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post-MDMA/alco binge problems :(

After 4 days I think I am now going to quit Bupropion (Wellbutrin).
I basically nearly had a panic attack earlier while in the queue at the post office to get road tax for my car that I'm selling (sold today actually). My heart was racing and thumping as it came close to my turn. I thought they might query why the insurance form gave one address (where I actually live, and where the car lives), but the owners documents etc. gave another (which is my family address where I lived until February, and I still have most of my stuff registered at). There's nothing bad about that, and it's most important that the insurance is for the address where the car is kept and used from, but still, I had a guilty panic feeling. There was a huge queue as well. I might have got this way even without the fear/doubt in my head. Also the insurance form said "Mazda RX7 - 2,600cc", but the registration document said 1,300cc. This is because it's a wankel engine and was registered as 1.3 on import, but the UK usually log them as 2.6L, and the insurance said 2.6, and well.. all this was going to be a potential lot of drama. Technically it could be that the insurance was for a UK model and that I had an import model, and that this might somehow make the insurance invalid.

It's always been known that Wellbutrin is not good for anxiety, but I hoped the Buspirone + Wellbutrin combination would be effective, and I was certainly finding Burproprion (Wellbutrin) to be activating, but, no..

Also I went out with friends last night and felt sick and weird all night. I am pretty sure this is because I drank a beer just as we were leaving my house. It really does not mix well with alcohol at all. There were a few times when I thought I was going to have to go outside the bar and sit by the road, or get myself a taxi home. I also kept having that feeling that my mind might be playing tricks on me (visually, etc.), which I think was exaccerbated by me only getting a few hours sleep the previous night, again an effect of the Bupropion. After the first beer, I drank fizzy drinks all night, which is *not* like me at all.

On to the Nortriptyline then, which is sometimes used for pain and panic. Just not sure how long to wait before starting. I had a 150mg Buproprion SR yesterday at 6pm. I want to start now.
 
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Started tonight, 10mg. Lots of drink too.

Another 10mg to come in the morning.
 
I do hope tianeptine is safe. There are many abuse stories. I started it today as well.
cope said:
Hi carl0s,

so far tianeptine is very nice, its effect on mood is only taking some days, zero side effects. first days may seem a little weird but you should give it a week.

once you started it i am curious to know if it helps you too.

good luck ! :)
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Tianeptine is helping a lot so far.

It is like Bupropion, but milder. It definitely feels like a dopamine kick, even though most information out there states that it is an SSRE (the only one of its kind). I think this might be a secondary characteristic though, and that it also boosts dopamine with the dopamine effect being that which is felt.
I feel a bit energised, and at the same time a bit over obsessive with some things (computer, etc., staying up even later (I go to bed at 2 - 3am and get up around 9), but overall, very good).

Most importantly, it is helping with the terrible stomach pain (like a stitch in the side) and stomach twitches that I was getting. Some days I was waking up to a pulsing stomach..

I may stop the buspirone soon if tianeptine continues to be helpful, and it has always been my intention to stop pregabalin altogether as well, although I would miss the PE help that it gives.
 
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Hi Carl0s,

sounds good on the tianeptine.

next week i will be on it for 4 weeks.

i think i will order another 3 month supply soon.

i hope it will repair some of the damage x has caused, but that can only be told if its taken for some months and then see how it feels without it.

best of luck!
 
carl0s said:
Tianeptine is helping a lot so far.

It is like Bupropion, but milder. It definitely feels like a dopamine kick, even though most information out there states that it is an SSRE (the only one of its kind). I think this might be a secondary characteristic though, and that it also boosts dopamine with the dopamine effect being that which is felt.
I feel a bit energised, and at the same time a bit over obsessive with some things (computer, etc., staying up even later (I go to bed at 2 - 3am and get up around 9), but overall, very good).

Most importantly, it is helping with the terrible stomach pain (like a stitch in the side) and stomach twitches that I was getting. Some days I was waking up to a pulsing stomach..

