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distAnTKarmA said:
Yeah, it does help a bit. I have been taking it regularly for a little bit. My stomach issues aren't completely gone, but they are at least close to bearable. And yeah, I've been through the worst of that condition, so know all about the fight for your life every couple days, its horrible.

The Psyllium husk isn't going to immediately clean up a backlog like miralax or something, but it is a lot better for you in the long run.
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Long run. You are almost treading, on bad pun territory. However thank you. That issue is the one miserable side effect that can really get me down in the dumps. Haha, sorry just woke up and couldn't resist. I know really awful pun. 😖 glad I didn't self destruction the other day from the pain that accompanied it, and I did actually read through Hedberg's jokes on A to Z quotes. I remember seeing him a long time ago on Comedy Central. He was a great talent and kind of in his own category as a stand up comic. Too bad he died young, apparently of a drug overdose in New Jersey of all places( Hotel room) at least according to the always correct and infallible Wikipedia. 🤣

Seriously though even with his drug references, sad he didn't live to be old, he was able to what only the best comedians of today can't usually do; actually have clean jokes that are hilarious. He was like Wright in a way, in that he was in a self carved out nichè of his own. Or something like that, you get my drift. He also never really got to explode on the Comedic landscape, which he was approaching before his untimely death, in New Jersey of all places. Somehow that just makes it sadder. I wondered years ago what happened to him after I remembered watching him on TV a long time ago. 😢
 
distAnTKarmA said:
Yeah, it does help a bit. I have been taking it regularly for a little bit. My stomach issues aren't completely gone, but they are at least close to bearable. And yeah, I've been through the worst of that condition, so know all about the fight for your life every couple days, its horrible.

The Psyllium husk isn't going to immediately clean up a backlog like miralax or something, but it is a lot better for you in the long run.
Click to expand...
Long run. You are almost treading, on bad pun territory. However thank you. That issue is the one miserable side effect that can really get me down in the dumps. Haha, sorry just woke up and couldn't resist. I know really awful pun. 😖 glad I didn't self destruction the other day from the pain that accompanied it, and I did actually read through Hedberg's jokes on A to Z quotes. I remember seeing him a long time ago on Comedy Central. He was a great talent and kind of in his own category as a stand up comic. Too bad he died young, apparently of a drug overdose in New Jersey of all places( Hotel room) at least according to the always correct and infallible Wikipedia. 🤣

Seriously though even with his drug references, sad he didn't live to be old, he was able to what only the best comedians of today can't usually do; actually have clean jokes that are hilarious. He was like Wright in a way, in that he was in a self carved out nichè of his own. Or something like that, you get my drift. He also never really got to explode on the Comedic landscape, which he was approaching before his untimely death, in New Jersey of all places. Somehow that just makes it sadder. I wondered years ago what happened to him after I remembered watching him on TV a long time ago. 😢
 
kiely said:
rJxoZbP.png
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I am not sure they quoted it in the proper context.

On a different note ( bad pun) Piece of Mind is I.M.'s best album imo. Listen to flight of Icarus; and the rest of the album is solid also but Flight of Icarus is their best song in my opinion.
Not a hugh fan, like I am of Metallica's first albums, especially love and almost obsessed with and especially love the song Fade To Black. It spoke to me when I was going through rough times.
Seeing, my mom and little sister in body bags leaving the house I now own. And seeing my dad dead after a coma. I was their till almost the end in hospice, went home at about 4 am and caught a few 😴 came back 2 to 3 hours later and he was gone. Then right after that; being the last one in my immediate family left standing, I had a legal( civil, estate bs and accounting bs too handle which I was ill prepared for). 🥹
 
Jnowhere said:
Long run. You are almost treading, on bad pun territory. However thank you. That issue is the one miserable side effect that can really get me down in the dumps. Haha, sorry just woke up and couldn't resist. I know really awful pun. 😖 glad I didn't self destruction the other day from the pain that accompanied it, and I did actually read through Hedberg's jokes on A to Z quotes. I remember seeing him a long time ago on Comedy Central. He was a great talent and kind of in his own category as a stand up comic. Too bad he died young, apparently of a drug overdose in New Jersey of all places( Hotel room) at least according to the always correct and infallible Wikipedia. 🤣

Seriously though even with his drug references, sad he didn't live to be old, he was able to what only the best comedians of today can't usually do; actually have clean jokes that are hilarious. He was like Wright in a way, in that he was in a self carved out nichè of his own. Or something like that, you get my drift. He also never really got to explode on the Comedic landscape, which he was approaching before his untimely death, in New Jersey of all places. Somehow that just makes it sadder. I wondered years ago what happened to him after I remembered watching him on TV a long time ago. 😢
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Yeah, Hedburg was a true original for sure. Just a goofy ass clever guy. Yeah I mean in hindsight you can kinda tell that he had a coke problem.

