5mg hydrocodone/500mg apap or 10mg hydrocodone/750mg apap. Just one pill, but it got me good and giggly for the whole ceremony. Afterwards, I asked if he had anything else, and he gave me a pill he said would "fuck me up." Hahaha, now, I was a first time opiate user (and my roommate was to be a well established dick), and he gave me a little white pill. Okay, let me say, this got me F*(D up. Seriously so, to the point of auditory hallucinations. Anyway, overall, even though I didn't know what to make of it at the time being new to opiates, I had a great time on it. Only later on did I discover the little white pill he gave me was 10mg methadone. Thanks for telling me bro...
Well, over the next four years I experimented with vicodin, percocet, codiene, ppt, heroin, oxycotin, oxymorphone, suboxone, darvocets, tramadol... I think that's about it. After being introduced to oxycotin, a friend of mine turned me on to heroin, and after a year or two of relatively stable use things began getting nasty. No money. The sickness, etc. Shitty time in my life all around.
After moving to Boston to attend law school, I knew things had to start to change, with he ultimate goal to be opiate free. At least, what I'd really like is to learn to control my use to one or two times a week, and only with my significant other. Please, given my experiences, this is decision I am only shooting for. It isn't the most likely outcome of whatever I do with opiates, but I want to try it, and see where it leads me.
As of now, I spent most of the fall, about two months, pretty addicted to heroin. Snorting mostly, but did end up IV'ing about 5-7 times. Those iv times was basically the end for me with dope. Couldn't deal with everything involved with that - copping, super shady manipulative people, shitty lifestyle all around, constant withdrawal, having go down and cop, getting burned, etc.
So, I got a hook up for suboxone a while ago and spend about two and a half months on that. Averaged from 12-8mg in the beginning. At this point I had become dedicated to getting myself off a full blow addiction, with the ultimate, albeit unrealistic goal, of becoming a weekend warrior.
So, what I've been doing now is taking suboxone sporadically, sharing them with my SO. Probably use them for two-three days at a time, nor more than (myself) ingesting 12mgs during those days (generally 4mg day 1, two day two and two day three). One time I supplemented with 10mg of methadone, but that's never really been the best drug for me (horrible after effects).
Anyways, I've recently discovered klonipam and neurotonin. Bacailly took 6mg of klonopin today, and feeling great. Last time I took anything opiate wise was 2mg suboxone two days ago [prior to that for about two weeks, I had been taking about 4mg every other day or so, even taking a full four days off]. All around, I feel great (dug, I'm on six mg of klonopin). Tomorrow I'm going to start the day with 800mg of neurotonin, supplimenting with another 800mg or 400mg in the early afternoon if necessary. Also, if necessary, will be taking 2, 3 or 4mg of klonopin tomorrow night.
Hopefully I can get some more klonopin tomorrow, so I can use it to suppliment the withdrawl from sub over the next two to three week. Then, given a previous addiction to z-drugs (HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE AND WITHDRAWAL that I never ever want to have to experience again), I want to cut off the k pins after three weeks of use. After that, I plan on continuing to use neurotonin for another week or two.
After that, I bacially plan to use neurotonin to ease the withdrawal symptons for the next two-three weeks, the first two weeks supplimenting with 4mg of suboxone once or twice a week on friday and another day, probably during the week or saterday. I have a very limited supply of klonopin to help the process along. And I also hope to find a could dollys (methadone, 10mg) to mess around with in the future, during the last step of the trip, once I've run out of suboxone and plan to use neurotonin for a while.
Anyways, sorry for all this writing. Thanks in advance for reading all this crap to begin with! Super kudos just for that!
Anyways, what do ya'll think of my pseudo plan, where I might be headed, what to expect, and basically any advice you can offer.
And, for the record, I am doing this mainly to get over the physical withdrawal from the suboxone for so long. I really REALLY do not want to be taking sub everyday, even for a taper. In terms of tapering off suboxone day by day, I've discovered that, given an non-opiate alternative in the interm, I preffer to just take something different the days in between sub dosing. For example, day one take 2mg, day two 4-6mg klonopin, 800-1200mg neurotonin the third day, and then repeat. Also, using Loperdine for any stomach issues.
