"God Mode"
I did some reading and read anecdotes regarding dysphoria from IV 4-aco-dmt fumarate, but that it rarely appears with higher dosages. And so I really wanted to experience the true power of the substance and so I experimented with this again--for three days straight, and had MUCH better results than my first time. I've reached God mode with this substance after IV'ng 50mg three times over three days. I'm not saying this is safe or an intelligent thing to do, but I do not regret it by any means. I need to take a long break while I integrate and examine my experiences. The first time time I felt an electrical distortion in my hearing, at a frequency I have never been able to hear before -- MAGICAL -- and it zipped forward into a feeling I can only call a ting. If you've experienced a ting, then you know what it is. lol thought I might have really done it this time! I thought I was going to die. But I wasn't. I was laying in my bed -- aware of the bed, and yet out of body --- wandering around my house looking at the sparkles that dazzled in constantly changing colors, my heart was so happy but I was doing ridiculous, just horrible things! I can't even remember all the stupid and nuts shit I did -- thank god I was just laying their physically, but spiritually, so to speak -- I was killing myself. I think that was ego death? I've always wondered if I'd experience and I think was it. I was crushing arginine and vitamin c and just ridiculous shit into fine, fine powder and dissolving it and shooting it in my veins. I could see with crystal clarity every thing, and my vision had no limit. I could see as far as into the universe as I wanted -- I mean, it was God mode.
The second time I lost color vision completely -- everything was the most dynamically bright white, and yet still with perfect clarity, like alien-technology illumination, but color-blind --- and then immediately afterword, in the highest resolution I've ever seen -- the fastest slideshow of everything I've ever known, (this time in color) and frankly, it was beautiful, but this time I felt surrounded by everything and everyone because I was aware of everything, and it made me a bit neurotic. And I realized I was kinda tweaking out. And it lasted about half as long (only three hours). I'm typing this after my first sleep in over three days, during which while I was sober I was serving at my church, and otherwise I was achieving an experience I have never before experienced. I think I instantly became addicted to ego loss.
The third time, I was so sleep-deprived and neurotic from what some would call (not I--I sincerely thought I knew what I was doing, for the record) substance abuse -- but anyway, before I started typing this I took two huge rips from my bong (marijuana) and it is the most euphoric high I've had from THC. I am also very hungry. Oh yeah -- the first time I did the 50mg IV I was hit with a body load that felt like hypoglycemia, and I ate about quarter pound bag of sugar. AHHHHH it was insane, because it was like it was exactly what supercharged my 4-aco-dmt. OMG omg -- right now as I've got eye wiggles and the sparkles again, from THC!
I was going to post a photo of the Rush poster that was really amazing in it's true depth. What I'm trying to say is that I saw it with 4-dimensional acuity, and I remembered the dream I had when I was in the army with malaria and hallucinating that I met the band, and I got a chance to play with The Who, but that later all changed and I killed somebody and framed another person. It's a long story. I'll tell you some time if we meet in person. Let me make this clear: this was all a dream. This is all a dream.
I never did tell you what happened the third time. I was just so bloody tired and neurotic at this point that I just went into a sedated, almost dissociated state and invited my girl over, and just talked while I came down and she massaged me to sleep and I woke up and she'd friggin CLEANED my house for me and bought me food. I'm a DAMN lucky guy.
Wow. But I'm healthy today -- went to work, painted, got a lot of shit done -- moved the neighbors couch out. I even had visitors yesterday while I was in God mode. Every one of them was kind enough not to bring it up, but I had this grin and my eyes were completely zonked -- I was watching my pupils ripple all around the edges and the more I gazed into my own eyes, the further I lost myself into the ether.
Anyway, this might qualify as a trip report, but if I may, I'd like to keep a copy of this in the Swirly. I want to do it again tonight. But I know I can't. I mean, I could. I kind of think I need to stop. Thoughts?
Oh yes, one more thing: the flavor of the stuff after you inject, isn't that something!?
