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poem about self hatred. basically how i feel.

Shady Kaity

Shady Kaity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 3, 2009
Messages
504
Location
dirty jersey
I am a waste
just a taste
of what you shouldn't have
My words are useless
My soul, meaningless
No good,
No right
Only wrong, stay away.

I will die
By my hand
My own free will
Nothing more,
Nothing more she spoke.
Make it painful,
Make it long
Make sure she suffers all along
See the darkness shes become.

Toxic at best,
Forgets all the rest.
Carries on without a care.
Demise,
A slow suicide.
Fills her body,
With pills
Shes in for the kill.
Wasting away in her skin
From the inside, out.
Ran down, tired, and tried.
Cries out to God
No answer, no response.
Its too late.
Shes gone.
Got her peace shes always wanted.
No beat
No trace,
She couldn't find a way.
Shes finally wasted away...
And her note said,
"I needed to find God somehow."

As always, criticism is more than welcomed. Thanks.
 
Wow sounds like you are/were in a very dark place. If you're already out of it and these are emotions of the past that's good that you can still reflect upon them, but if you're going through this right now please (I know this sounds incredibly cliche) try and maintain positive outlook. Keep writing, writing can be very therapeutic, it definitely helped me out when I was in a similar place as you at the beginning of the summer. Although I only experienced suicidal ideations and never had a definite plan to go through with it, it was still an awful thing to go through.

Eventually, I was able to break free of the suicidal thoughts I was experiencing and ended up rediscovering my true self. Every time I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I would think of all the things I hadn't experienced yet and the desire to keep exploring this strange thing we call existence returned. We all struggle at times, it's normal. In fact, times of struggle are when we find out who we really are. Please keep your head up and remember that things will get better, no matter how bad your current situation seems to be.

Sorry if all this seems really random coming from a complete stranger over the Internet, it's just that your words really resonated with me because I've been in the exact same place.
 
peacelovedope said:
Wow sounds like you are/were in a very dark place. If you're already out of it and these are emotions of the past that's good that you can still reflect upon them, but if you're going through this right now please (I know this sounds incredibly cliche) try and maintain positive outlook. Keep writing, writing can be very therapeutic, it definitely helped me out when I was in a similar place as you at the beginning of the summer. Although I only experienced suicidal ideations and never had a definite plan to go through with it, it was still an awful thing to go through.

Eventually, I was able to break free of the suicidal thoughts I was experiencing and ended up rediscovering my true self. Every time I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I would think of all the things I hadn't experienced yet and the desire to keep exploring this strange thing we call existence returned. We all struggle at times, it's normal. In fact, times of struggle are when we find out who we really are. Please keep your head up and remember that things will get better, no matter how bad your current situation seems to be.

Sorry if all this seems really random coming from a complete stranger over the Internet, it's just that your words really resonated with me because I've been in the exact same place.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your input...its basicallly where im at currently. Not as bad, thats why i felt i could finally post it. thats what i love about this site, i feel very open to post my more personal poems than i do on facebook. Its my son and school that keep me going, just hoping for a brighter future...
 
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