PMDD-Pre Menstral Dysphroric Disorder

[skillz~4~thrillz]

***SERIOUS DISCUSSION*** FROM BOTH MEN AND WOMEN WELCOME

Having recently been diagnosed W/ PMDD and having learned about several friends who suffer from they same,I am starting a thread where women can come and share the levels of hell they have have experienced since more and more research has been done and we now know more than ever,I am curious to hear the stories some of you wish to share-including heartfelt,serious experiences of the men in these lives.
Points of interest besides obvious mood effects are prescriptions,surgery,supplements in diet and more importantly a place where those who are affected by this disorder can come and share their pain and not feel so alone.
As for me,my own tale will follow,but I open this thread up to those of you who may need relief in sharing more than I.


P.S. n3o and I discussed where this thread might be of the most help,however,if other MODs feel it is better placed elsewhere I look forward to its new home and the responses it received.

Much Peace and Love...............skillz

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

A few sources to educate those who are unaware....

http://www.pmdd.factsforhealth.org/

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Premenstrual+dysphoric+disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder

http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/main/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/menu-id-68/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pmdd/AN01372

many may not be aware of this disorder,,,this should get anyone interested in the subject a good start.don't be afraid to do your own research,as well as,consult your doctor and schedule for a checkup.

peace and love and questions welcome.............skillz

 

[n3ophy7e]

Nice thread skillz, as you know I have a lot to contribute on this subject but I will do so when I get home tonight

 

[mariacallas]

Good thread! Like I told some of my girl friends in the office, our lives revolve around our uterus Speaking of which, this week is my PMS week [approximately 1-2 weeks before I am due to get my period]. I don't feel as bad as before though because I've been reading up a LOT about what I could possibly do to ease my PMS and I've been taking a lot of vitamins and supplements.

[By the way, just a question: PMDD is just another term for PMS [Pre-menstrual syndrome] right? Ooops spoke too soon.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). The symptoms of PMDD are similar to those of PMS, but are severe enough to interfere with work, social activities, and relationships.

Will post more later xxxooo

 

[n3ophy7e]

I have been meaning to contribute to this thread for days now but lo and behold I am in the dark throes of my cycle of PMDD right now so I'm really limited in my motivation, self-belief and general cognition.

The way my PMDD has culminated in recent years, with the reigning effect of the contraceptive pill Yasmin (well-documented to specifically help with PMDD), is that I generally have one REALLY REALLY BAD DAY once every 2 weeks. Hell, that is a whole lot better than being completely batshit crazy for 3 out of 4 weeks per month, which is what I was like for many years.

2 PMDD days per month (or "suicidal" days as I frequently refer to them as) I can deal with.

As an example of how this one really bad day every 2 weeks affects me: this week I almost quit my job and broke up with my boyfriend on the same day, both over pretty much nothing. I have been at my job for 4 years, it is a fantastic company to work for and I am very happy there. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6.5 years and we are very much in love, we own a house together, and we are very happy and compatible. But when I'm experiencing the symptoms of PMDD all of this goes completely out the window. So this is not a rare pattern of thought for me to have on my PMDD days. For the other 13 days of each fortnight I am ME, I am my usual self, I am happy in my relationship, happy with myself, happy with my job and my studies, everything is sweet. But literally, BAM, the next day, for one day, I will be severely depressed, obsessing about killing myself, convinced that I have no friends and that my boyfriend doesn't love me, hatred for my job, self-worthlessness, extreme mood swings, etc. This happens every 2 weeks.

Back when I was initially diagnosed with PMDD (about 8 years ago), I had never heard of it. All I knew was that I was completely insane for 3 weeks out of every month, and then when I was actually menstruating my moods seemed to be less unbearable.

