Pseudovoyager
Bluelighter
This is an old experience report that was posted by me at another forum. I am editing out the use of SWIM and posting it here for further input. Hopefully someone here can throw some constructive ideas at me on this 
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First a little background: I rarely, if ever, have had any true sober hallucinations or episodes. Just some mania here and there, and sleep deprivation. I use a decent bit of substances (at least 3 to 4 times a week, I'd say.) This story is going to include 5 substances used at separate times but within close intervals. I'm aware that the combinations herein were probably stupid and dangerous. Silly me. I in no way recommend that anyone try anything my wife and I did in this story.
I had an experience the other night like no other. It was full of intensely real hallucinations. But the catch was the lack of delirium and the presence of total insight. Please, anyone, if you can, tell me how I reached this state or what kind of brain chemistry could've allowed this to happen. Story Follows:
Thursday afternoon I recieved 60 1mg kpins. Happy about this, no doubt, I popped one and headed to the grocery store with my wife. We returned home and had some dinner, and took a couple of benzos apiece. Mind you, we usually have enough sense to know better than to not hide our stash after a couple of benzos. Momentary lapse of reason. Long story short (mainly because he has no idea of what happened in that span of time), I came to on Friday afternoon with 20 Kpins left. Well shit.
Still felt the aftermong of the kpins well into Sunday and some into Monday. Tuesday night it happened. Hopefully some of you are familiar with Propylhexedrine, or Benzedrex. Extracting the contents of these little inhalers will fuck one up right and proper, close in feeling to a good bit of some strange crossbreed of amphetamine and MDMA; sort of like a weak dose of meth. Anyway, my wife and I decided to get some and have a speedy night together. We each consumed the extract of two inhalers, or 500mg apiece. This was the 4th or 5th time we'd done this in the span of about 2 months so we had a general idea of what to expect. Well, baby, we were in for a ride.
About an hour and a half into our fun-filled night, I noticed something felt...different...about the Propyl. My heartrate was not nearly as fast or hard as usual, however, that may have been due to some benzo still lingering in our systems. As the night progressed, about T+2:30, I noticed I wasn't really speeding that much anymore, so I downed a Bawls (high-caffeine carbonated beverage), and my wife had a Starbucks frapuccino thingy. Half an hour after, we each had 50mg caffeine HCl in the form of Vivarin tablets. That kept us going for a while, but eventually, around T+3:45 or 4:00, I noticed I was not speeding very much once again; strange. The duration seemed a lot shorter than usual, and our dose was a higher one than we normally took. Then I noted a difference: my mood was SUPERB and hyper-emotional. Normal for propyl, but my mood was not the expected speedy euphoria. It was a calm, yet burstingly intense, love for everything. My speed had turned into boundless controllable energy.
This is where it all changed. I was getting hot and decided to go grab the fan from the living room. It was dark when I went in the room. That's when I noticed a little box in the corner. Strange, I hadn't noticed that before. I went to grab it and suddenly it disappeared into thin air!
A pause. In my younger teen years, I abused a good bit of diphenhydramine for some stupid reason. If any of you are familiar with the kind of visual hallucinations you get (NOT the delirium or the trance states; the actual active hallucinations; cobwebs, sparks, etc.), you will know what I mean. Continued:
When the box disappeared, I realized it had looked exactly like a benadryl hallucination. Oh shit. What was that all about? I walked around a bit more and quickly realized I was beginning to see things. Amorphous, gelatinous-looking blobs or translucent large bubble-like walls began to appear every now and then on objects. The walls started to breathe. I called my wife into the living room, getting a little scared that I was about to start some kind of retarded deliriant trip. I asked her to "pick up the box in the corner." To my surprise, she tried. A 'what the fuck' escaped her lips.
Something was different. These hallucinations were not sinister. They interacted with us. For hours, they played with balls of energy, sat in a pitch-black room and flew through spider-web like purple neon portals, which later became a comfortable cottage room with a cozy fireplace. We went on a nature walk and watched the stars fall out of the sky, and the plants grow new shoots at awesome speeds. We had a spiritual experience. And the striking difference was....the pure insight. The total lack of delirium. The "NOW"ness of the experience and the extremely vivid and tangible nature of the hallucinations.
Finally tired, we went to bed. My wife wasn't hallucinating anymore. But mine had only gotten more intense. I laid in bed and watched as silver streaks flew out of my peripheral vision from unspecified directions, turning slowly into neon bright colors as they thickened and become exotic and breathtaking flowers and vines. I could even pick them up and move them around. They were friendly to me. I was completely conscious that I was hallucinating, laying there, waving my hands around, playing with the flowers and watching vines creep up my arms....at one point a friendly snake coiled around my wrist before I fell asleep.
This was the most intense hallucinogenic experience I have ever had for a few reasons that I yearn to understand with an almost scary obsession. Why did my wife and I both have the same experience with shared hallucinations on this occasion? What magical combination was it that we did? Why were the hallucinations so vivid, so clear, so interactive, friendly? Why the insight?
I know how anticholinergic hallucinations feel. This couldn't have been any further from that, yet the intensity of this experience was of comparison.
I have read up on Peduncular Hallucinosis, and this sounded the most similar, but neither of us have brain lesions that we know of.
The ONLY even plausible explanation I can surmise is, hey, look at that, amphetamine/stimulant psychosis. But it was not unpleasant like it s. There was no sleep deprivation. There was no mental confusion. There was peace rather than paranoia.
Please, if anyone has ever experienced anything like this...or knows by what routes in the brain something like this would be caused...post!!
The level of obsession I have with figuring out just what happened is starting to freak me out. I *Need* to understand it. It was so breathtaking. I want to repeat it, any way possible. And again I ask...why would my wife and I both experience this at the same time, both having never had an experience even close in nature before?