He was truly a man after my own enlarged and necrotic heart.
 
The History of One Tough Motherfucker

-Charles Bukowski

He came to the door one night wet thin beaten and
terrorized

a white cross-eyed tailless cat
I took him in and fed him and he stayed
grew to trust me until a friend drove up the driveway
and ran him over

I took what was left to a vet who said,"not much
chance…give him these pills…his backbone
is crushed, but is was crushed before and somehow
mended, if he lives he'll never walk, look at
these x-rays, he's been shot, look here, the pellets
are still there…also, he once had a tail, somebody
cut it off…"

I took the cat back, it was a hot summer, one of the
hottest in decades, I put him on the bathroom
floor, gave him water and pills, he wouldn't eat, he
wouldn't touch the water, I dipped my finger into it
and wet his mouth and I talked to him, I didn't go any-
where, I put in a lot of bathroom time and talked to
him and gently touched him and he looked back at
me with those pale blue crossed eyes and as the days went
by he made his first move

dragging himself forward by his front legs
(the rear ones wouldn't work)
he made it to the litter box
crawled over and in,
it was like the trumpet of possible victory
blowing in that bathroom and into the city, I
related to that cat-I'd had it bad, not that
bad but bad enough

one morning he got up, stood up, fell back down and
just looked at me.
"you can make it," I said to him.
he kept trying, getting up falling down, finally
he walked a few steps, he was like a drunk, the
rear legs just didn't want to do it and he fell again, rested,
then got up.

you know the rest: now he's better than ever, cross-eyed
almost toothless, but the grace is back, and that look in
his eyes never left…
and now sometimes I'm interviewed, they want to hear about
life and literature and I get drunk and hold up my cross-eyed,
shot, runover de-tailed cat and I say,"look, look
at this!"
but they don't understand, they say something like,"you
say you've been influenced by Celine?"
"no," I hold the cat up,"by what happens, by
things like this, by this, by this!"
I shake the cat, hold him up in
the smoky and drunken light, he's relaxed he knows…
it's then that the interviews end
although I am proud sometimes when I see the pictures
later and there I am and there is the cat and we are photo-
graphed together.
he too knows it's bullshit but that somehow it all helps.
 
brokedownpalace10 said:
"Fuck it all"
Lenny Bruce
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My favorite Lenny Bruce quote is:
"Take away the right to say Fuck, you take away the right to say: Fuck the Government."

I paraphrased it into a Haiku:

Banning the word Fuck,​
Is banning the right to say:​
Fuck the Government.​
 
Hannah Capps said:

“The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye; the story of love is hello and goodbye; until we meet again.” Jimmy Hendrix​

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Forgot what a poet he was.

What shall we say, shall we call it by a name
As well to count the angels dancing on a pin
Water bright as the sky from which it came
And the name is on the earth that takes it in
We will not speak but stand inside the rain
And listen to the thunder shout
I am, I am, I am, I am
Grateful Dead

Combine actual poetry with good music and you have magic
 
Unshart My Fart [AKA the original version of Unbreak my Heart that Toni Braxton scrapped because she deemed it too emotionally moving]

Something just ain't sitting right
I should have just called it a night
Instead of crop-dusting the place
With my funky booty stink
Thought it was fine
I gave it time
To waft the smell away
Then I let one rip that got me real messy

Unshart my fart
Make my drawers clean again
Undo this stench
From my trench
That I tried to keep clenched
All up in my hole
My flatulency
Is mixed with wet feces
Unshart my fart
(my heart, fart)

Toilet paper won't suffice
I need a bidet in my life
Pass me some towels
'Cause my bowels
Can't be trusted not to leak
My gassy ass
It vents so fast
From farts to something worse
There's something dark
And skid-marked
In my undies

Unshart my fart
Make my drawers clean again
Undo this stench
From my trench
That I tried to keep clenched
All up in my hole
My flatulency
Is mixed with wet feces
Unshart my fart
(myyyy farrrrrrrrrttt)

Swamp-assed as squishy as hell
Plus, there's a rotten egg smell
Uh-oh, I think that it's dripping down my leg

Unshart my fart
Make my drawers clean again
Undo this stench
From my trench
That I tried to keep clenched
All up in my hole
My flatulency
Is mixed with wet kinda chunks, soaked in feces
Unshart my -
Unshart my fart, oh maybe
Chipotle guts gone crazy
Unshart my fart, what the fuck?
I don't even remember eating corn
Sweetcorn
I'm talkin' 'bout corn
I ate some corn, like last week
It's still in my intestines
I'm never eating chilli
I don't even remember eating corn!
 