Would I have ever developed PMDD if I'd never gone on to the contraceptive pill?? I will never know. But one thing I do know for sure is that 99% of hormonal contraceptives make my PMDD much MUCH worse, even NuvaRing (which I was told would help it). But then again my PMDD is pretty bad when I'm not on any type of contraceptive whatsoever, so when I was seriously desperate for a solution my doctor convinced me to try "just one more type of pill", which was Yasmin (note: NOT Yaz). Since I've been on Yasmin, like I've described, instead of being suicidal and fucking insane for 3 out of 4 weeks per month, I have one insane day per fortnight, and that I can deal with. It's seriously like clockwork, once in the very middle of my cycle, and then 2 days before I menstruate.

Hey, that's not to say I can actually control the craziness when it's actually happening But it makes a bit more sense of it when the darkness clears once more and I realise/remember why I felt so horribly depressed that day.

I could seriously talk about my experiences with PMDD all day so if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask, either in this thread or via private messages

 

[ugly]

Awesome thread. I was diagnosed with PMDD probably 10 years ago. I can't remember for sure. I have ruined friendships, lost jobs, had temper tantrums and all sorts of other whacked out behaviors because of this disorder. I tried to commit suicide during one episode. I had a nervous breakdown during one episode. I am a little better now because I take meds for it, and I am 51, going into the change of life, so it's faded from how drastic it used to be. Now I am basically a bitch before I start, but not a screaming, crying, batshit-crazy freak.

I can't take caffeine. Caffeine makes it 100 times worse. I notice a huge difference if I go back on caffeine. Weed helps me calm down, and frankly oxycontin snuffs out a lot of the behaviors and puts me in a much better mood if I have it before my period. Oxys, Roxies, weed, ecstacy, even meth will change my brain chemicals during PMDD and make the situation more tolerable, assuming I have any of those substances. Alcohol helps a little bit too. Sobriety before my period starts has come to mean that I will owe someone close to me an apology after my period starts. It took me a long time to figure that out.

Lexapro has helped me more than anything. I have been on several different antidepressants but Lexapro works the best out of all of them, for me. Having xanax on hand for breakthrough bitchiness is really helpful as well. Getting a long massage with a happy ending helps me get through it when I am penniless and drugless, as I am now. I hate having this disorder. I HATE IT. I can't trust myself to be civil at all.

 

[ranunky]

sorry if this is a stupid question but can you get PMS and PMDD at the same time? And what happens if you do?

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ That's not a stupid question
No, you either have PMS or PMDD, not both at the same time. I think of PMDD as like super-mega-mega-ultra-PMS that persists for pretty much the whole month, instead of just a few days before your period.


Thanks for your contribution ugly, it's always so comforting to me (and interesting) to read other women's experiences with PMDD
If my calculations are correct, you were diagnosed when you were about 40, meaning that you had to endure over 20 years of PMDD without knowing what the fuck was going on?! That must have been absolute HELL

Alcohol helps a little bit too. Sobriety before my period starts has come to mean that I will owe someone close to me an apology after my period starts. It took me a long time to figure that out.

Alcohol makes me a lot worse actually. Because I drink a lot anyway, when I drink a lot during a PMDD episode, all my inhibitions are lost and that's when I end up completely letting loose and giving in to my emotions, which usually leads to me screaming at my boyfriend and thinking about leaving him, or obsessing about killing myself.

Man sometimes I really wish I lived in the US so I could get a Xanax prescription. Benzos are harder to get here in Aus than trying to get blood out of a stone. So frustrating. I know that if I had at least some valium on hand for when things get crazy, I could get through it with much less emotional damage.

I hate having this disorder. I HATE IT. I can't trust myself to be civil at all.

Me too hun. The main thing I absolutely HATE about PMDD is that no matter how hard I try to prepare for it, no matter how much I try to remember that it's coming soon and try to not be crazy, it all goes out the window when I'm actually having an episode. I completely forget that I have PMDD and I'm just a depressed, angry, bitchy, irritable, suicidal mess and I can't figure out why it's happening.

Then the sun comes out in my mind again and I suddenly remember "Oh that's right, that was just my PMDD" 8)
Fucking LAME.

 

[Dtergent]

I get moderately grouchy before I get my period and that's about it. But a point of interest for all the women out there-- Just this year I was drinking LOADS of coffee and doing some stimulants as well to an abnormal level, and for probably the second time in the history of my life I got abdominal cramps before my period. I would have to lay down in the middle of meetings or even eating, it was horrible.

