Hey guys. I just wish to share here if it’s not too unagreeable. I’ll be right up straight.
I actually signed out all forums two days ago with no plans to return.
I’ve gotten into a real true mental and emotional crisis, after again the worst end of line rows with my mum, who is a primary cause of my anxiety condition.
I can’t eat and digest food, because of permanent anxiety and properly on edge nerves.
I’m in a truly drastic frame of mind atm. Which is too unbearable I need to just escape it anyhow, or I’ll just stew in fear and go mad.
I’m actively planning, seriously, basic backpack of essentials for a comfortable enough death, not exactly- suicide, but an anxiety free fast to death in peaceful nature.
I’ve longed to have the option of death for many years, really not directly or significantly drug related, but I won’t leave shit to tidy up on my mum”s doorstep if I can help it.
I really see no alternative.
It’s an abnormally extreme state of distress, despair.
I thought about, what the hell, actually taking the legit Dutch Bowser 220 mg MDMA pills I fear May flatline me with my ultra sensitive Nervous System and overreaction to stimulants.
I really don’t want to die a painful death on ecstasy, just yet. Maybe later though (not dying from it lol, just gambling, it might be alright.
But I decided, Im going to plug a huge dose of acid.
I just removed one of the tab jars from the fridge 40 mins ago before I can open happily.
Normally, in such extreme states of mental distress, LSD is unadvised.
But not always.
I’m thinking a straight up 10 tabs, 1 mg, as these tabs are so well laid I swear again.
I’m not exactly up to it physically at all but I’m neither up to mentally passing the night and tomorrow going forward in life either so I figure it’s worth a gamble.
I sometimes use “oracle cards” for interest and fun, below is the answers I got, usually at these times, uncannily too, I get…Take. Your time making this decision.
Below were the 3 cards tonight in order.
Plus the room temp warming jar.
Getting very close to plug time, if I go through with this, already 75 grams Kava and loads weed today but I’m figuring if I just dose hi enough it could knock me out into a kind of I’m conscious abyss.
As long as it doesn’t swing into a magnification of my current mental state and hence a really gruelling trip but even if it does it’s hardly going to be worse than where I will be out otherwise at this moment going through the next few days at the very least.
My relationship with my mum has reached virtual breaking point if not beyond that a long time ago.
If anybody sees this and has a really quick easy answer for this I did plug LSD before about 30 tabs up to 600 ug. I’m assuming it is correct to not insert the tabs beyond the rectum entrance, into the colon, but just short.
If otherwise, please enlighten me.
I’m extremely tired, but think I will go ahead, take what comes.
Sorry if this is simply glum guys, and really sorry for the asshole I’ve been really last few months or more.
I hope to update.
Haha, I forgot, last pic was today’s horrific steam inhalation allergy lung clearance.
Just one of many stressors leading me here after so long.
Not a cry for help btw, just a coping measure that’s all.
to 
and acting like they in famine. After some sushi and rice at your place, it's probably off to number 36 for steak and chips.
I'm glad you're choosing to take LSD instead of a high dose of MDMA as a life or death gamble. Life is full of ups and down and sometimes the downs seem so inescapable, but it always goes back up again. It's a rollercoaster. I think you should listen to the cards you pulled. Be kind to yourself, and perhaps it is time to make a commitment, maybe there is something in your life that it would be beneficial to change? Sometimes anxiety is a signal we give ourselves to let us know something needs to be addressed.