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PD Socializing: Where you pop psilocin for headaches and freaky meets cheeky

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^Teenage angst alert.

I want to be much more kind to people, but at the same time I'm worried about coming off as sappy or flaky about it. I want to be kind but genuine at the same time.

I sound like Holden Caulfield, going on and on about phoniness. There's probably a reason that archetypes exist 8)
 
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I also keep deleting my posts and reposting them because I have a primal fear of the
"last edited" byline as if it's a disclaimer that I'm thinking far too much about my posts.

I admit it!
 
Am I the only one who keeps deleting Bluelight from my browser history when I'm tripping? It's like, "fuck this hippy-dippy drug shit, I need to get on with my life." =D
 
Transcendence said:
Benzo free household, unfortunately. I don't have a script, don't know anybody with one, and I feel like it would be in my best interests to keep it that way. But then again, I presume to know way too much about what is good for me and for other people around me. I hate that in people, but I sometimes don't realize that I think that way far too often myself.

A few benzos could sure as hell come in handy, but I know I'll rely on them far too much instead of working out issues constructively.
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I think benzos can be a good thing to have around. I have a script for 30 - 0.25mg xanax pills that gets filled once a year. It's just there for emergencies and utilitarian things such as job interviews even though i don't use it for that purpose anymore. If you're the high strung, naturally anxious type, they really come in handy when they're needed. You just have to know they're there for a specific purpose, not to get messed up.

I really don't like to use alcohol. I am adamant in my belief that it's a vile substance :(.
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I have a love/hate relationship with it. It feels good and i have fun times with people on it but quite often I act like an egotistical jerk and act in a way I wouldn't act sober. The next morning I remember how I was acting the night before and feels gross for having been like that; it's just not me and I hope the people I was with realize it was the alcohol and I'm not really like that.

I am far too presumptuous about people. I'm also not very good at hiding my dislike for somebody or something and often come off as sketchy as a result of just wanting to avoid prolonged social interaction. I need to work at being more straight-forward and transparent I think.
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Me too. :\

Far too much introspection. I just want to relax.
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I get this feeling a lot. I feel too much introspection or introversion leads to being very full of myself and not aware of other people's feelings.

I can I just get this off of my chest: I fucking hate my username :D and I have since shortly after I picked it. Please don't think I don't realize how snotty and full-of-it it sounds.

I was far too high when I registered on this site. What's the opposite of ironic?
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Now that's something I can relate to!!! =D

I joined on a wave of newfound MDMA bliss and was of the mind that I had risen to a new level and wanted to be a "uniter" of the people. I was on a bit of a messianic complex at the time. :\
 
Good evening everybody.



Personally I have really bad social anxiety and still have not figured out how to deal with it usually, you can actually see my heart beating through my shirt if I ever have to speak in front of a group of people....to much introspection indeed, social cues are a complete mystery to me.
 
Now that's something I can relate to!!!
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I worry too much about it...uniter sounds much less assuming than "Transcendence". Much easier to type as well =D

uniter said:
too much introspection or introversion leads to being very full of myself and not aware of other people's feelings.
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I need to repeat this to myself each night before I go to bed :)

Edit: haha, I just realized how ironic that is :D
 
Transcendence said:
I need to repeat this to myself each night before I go to bed :)

Edit: haha, I just realized how ironic that is :D
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It's a vicious cycle eh?

Being one with social anxiety myself I find ti hard to get out of introversion because I find spending time with people for any extended period of time stressful and unenjoyable. I think the reason for this is that I have no one around here that I have things in common with.
 
^ I feel much the same way. Except for one or two close friends, I can't stand hanging around with other people for more than a few minutes. I keep putting myself in other people's shoes and continuing my obsessive [obviously non-objective] analysis from their perspective instead of trying to be sociable in the present.

I too often feel that I don't have anything in common with others around me-- only to be proven wrong time and time again. It just takes a little digging ;). Sometimes I feel frustrated that I don't know enough people that think like me, only to remember "Hey, that's what I'm for!"

