You come here, make a thread, then ask for "brutal honesty" and then cry over it when you get it. Honestly, what did you expect? This isn't a forum full of doctors, and even if it was, they would tell you the same thing I did. Go see a doctor for whatever problems that you have. You're also angry, not very aware of your own behavior and seem to be much more concerned with everyone's replies rather than what you're going through. If you don't like these replies, then leave or stop making threads. You're going to lose yourself over this with the kind of attitude that you have.
I told you about accountability because that is my own experience. For many years I was blamed for something that wasn't my fault; I was hateful, angry, absolutely refused to be held accountable for any of it and rebelled probably much more than you ever have. When I see this kind of attitude and stubbornness, I see how I used to be albeit our situations are probably different. STILL, thanks to mdma opening the shit out of my selfish thought cycles, I took accountability to the fullest; I apologized, saw the situation through their point of view, changed my behavior and proved it through my actions and through that, I've gained the ultimate, unspoken respect from the people I cared about. On top of that, I don't think anything I've been through is that out of the ordinary; shit happens! That's life. Instead of complaining here, go out and do something about it.
You need to own up to your behavior and actions. This is your life, and nobody can fix it for you here. You say hindsight is simple to grasp, but your actions tell a different story because you already know this. Look at your own actions and ask yourself, what are you getting out of this? Asking for advice is worthless if you choose to not follow any of it. If you are going to continue to be remorseless and reply with no respect to others, this thread will be closed.