• Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Harm Reduction Progress Mega Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hey everyone....Im back! I see this has been a quite place lately.

@Cam520: Good job, Getting on Bupes is the real 1st step to recovery; after having decided that this is what you really want of course.
Good luck man, and listen to the above post about not being on it for long. You will be the decider and not your Dr.

As for myself, after 10 years of snorting H, i can proudly say that i've been clean for 1 year and 3 weeks now. I have been on Subutex
since then and recently lowered my dose to 0.2 mg. I'm not refilling anymore, and i think 1 full year of medication is enough. After all,
i didn't beat my H addiction to exchange it with a new one. I still get those crazy ass dreams where i'm meeting my ex-dealer and scoring,
and never able to do a single line before waking up. I read a lot about those lucid dreams, but it's funny that after 1 full year, my subconscious
mind i still affected.

Health wise, i'm very grateful about who i am today. Eating, sleeping, jogging and slowly coming back to life. I was a clear case of a junctional funkie,
so for most of these years i almost always had money and was scoring everyday for the last 8 years. EVERY SINGLE DAY! Aouchhh, thinking about
it now.

I will definitely come back here more often because i miss BL as a whole and this thread in particular. I hope we keep it up and running one more time.

I also hope Captain H is doing good a well as Cane and the moderators of this great place. I'll be back and i wish you all good luck.
 
^ it's awesome hearing your update, man! Your story is truly inspiring and exactly why we have this thread - I just wish it were used more ;)

I'm doing really well myself, thanks. Recently I've been making some plans to move to Portland and I'm really looking forward to it.
 
hey Cane :)

I love how you keep advancing on here, the mighty administrator now huh. Keep up the good work, u must be really doing something right.
Change is always good and healthy, go for it. My life was turned upside down when i relocated to Canada (in a good, fun way)

I will be back later for some much needed writing therapy. Stay tuned.

"The only constant thing in life is change" - Albert Einstein
 
^ it's awesome hearing your update, man! Your story is truly inspiring and exactly why we have this thread - I just wish it were used more ;)

I'm doing really well myself, thanks. Recently I've been making some plans to move to Portland and I'm really looking forward to it.

That's awesome man! Go west, my son. :)
 
Haven't been around much lately. What happened to CH? I know he had an injury [arm??] but can anyone give some specifics and whether he still checks his PM's for well wishers?
 
^^^ I sent C.H a private message but didn't get a reply yet. I can see he's active from the front page, hope he's alive and kicking. I remember, it was an injured arm.


Ok, so here is what i have in mind now. As i said time after time, I have been doing drugs for 15 years and Heroin was my D.O.C for the last 10.
After relocating, i have been on Subutex for 1 year now, with only 10 mgs left and don't want anymore refills. I have been lowering my dose for about 2 months, reaching 0.2 mg/day intranasal. I'm planning to make it every other day before i quit altogether. I only have Remeron (Mirtazapine) at the moment, and it
should probably be useful and not sure if i want to go to a Dr. for some Clonadine or anything else. It's true that with these low doses i don't really feel "medicated" anymore, but im still on the Subs and the whole idea of total sobriety is starting to play with my head. The tiny lines i have been taking are both; something to be proud of, by just picturing the 1/2 g ticket(s) i have been scoring for years and how i would divide them in 2 big dandy lines. Yes 1/4 gram for each nostril in 3 seconds! At the same time, those same lines are a clear reminder that my opiate days are numbered. Leading me to one main question: How would life be after
all these years of substance bingeing.

By lowering my dose (0.2-0.3 mg) i have noticed the following:

1-More sexual arousal. Instead of cumming just once a day or once every other day, i'm capable of doing it 3 times/day.
Just like a horny 16 year old.
2- Less sleeping hours. I also wake up fresh and can't really sleep again. I could easily sleep 9 + hours on 1 mg or more, now 7 are more than enough.
3- The effect of alcohol is more noticeable. I'm talking about the occasional few glasses of wine or even 2/3 beers or Vodkas.
4- I'm back to dreaming again, or remembering my dreams more likely. Everyone has to dream or they would loose it, just an info for you kids :)
5- An overall comeback to bodily sensations such as sneezing, pee shivering and yawning. The latter only happens when 10-12 or more hours have passed
since the last dose.
6- Lower doses maybe only last from 12 to 15 hours although nothing drastic happens if i waited the whole 24 hrs. Sleeping might be slightly affected
from the timing of my last dose. If for example, i took my 0.2 mg at 2 pm and added 0.1 mg at midnight, i'll have a deeper sleep than without adding the 0.1.
Deeper, longer sleep is better or not depends on each person and what do they want from life at the moment. Personally, i enjoyed the deep and long
for too many years and i think it's time for some normality.