I know PAWS is a WHOLE nother mother F*&ker, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. Getting back on lexapro, given my success on the drug given past success, I really should and will do. But got damn, why does that drug have to be so fricken expensive!??!?!?
Again, thanks in advance for any suggestions, comments, advice, whatever, it's all appreciated!!!
Cheers,
-Mike
p.s. any issues of withdrawalling from neurotonin after taking it for 4-5 weeks, alternating days I does, at 800-1200mg average (although I imagine I'll up it to twice that on special occasions - but this won't be a frequent thing).
p.p.s. To clear up any confusion here's my basic situation: been taking suboxone for the last two months, averaging 4mg a days, sometimes skipping days. This is what I want to successfully withdrawal off of to the point I'm no longer physically addicted to suboxone (again, I know PAWS is a whole nother struggle, but I've got other therapeutic resources to help with that).
Here the plan:
Today: no suboxone, 6mg klonopins
Tomorrow: no suboxone, 800-1200mg neurotonin, 2mg klonopin in the evening
Wednesday: no suboxone, 800-1200mg neurotonin, 2mg klonopin in the evening
Thursday: no suboxone, 800-2400mg neurotonin, no klonopin
Friday: no suboxone, no neurotonin, either 2mg xanax or 2-4mg klonopin in the evening
Saterday: no suboxone, no neurotonin, either 2mg xanax or 2-4mg klonopin in the evening. possible 10mg methadone
Sunday: possibly 2-4mg suboxone, 800-1200 neurotonin
On monday I'm going to re evaluate my situation.
Given my relatively new account here, as a little disclaimer: mods, if this isn't the right section (was contemplating between here and the Dark Side), feel free to move or merge.
I'm also sure detox regiments are everywhere, and many have helped me in the past, but, from my own experience, this the regiment program that has actually done wonders for me. Part of me feels that, given that we are all different, biologically, socioeconomically, etc, this might have worked so well for me because, unlike you, I am me. Nonetheless, I hope this might prove beneficial to another having gone through struggles with opiates similar to myself.
A little background:
As a freshman in university, I believe, I was unsuspectingly introduced to opiates. My only experiences prior to university has consisted of smoking vicodin blunts... bleh, please don't wast a good old vicodin on that. S.t.u.p.i.d. Anyways, you get the idea, sooooooo...
My first experience freshman year was at commencement. I asked a roommate for something do get fucked up for at the ceremony where my class was officially entered into the college. He gave me, I still don't know, either a pill with 5mg hydrocodone/500mg apap or 10mg hydrocodone/750mg apap. Just one pill, but it got me good and giggly for the whole ceremony. Afterwards, I asked if he had anything else, and he gave me a pill he said would "fuck me up." Hahaha, now, I was a first time opiate user (and my roommate was to be a well established dick), and he gave me a little white pill. Okay, let me say, this got me F*(D up. Seriously so, to the point of auditory hallucinations. Anyway, overall, even though I didn't know what to make of it at the time being new to opiates, I had a great time on it. Only later on did I discover the little white pill he gave me was 10mg methadone. Thanks for telling me bro...
Well, over the next four years I experimented with vicodin, percocet, codiene, ppt, heroin, oxycotin, oxymorphone, suboxone, darvocets, tramadol... I think that's about it. After being introduced to oxycotin, a friend of mine turned me on to heroin, and after a year or two of relatively stable use things began getting nasty. No money. The sickness, etc. Shitty time in my life all around.
After moving to Boston to attend law school, I knew things had to start to change, with he ultimate goal to be opiate free. At least, what I'd really like is to learn to control my use to one or two times a week, and only with my significant other. Please, given my experiences, this is decision I am only shooting for. It isn't the most likely outcome of whatever I do with opiates, but I want to try it, and see where it leads me.
As of now, I spent most of the fall, about two months, pretty addicted to heroin. Snorting mostly, but did end up IV'ing about 5-7 times. Those iv times was basically the end for me with dope. Couldn't deal with everything involved with that - copping, super shady manipulative people, shitty lifestyle all around, constant withdrawal, having go down and cop, getting burned, etc.