I fixed my lifestyle up and the next month, practically symptom-less again.

I feel best during my period when I have eaten wholesome, non-salty food, slept early, taken a lot of water, and generally taken lighter meals throughout the days.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

Bloody hell

< As the OP,I guess it is my turn to tell my tale of bloody hell. I don't say that to be funny-there is nothing funny about PMDD-or PMS for that matter.I say it because it is just that. A bloody hell.We all know what menstruating is and the addition of the word hell describes each woman's inexorable struggle with the terrible symptoms that accompany nature's way of allowing us to procreate. It seems to me far beyond unfair that this falls solely on the female gender-I mean from what I have heard of the pain that is childbirth,one would think that the monthly chance that exists within a woman to create life would be free from the psychological and physical pain that is the plight of PMS and PMDD.Having said that,I will try and give you a glimpse into my own personal bloody hell.
The first I heard of PMDD was about a year ago.From the age of 17 I worked in the restaurant and bar business for an entire decade. For those of you who do not know,there is no medical insurance in most food and beverage situations. As an already seasoned drinker and drug user,the money I made
(which was very good) was for rent,drugs,booze and occasionally clothes.It was not until age 28 when I had left the business for retail where after 6 months I had earned health insurance,that I had my 1st gynecology appointment in over 10 years.The birth control I as put on did little for my PMS symptoms and as a smoker and someone who struggled with weight as a child,"the pill" was just not for me.That was over 6 years ago and while I still have not seen my gynecologist,I have seen several doctors-including my psychiatrist of 10 years and a psychologist who interviewed me for my disability claim a few months back who both feel that PMDD is yet another fucking problem with this body of mine.
Frustrating.....that word seems to undermine the absolute torture that is PMDD. First and foremost I am Bipolar.After that are a list of psychological ailments:OCD, ADD, PTSD,battered wife syndrome and recent recovered memory of childhood sexual abuse.I also have injuries from a near fatal car accident on Jan 10,2006 that are like an inferno of flame no matter what I take(II have detoxed off of opiates twice in my life and I can't handle a third so the strongest thing I take is Gabapentin).My right knee and ankle ere shattered,several internal injuries,a paralyzed vocal chord from the open heart surgery that saved my life-oh and that almost 5 year old scar,still feels like it is new.It runs from under my left shoulder blade around to under my left breast.There is no comfortable position for sleep for either my leg or my scar.And last but not least chronic reflux that I was diagnosed with at age 17. So I am all ready crazy and full of pain. When my PMDD hits-its like a streak of lightening.I know it's coming,and at any second-but It's always the second that I do not expect it that it hits.My skin feels like it isn't my own.Every sound is like finger nails on a chalk board.Every person I I love is on my last goddamn nerve. My dog whom I adore is too clingy. My body aches in places it shouldn't. My insomnia is quadrupled,my appetite gone. I live on supplement shakes like Boost or Ensure. Nothing is right,everything is wrong. I snap at the slightest thing and end up trying to scream even though 1 vocal chord doesn't work.I am anxious and hot,no clothing fits right and my usual favorite outfit-my birthday suit-leaves me feeling fat and unattractive instead of sexy and free.My head is full of poison-"you're a loser","natural born fuck up","I wish that accident killed me".It doesn't stop,it just plays over and over on loop set until I feel my head will explode. I start abusing my meds to a dangerous point because I just want to feel anything than what I am feeling then.I want to die,but I can't attempt suicide a 7th time in my life;that makes me feel worse and so I start shooting up my ADD meds every half an hour until the jaw clenching forces me to stop. Then I curse myself because I live with my parents and they are going to have to break down my door and find me dead with a needle in my arm.
Three days this usually lasts.Then the first sign of blood turns into a gushing,clotted mess. Now the cramps set in and they just plain take over.But as soon as I start my period the mental anguish disappears,replaced by the incapacitating cramps,and although they seem to imprison me in my bed,the physical pain is a welcome relief to the mental horror that precedes them.
Because of my mental illness,I never thought these 3 days were anything more than regular PMS. When I started getting clean-well,clean for me,and taking my meds EVERYDAY like I should,I realized that something else was very,very wrong. That was about a year ago and my psychiatrist added zoloft to my pills o' plenty and in combination with the luvox I was already on,the symptoms are the same,just a little less severe.
I know this post included a lot more about other ailments than PMDD,but when you have been crazy your whole life it is hard to separate the symptoms from what you know you will always have from these that while so closely related,only make the former worse...and visa-versa.This past year I have spent isolated,a hermit to the real world and only social here online. A big reason is because I know every 28 days I am going to be in the deepest,darkest,depth of what I call "My Bloody Hell".
Thank you all for sharing-for being brave and bold and telling it like it is. I hope that this thread continues to be a place where women can unload this burden,learn from each other and offer the kind of support that only those who suffer the same can give.
As always,
with much peace and love........skillz

