Though difficult to admit I have a real problem with PE and I want to know if there is any help we can get. i am married to a great girl for a long time and before I die I would love to experience her having an orgasm instead of me! I come within seconds of penetration and it is upsetting for both of us. For that reason sex is not an everyday habit and that puts more preasure each time - I have started using the generic version of viagra and it seemed to help a little but to be honest, not much. Is it the right drug? if I double the dose, will that help? When used so far it has been with a lot of alcohol_ does that negate the effect of viagra? Is there anything else I can do?
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
premature ejaculation PE help
- Thread starter rjdof123
- Start date
Shit it looks bad when you put it like that - not never - but a long time !!!! Maybe I am not adventurous enough _ maybe she is not adventurous enough! I do go down on her about half the Times we have sex and sometimes that works well for her but I am not sure she orgasms - not for some time anyyway / years!!! Hurts admitting it but even after such a long time we are not open enough with each other to discuss her needs / her orgasms - she doesn't seem to want to. I do and its insecurity stopping me. Jez this seems like therapy!! What is a SSRI?
You are making sex into a high-stress mystery with negative associations!
A medication may help, but you should try addressing some of the underlying issues first.
Part of getting comfortable with sex and gaining your confidence and control, is going to involve working with your partner, and finding out how to please her. How she likes to be touched, how she likes to receive oral sex. A wand sex-toy might be a good idea as well.
Try some slow, mutually enjoyable, pressure-free sex, with some exploration where you both are enjoying the journey and not just the destination.
Believe it or not, most guys come fast at some point (usually the beginning) of their sexual experiences, but then it settles down with practice.
A medication may help, but you should try addressing some of the underlying issues first.
Part of getting comfortable with sex and gaining your confidence and control, is going to involve working with your partner, and finding out how to please her. How she likes to be touched, how she likes to receive oral sex. A wand sex-toy might be a good idea as well.
Try some slow, mutually enjoyable, pressure-free sex, with some exploration where you both are enjoying the journey and not just the destination.
Believe it or not, most guys come fast at some point (usually the beginning) of their sexual experiences, but then it settles down with practice.
You need to communicate. Ask her what she wants and how she feels. Ejaculating doesn't mean your hands and your mouth stops working. Some guys come early, it's just how it is. I don't think it needs to be that big a deal as long as both people get pleasure somehow.
SSRIs are usually prescribed for depression and anxiety, but sexual dysfunction is a common side effect, so they are sometimes prescribed for PE. The effect can range from total loss of interest in sex to mildly extending how long you last, depending on the drug and the dose. They have a range of other negative side effects, though.
SSRIs are usually prescribed for depression and anxiety, but sexual dysfunction is a common side effect, so they are sometimes prescribed for PE. The effect can range from total loss of interest in sex to mildly extending how long you last, depending on the drug and the dose. They have a range of other negative side effects, though.
Thanks
Sensible stuff -it's getting over the embarrassment and inhibition that is difficult. She has said she likes oral sex but often redirects me to kissing and entering her in the heat of the moment. We just don't talk about it and at the time is not the time. Then I enter her - then I come - and it is over too fast... I would usually like to try again but she is often the one who rolls over and stops. I feel she prioitises sleep over sex and I am not confident enough to bring her back. This is of course reflective of poor performance by me and I have to take responsibility reluctantly for that. Possibly oral sex at that stage (after I have come) would work - but it just seems wrong and messy (after sex) and she doesn't seem interested. I love giving oral sex and would love to take her to orgasm with oral or normal and would love getting oral sex but given the foregoing you will understand that I just don't get it and I can't argue as I don't feel I deserve it.
Sorry for being a little niaive but what exactly is a wand sex toy as suggested ?
Sensible stuff -it's getting over the embarrassment and inhibition that is difficult. She has said she likes oral sex but often redirects me to kissing and entering her in the heat of the moment. We just don't talk about it and at the time is not the time. Then I enter her - then I come - and it is over too fast... I would usually like to try again but she is often the one who rolls over and stops. I feel she prioitises sleep over sex and I am not confident enough to bring her back. This is of course reflective of poor performance by me and I have to take responsibility reluctantly for that. Possibly oral sex at that stage (after I have come) would work - but it just seems wrong and messy (after sex) and she doesn't seem interested. I love giving oral sex and would love to take her to orgasm with oral or normal and would love getting oral sex but given the foregoing you will understand that I just don't get it and I can't argue as I don't feel I deserve it.
Sorry for being a little niaive but what exactly is a wand sex toy as suggested ?
it's like the most awesome vibrator toy that lots of girls love to massage their clits with.
It can "teach" a sexually inexperienced girl how to get off easier, it can also give you some cues as to what she likes in terms of clit stimulation. Can be used by her or you while you are doing foreplay or even while making love.
the one in the pic below looks like it may be the hitachi brand "magic wand" pretty easy to find online:
NSFW:
Thanks
What I've learned from this experience (viagra / this forum) is as follows
1. honest and open communication is difficult but essential
2. Viagra (sideanfil) is useless for premature ejaculation
3. There are other drugs (ssri) which will reduce the sexual feelings and might help but could have other negative side effects
4. A wand vibrator would give her pleasure (probably orgasm) if she would use it.
All helpful advice thanks
Back to the drawing board
What I've learned from this experience (viagra / this forum) is as follows
1. honest and open communication is difficult but essential
2. Viagra (sideanfil) is useless for premature ejaculation
3. There are other drugs (ssri) which will reduce the sexual feelings and might help but could have other negative side effects
4. A wand vibrator would give her pleasure (probably orgasm) if she would use it.
All helpful advice thanks
Back to the drawing board
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
I think you got it quite right!!
you have to have a real good look at things and try to evaluate your performance objectively. if indeed you ejaculate within a few seconds of penetration than you may have an actual medical condition and there are professionals to help you with that.
viagra is not a good choice of drug for this.
i would suggest getting professional help, as they can guide both the psychological and the medical progam for this condition.
but please dont stress too much. she is married to you after all so she must already care a lot about you for other reasons. having her as an understanding partner is a GREAT step to help you work this thing out.
good luck man!
ps. try not to resort to drugs to fix this as it is a slippery slope you dont want to be on.
rickolasnice
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2007
- Messages
- 6,810
This.
It is sometimes prescribed off label for PE.
The negative side affects (including loss of sex drive) is minimal (if at all) when taking them sparingly..
《Plasticity》
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2013
- Messages
- 3,115
Can you not go for two rounds? Just make sure to use a condom the second time around if your wife isn't on birth control. I know some are built to fire once but if you can get It up after round 1, round 2 lasts quite a bit longer and it's a tactic I used quite frequently in middle/high school.
Girls were typically amazed at my desire to go above and beyond to satisfy their needs, though that's not to say sex isn't great for me the second time around
. Give it a shot before seeking external medications, eventually a second round wasn't needed in my case.
Girls were typically amazed at my desire to go above and beyond to satisfy their needs, though that's not to say sex isn't great for me the second time around
. Give it a shot before seeking external medications, eventually a second round wasn't needed in my case.