I hope those few lines would be useful, to me included.
Once again and after more than 1 full year of sobriety, i'm saying it to all of you loud and clear: If i was able to beat a 10-year-old Heroin addiction,
anybody is capable of doing anything. If there's a will, there's a way. I'v got to thank Mr and Mrs. Bupes for making it all happen.

Keep up the progress boys and girls, and share it with us on here. It's therapeutic to get it all out.
 
Last edited:
Hmmm....Is it that dead here?

Well, i'm not giving up on you, my dear Progress thread nor you too kids :D


Lately i was able to get hash a few times, miam. So after 1 full year of only greens, me and hash are reunited.
I have been daily smoking hash since 1999 as the weed got very seedy and wasn't even around me. I don't smoke cigarettes
and with the Heroin, Hash felt like a really smooth supplement. Oh so this was my 1st time in almost 8 years to smoke it without
being high on H and i really felt its beauty. The guy got 2 different kinds on 2 occasions, the 1st was opium-like-sticky and
didn't need to be heated. The 2nd was a little harder and had a different smell, and a little weaker.

I realized that it triggers something in my mind, probably because of that marriage that lasted for years between the the 2 H's,
they were the only drugs i did for years. Anyways, both times if i overdo, i get a familiar headache that doesn't leave me
until sleep. So i made it a special treat, maybe twice a day, definitely one after dinner and never right before as there's no point
to smoke and eat because you simply sober up to some extent.


One day those past few months when i wasn't very much active on here, i got an email notification that i received a private
message on Bluelight from a greenlighter asking me to make a new account somewhere because he wants to ask me something.
Hm, replied that whatever it is, he can ask me right here. He then said: "i don't want to get kicked out and blabla"....Ok.
I honestly wasn't gonna give it any importance then said what the heck and maybe the next day emailed him on the address
he gave me. He's from Europe and telling me that "his guy" can't be found and asking me if i know what to do!!! He excused his English
but that's really all i understood. 1st of all, Mr. Greenlighter whoever you may be.

1-Why private message ME out of the blue and we never even interacted?!
2-What do u mean by "your guy"?
3-I'm in Canada and you're in Europe! So i seriously don't get why was i the chosen one, on many levels!


Of course, i didn't even reply and deleted the whole account.

Now that i'm writing those questions, i remembered an old thread where we wrote the drugs we did in each country we were able to score from,
if im not mistaken. And since i have written over 5 different countries, then maybe he thought that i'm Mr. International
Man of Mystery who has contacts all over the world, AND who will simply give them out to a greenlighter i never knew existed because
he asked me to. Yeah right.

Anyways, on my last 8 mg pill and it should last for more than a month. I hope i can make it last that long so my exit plan goes seamless. It will be the 1st time i'm totally sober in.....8, 9 years and I know well it's about time. Wish me luck, whoever is reading my rambling and remember if i can do this, so can you.
Stay positivo :D

Later
 
He had probably just reached his 50-needed posts. Funny how you left all my above rambling and commented on this teeny tiny bit :)

Cheers.

Any news from Cap H?!
 
Ok, so it's probably my last week or 10 days max with the last 1 mg of Subutex i have at the moment.
Right now it's been 30 hours since yesterday's 0.1 mg dose, and ready to dose today. Trying to make the
time between doses longer everyday and it's working well. Remembering what my psychiatrist cousin who
always talked about urges as they are all in the mind and that they only last for minutes, get yourself
busy is what he always said, even to my mother who wanted to quit cigarettes and was able to at the end.
I also remember a friend who, back in the H days went to N.A and his sponsor told him once on the phone
to go clean his shoes when he was fighting his own urges, and again it worked. A Yoga teacher i once spoke to
told me not to concentrate on the things that bother me, because the mind will shift its attention wherever you
lead it. I'm nowhere near these same cases anymore and actually have been slightly withdrawing since i went down
to 0.1. It makes the whole bye bye kiss more tolerable, i'm sure.

Looking back now at my opiated life the last 10/11 years, i do believe it's enough and i remember this special
quote from the movie Lord Of War: "If you fight your biology, you'll never win." It was about Cage's brother
who was into mountains of coke.

I'm a tiny bit more edgy, with gf. mostly but i know it's normal, and thank God she knows it too and has been tolerating my
mood swings. Not really mood swings to be honest because they don't last, but lashing more likely. I was much more than edgy
sometimes for years before but life went on. I have to remind myself of all the good that will come with total sobriety.
Again, my total sobriety means weed/hash and the occasional drinks.

