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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Tripping Thread: Euphoric Rambles for Swirling Souls

Xorkoth said:
My girl wants to eat acid with me (she's never done it before) and she wants to take MDMA with me soon, she had a weak MDMA experience many years ago that nevertheless was impactful for her. She's never had a proper roll, but she suffers from PTSD and she's really interested in the emotional opening effects. She's perfectly open and wonderful with me, but with others she has a hard time really opening up and being fully present in social situations except with a few choice really close friends. She's looking to change that. I am looking forward to being her guide, and in general to having a loving, beautiful experience with her. :) <3

So far we've just eaten mushrooms together and it was weak... she's never had a real trip, just threshold experiences. She knows I trip a lot and she's always asking me about it, she's really interested in having a full experience.
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Xorkoth, I think my gf also suffers from PTSD. She has taken psychedelics and MDMA, we took MDMA together but it haven't really helped her. I think she has opened up to me more sober than on drugs about the stuff that caused it. It's been rough man but I understand her better than she can even imagine. Any advice if you've been through similar stuff..? I see that everytime she does drugs her symptoms get worse afterwards for a while. I feel like I've found peace in my life and want her to get the same feeling. It's a slow process and if I hadn't used heroic doses of psychedelics and dissociatives and studied social psychology this would've been over already. But I see her for who she really is and want to help her.
 
I think my girl has come to terms with it in many ways, she is pretty stable, especially in how she externalizes stuff... like we've never been in a fight even once, because we both don't do anything bad to each other and neither of us lashes out when we feel our insecurities flare up, because we realize that's our own shit. Hers stems from her dad being really overbearing and intense (yelling, controlling, etc, I think he hit them a few times too, she mentioned it once though not sure) when she was young, plus a really intense divorce of her parents and then her mom basically just running away to Hawaii, leaving them all and never coming back (she visits her mom sometimes and they're pretty close but that's gotta be intense, to have your mom just run away when you're like 9 years old). She is extremely quiet (like the volume of her voice, it's hard to hear her sometimes even, in the car I have to turn the music off or there is no chance I can understand what she's saying) and her main issue is, she feels like she doesn't know what she wants from life and doesn't know how to be assertive to get it. Loud noises make her shut down too, if someone is yelling or excessively angry she will get extremely uncomfortable. I honestly wouldn't have thought she had PTSD but she says the symptoms fit her internal reality perfectly. I think she struggles a lot but she is great at not externalizing it or putting it on others, which I really admire about her. I think her dad putting his shit on her/her siblings made her vow to never put her shit on other people. She has periods of time (generally related to her menstrual cycle) where she is really happy and periods where she is depressed to the point of crying, saying she feels out of place in the world, useless, etc. I think she always is a little depressed deep down. part of it that her dad paid for her to go to college but for some reason he decided he would only do it if she got an art history degree. She didn't want to get one but she wanted to go to college, so she went. She had a super stressful time in college because of it, she wanted to study biology and work with conservation or something with nature like that. But she feels like she can't now, she is unwilling to go back to school because she said it drained her so much last time she couldn't handle doing it again, and she has no interest in doing anything with her art history degree (talk about a strange field of study to force your daughter to do...). So she's kinda stuck in this limbo of having throwaway part-time jobs, trimming buds for 2 months a year to make a big chunk of money, and not really knowing what to do with her time besides that.

I will say when she took mushrooms with me she got pretty down for a day or so afterwards and she told me it always happens with mushrooms. But she did have a good MDMA experience which she told me helped her to open up in a permanent way, but it was not a full experience and she wants to do it again and go farther.

Not sure exactly how to help you out, sounds like maybe a bit of a different situation, I don't know. I think my girlfriend's PTSD stuff manifests as shyness, inability to assert herself if at all intimidated, and difficulty getting close to people besides a select few, and a lack of confidence in her own abilities/worth. I just try to build her up and make her feel good about herself, and always be there to talk if she wants to. I never try to get her to talk about it if she's not trying to.
 
Yeah I try to do that too now that I understand how sensitive she is, one word can change anything. I feel that she also projects a lot of her stuff to me but she understands that. I let her open up and don't push it, it will all come out piece by piece. She is always fearing the worst unlike me, I'm an eternal optimist. I really believe in the Law of Attraction.
 
Some of that is age/maturity... I think as we age, we (hopefully) start to learn about when we are projecting and when not, younger people have a harder time preventing themselves from putting their shit on other people unfairly. I met my girlfriend when I was 31 and she was 28, so we were both past that stage already. Which is fucking nice, don't have to have all that baggage now.
 
