I have made good progress since I posted in Jan '10. I saw a good psychiatrist, and a good psychologist, and was on strong meds for six months or so. I increased my healthy activities (yoga) and decreased my negative eating habits. I spent at least half the year (off a month on a month)in Nor Cali at my parents house.
In retrospect, I am very glad I decided to spend so much time with my parents. I was profoundly comforted, just being with the two of them, the three of us taking it easy. I am so grounded compared to how I felt two years ago.
Thanks for bumping this. I'm in menopause now, and I have had a bit of hormone therapy during a rough patch but otherwise, I believe my mood swings have gotten weaker and weaker to where they don't move around too much anymore.
Damn. It's been two years. I went through some horrible, horrible shit. Confusion, anger, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, terror, and suicidal depression.
I just kept going forward. No, I didn't go forward. Time passed. The sun would come up, then go down. Over and over and over. All I had to do was wait. I don't have a job. I can't find a job and I actually am starting to doubt I will be able to find work ever. But I know that the universe is in order, and the sun will go down tonight, and when it comes up, another day will have started.
If I stay in the present, and not dwell on the past, and not worry about the future, then I'm golden. Time may not be on my side anymore, but I am on Time's side. In some ways, that's better!
Thank you for