And I've sure had enough of myself as it is, so another wouldn't do much good ;)
 
^Hey TAC, re: Vector Lovers, see if you can find the album "Afterglow"....very fitting for that special time :):)

Uniter, posting about gloom is as valid as posting about happiness IMO :) Thats why I love this thread and forum; you can share both troubles and triumphs :):) <3 Sorry to hear you had a panic attack; meditation is the best way to stop them, better then benzo's at least. Be happy....:):)<3
 
^ Yikes, back pain is no fun. Try looking up some good back stretching techniques online - I know there are some that are really helpful for general spinal health.
 
Transcendence said:
^ I feel much the same way. Except for one or two close friends, I can't stand hanging around with other people for more than a few minutes. I keep putting myself in other people's shoes and continuing my obsessive [obviously non-objective] analysis from their perspective instead of trying to be sociable in the present.

I too often feel that I don't have anything in common with others around me-- only to be proven wrong time and time again. It just takes a little digging ;). Sometimes I feel frustrated that I don't know enough people that think like me, only to remember "Hey, that's what I'm for!"

And I've sure had enough of myself as it is, so another wouldn't do much good ;)
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Just want to say.

You sound a lot like me, with a more extreme social anxiety. Maybe from the 2C-I, or not? Idk.

I actually have a big batch of empathy and love for the people around me, but I talk very analytical and blow up small things verbally instead of in my head. Not in a negative way, but I'll just break down the pieces of something to the very simplest- or usually most fucking complicated in the end XD - concepts. Doing this in your head isn't uncommon, but after I did LSD I felt OK with sharing my ideas and stuffz with people. People don't give a fuck, and I'm learning this in the most annoying way. Self concsciousness. Fuck that useless shit.

I'm fully aware of how dumb paranoid self conscioussness really is. But it's basically a mental "disease", I'm trying to say it's outside of me- like a fucking flu or some shit hanging on me. draining me down.

I have nothing but love for my close group of friends. the "crew" I call them <3 haha. I hope everyone has friends like these guys. Anywayz! hahaha these guys know how I am and they tease about it when I do that "thing" where I talk out my head, but they don't really give that much of a fuck about it haha. I just have suddenly been thrown into a horrible self consciouss spiral of self doubt from this- fucking girl. lmao. I'm serious. I can have all these detatched analytical conversations about myself like this, totally humble in my flaws. But this chick brings out the dumbass emotional teenager in my sometimes haha. Funny how it goez.

Just speaking my mind again is all. Just realized this :D Luckily the lady I speak of also is part of this "crew" of friends and knows me pretty well on this shiz. haha. like I said it's a pointless cirlce of self doubt. and I'm making her do the smae damn thing. cute isn't it? haha

i'm not editing the spelling here by the way, it's coming out just as 2C-T-7 wants it to
 
Iv been buzy the last few days and just came to have a look at the chit chat and it seems that we all some how have contracted the same affliction....have all the drugs and books made us expect to much from a non-conscious world, has all this knowledge,love and empathy for humanity turned its self into our pain to further manifest its self into all this anxiety and painc.

"condemned is he with a heart to suffer in a world ruled by man,knowledge shall bring you pain for the answers you seek are held beyond this world"
 
andreas said:
Iv been buzy the last few days and just came to have a look at the chit chat and it seems that we all some how have contracted the same affliction....have all the drugs and books made us expect to much from a non-conscious world, has all this knowledge,love and empathy for humanity turned its self into our pain to further manifest its self into all this anxiety and painc.
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In a way, but I'm thinking maybe the answer is to partially-conform. Adapt to your surroundings, while practicing your values and ideals of course.

That might actually sound way off topic- fuck. Haha, what I mean is that falling for a member of the opposite sex and finding that they aren't on the "same level" as you doesn't mean that they need to "reach" your mindset. It's only different, not "special". It's only inherit positivity comes from it's acceptance of reality as it is, and it's resulting openness to change.

Just random thoughts again
 
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