People in HE with social anxiety

[Electrolyte]

I have social anxiety/phobia (independently diagnosed by two psychiatrists) and was wondering how other sufferers manage to cope in education and work? Can a university or college reject you because of poor performance in an interview, or should they give you special consideration to prevent discrimination because of a mental illness?

If you do get accepted, what happens if you have to give a presentation in front of the class? Shouldn't they specifically set you a separate task so that you don't have an unfair disadvantage?

Do you think nursing is a completely inappropriate profession for someone with a social anxiety disorder (SAD)? I really would like to make a change in my life and am seriously considering studying either nursing or dental nursing but am worried my disorder will prevent me from doing so

Also, what is your view on the use of low doses of benzodiazepines to cope in extremely stressful situations such as a class presentation for someone with SAD?

 

[sushii]

I doubt you'd get far with requesting special consideration for job interviews. It's your employer's chance to assess your suitability for the position and determine your relative standing to other candidates - if you can't impress in the interview, what reason do they have to believe you'll perform well in the job? Not that I'm suggesting you wouldn't; but you need to give them a reason for hiring you.

I've no idea if the situation would be different for interviews for schools. And as far as presentations go, in my classes they've always been compulsory. They don't usually set other tasks for people, anxiety disorders or not. I would imagine this would vary considerably depending on your course, class, and individual lecturer or tutor though.

I can empathise to a degree with your fear of them. I get really pissed at myself for getting nervous about class presentations, because ordinarily I'm not really anxious around people and in other situations - eg, work - I actually like getting up and talking in front of big groups. But for some reason I tend to freak out about doing it in class.

I got so nervous about one a few years ago I convinced myself I wasn't going to sleep the night before (which was likely, as I had terrible insomnia) and would completely stuff it up as a result, and actually decided to go tell the tutor I couldn't do it because I was depressed and it was going to make me flip out. I got to the stage of completely figuring out what I was going to say before I realised I was making it into more trouble than it was worth. In the end I got through it and although I did pretty badly, I was glad I'd given it a go. I know it must be harder for you - I don't have social anxiety, for one thing - but try and keep some perspective. It's never going to be as bad as you think it is.

The best advice I can give you in regards to dealing with social situations is to challenge yourself. Take some steps - no matter how tiny - towards learning to deal with other people, because otherwise it's going to be something you'll struggle with for the rest of your life. You can't avoid people forever, particularly if you're going to be a nurse!

Benzos should work for class presentations. Even just knowing you have them as an option might make it a bit more bearable. Just make sure you know how much to take to get the effect you want - don't go overboard. I don't take benzos often for anything but sleep, and there's been a few times I've misjudged how much I needed and probably looked like more of an idiot than I would have just being nervous.

I'm copying this from another post I made (which I think I stole from a website somewhere) because it might be helpful to you, particularly if you haven't had any forms of therapy where this stuff might have been covered. If you know it all already, then just think of it as a reminder.

Although it's probably the last thing you want to do, putting yourself into situations that you find challenging is a good way to make you feel more capable about dealing with people. If you can successfully do something that you find difficult - giving a speech in public, for example - then smaller things like going shopping become less of a hassle. Personally, I used to share your fear of the phone - I fucking hated talking to pretty much everyone on it, ever close friends - but after years of working in a call centre and doing volunteer telephone counselling I've learnt to deal with it. For me, it was just a matter of proving to myself that not only could I do it without making a fool of myself, in the odd instance that I did say something stupid, the world isn't going to end.

Doing challenging stuff can be hard though (obviously), so here are some other suggestions I found in another thread that might help gradually build your confidence:

Adjust your attitude; -This can be done on two fronts; changing your unrealistic expectations of your own behavior and changing your distorted perception that others will condemn you if you are not perfect. Practice replacing your self-critical thoughts with more supportive ideas. For example, "Most people can handle it when someone makes a mistake", "It would be nice if this had turned out differently, but it’s not the end of the world", " No one else is perfect. I don’t have to be either."

Start small, in logical places, and build; -Smile, nod, say hello to the people you encounter. Make a brief comment to a classmate sitting nearby re; the homework, text, teacher, exam, department, etc this week. At the next class session repeat this process with the same person and include an additional classmate in the conversation. Keep repeating the process until a handful of people start to feel more familiar to you and it seems more natural to talk to them. A next logical step would be to get some of them together for study or recreation. Consider participating in a special interest group/service organization. Nothing helps people get to know each other better than working on a common project together.

Speak up; -Talk in a moderately louder voice, and don’t be afraid if your statement overlaps the previous speaker a bit. Frequent eye contact is essential in modern communication. A relaxed, but alert posture is more approachable than a rigid one.

Have something to say; -Become knowledgeable about current events, campus news. If you have a specialized interest, learn to talk about it so that beginners as well as experts can understand you. Collect amusing stories or jokes to tell.

Be a curious listener; -Ask questions that are open ended;-that is, not answered with a simple yes or no. Open-ended questions start with "why, how, what, when". Give compliments when appropriate. In social settings, take the risk to approach another person who looks shy.