So, I got a hook up for suboxone a while ago and spend about two and a half months on that. Averaged from 12-8mg in the beginning. At this point I had become dedicated to getting myself off a full blow addiction, with the ultimate, albeit unrealistic goal, of becoming a weekend warrior.
So, what I've been doing now is taking suboxone sporadically, sharing them with my SO. Probably use them for two-three days at a time, nor more than (myself) ingesting 12mgs during those days (generally 4mg day 1, two day two and two day three). One time I supplemented with 10mg of methadone, but that's never really been the best drug for me (horrible after effects).
Anyways, I've recently discovered klonipam and neurotonin. Bacailly took 6mg of klonopin today, and feeling great. Last time I took anything opiate wise was 2mg suboxone two days ago [prior to that for about two weeks, I had been taking about 4mg every other day or so, even taking a full four days off]. All around, I feel great (dug, I'm on six mg of klonopin). Tomorrow I'm going to start the day with 800mg of neurotonin, supplimenting with another 800mg or 400mg in the early afternoon if necessary. Also, if necessary, will be taking 2, 3 or 4mg of klonopin tomorrow night.
Hopefully I can get some more klonopin tomorrow, so I can use it to suppliment the withdrawl from sub over the next two to three week. Then, given a previous addiction to z-drugs (HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE AND WITHDRAWAL that I never ever want to have to experience again), I want to cut off the k pins after three weeks of use. After that, I plan on continuing to use neurotonin for another week or two.
After that, I bacially plan to use neurotonin to ease the withdrawal symptons for the next two-three weeks, the first two weeks supplimenting with 4mg of suboxone once or twice a week on friday and another day, probably during the week or saterday. I have a very limited supply of klonopin to help the process along. And I also hope to find a could dollys (methadone, 10mg) to mess around with in the future, during the last step of the trip, once I've run out of suboxone and plan to use neurotonin for a while.
Anyways, sorry for all this writing. Thanks in advance for reading all this crap to begin with! Super kudos just for that!
Anyways, what do ya'll think of my pseudo plan, where I might be headed, what to expect, and basically any advice you can offer.
And, for the record, I am doing this mainly to get over the physical withdrawal from the suboxone for so long. I really REALLY do not want to be taking sub everyday, even for a taper. In terms of tapering off suboxone day by day, I've discovered that, given an non-opiate alternative in the interm, I preffer to just take something different the days in between sub dosing. For example, day one take 2mg, day two 4-6mg klonopin, 800-1200mg neurotonin the third day, and then repeat. Also, using Loperdine for any stomach issues.
I know PAWS is a WHOLE nother mother F*&ker, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. Getting back on lexapro, given my success on the drug given past success, I really should and will do. But got damn, why does that drug have to be so fricken expensive!??!?!?
Again, thanks in advance for any suggestions, comments, advice, whatever, it's all appreciated!!!
Cheers,
-Mike
p.s. any issues of withdrawalling from neurotonin after taking it for 4-5 weeks, alternating days I does, at 800-1200mg average (although I imagine I'll up it to twice that on special occasions - but this won't be a frequent thing).
p.p.s. To clear up any confusion here's my basic situation: been taking suboxone for the last two months, averaging 4mg a days, sometimes skipping days. This is what I want to successfully withdrawal off of to the point I'm no longer physically addicted to suboxone (again, I know PAWS is a whole nother struggle, but I've got other therapeutic resources to help with that).
Here the plan:
Today: no suboxone, 6mg klonopins
Tomorrow: no suboxone, 800-1200mg neurotonin, 2mg klonopin in the evening
Wednesday: no suboxone, 800-1200mg neurotonin, 2mg klonopin in the evening
Thursday: no suboxone, 800-2400mg neurotonin, no klonopin
Friday: no suboxone, no neurotonin, either 2mg xanax or 2-4mg klonopin in the evening
Saterday: no suboxone, no neurotonin, either 2mg xanax or 2-4mg klonopin in the evening. possible 10mg methadone
Sunday: possibly 2-4mg suboxone, 800-1200 neurotonin
On monday I'm going to re evaluate my situation.
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