 

[n3ophy7e]

I can relate to so much of what you posted, skillz. Like I said about ugly's comments, it is so comforting to read about other women's experiences with PMDD. It makes me feel so much less crazy and inadequate

 

[ugly]

Hey skillz... that was quite the essay and I felt like like I had written parts of it myself. I know what you have been through.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

Hey skillz... that was quite the essay and I felt like like I had written parts of it myself. I know what you have been through.

Thank you so much. I spent a lot of time on what I chose to share.I was extremely unsure about it and only posted after having n3o read it for me.As always she made me feel important and that my input as greatly valued.
It feels good to know we are not alone even though the reality of the inevitable haunts us and effects us right now,and we know there is no chance of that dread of what is coming AGAIN disappearing.

Much love to you-Beautiful ...I hope that does not offend.A soul as pure as yours makes it impossible for me to call you anything else.

Always......skillz

p.s. I noticed my many errors.I am an English major and will edit soon-probably not tonight though.That post and others today have drained me emotionally.But I will bounce back and continue to contribute to this thread.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

I can relate to so much of what you posted, skillz. Like I said about ugly's comments, it is so comforting to read about other women's experiences with PMDD. It makes me feel so much less crazy and inadequate

You make me remember that I am an important-loving-pure soul.You make me feel like I make a difference and that is all that I hope to do in this life.Give back what has been so freely given to me.I love you,girl.Stay strong.We now have a support network to get us through our own Bloody Hells.

You are an amazing woman,friend,senior mod and overall beautiful soul.I send my grateful energy out into the universe everyday that you are who you are...and you are a valued,much needed friend.

As always,with much peace and love....skillz

 

[n3ophy7e]

So much love to you skillz, thank you hun You are important and you do make a difference. You are a very special person indeed

 

[ugly]

I've got MAD PMDD this week. I haven't been out of bed since Monday, I can't talk to anyone without being a jerk to them, I'm mad at everybody, I feel lonely, and I cry a lot. I'm in desperate need of benzos now, but I'm out.

 

[ugly]

I did it now. I killed my relationship with two close friends. I had nightmares all night and woke up crying. I have no friends left now and no body who gives a flying fuck. All because of PMDD. It's all over now. I'm going forward alone.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

I did it now. I killed my relationship with two close friends. I had nightmares all night and woke up crying. I have no friends left now and no body who gives a flying fuck. All because of PMDD. It's all over now. I'm going forward alone.

your not alone...just feels like you are. mine hit me last night..out of nowhere,even though I KNEW it was coming. Do your friends know about PMDD?I know it's hard but sometimes you have to force ppl in your life to learn about it and accept it.that is where I am struggling most right now.I just see it in my girlfriend's face,my parents face(even though I am 34,bc of all my crazy shit I am out of work and living with them).It's like their expression says"yeah,right-yo fucking hypochondriac.don't make excuses for being shitty.and if you don't want to get out of bed just say so-don't make shit up and keep backing out of things you said you would do."
you have this thread,and I promise to be a cyber shoulder.I don't mind at all.

