Thank you. It does but it's not listed on the funeral home's website and I suspect the family may have smeared things so much against me to paint me as a danger and that it's not to be published. There is nothing on their website. When I phoned yesterday to find out they were unsettled and said oh wait until I get to my computer and I will phone you back and they phoned back about an hour later (so long enough for her to contact someone and find out what to tell me) and said to contact the family. I said I am the family and there are only 2 older brothers who are abusive. They said another woman is handling it and will phone me back tomorrow. Can they lie if there is a closed service and they don't want me to know? As in they have brainwashed them that I am going to be a nuisance or cause a scene at the funeral. I would never do that and I suspect it's a final act of bullying me out of the family. I just want to pay my respects peacefully like they have the chance to do.
Thank you so much. This helps a lot. How's this for you - not only am I the biological daughter BUT the middle son is adopted and he is the golden child! So the non-biological son and an older biological son (him and I share the same parents and he is SEVENTEEN years older than me so much older and intimidating) are co-executors and very nasty and abusive and I suspect they don't want me there. I was told there is not a funeral but I suspect that's a lie to put me off. I want the truth tomorrow and I will find out. What is done in darkness comes to light. So they do all this shit and then when I am now truly a paranoid wreck with PTSD they smear me further to everyone.
What do I say if when I ask the woman who's handling it tomorrow they say contact the family? I suspect that's what they're going to say again.
I am truly sorry that you have to deal with all of that just to pay your respects. I know how you feel as I am also the black sheep of my family ( I was the only one that used drugs, smoked cigarettes, got arrested a couple of times etc ) however I also graduated from high school, went on to college and worked my entire life and raised a Son on my own so..........their opinion means nothing to me.
Thank you so much. Sorry to hear you are the black sheep also. It sounds like you have accomplished a lot and you should be proud. I guess because I have chronic illness and PTSD and cannot function well I am an embarrassment and they don't want me there. I also want the truth of if there is a funeral. Am I entitled to know that?
Well..........if you are calling a funeral home, where your Dad is waiting to be interred , he will either be buried or cremated. I'm pretty sure that the director will tell you which one is going on with your dad but they may not tell you the location of the actual service. But they will probably let you pay your respects and tell you what's going on with your dads body as that is not a conflict of interest with the other family members. Good Luck !!
Thank you so much. I would like to get to the bottom of why they won't tell his only daughter the location of his service. I have a right to know if there is one. I want to know finally if they are liars. I just want to know.
I do not want this for you!
Thank you so much for your kindest words. This made me cry. They are the ones who have to sleep at night and live with what they have done.
I know that kind of people and I tell you, they are not worth your energy or time.
Thank you so much. This made me cry and is overwhelming to hear. This is very comforting. They even stole a small gift I gave him when he was in the nursing home. I bought my father 2 little things - one being a plaque thing saying best father or whatever and the other being a small cheap fluffy toy to try to comfort him. He *KNEW* the toy was from me as he held it up on another visit and cuddled it to show me he has it. Anyway on Sunday they gave me the plaque back and a card but the toy was nowhere to be found. Another mind game. It wasn't the cost but the principle of the thing. THEN they tried to give me all these cards he had that weren't even from me. I took the cards I had given him but left the others. The brothers got everything that wasn't tied down and sold his house before he went into the nursing home. The oldest brother had a photo of my dad and two of his brothers when they were younger and he kept that. He sent me a photo of it through text after I asked him but it's got the flash on it and the table so it's just a photo of a photo. They have the original of everything!
Thank you for your reply. Yes he had dementia apparently but he wasn't that bad that he didn't know who we were or anything. Last time I saw him he knew exactly who I was. I would say though that given the dementia diagnosis they were able to sell the house without his signature/consent? They kept it from him for a few months and every time I went to see him he would keep saying he wants to go back to the house and it was heartbreaking to know it was sold and just smile and nod and act dumb about what's going on. In the end they told him and then he was down about it and said how they sold his house and he was getting a solicitor. That never happened though. He only went in around 2020 so I guess I'm glad it didn't drag on much longer for him and he went quickly without having a lot of medical intervention, etc.