11 days in, cold turkey detox
HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
ZERO HOUR, FRIDAY: Got high for the last time with a 10 pod batch. Tomorrows going to suck.
DETOX DAY 1, SATURDAY: Wake up super depressed and with lots of back pain. I'm am incredibly tired but there's too much pain and restlessness to sleep. I have extremely hyper active arms making it 10 times worse - almost unbearable. Showering helps but only for a minute. The depression, restlessness and mild hallucinations/confusion make it even worse. At one point i found myself outside walking down the street in the freezing cold - i must have figured that was my only option to keep from going insane. I must have squirmed in and out of bed 150 times. I go through about 2 grams of chronic but that does nothing to ease the pain.
DAY 2, SUNDAY: The same as Saturday but worse. I can't sleep or rest even though I and extremely tired. My hyperactive arms are literally driving me nuts. I feel like I'm and a straight jacket. My arms are shooting out from my body in a panic but moving them around doesn't really help. It and almost indescribable feeling and the worst part of the whole detox. I tried heating pads, hand massagers and even PUTTING RUBBER BANDS AROUND MY ARMS TO TRY AND NUMB THEM - thats right. The only thing that help was a freezing cold shower. That would calm my nerves enough to lay down and get 20 minutes sleep before waking up with hyperactive arms again. The cycle continued into early monday with about 20 freezing cold showers - one every 20 to 40 minutes. I tried laying down in the car, outside on the ground, in the motor home - nothing came even close to helping me rest. I go through 2 more grams of marijuana but it really does nothing but maybe take 2-5% of the edge off. Probably the most painful day of my life - BUT DO-ABLE.
DAY 3, MONDAY: About 7 am , in a dazed confusion I get up and drive 1 hour to my dad's house because he's out of town and i know he has a couple of percocet. His house is in the country making it a little easier to rest. Any noises, like a car down the street, are extremely annoying and make the symptoms more unbearable. At about 10 am I take 2 percocet, feel ABSOLUTELY NOTHNG, but am able to sleep 3 hours. in the after noon I take 2 more percocet, FEEL ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but it takes the depression down a notch for a coupe hours. I watch a little FOX News. I make the false statement that I think its getting better. In the evening the restlessness and hyperactive arms return and I continue to take cold showers but it's not really working. Still smoking weed, it really doesn't help but I think that it is necessary.
DAY 4, TUESDAY: Early at about 2 am I can't take the hyperactive arms, legs, and insomnia anymore. I break down and take the last 2 vicoden. Luckily I fall asleep for 6 hours (the most to date) and wake up at around 11 am. Still in pain and restless - I go from the couch, to the bed, to the shower and repeat all three every 20 minutes for most of the day. At about 6pm I decide to drive to the store to buy some beer maybe that will help. While out I get a bug up my ass. Consciousness starts to come back and I start to feel like a human again. I drive around listening to music in the country for a couple of hours. I feel like a kid again smelling things and seeing colors that I haven't experienced in a long time. It's really hard to explain. After that I figured I blew off some energy and will be able to rest for a little bit. WRONG. I decide to drive to my brothers to hang out for a bit. I feel alright on the drive but by the time I get there I'm exhausted and turn around and go back to my dad's house right away. The night is a blur of INSOMNIA, hot and cold showers, hyperactive arms, and back pain.
DAY 5, WEDNESDAY: I feel like i have the flu. I'm trying to force myself to be active but over heat and become exhausted in a matter of minutes. I leave my dad's place and drive home. After driving home and drinking 2 ROCKSTARS I nerd out for a few hours on the computer. Surely I will be able to sleep tonight. WRONG. the night is a cycle of hyperactive arms, insomnia, and showers. The cold showers no longer do the trick I find myself sitting down in the warm shower for what seamed like hours at a time just to get through the night.
DAY 6, THURSDAY: After NO sleep, I go buy some bananas and multi vitamins at about noon. Seriously exhausted from almost a week with no sleep I lay down in the afternoon tired as FUCK and try to go to sleep. I'll give you a wild guess what happens. Tossing and turning and back pain. GOD DAMMIT. In the early evening I get up and force myself to do some chores and blow of some energy that I don't have. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LONG IT'S TAKING, I HAVE A WEDDING REHEARSAL TOMORROW. I THOUGHT FOR SURE I WOULD BE BETTER BY NOW - BUT I'M NOT. I still really can't relax, the night is a blur of 10 minute showers every hour. At this point I have a folding metal chair in the shower - thats right. At some point in the night a got about 2.5 hours of sleep. Still smoking weed.