Hehe, as i'm writing those lines now, i remembered the one and only doctor i went to see when i was mid my Heroin phase.
Of course, i had to take a big line before going in (how the hell am i supposed to talk to him freely and tell my story? No way
while withdrawing......that was my thinking back then) and after listening to my long list of drugs taken, he said: "Well i'm not
supposed to tell you this, but do anything else other than opiates" Hmmm, now that i know for sure than Benzos addictions are
even worse and life threatening, i think he only said that addressing my case because i simply told him that i did all kinds of drugs and
was ok and life went on, until i reached Heroin. Well, years later my Sub Dr. told me: "I don't want to give you ideas, but with Subs,
some people take their D.O.C in the weekends and their subs during the week!" I mean, was that necessary Mr. Witch Doctor?!
I know very well what you're saying because i have been doing that for some time now and that's why i had to relocate.
Being surrounded by my dealers and having Subs with me, i would most definitely go score Heroin and keep the Subs for later.

My dealer's phone was unusually off one morning, so I decided to take 2 or 3 mg of Subs to feel a little better, i was still doing
them sub-lingual at the time and then she picked up. I automatically went straight back to the bathroom and shoved my finger in my
throat and got the small chunk out and went down to score in a matter of seconds! Addiction includes many aspects other than
just consuming the drug. Ever notice that your W.D's almost disappear when you made your call and heading to the dealer?
The Psychological part is soooo strong and visible that we don't really think about it.


Cherish life and your sober senses

Stay aware
 
Last edited:
Today from 8 am to 2:45 P.m, i have probably peed over 14 times....Christal white pee. Last 0.1 dose was yesterday at 6 p.m with 0.4 maximum left
(including the residue in the plastic straw)

Keeping Mirtazapine (Remeron) with me as my only aide during the next few (wish i could say days, but they will probably be weeks)

By lowering my dose for the past 2 weeks to 0.1, im doing the best i can to make the whole process go seamless.

Wish me luck bitches :D
 
^^^Wooohooo. Great for you, congrats man. Where u always a Mod? I don't think so, congrats for that as well.


Last night i woke from 4 to 5:15 a.m, took 1/2 of a 30 mg Remeron pill, a couple of puffs and slept till now. Not bad at all, for a beginning.
A few weeks, i wanted to try the Remeron I'v got because they were expired and slept for almost 14 hours, so took only half and here i am.

Will keep updating, i need it now more than ever.

Cheers
 
Remeron was OK for me when I tried it. I've realized that, of course, the best sleep comes without drugs, but have been using benzos only once or twice a week and they are always effective, plus I am keeping my tolerance at bay.
One thing that really helped me was taking supplements and vitamins, as unlikely as that sounds.
 
I don't want to go to new doctors and it just happened that the only thing i have at the moment is the Remeron, prescribed by some doc
i went to see only once mid my dependence years ago. I'm in the same boat in realizing that the best sleep, eating and sex is in fact without drugs.
I will just use it wisely the next while to cure sleeplessness this next coming period since i'v been on it for 13.5 months but have tapered down to almost 0.1 mg /day for the last 2 weeks and 0.2 for 2 weeks before that. If you don't mind, can you briefly share your experience with quitting Subs. How long have you taken it?
what your last dose and how long did you stay on it before quitting all together? and finally, what supplements and vitamins do you recommend?

I was always into vitamins when younger but then maybe in a frenzy of self destruction, convinced myself that they won't really affect me as long
as i'm opiated everyday. For years and years, i haven't even taken the common Tylenol whenever i rarely got headaches, linking it to withdrawing or even
the Subs. My witch Dr. told me about Vitamin D and Omega III, along with my daily Centrum and i have been religiously taking them since.

I know it's all over Bluelight, but i'm interested to hear it from you personally.

Thanx for taking the time to check on this lonesome thread and replying to me.

Hanging on and excited
 
Last edited:
4th day without anything. 30 mg Remeron before bed and that's that. Did a lot of jogging and embracing life.
 
This thread needs to get some lovin', I remember everyone (almost) would post here after the social closed and we would all talk about w/d's and what not.. i didn't even notice C.H. wasnt a mod anymore, just noticed his lack of presence. I gotta pay closer attention, positions have changed so much lately people that i didn'even know before a Mods and S Mods now..

Well since i last posted in here back in the day..i have gottten off my 10mg phenazepam and 5mg clonazepam addictions and off my low dose suboxone treatment and just finished up my last court case today.. i feel great and i hope people will use this thread like it used to be and everyone can get to know each other better therefore help eachother out more.. other than that.. im on here all the time, i'm just "invisible" lol.
Hope everyones doin as good as me (or better!)
-HOOD
%)


EDIT: Thought i should add the reason i stopped posting all the time is because i got sober and had nothing to talk about and didn't want to incriminate myself with my pending court case in case they knew my username.. so now im just realizing since i don't talk about getting high anymore, maybe i can help people who are struggling with their sobriety,, i donno might be a dumb idea, i was never too good with advice hence the reason i never really wanted to Moderate the forum when the chances came. anywayzzz..
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top