And most importantly:

PRACTICE; -take every opportunity that comes along to improve your skills.

 

[kittyinthedark]

I'm an honors biochemistry major at one of the best science school in the country. I'm taking the hardest classes possible, and even after missing 2 months of school my freshman year because of a psychiatric breakdown and some really bad bronchitis, and another 3 weeks at the end of the semester this past year, I still have a 3.1 GPA. This is all due to the fact that my school has been very compassionate about my bipolar/BPD, and has allowed me a few breaks here and there in terms of extending deadlines when I need extra time to get work done. However, you will most likely not get any breaks on public presentations (although you may not have many to deal with in a major like yours, or like my common ones, your presentation will be judged more by the content than the delivery).

And like sushii said, PRACTICE. Practice makes perfect, and that goes for anxiety too. I've had some pretty crippling anxiety problems on and off over the years, and I've mostly gotten over it by simply forcing myself to go out and do things. There was a time where I couldn't even order a pizza because I would be too nervous to call up Pizza Hut and order a delivery. And then if I somehow yanked up the courage because I was so starving, I'd be shaking like a jello mold in an earthquake when I had to pay the delivery guy. Now I have no problem with most social situations, and I've even been in two musicals. Sometimes it's a matter of slapping your out-of-control brain in the proverbial face and telling it to shut the fuck up and stop being a pussy. Practice, practice, practice, and TAKE CONTROL!

 

[sushii]

my school has been very compassionate about my bipolar/BPD, and has allowed me a few breaks here and there in terms of extending deadlines when I need extra time to get work done.

I should have mentioned that too - my university (and the other two I've been to) have been really, really accomodating as far as extending deadlines go when you have a medical reason. The school I'm at now also has an excellent counselling service that students are encouraged to make use of. You might be expected to do the same assessment tasks as everyone else (such as presentations), but there's plenty of general support available. Don't be discouraged from going to uni and studying nursing because of your anxiety problems - you might find there's instances where you feel uncomfortable, but (hopefully) wherever you study will be supportive.

There was a time where I couldn't even order a pizza because I would be too nervous to call up Pizza Hut and order a delivery.

The first time I called for a pizza, they asked me 'pick up or delivery?' and I freaked out and hung up on them :D

 

[Electrolyte]

I really hope I can get over my SAD or at least reduce the impact it's having upon my quality of life through trying talk therapies like CBT or gradual exposure methods (which have been shown to work for other phobias).

Although I'm sure benzodiazepines or opioids may be effective in removing my inhibitions and relieving any anxiety resulting from situations where I have to interact with others socially, these are really only a short-term crutch. Once the effects of the drugs wear off, the problem resurfaces and it will always be at the back of my mind.

People don't realise how this is affecting my life. They say social anxiety is no different from 'shyness', which is a normal personality trait and the only reason psychiatrists are treating it is so that pharmaceutical companies can market antidepressants as a quick fix for people's personal problems. Do you know what it feels like to know that you will never have an intimate relationship with anyone and that you will be alone for the rest of your life? This disorder really is ruining my life and sometimes I just think, what's the point? Why don't I just end it all. I'll never be happy.

 

[kittyinthedark]

Benzos aren't a short term crutch, they're a short term tool. A lot of your problem is that you're looking at your situation in such a skewed and pessimistic manner. My bipolar/BPD has totally destroyed my life a hundred times over, but on trial 101, I know I'm gonna do a lot better than on the previous 100. I realize *EXACTLY* how this all is affecting your life because I have the same problem. It sucks, but it's not worth killing yourself over.

And I know how disparaging people can be about mental illness. They say it's just being weak or stupid or unable to control yourself. Or like you said, that it's just a money maker and doctors are preying on your idiocy (yeah, thanks for calling me stupid... friggin assholes...). I went to high school in a neighborhood full of rich people whose children all had something wrong (8)) - the amount of SSRIs and Ritalin in that school was enough to sink a battleship. Because of it, everyone on those drugs assumed that my problems were just the same as theirs - in other words, not bad at all or life-troubling in the least, and when I would have legitimate problems, all I heard was, "You're just using it as a crutch or an excuse. I'm in therapy and on medication too and I *never* have problems like that." It gets fuckin old. So here's a little advice in the form of bitchiness: don't go around pretending like you're the only one that's persecuted. There are lots of assholes in the world, and mental illness still has a pretty major stigma attached. All of us with mental issues have to deal with all the dumbfuck people in the world who are too insensitive or just to stupid to get it. And, unfortunately, there's no real good way to deal with it, so you just have to learn to ignore it.

As for you and benzos: use benzos to *practice*! Go out in public and chat with people on a moderate dose a few times. Go to a party with a little benzo goodness in your veins (but be careful with the alcohol! It's an easy way to black out and do really stupid shit). Juice up a little before giving a class presentation. Then get used to functioning normally in social situations with the drugs as an aid. Rinse lather repeat. Then keep lowering and lowering your dose until you're so used to normal social interaction that you can do it even without the drugs.

