• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!
  • MDMA Moderators: Esperighanto

producing and MDMA

Z

zoniksku

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2014
Messages
26
Location
australia
so swim has found even after booze, MDMA, any drug I prefer to actually be by myself, with headphones. I studied audio engineering at uni and now SWIM can't stand to be around other people. Swim prefers to take substances (benzons to amphet) alone. Not only does swim work better with music but swim enjoys the solo trip. even 500mg of acid. makes swim feel like god alone. swims brain can work to the potential and feel everything. audio(especially) swim takes valium 3 times daily. but booze and benzos makes swim a true person. i feel like a turtle.....

is this depression?


the reams wim comes out the person they transform into is amazing. otherwise swim is a dead soul. Swim has a very high IQ.


200mg of MDMA over a 12 hours + 3 bottles of wine. swim feels like thier real self.
 
This sounds like introversion and drug addiction. Now, my lifestyle is quite similar to yours. I am highly introverted and I'm almost never happier than when I'm working at home alone (or in my spacious, empty lab) and listening to some good music (I'm a graduate student). I think introversion itself, even deep introversion, is not a bad thing.

Now, that said, I like socializing too. I would even say that I need it to stay healthy! At the same time, being around people drains my energy and I can only do so much of it. I've found that just a few hours a week is enough to keep me satisfied without feeling exhausted, and I have a couple of friends who I talk to regularly online as well.

I also use drugs on a daily basis (Cannabis and caffeine). I'm pretty satisfied with my life right now, so I think introversion and drug use together can be a sustainable lifestyle. In fact, it's what I prefer.

That said, I think we need to defer to old wisdom about the benefits of moderation. I think the extreme introversion and heavy poly-drug use that you describe are dangerous together. If you feel like producing is making you happy and fulfilled, then you're not depressed, but I think your lifestyle will put you at risk for depression if you don't moderate it a little.

I suggest that you make an effort to see friends occasionally, or find a way to make one or two new ones. Cut back on your drug use, by taking lower doses and using them less often. If you feel like making these changes on your own will be difficult, find a therapist to help you.

Clearly you're smart, so I'm sure you can see the wisdom of this advice. The health effects of alcohol abuse alone are more than enough to warrant making a change. Best of luck.
 
The introversion i completely agree and the drug addiction well... I've known for years that i am, especially when it comes to benzos.

Molly i only use occasionally as the hangovers and neurotoxcicity is something that i really don't want.

I feel the same way when it comes to socializing too. I find even after talking to my housemate for 5 minutes my brain starts to hurt and i goto my room. I goto work and come home, i do have friends i see occasionally, and others i speak to online. I am quite content with being alone, in fact in most cases i generally will seek my own time. I love to studying science, ill find i will eat a few valium or something and end up studying fission reactors or pharmacology which is a big hobby of mine.

I'd love to have a full conversation with you maybe in private through email or something? There's something about what you described that tickled the back of my brain that hasnt been touched in a long time.

I work as a chef, but this is just some menial task to me that covers my bills. Everytime i go back to uni i find that after a year or 2 of study that i get bored easily, I learn fast (which im assuming you do too).

Anyways. this is probably the wrong section of the forum to be discussing this.
 
so yet again, im here after convincing myself this week i would go on another bender. so 100% these caps are MDA, i didn't do the aniseed test like i used todo. its more of an ice rush, which i hate. i used to make caps a few months ago. a cut of 75mg with creatine and noopept as a neuroprotective agent and a sub digestive agent. I would yield massive experiences as would my friends from the psychopharmacology of the drugs administered.

at the moment i just feel like psychoacoustics are a rush, norma formulated mechanics are a pressure, and the world is a fast paced environment which is a typical sublinguest of MDA or other salts.

Kind of sucks, i miss pure molly, this shit just makes you a zombie for the next 24 hours, i never take MDMA in a dose larger than 10mg, i dose multiple times an hour, with follow ups throughout the night, otherwise i end up a psychotic killer the next morning ªmy brain feels, not real life ((DD archetype-psychopathy).... ).

the best experience of my life is on 2 points of methamphetamine with 4 points of MDMA pure. ill never forget those 4 days.

i feel bad for everyone else who gets these shity bath salts, thinking this is "real MDMA", i won't continue from here on out my transactions. im not responsible for anyone who wants to die of this shit. If only we could produce trees as fast as we destroy them for the drug. life would be grand. everyone is seeking some sort of reception of their lives. no matter who. god is a daemon. think about it... action without reaction...
 
only thing that sucks is amongst certain communities is ZONIKSKU is known as name "zonked out of your skull" "Benzo hole" i will delete this forum within 14 dayz for legalities and general anxiety trust shit.
 
you should get some professional help, the drug mixes you do aren't helping, your brain will just go deeper.
 
after 3 rolling experiences with this substance, its a cross between an MD analog, methamphetamine and a RC. i will no longer be dosing from this client. Ive done testing before and the over heating effects to this substances prove to me that its dangerous, with a extended half life, you could die. i suggest anyone who takes red and black caps from the QLD gold coast region not take a large dose and not for an extended period of time. Hangover is a bitch too
 
zoniksku said:
so swim has found even after booze, MDMA, any drug I prefer to actually be by myself, with headphones. I studied audio engineering at uni and now SWIM can't stand to be around other people. Swim prefers to take substances (benzons to amphet) alone. Not only does swim work better with music but swim enjoys the solo trip. even 500mg of acid. makes swim feel like god alone. swims brain can work to the potential and feel everything. audio(especially) swim takes valium 3 times daily. but booze and benzos makes swim a true person. i feel like a turtle.....

is this depression?


the reams wim comes out the person they transform into is amazing. otherwise swim is a dead soul. Swim has a very high IQ.


200mg of MDMA over a 12 hours + 3 bottles of wine. swim feels like thier real self.
Click to expand...

You sound exactly like me; I love tripping alone with some music and there's really nothing wrong with that especially if you're being productive. I produce as well although my problem is its hard to be high and work on my program cause it's real cumbersome.

I will say that a daily benzo habit isn't something I'd mess with though. It's also not the best idea to combine with alcohol in high doses.
 
Why do you think you're depressed?

Are you feeling sad? Lonely? Find yourself crying sometimes? Have a negative view of yourself and the world? Do you ever think about suicide? Or harming others?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top