From Osama: The Musical

I passed you on the phone each morning
I always gave a cheery smile
But you, you never even saw me
You were far too busy all the while

Once, I was a lonely banker
All I cared for were margins and accounts
I dreamed, of dow-jones and the FTSE
I never saw my credit running out

Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
And now I know how I feel

I'd bring you coffee and a bagel
But you never had the time for me
I dreamed, that one day you'd say "hey, girl,
That bagel's mighty fine, it's plain to see"

Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
And you know how I feel

Just time to say the things I must
Before my hopes all turn to dust
Now nothing seems to matter
And every word is true
When I say I'm blown away
With you
Then came the day
You blew me away
(Osama blew them away)
What can I say?
You blew me away
Now I'm falling
We're falling
In love

Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
Then came the day Osama blew us away
(Osama blew them away)
 
To reward merit is to stir up emulation; to prize rarities is to encourage robbery; to display desirable things is to excite the disorder of covetousness.

Therefore, the sage governeth men by keeping their minds and their bodies at rest, contenting the one by emptiness, the other by fullness. He satisfieth their desires, thus fulfilling their wills, and making them frictionless; and he maketh them strong in body, to a similar end.

He delivereth them from the restlessness of knowledge and the cravings of discontent. As to those who have knowledge already, he teacheth them the way of non-action. This being assured, there is no disorder in the world.

Aleister Crowley's translation/version of the 3rd chapter of Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching
 
So Nice, So Smart

I was quiet as a mouse
When I snuck into your house
And took roofies with your spouse
In a nit and out a louse
Lice are lousy all the time
Drink your blood and steal your wine
Say "Shut up and quit your cryin'
Give it time and you'll be fine"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend I have to break your heart
I'll tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like boys with strong convictions
And convicts with perfect diction
Underdogs with good intentions
Amputees with stamp collection
Plyboard, seaboard, cross the ocean
Salty noses, suntan lotion
Always seriously jokin'
And rambunctiously soft-spoken
I like boys who love their mothers
And I have a thing for the brothers
But they always wait 'til we're under the cover
To say "I'm so glad we're not lovers"

You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend I have to break your heart
I'll tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart

I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
I like my new bunny suit
When I wear it I feel cute
 
A Lacefront Like This (A Moment LIke This, but with wigs...it's technically an ad for wigs by vanity, but whatever)

What if I told you it was virgin Remy?
Permatease realness, would you touch it to see?
It's 22 inches, how is she, though?
So tell me that you don't think I'm shady
When I tell you that you can't try her on

A lacefront like this
Some queens will ho a lifetime
For a lacefront like this
Some fag still owe's his landlord
For that one special wig
Oh, you best believe it Wigs By Vanity
Some give like fifty blowjobs
(sure, SOME do)
For a lacefront like this

Quality ranges, but you still can slay
Rock your old faithful, a cheap wig with spray
But I need them units with that good old lace
Not too close, girl, just a little nearer
Bitch could never clock my hairline from there

A lacefront like this
Some queen just sold a kidney
For a lacefront like this
Some straight guy's been bamboozled
By the unspookability
Oh, you best believe it's Wigs By Vanity
I got on sugarmodels
(dot com)
For a lacefront, like this

Could this be the fiercest wig of all?
It's full as fuck and some Malaysian bitch is bald
Don't get it twisted, sis
Travolta would come out for
A lacefront, like this
They mobbed a booth at drag con
For a lacefront like this
They stole Pandora's camera
For that one special wig
You heard me, girl, it's Wigs By Vanity
Some bottom's topping Courtney
For a lacefront like this
 
This is the hand you were dealt
Use it to swing out or strangle yourself
Use it to rip away realms of existence or use it to build them
Candles that melt into blackness
Flicker in the midnight madness
You ain't gonna see that road to Damascus
Live amongst humans or live amongst actors
Your choice, they've got this whole ship backwards
 
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