• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

People are rude.

I have a girl at one of my jobs, who barely knows me, but hates the kind of music I listen to(electro-house =D). Ever since we had a conflict of interest of music, she has treated me like SHIT. She walks away while I'm talking to her. I am incredibly nice to her.

I guess Deadmau5 must have killed her family or something.

haha!
 
Yeah that's a crappy feeling. I do the same thing- if someone friend requests me and they don't seem like a weird perv, I'll add them. If they're annoying or whatever I'll delete them later but for the most part I give everyone a chance. I don't know if the girl didn't recognize me (which I doubt) or just didn't want to talk anymore. I'm not sure but my feelings definitely got hurt. I'll be your friend. :) haha


Sounds good to me!
 
I have a pretty thick skin, but I admit, I recently added a couple people with whom I play volleyball to Facebook, and was somewhat annoyed that they didn't accept my request.

That is a bit odd. You would you think that they would be playing the sport with meeting new people as at least part of the intention. I mean if they just wanted to get fit, they could have just gone to a gym. And if they just wanted to compete, they could have played a real sport, not volleyball. ;)

I realize you could have a million reasons for not adding my name to the 400+ other people you must be really close friends with, but if it's really that big of a deal, make a group where the content of your profile is limited, and throw me there. Don't make me feel like some sort of creepy, need-driven asshole for extending a simple courtesy.

Many people are not very tech savvy. I bet a majority of people on facebook either don't know about that customisable grouping option, or they don't use it. Also, people may have different attitudes towards who they add as a friend on facebook. Some people add people that they've only met once or twice and some people don't.

Now I'm going to avoid you whenever I see you.

I would suggest that you pretend the facebook debacle didn't happen. It seems a bit counter-intuitive. I mean social networking sites are supposed to aid real world relationships, not get in the way of them. If you get do end up getting to know these people better, one day maybe you could bring up the facebook request ("oh hey I tried to add you on facebook, but I don't know if you got it?"). But if you don't get to know them any better, then they're assholes, don't worry about them. :)
 
nb. some people don't understand how facebook notifications work. seriously, i know people who just let those red numbers pile up (to the hundreds!) without even considering clicking on them.
 
i know people who just let those red numbers pile up (to the hundreds!) without even considering clicking on them.

That is pure and unbridled insanity!

(I got flustered one time when I had 4 notifications built up).
 
People aren't considerate of others feelings. It's a fact of life, get some thicker skin, that's what I would recommend.
 
God this thread makes me cringe. I used to be exactly like that and would beat myself up about non-issues like that all the time (not that they're not serious in his world). It almost drove me to suicide.

Now that I'm older it's as if someone flicked a switch in my brain (maybe it was switched by rec. drugs or psychotropic drugs or just plain old maturity, I don't know) and now I really couldn't give a fuck. So if the OP is anything like me he'll eventually realize these things don't matter so much in the grand scheme of things. These ruminations can be dangerous though if you let it get out of control.

I would suggest not using facebook since psychologists have found these so called 'friends' on facebook usually really aren't friends in reality anway. Who really has 100, 200 or 900 friends (real friends I mean)? It makes a mockery of real human interaction anyway. If you speak to someone in real life and they blow you off (as the americans would say lol), then maybe there's a reason to get annoyed, but really facebook interaction is fake, synthesized and unnatural. I haven't even really used facebook before and I don't think I'm missing out.

A company did an interesting advertising promotion once. They said that if you gave up all your facebook friends you could claim a free burger (yes, a measly burger). You would think people would be reluctant to give up their precious friendships and not want to cause offence, but no, they ended up having to stop the promotion because of the rediculous demand. It kind of puts things into perspective, doesn't it?
 
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Something that I picked up in your post that I find interesting... I'm also a really socially distant person. Ironically, I'm much closer to people who live much farther away. I'd assume it has a bit to do with the fact that we don't see each other much and therefore can't get sick of each other so when we do get together, it's only good times. The funny thing that I found interesting, however, is that all your examples... are what I'd PREFER to have happen. The response to your factoid... not so much, but I don't mind when people get shitty with me like that because I'm usually more than willing to get into a battle of wits or insults. I just love to argue. :D

When people say they'll call, I'd prefer they don't. Sometimes I'll not answer my phone and say that I didn't hear it (I'm a shitty person). It's not because I don't like them, but because I'm really VERY closed off and private with people I care not to invest significant time or feelings to.

And I certainly, more often than not, would be fine with someone forgetting plans with me. Just means I get to lounge around and do my own thing.

I prefer to be alone 99% of the time. I don't want a girlfriend. I'd be more than happy without MOST of my friends (yeah there's a couple that I'd keep around to keep me sane). And I'd be happy to never go hang out. :)

This is me to a T. I didn't even realize I was like this until someone pointed it out to me. I was dating a guy who was very social, and he said that I am not close to anyone who I can't keep at arm's distance. Most of the people I talk to are online, and I think it's like you said - I can close the online chat at any time and don't have to catch shit for wanting to go home or not wanting to go out or whatever. I'm not tied to online chats, so I prefer them. If someone chats me up in gmail and I'm not around, no one gets upset, because that's the way it is.

OP, how old are you? I think people go through this period after school where friends aren't available as much anymore. Work, family, whatever get in the way, so it's not all fun and games and they aren't free every weekend, so people see it as rude, when it's just a busy life.
 
I feel the same way a lot of the time too, honestly. I have a few deep relationships, but I just moved 2,000 miles away from all of them. So now it's up to me to make new friends, and I do have several acquaintences and casual friends in my new city, but they are those types of "rude" people you speak of. Instead of sitting there and waiting for them to call me or be nice to me for once, I am proactive. I make my own fun. I either go out and explore on my own and take pictures, or I just talk to random strangers everywhere I go. I want to make new friends so I put myself out there, even if I get rejected, I have nothing to lose. I think being sensitive can be really difficult when you're trying to form relationships. I am an overly sensitive person. But sometimes you have to really take a risk, and say to yourself "I'm cool and I know that, anyone would be lucky to have me in their life". Just pump yourself up, it's not egotistical, you need to have some self confidence. It's like rappelling, that first step over the edge is pretty fucking scary, but after that it isn't so bad. It gets easier each and every time you assert yourself and call someone to invite them to something or be more forceful in making friends. Something that can be cool to do is join meetup groups, like the ones on meetup.com, because they have planned events related to your personal interests, so you know the people won't stand you up lol. I am trying to go to some of those in my new city just so I can have stuff to do and people to talk to. It gets lonely! lol good luck :)
 
This is now the official pic for this thread:

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Maybe this seems silly, but I just can't get over this shit. It fucks with my head. Is anyone else like this? Is the secret to just forgive people? If so, how? :(

Whatever you do, just stay away from the Bluelight lounge.
People love to fuck with your head on a daily basis, and if they spot you as someone that takes things seriously then it would be like a pack of wolves smelling fresh blood.
The whole gang will be up on you.
 
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