EDIT: please just read this post.
I took LSD for the first time yesterday. I took 2 blotters. The trip was way more intense than I expected but it wasn't a bad trip, it was amazing - ultil about 12hrs after the effects started. Then I realized it wasn't stopping. At about 14, 15hrs the visuals were almost gone but I was still very confused mentally. I simply couldn't think well and certainly couldn't work socially. So I though "shit the trip is over and I'm like this, so maybe my brain was damaged". So all I wanted was to go sleep and see if it got better the next day but I had insomnia. I started to panic. After some time I finally managed to sleep. I woke up several times that night, but I always came back to bed to make sure I had lots of sleeping so I could recover well. I managed to sleep for about 10 hours. But, though way better, I still felt somewhat fucked up when I woke up.
During the after day mind was deep and foggy. It was really hard to concentrate and I felt like I couldn't laugh or fell pleasure. I was without patience and didn't want to do anything. Also my vision seemed somewhat fucked up, like any light hurt me. It was just irritating to see and using the computer was really frustrating. I spent some time with my girlfriend and explained everything to her. She said I was talking normally and didn't seemed bad at all, so I calmed down because that meaned I still could work socially. But after some time I figured out it's not true, because, I could't talk to my friends at all. It was too boring, frustrating. It was like when you are sad and don't want to talk. But I wasn't sad. I was just irritated. I workout everyday, but today I couldn't finish it. It was a hell inside the gym, like it had no purpose and I was so bored I left after 2 exercises. I though it was psychologic, something like "yesterday it was so awesome that everything else seems boring now", but that's not the case. First, because yesterday wasn't sooo awesome. It was cool and all, but definitely not near as good as many other things I did lately. And, second, because I can't eat. The food tastes like garbage, I can't just get it in, what is totally unusual. I used to love eating, even in the worse times of my life. So that's a proof my brain somehow can't feel pleasure anymore.
Now it's almost time to sleep the next day and I'm still the same. Irritated, confused, anxious. I hope I'll wake up better but if I don't then I'll really be afraid it'll never go out. I'm very scared. Please, please, help. Does anyone know what's going on? Is my brain permanently damaged? Can I do something about it or I just fucked up my life? Please, please, help. My life was so happy before that... I want to be myself again!
I took LSD for the first time yesterday. I took 2 blotters. The trip was way more intense than I expected but it wasn't a bad trip, it was amazing - ultil about 12hrs after the effects started. Then I realized it wasn't stopping. At about 14, 15hrs the visuals were almost gone but I was still very confused mentally. I simply couldn't think well and certainly couldn't work socially. So I though "shit the trip is over and I'm like this, so maybe my brain was damaged". So all I wanted was to go sleep and see if it got better the next day but I had insomnia. I started to panic. After some time I finally managed to sleep. I woke up several times that night, but I always came back to bed to make sure I had lots of sleeping so I could recover well. I managed to sleep for about 10 hours. But, though way better, I still felt somewhat fucked up when I woke up.
During the after day mind was deep and foggy. It was really hard to concentrate and I felt like I couldn't laugh or fell pleasure. I was without patience and didn't want to do anything. Also my vision seemed somewhat fucked up, like any light hurt me. It was just irritating to see and using the computer was really frustrating. I spent some time with my girlfriend and explained everything to her. She said I was talking normally and didn't seemed bad at all, so I calmed down because that meaned I still could work socially. But after some time I figured out it's not true, because, I could't talk to my friends at all. It was too boring, frustrating. It was like when you are sad and don't want to talk. But I wasn't sad. I was just irritated. I workout everyday, but today I couldn't finish it. It was a hell inside the gym, like it had no purpose and I was so bored I left after 2 exercises. I though it was psychologic, something like "yesterday it was so awesome that everything else seems boring now", but that's not the case. First, because yesterday wasn't sooo awesome. It was cool and all, but definitely not near as good as many other things I did lately. And, second, because I can't eat. The food tastes like garbage, I can't just get it in, what is totally unusual. I used to love eating, even in the worse times of my life. So that's a proof my brain somehow can't feel pleasure anymore.
Now it's almost time to sleep the next day and I'm still the same. Irritated, confused, anxious. I hope I'll wake up better but if I don't then I'll really be afraid it'll never go out. I'm very scared. Please, please, help. Does anyone know what's going on? Is my brain permanently damaged? Can I do something about it or I just fucked up my life? Please, please, help. My life was so happy before that... I want to be myself again!
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), have my entire life provided for me, and proving I play my cards right I can go straight into an amazing adult life.