 

[Electrolyte]

I really appreciate your advice kittyinthedark. It's good to find someone that relate to my experiences of mental illness.

 

[ebola?]

heh...I have the same disorder and I'm fucking teaching this term...this'll be a blast.

ebola

 

[kittyinthedark]

^Where are you teaching? I need to transfer schools! :D

See, even the most psycho of us can go on to lead fulfilling lives, reading horrible college essays and crying while we grade papers through every waking hour of the day for months and months...

 

[ebola?]

the deluge of essays is yet to come.
I'm doing sociology at UC Berkeley. I actually considered and subsequently visited Wisconsin...'twas not for me, but oddly enough, the weather was splendid during my visit.

ebola

 

[StagnantReaction]

^^ Wanna come teach in Chicago, y'know, the birthplace of US sociology? Would make me wonderfully happy.

I dunno if I want to be a soc major, we'll see..

 

[ebola?]

>>Wanna come teach in Chicago, y'know, the birthplace of US sociology?>>

Indeed...although they still carry the vestiges of the conservative sociology of their hey-day (and by conservative, I mean left-liberal). Berkeley is really the place.

 

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

I have really bad social anxiety, I usually do not say a word to anyone at college unless they ask me a question. I did have to do a class presentation, and used valium and a large dose of poppies to deal with it. It was still not easy. I have to take a public speaking class next semester, and I don't know if I will be able to handle that. It no longer bothers me to be around people I do not know unless I have to talk to them or in front of them, so that is an improvement.

I think I have some kind of personality disorder, I never know how I am supposed to act with other people. I do not think I am normal.

As for work, I have walked out of 3 job interviews because the anxiety was so bad. One of them allowed me to come back later for an interview, and I was hired. I did not do well when I had to answer the phones or talk to customers, but I kept that job for over a year. Their business was not doing well and my boss could not afford to pay any employees so I lost that job 2.5 years ago. Since then, I have worked a couple of temp jobs, but mostly just worked from home repairing and selling computers. Don't have time for a full time job with college anyway.

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

I'd not consider myself socially anxious, but I go to pieces doing class presentations and the like, it's practically natural if you ask me.

A university will make allowances, especially if you have a legitimate medical problem, a college/high school might, depending on the quality of the teachers (I've seen teachers who wouldn't).

I'd advise practicising the shit out of any presentations/interviews you may have to do, with an understanding friend/family member, instead of spending that time worrying about it (harder than it sounds I know )

 

[Enlitx]

I'm an honors biochemistry major at one of the best science school in the country. I'm taking the hardest classes possible, and even after missing 2 months of school my freshman year because of a psychiatric breakdown and some really bad bronchitis, and another 3 weeks at the end of the semester this past year, I still have a 3.1 GPA.

This is off the topic, but what school do you go to? I am also an honors biochemistry major at a major research university, and my school requires a 3.5 GPA to maintain honors status. Just curious.

 

[Ravr]

I suffer from mild social anxiety.

In one of my degress, I am require to work people all the time. So last year most of my profs took it upon themselves to tell me to get my shit together or hit the road.

It was okay, the whole thing thought me to speak out more often and be more sociable.

 

[hoojoo]

Interesting thread. I too suffer from Social anxiety, I was diagnosed with it about 3 weeks ago now. I always knew there was something wrong with me. When I was in primary school I always felt really nervous walking down a corridor or in any sort of public space because I thought people were looking at me. I know it sounds stupid but I think the other SAD sufferers in this thread can relate.

I think the worst thing about having social anxiety is the stress from constantly thinking. Whenever I'm in any social situation I'm always thinking and thinking and thinking, making an enourmous effort to control my behaviour. I've become quite good at presenting a calm and normal facade when internally I'm pretty much always shitting myself.

I'm doing group therapy now so I hope it turns out ok, because this disorder is really holding me back.

Sorry to write all this crap here but you guys are the first people that I have admitted my problem to. You'll probably be the last too.

Are there any meds that are prescribed to control social anxiety or is it just therapy all the way?

 

[Benefit]

SSRIs are commonly prescribed for it, as are other medications.

Consult a psychiatrist.

 

[ebola?]

>>You'll probably be the last too.>>

Not if you get significantly better. (admitting that you're nervous to others is part of therapy via exposure)
...
It looks like I lined my doctor's appointments such that I'll have benzos for my first couple sessions. Teh yey!

 

[kittyinthedark]

This is off the topic, but what school do you go to? I am also an honors biochemistry major at a major research university, and my school requires a 3.5 GPA to maintain honors status. Just curious.

UW-Madison. And yeah, I'm getting booted from the honors program cuz of that 3.1 We're supposed to have a 3.3... I'll be able to reapply, and I'll likely get back in because of my "extenuating circumstances," but it's a total pain in the ass...


And Electrolyte, you still around? Let us know what's up