Post LSD apathy

[mrdocat]

Hello. Really sorry for creating another topic, I know you guys are out of patience, I'll not prolong this, I just want to know if apathy is one of those known problems that can be triggered after tripping and, if yes, if there's a known solution?

I swear I'm trying really hard to deal with the problems I got after that trip and trying to look normal but I noticed that apathy doesn't go away.

Just to clear what I mean with apathy: I've lost pleasure on everything after tripping and I'm completly passive and apathetic after that. I don't take decisions, when talking I just answer what people ask and when going out I just follow them like I've got no opinion, supposely because of my lack of interest. When playing sports, for instance, sometimes I just stop everything and stand there thinking in other things, and it takes some seconds or a friend complaining for me to realize I'm moveless. I'm looking really dumb socially, and it was never like that - I used to be very energetic. I try to look normal but my friends are noticing I'm different. It happens on every kind of activity I do, even chatting. I just suddenly stop paying attention.

 

[DwayneHoover]

see if any of this strikes home:

Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder or HPPD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucinogen_persisting_perception_disorder

It says not only perceptual changes but also depression etc can result. Also that "The atypical antipsychotic Risperidone is reported to worsen symptoms of HPPD during the drug's duration in some people" so its a good thing you followed advice here to not take that when your ignorant doctor gave it to you.

 

[mrdocat]

I don't think I have HPPD. There is nothing notably abnormal with my vision (like floaters). Only strong lights annoy me way more than usual but wearing sunglasses fixed this problem.

But I'm really worried about the apathy as I'm now certain it's not psychologic as it was noticed by people around me when I was just trying to act normally. I wonder if its depression, anxiety, if I just became retarded...

And I don't think my doctor is ignorant, they just didn't teach him such thing on university...

 

[nearjat]

Psychedelics are really, really powerful. Not that you don't know that lol

Things like this WILL happen if you trip, tripping has the power to change you, and it's not always gonna be up to you how or what it changes. If this makes you uncomfortable I'd just stop taking psyches honestly.

I have no plans to trip in the near future because of this combined with exacerbating mental illness.

 

[killermunchies]

It's possible that you have HPPD, but it's more likely you don't. And since there isn't much you can do about HPPD, you don't really have that many options, other than not use any drugs until things get better. If you convince yourself you have HPPD or anything else for that matter, you're just making it worse. This is probably a minor residual hangover with some hypochondriac-like tendencies on your part.

After one time when I rolled twice in a week, I physically felt like shit for a few days and was kinda depressed for a good week or two. However, I knew I was feeling bad because of the drugs I stupidly used, so I just sucked it up and got through it. If I had convinced myself I was depressed and brain damaged, it definitely would have been worse. All I did was try to ignore it and live my life the way I normally would. During times I knew I should be happy, I just pretended to be happy and didn't make a big deal out of it. Eventually, things just went back to normal and have been just fine ever since. You didn't take a bullet to the head. You haven't been abusing meth for the last 5 years. You tripped once on a moderate dose of acid. The odds of you having real brain damage are much lower than the odds of you thinking you have brain damage.

EDIT: Just saw your post where you said you don't think you have HPPD. Still, the rest applies.

 

[mrdocat]

I know, like I said that's what I'm trying to do, to ignore whatever is going on and to live in. But my friends noticed I was numb. So there IS something going on. I just want to know what it is so I can treat myself. Nobody here has any idea? Not even an history to share? Am I alone?

 

[DwayneHoover]

No you are not alone. Yes people here DID share similar experiences. Many have have said they have done a strong dose of whatever, and then ended up feeling "out of sorts" for up toa couple weeks. The cure was just to accept that this can happen with a strong first time dose of LSD, and just suck it up and wait it out while your system readjusts. Try Ginseng and Rhodiola as I suggested. (Rhodiola should be taken on an empty stomach by the way). Ginseng will help with overall readjustment. Rhodiola will give your blood more oxygen and have an anti-depressant effect, as well as possibly providing a mild euphoric feeling which sounds like it would be good for you, sweetheart. Trust me, both these ancient herbal remedies are quite well studied, and have a HUGE amount of medical research behind them and are very effective, not just some newage mumbo-jumbo. I bet they help you feel better, And keep taking B complex and C and Multi with meals.