DAY 7, FRIDAY: I feel like shit in the morning. FUCK I HAVE A WEDDING REHEARSAL TODAY. On my way to the rehearsal I get and energy bug up my ass. I feel good and have a great time at the rehearsal and the following dinner. My adrenaline must have been pumping from the excitement of seeing a number of friends and class mates (hotties) that I hadn't seen in years. SURELY WITH ALL THIS ENERGY USE I'll GET SOME SLEEP TONIGHT. NOT REALLY, MAYBE 3 HOURS OF SLEEP AND SIX SHOWERS.
DAY 8, SATURDAY: WEDDING DAY, FUCK I HAVE TO DRESS UP. AT LEAST WE GET TO WEAR SANDALS. I feel like shit in the morning but as I wake up and make my way to the wedding (with the help of a red bull) I start to perk up. The wedding is a blast only bad part was the actual wedding where i had to stand there, head straight, left hand over right for about 35 minutes. The reception was even more fun. I had a couple of beers and was feeling pretty fuckin good. I busted some moves on the dance floor. I felt about 90%. After the reception was the after party. I drank a bunch more beers and did a couple lines of coke. At this point I was care free - until the sun started coming up. After an hour of trying to sleep at the party house I got up and drove home (probably shouldn't have, but oh well). With a belly full of beer I slept for about 5 hours. THANK GOD.
DAY 9, SUNDAY: I'm a little hung over and tired but I get myself out of bed and meet my brothers at the horse races for some gambling, beer and pizza. After a beer and a slice of pizza I feel pretty good but start to burn out in the evening. FUCK, I HAVE GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW. I STILL HAVE MASIVE INSOMNIA. I BOUGHT SOME BENEDRYL BUT IT REALLY DIDN'T WORK. I get about an hours sleep and take a bunch of - you guessed it - showers.
DAY 10, MONDAY: I force myself up at 8 am and drive a hour to work. I get a little work done (random construction and demo on a building we are converting to a school) but am exhausted and sweating profusely. I take off early and head home. I get a call in the even from a friend with 2 free mariners tickets. My brother and I grab a bottle of Vodka and head to the game. Buy the time we get to the game we are pretty wasted and have a good time. After the game we go home and luckily the vodka helps me sleep. I get about 5 hours sleep.
DAY 11, TUESDAY (TODAY): I force myself up at 8 am again and go to work. Still get tired pretty easily and sweat a lot but some of that could be from a slight Vodka hangover. I took off a couple hours early. That was a couple of hours ago. I hope I can sleep more tonight. I thing the lack of sleep is what's dragging out the detox. I wish i had have had some ambien or something I swear that would have made things earlier. I'm still a little tired and sweat a little but it's getting better. I'd say I'm at 60-70%. Hopefully by the weekend I'll be 90-100%
THE POINT OF MY LONG (past and present tense mixed) STORY IS THAT IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN TO. I SPENT A COUPLE DAYS IN HELL AND A FEW NEXT TO IT, BUT I DID IT. COLD TURKEY. BESIDE A FEW OF PERCOCET, A BOTTLE OF TYLENOL, AND SOME PRAYERS IT WAS "EL NATURAL". I EVEN HAD A BRAND NEW BOX OF PODS THE WHOLE TIME. SO OBVIOUSLY IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH TO BREAK DOWN AND MAKE A BATHTUB FULL OF POD TEA. I REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO QUIT AND GAVE IT 120%. WHEN THINGS WERE AT ITS WORST I THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING SOME TEA. BUT THEN ALL MY PAIN WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING. THATS WHAT KEPT ME GOING, I KNOW THAT SOONER OR LATER (turned out to be later) IT WOULD BE OVER.
HOPE THIS HELPS. DETOX NOW, EVERY MONTH THAT GOES BY WILL MAKE IT THAT MUCH HARDER. I WAS ONLY ON THE SHIT FOR 4 MONTHS AND LOOK WHAT I WENT THROUGH (arrow pointing up) TO KICK IT. YA YOU COULD GRADUALLY DETOX BUT WHY DRAG IT OUT AND FEEL 50% FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS ON END.
REMEMBER YOU CAN DO IT BUT YOU HAVE TO REALLY, REALLY, WANT TO.
THE END (sorry for all the caps and typos)