Kiluminati
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2002
- Messages
- 9
Hello everyone!
I don't really post much here, but I've gotten myself in a pretty deep fucking hole.
I'm 19 right now, and ever since I was about 14, I always LOVED pain killers. I remember the first time I took a handful of vicodin, ooooohhh, what pleasure. Damn, now I'm an OUT OF CONTROL ADDICT! For the past year, I have been using some type of pain killers (mainly oxycontin) basically everyday. Lets just say I don't really have to pay for my shit since I work hard fr it. Know what I mean? Well, right now my tolerance is outrageous! I have to do about 400mg of oxy to feel good! I'll eat eight of the OC40s no problem. Now that's pretty rediculous, right? I had five100mcg fentanly patches and deaded them in under 72 hours!!!
Right now I have been clean for 5 days. However, I've been REALLY depressed. I know obviously it's from abusing such a potent narcotic for so long. I am wondering how long this will last and when I will feel normal again.
How can I fight off my cravings for this drug? I am incredibly hooked. It sucks so much. I wuldn't wish anyone to be in my position. I hate myself for getting to this point, and having it fuck up my school work, my family life, and basically EVERYTHING else.
I want to be my old self, but it just seems like I have permanently damaged my brain. I used to use a lot of extacy, and had similar feelings, but nothing this acute and lasting this long.
Any advice on how tobeat this terrible situation I (and ONLY I) have put myself in, and when I can become a normal, functioning member of society.
Peace and God bless
I don't really post much here, but I've gotten myself in a pretty deep fucking hole.
I'm 19 right now, and ever since I was about 14, I always LOVED pain killers. I remember the first time I took a handful of vicodin, ooooohhh, what pleasure. Damn, now I'm an OUT OF CONTROL ADDICT! For the past year, I have been using some type of pain killers (mainly oxycontin) basically everyday. Lets just say I don't really have to pay for my shit since I work hard fr it. Know what I mean? Well, right now my tolerance is outrageous! I have to do about 400mg of oxy to feel good! I'll eat eight of the OC40s no problem. Now that's pretty rediculous, right? I had five100mcg fentanly patches and deaded them in under 72 hours!!!
Right now I have been clean for 5 days. However, I've been REALLY depressed. I know obviously it's from abusing such a potent narcotic for so long. I am wondering how long this will last and when I will feel normal again.
How can I fight off my cravings for this drug? I am incredibly hooked. It sucks so much. I wuldn't wish anyone to be in my position. I hate myself for getting to this point, and having it fuck up my school work, my family life, and basically EVERYTHING else.
I want to be my old self, but it just seems like I have permanently damaged my brain. I used to use a lot of extacy, and had similar feelings, but nothing this acute and lasting this long.
Any advice on how tobeat this terrible situation I (and ONLY I) have put myself in, and when I can become a normal, functioning member of society.
Peace and God bless