I digress.
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First a little background: I rarely, if ever, have had any true sober hallucinations or episodes. Just some mania here and there, and sleep deprivation. I use a decent bit of substances (at least 3 to 4 times a week, I'd say.) This story is going to include 5 substances used at separate times but within close intervals. I'm aware that the combinations herein were probably stupid and dangerous. Silly me. I in no way recommend that anyone try anything my wife and I did in this story.
I had an experience the other night like no other. It was full of intensely real hallucinations. But the catch was the lack of delirium and the presence of total insight. Please, anyone, if you can, tell me how I reached this state or what kind of brain chemistry could've allowed this to happen. Story Follows:
Thursday afternoon I recieved 60 1mg kpins. Happy about this, no doubt, I popped one and headed to the grocery store with my wife. We returned home and had some dinner, and took a couple of benzos apiece. Mind you, we usually have enough sense to know better than to not hide our stash after a couple of benzos. Momentary lapse of reason. Long story short (mainly because he has no idea of what happened in that span of time), I came to on Friday afternoon with 20 Kpins left. Well shit.
Still felt the aftermong of the kpins well into Sunday and some into Monday. Tuesday night it happened. Hopefully some of you are familiar with Propylhexedrine, or Benzedrex. Extracting the contents of these little inhalers will fuck one up right and proper, close in feeling to a good bit of some strange crossbreed of amphetamine and MDMA; sort of like a weak dose of meth. Anyway, my wife and I decided to get some and have a speedy night together. We each consumed the extract of two inhalers, or 500mg apiece. This was the 4th or 5th time we'd done this in the span of about 2 months so we had a general idea of what to expect. Well, baby, we were in for a ride.
About an hour and a half into our fun-filled night, I noticed something felt...different...about the Propyl. My heartrate was not nearly as fast or hard as usual, however, that may have been due to some benzo still lingering in our systems. As the night progressed, about T+2:30, I noticed I wasn't really speeding that much anymore, so I downed a Bawls (high-caffeine carbonated beverage), and my wife had a Starbucks frapuccino thingy. Half an hour after, we each had 50mg caffeine HCl in the form of Vivarin tablets. That kept us going for a while, but eventually, around T+3:45 or 4:00, I noticed I was not speeding very much once again; strange. The duration seemed a lot shorter than usual, and our dose was a higher one than we normally took. Then I noted a difference: my mood was SUPERB and hyper-emotional. Normal for propyl, but my mood was not the expected speedy euphoria. It was a calm, yet burstingly intense, love for everything. My speed had turned into boundless controllable energy.
This is where it all changed. I was getting hot and decided to go grab the fan from the living room. It was dark when I went in the room. That's when I noticed a little box in the corner. Strange, I hadn't noticed that before. I went to grab it and suddenly it disappeared into thin air!
A pause. In my younger teen years, I abused a good bit of diphenhydramine for some stupid reason. If any of you are familiar with the kind of visual hallucinations you get (NOT the delirium or the trance states; the actual active hallucinations; cobwebs, sparks, etc.), you will know what I mean. Continued:
When the box disappeared, I realized it had looked exactly like a benadryl hallucination. Oh shit. What was that all about? I walked around a bit more and quickly realized I was beginning to see things. Amorphous, gelatinous-looking blobs or translucent large bubble-like walls began to appear every now and then on objects. The walls started to breathe. I called my wife into the living room, getting a little scared that I was about to start some kind of retarded deliriant trip. I asked her to "pick up the box in the corner." To my surprise, she tried. A 'what the fuck' escaped her lips.
Something was different. These hallucinations were not sinister. They interacted with us. For hours, they played with balls of energy, sat in a pitch-black room and flew through spider-web like purple neon portals, which later became a comfortable cottage room with a cozy fireplace. We went on a nature walk and watched the stars fall out of the sky, and the plants grow new shoots at awesome speeds. We had a spiritual experience. And the striking difference was....the pure insight. The total lack of delirium. The "NOW"ness of the experience and the extremely vivid and tangible nature of the hallucinations.
Finally tired, we went to bed. My wife wasn't hallucinating anymore. But mine had only gotten more intense. I laid in bed and watched as silver streaks flew out of my peripheral vision from unspecified directions, turning slowly into neon bright colors as they thickened and become exotic and breathtaking flowers and vines. I could even pick them up and move them around. They were friendly to me. I was completely conscious that I was hallucinating, laying there, waving my hands around, playing with the flowers and watching vines creep up my arms....at one point a friendly snake coiled around my wrist before I fell asleep.
This was the most intense hallucinogenic experience I have ever had for a few reasons that I yearn to understand with an almost scary obsession. Why did my wife and I both have the same experience with shared hallucinations on this occasion? What magical combination was it that we did? Why were the hallucinations so vivid, so clear, so interactive, friendly? Why the insight?
I know how anticholinergic hallucinations feel. This couldn't have been any further from that, yet the intensity of this experience was of comparison.
I have read up on Peduncular Hallucinosis, and this sounded the most similar, but neither of us have brain lesions that we know of.
The ONLY even plausible explanation I can surmise is, hey, look at that, amphetamine/stimulant psychosis. But it was not unpleasant like it s. There was no sleep deprivation. There was no mental confusion. There was peace rather than paranoia.
Please, if anyone has ever experienced anything like this...or knows by what routes in the brain something like this would be caused...post!!
The level of obsession I have with figuring out just what happened is starting to freak me out. I *Need* to understand it. It was so breathtaking. I want to repeat it, any way possible. And again I ask...why would my wife and I both experience this at the same time, both having never had an experience even close in nature before?
I digress.