I may stop the buspirone soon if tianeptine continues to be helpful, and it has always been my intention to stop pregabalin altogether as well, although I would miss the PE help that it gives.
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any more things to say about tianeptine? im considering this for my cognitive deficits and feeling of deper/dere-alization induced by MDMA or SSRI 3-4 years ago
 
any more things to say about tianeptine? im considering this for my cognitive deficits and feeling of deper/dere-alization induced by MDMA or SSRI 3-4 years ago
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took it for about 3,5 months. i started 5 months after the day my mdma induced brainf*ck began.

while being on it i almost thought i doesn't help much, but after stopping it life came back very fast and almost all my symptoms began to fade away.

for me, it served its purpose.

hope that helps.
 
cope said:
took it for about 3,5 months. i started 5 months after the day my mdma induced brainf*ck began.

while being on it i almost thought i doesn't help much, but after stopping it life came back very fast and almost all my symptoms began to fade away.

for me, it served its purpose.

hope that helps.
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Thats great to hear! I went to a psychiatrist couple of months ago after 3-4 years of waiting, without having my "normal me" back, and the doc diagnosed me ADHD-Inattentive and gave me ritalin.
Ritalin did not do one single thing! i could tell the difference when i was on it... except that i was maybe a bit more chatty.
At the moment im considering either Tianeptine or Valdoxan, both from servier... there is another user on this board that seems to have had goodr esults with Valdoxan, which is good if you have problems sleeping, which i have not (could fall asleep anytime anywhere).
May I ask what were your symptoms after MDMA, in a nutshell? (mine are lack of concentration, motivation, energy, brainfog and a sense of "who cares afterall, its all good, not that important anyway" which is just unreal and prevents me from having the successful , driven life i had before)

Edit:
do you maybe have an own thread where you describe your experience? i cant seem to find...
 
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Last time i had a back comedown it was 1 gram used over 2 nights. And my god did i feel shit i found 5HTP helped me loads in like 20 mins i would start to feel normal and then smoking weed always helps me get out of a negative mindset on a bad come down, I only suffered from zaps for 1 night though.
 
May I ask what were your symptoms after MDMA, in a nutshell? (mine are lack of concentration, motivation, energy, brainfog and a sense of "who cares afterall, its all good, not that important anyway" which is just unreal and prevents me from having the successful , driven life i had before)

Edit:
do you maybe have an own thread where you describe your experience? i cant seem to find...
Click to expand...

*click*

not my own thread, but a more detailed post by me.

after all, tianeptine did it for me, but as i wrote, the improvement was noticeable after i stopped taking it.

keep us posted and best of luck !
 
Tianeptine day 10:
I believe something is actually going on. I dont have precise words to describe it. I can say that it feels very subtle, a process in background. Let's start by saying i have not had any side effects, besides maybe a bit of neck stiffness, but its something i notice either upon waking up or not at all. I had it from both methylphenidate and modafinil.

Some anectodes:
- It might be that some things, beautiful things, stuck me in a more "impressive" way. Sometime its just one color next to another, sometime its a flower, i even tought "wow, this house looks great!".
As i am an illustrator, i noticed i work more calmly and i am happier with the results, sometime. I think "wow, this shape/line looks great". I see this as a positive, as i am ever-unhappy with what i do, recently. This is slightly motivating. Its probably early to tell, as its only day 10, but i can say that the Fluoxetine turned me into a machine when it comes to work. I was so motivated its hard to believe.

-Another thing that i found interesting is how more impulsive i got. I was coming out of work and saw the tram approaching as soon as i turned the corner. The mental process "run/notrun" took half a second and already my legs were moving. Usually I take enough time to think about it that the chances to actually catch the tram drop enough for me to be happy with myself and have an easy decision "waiting the next one". I also seem to be able to speak my mind more care free. Usually i tend to be silent when i dont agree with someone and this creates a growing anger inside me that its difficult to get rid of.

-Another anectode is how i got semi-belligerant with a guy who was trying to hit on my girlfriend. This indeed gave me 10alpha male points which can never hurt, but afterwards i tought: "what the hell did i just do? thats not me!" This is like the second time in my life that something like that happens, as i am totally mellow person. It is funny because I had read a very similar anectode by a Tianeptine user, while the common belief is that tianeptine would make one more "easy going" (i believe its bulls***, as SSRI made me "easy going" and careless)

By the way, the dreaming-a-lot has kind of subdued. I dont dream as much as the first days, or at least i dont remember about it, one of the two. They are not particularly vivid as many believe them to be.

I still have the feeling theres some kind of filter somewhere in my brain that dampens everything, even the tianeptine effects, and i want to get rid of that stupid filter, but dont know how.
 
Side note: Don't use hushmail. They happily share your email and information to authorities who request it... and without a warrant. This started happening a few years ago.
 
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