 

[killermunchies]

I know, like I said that's what I'm trying to do, to ignore whatever is going on and to live in. But my friends noticed I was numb. So there IS something going on. I just want to know what it is so I can treat myself. Nobody here has any idea? Not even an history to share? Am I alone?

I think we all agree that there is something going on. I fully believe that you aren't trying to feel like this. The question is whether what's going on is physical brain damage or psychological stuff. As I've said before, my bet is that it's psychological, and partly due to you worrying about it.

Don't take it the wrong way. I'm not accusing you of whining. If I was in your position, I'd probably be at least a little uneasy too. With the personal example I gave in my last post, I knew that feeling depressed was a common result of too much MDMA in too short of a time. With acid, the after effects vary a lot more. It seems you got the bad end of the stick, for whatever reason it may be. Still, the only cure I know of is just being as healthy as you can both mentally and physically. If you're still like this in a few weeks, you could try talking to a councilor. Also, try to eat healthy. It will help you physically, and it will just make you feel like a healthy person. Take multi vitamins too, in safe amounts of course. It can only help, and even if it doesn't, you'll still feel healthier.

I personally have never heard or read of someone getting permanently screwed up from one reasonable dose of acid. However, I know you're not the first one to think that you've messed up your brain. Just give it a bit of time and keep trying to ignore it as best you can. It's kind of like the nights when you can't fall asleep. The more you think about it, the harder it is to sleep.

 

[DwayneHoover]

Also... EXERCIZE will work wonders. It speeds elimination of toxins from the body, and causes the release of endorphins, nature's "feel good" substance. And the increase in metabolism helps everything normalize. And leads to easier , deeper sleep. Ride an exercise bike or just go jogging to double your heart rate for 20-30minutes per day or every other day. If you are too out of shape to do that, dont force it, just do what you can, taking frequent breaks. But NOTHING is as therapeutic as 20-30 or even 45 minutes of aerobic activity 3-5 times per week, NOTHING. And it will take your mind off the discomfort of your symptoms, and focus it onto your body and the exertion.

So there you go: patience, vitamins, nutrition, adaptogenic herbs, exercise, sleep, positive thinking... how about also lots of your favorite music as well? Know anyone good at massage? Ask for a couple a week till you feel better. Or buy some sessions with a licensed massage therapist. Explain how you feel and what you want to get over and they can tailor it to help... seriously I know someone who does this and they are trained in all sorts of mind/body connection & healing methods. It can be VERY effective... helping open up blocked energy pathways... its real and it WORKS!

You are not going to get any better advise/prescription than all that. So follow it.

 

[mrdocat]

I am totally on shape and I used exercise a lot but I don't fell the runner high I used to feel anymore. Anyway, please, don't worry with me. I'm fine with the issues I got. Seriously. Thanks for the advises, but I'm ok. My only intention here is to figure out what, medically talking, could've happened to me and what can be done about it.

Anyway just wondering... as I have no HPPD, do you think taking risperidone is OK? I've head it can stop trips and I know there's no way I'm still tripping but, who knows? If it doesn't make bad, why not? Could help...

 

[DwayneHoover]

Seems inadvisable. In case you DO have some atypical form of HPPD, which despite your self-diagnosis still seems quite within the range of possibility, it will just make things worse. And NO YOU ARE NOT STILL TRIPPING! And you certainly do not sound psychotic. Why take a powerful psychoactive substance with many side effects when you have ZERO indications for its use? Just because you have it? Dont be stupid.

If you want to "try something" just on the off chance it works, have someone sneak up behind you and whomp you over the head with a big rubber mallet. Perhaps that will cure you.

I agree withn earlier posters that your best bet is some benzodiazepenes (Valium, Xanax, etc).