btw...do you smoke pot???bc it helps my symptoms immensely.i've been clean for like 4 months-except a little bday pot 3 weeks ago,but i don't drink anymore-i am too scared of opiate treatment for my aches&pains bc i ihave gone through w/d from them twice in my life and I CANNOT do it again if for some reason I could no longer get a prescription.I quit doing meth a year ago,it both helped and inflamed the situation.I got pain relief from the rather large habit I had and amount I took.I am an insomniac by nature,but like my ADD meds,speeds just makes me focused.Meth,however...I would refuse to rest even when I was exhausted.I would literally nod off-like black out in the middle of a cig or fixing up,even trying to shoot up bc my body NEEDED sleep.so that added to the already "severe irritability" that I get from PMDD and my bipolar disorder.I was just bat shit crazy...still am,just not with the addition of meth bat shit crazy.anyway,I am currently blowing up ALL my weed contacts for ANYTHING.it helps w/ the irritability and with the pain.It also stimulates my appetite-now I live on nutritional supplement shakes and yogurt,mostly bc my reflux is so bad mood food just sets my stomach on fire and i end up choking on stomach acid.plus,having such extreme mental anguish doesn't really make one a regular,healthy eater.I have no appetite at all for almost a year now.Fuck-I ate more when I was shooting meth all day everyday than I do now that I got off the drugs.I also feel that every month I get cleaner and cleaner from the toxins of years of severe substance abuse,the more sensitive my body and mind are to the symptoms of my PMDD that were more or less masked by so many illicit drugs.I feel like I am getting crazier and crazier every month and I KNOW the pain is more severe. I feel like this is a giant brick wall that lands right in front of me for 3 days every fucking month and I can't get over it,around it,hell I feel like i am even punching it until my fists are bloody with open wounds and broken bones.And I don't care bc I cannot stop punching this wall.so I am on the super crazy train through the weekend at least.I am so sorry that you suffer too-but I must admit,being able to vent help me so much-esp because I keep a good deal about my other problems I keep buried deep inside.Like poison,slowly killing me,I keep them buried...hidden.all the while they are just making it all worse.coming out of my pores and poisoning everything around me.
Try and get some benzos-anyway you can.and if you do smoke-get some herb.If you don't smoke,don't be afraid to try it.maybe double check with n3o on that.I don't see pot having any negative effects on anyone for anything,but I trust her advice over mine any day.
I will keep checking the thread,so post away.If this evil,unfair shit can help another woman,then it becomes for me a little less intolerable.
I am glad you found the thread.keep me posted.we may have just met,but I REALLY DO CARE.

sending you peaceful, loving,healing energy......skillz

p.s. just reread your initial post so I know you are down with herb and all the other good stuff.so seriously try and cop something-anything that you KNOW will make you better.That is not something I would normally suggest,but this shit is a fucking cold-hearted killer.I say do what you have to do to stay sane,AND ALIVE.hope some of this helps.I will talk with you again soon-I promise.
...skillz

 

[n3ophy7e]

ugly I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the moment hun. You are definitely not alone though. That's what this thread is for, to prove that point! We definitely understand what you're going through.

Hopefully when the worst is over for your current episode you will feel much better about things. I'm sure your friends will understand if you explain the situation to them. Take care hun

Oh and re: smoking pot to alleviate the anger/irritability symptoms, it certainly can't hurt to try if you're a smoker anyway. BUT for the record, I'm one of those unfortunate people that pot has a really bad reaction with. When I'm actually stoned it's great, no problems with anxiety or paranoia etc. But for the week after I smoke I'm really depressed, and if that coincides with a PMDD episode it's disasterous. It sucks because I'd love to be able to use pot for "medicinal" purposes but it just doesn't agree with me at al

 

[addictivepersona]

Not to derail the thread or anything, but how is it you get tested for PMDD?... May have to add this to the list of things I need to be tested for once I get health insurance again... Seems that a few times a month I get terrible mood swings that come from nothing. Most of the time it seems like it's from not eating/low blood sugar, but sometimes it just comes from absolutely nowhere.