You are NEVER going to come to any sort of "medical diagnosis" by speculating and posting ton Bluelight, so stop trying. You are just making your self-obsession with your condition worse. Franky, I am about ready to diagnose that the LSD triggered some sort of latent pseudo-psychosis, as in "You just plain gone nuts, Jack" 8) (just kidding... stay away from the risperidone... or, if you think it may really have driven you crazy, what the hell, give it a try, following the doctors directions precisely of course... if things get worse then we will all know it WAS a variant form of HPPD with only mental and no visual effects... you will be even more miserable, but at at least the community will benefit from your experiment.... on second or is it third thought...NO, DONT)

 

[mrdocat]

OK, I see. And I know I won't come to a perfect medical diagnosis but in a forum where everyone is tripping everytime I'd expect someone to at least have some idea of what's going, or at least some similar cases...

 

[killtheego]

I had a similar experience for 5 days after I took MDMA for the first time, and I'm guessing it's much worse and probably will last longer for you, because LSD > MDMA.

My first MDMA trip was filled with hallucinations (which is crazy because you're not supposed to hallucinate on MDMA) and I felt that I had discovered some massive secrets of the universe. The magnitude of the discovery I had made is what kept me from being interested in anything else. Weather the storm, is the only advice I can give you.

 

[Diskordia]

As someone who was on risperidone for a (very) short period of time, I would strongly advise against taking that crap drug. Never in my life have I experienced such complete apathy towards every single aspect of my life. I felt like the walking dead and trying to perform even the most mundane aspects of everyday life caused me both physical and mental stress.

Worst drug experience of my life.

 

[thomas2laylum]

just an observation...

psychedelics take you to a magical heaven

and then back to crappy realities

personally, it's no surprise you feel apathetic

but remember: time heals all

 

[Tunnelfission]

You know... people tout how "addiction-free" psychedelics are, saying it's impossible to become reliant on them... but it is nearly always my urge to have a 2 day binge, never to just dose and finish but when I am done the trip... there is NOTHING more than I would rather be doing than be in awe of those peak experiences and repeating them. Heck near the end of almost every mushroom trip or at the 4 hour come down mark I always nibble more in hopes that i'll get back to some previous states of mind only just experienced.

 

[MonKeYDNA]

just an observation...

psychedelics take you to a magical heaven

and then back to crappy realities

personally, it's no surprise you feel apathetic

but remember: time heals all

Your brain takes you to a magical heaven, and your brain is reality.

To the OP: Starve the ego, increase inquisitive awareness. Shut up that annoying voice in your head, no matter how much it mocks you, and really live through your senses. Of course your still tripping, you've been on a trip since the day you were born! Maybe you feel apathetic now because you realize that it's all good. No matter what happens, it's incredible that you're alive as you are. Have you ever thought about how lucky we are to be the only things in light years that get to experience and discover the very front of time? Amazing...


Time, time, time...

 

[Ismene]

Are you really sure it was anything to do with the trip? It's easy to link it to that because you can always find people eager and willing to blame anything on LSD from having a problem breaking wind to psychosis.

Lots of people feel apathy without ever taking LSD.

 

[pofacedhoe]

lack of pleasure from activities that previously satisfied you is a characteristic of depression.

what you described sounds like how i felt during mild episodes of depression. did you realise anything on this trip that has tainted your views on life?

it sounds like life is less satisfying than it used to be and that is pretty much the one thing i have noticed about depression. maybe you need to talk to a counsellor and describe how you feel without mentioning the trip (unless you want another respiridone prescription). avoid antidepressants (addictive and often unhelpfull) as in my experience mild depression lifts of its own accord but improved diet and excercise are number one in helping.

think about it logically, tripping can leave you with a manic afterglow so surely it can leave you with a new depressive overall vibe.

 

[abore]

Just a link to some people's experience with risperdol.

http://www.imminst.org/forum/topic/17058-risperdal-destroyed-my-life/page__st__30

Personally, while I was on it I gained a lot of weight (I blame myself, not the drug, but the drug it felt like is the reason I didn't care that I was gaining so much weight).

I really like the new attitude you're taking towards your situation. I think you're moving in the right direction and I like to see that.

I'm glad I'm not the only one in this thread who thinks risperdal is a bad thing for you, or anyone for that matter.