She is 25, I'm 24. She's also a mother. She really opened my eyes and I will never forget it.

Now I know what this song is about, it's been one of my favorites since MXE days and I never knew why.

 
xammy that link is broken for me but i found a nice live version on youtube. i love it when the metallic percussion comes in. the tone of the singer's voice reminds me a lot of natalie merchant.
 
going to my wife's office Xmas party this evening. thinking of taking a little 2c-b-fly (5-10mg). will I just be annoyed by peripheral effects? looking to add a little warmth and humor to the evening... maybe 5mg nasal ... don't want to get rushy or anxious tho...
 
Haha no way I would take a psychedelic in such a situation (I'm assuming you are not really close to your wife's co-workers, and also that it won't be a wild party, but maybe I'm wrong). Even if I wasn't tripping hard I would get paranoid about dilated pupils or any weird behaviour. Low dose phenethylamines are also uncomfortable most of the time IME. But I haven't tried 2C-B-FLY so I can't really say.
 
I've never had 2cb-fly so can't really answer about that drug specifically.
I don't like taking 5ht psychedelics in social settings unless it's a psychedelic friendly environment like a festival or concert becuase psychs usually make it hard for me to socialize, I prefer to sit quietly and focus on the effects
. For something like a Xmas party I would do 3 meo pcp.
 
I use low dose 5ht psychs pretty regularly in some social situations for a little added humor and sparkle. but more like concerts and comedy shows with not a lot of face to face. usually just a little uncomfortable on the come up.

I am having the urge today but it doesn't seem like a great idea... i tried 5mg insufflated on a family vacation with unhip in-laws and it was decent. but we went hiking so I could burn off the residual stim and interactions weren't too direct...

phenibut would be great but I am saving that for tomorrow. best freaking sex ever.
 
I would rather take a disso than a phen in your situation axnow. Maybe easier totalk to random people about random bullshit?
 
thanks guys, good advice. just had a couple glasses of wine and some good conversation. my wife is a middle school teacher and all of her colleagues appreciate and admire her. I was proud.

blue dream is a nice strain. just hanging out working my way through noz's top 50 rap songs of 2016 list. I never really got young thug until I heard pacifier, that song bangs. I love Jamaican slang.
 
Hopefully going hiking tommorrow (in the cold and wind, BUT it is supposed to actually be sunny so hell yah) and will probably be taking a tab of ALD-52. Havent had any lysergamides in 6 months probably. Plus some 3 meo pce, how much I will know after seeing how the 30mg dose I just plugged hits.

Please let it just be sunny tommorrow :-)
 
Xork, a few weeks into my assessment of tobacco, I'm starting to see what you mean about always feeling bad after using it. I get an unnerving tightness in my chest, mostly. It is also pretty remarkable how negatively it can impact sleep, if I use it too close to bedtime. I haven't noticed much of an issue if I use a single, conservative dose, and then resist temptation to redose. At this point I wouldn't feel comfortable using it more than a couple times a week, and I think I'll save it for the occasions when it seems to be of greatest utility, for example when I want to curb the paranoid thoughts that can occur on strong cannabis highs.

I'm still glad I made a point to investigate it, though. It's quite a nice little addition to my psychoactive toolbox.
 
TAC, I love snus and I can get very compulsive with it. it will totally screw up your sleep. many nights I have sat up drunk listening to hip-hop and chain dipping snus. gets into this zombie half fulfilled state, gross. in moderation I like it but it makes me anxious on the comedown.

took 1.5g phenibut today to moderate success. I can see this is a road I shouldn't travel.

plugged 5mg 2cb-fly with a sprinkle of 3meopce. pretty nice. I love my wife.
 
Has anyone else gotten significant increases to creativity when taking gabapentin/Neurontin™? Seems like an odd one I know, and I'm talking about high doses, approximating the medically acceptable MDD of 3,600mg/day, taken at once, rather than divided, as is the usual medical practice (although the effects I'm speaking of seem to last 8-10 hours) -- there isn't really an appreciable stoning or intoxication that I find in taking it, although a definitive relaxation, but, when putting my mind to creative pursuits, an almost automatic flow of inspiration tends to come, or rather, more of a removal of barriers to the same. This has helped me in writing some writing I am currently working on considerably as there is certain psychic blocks to writing about certain things which, while not necessarily autobiography, do bring up some difficult emotional states to me; gabapentin seems to erase this, but, moreover, in a general way, to increase general creativity; on the other hand, one might argue that a great measure of creativity is in fact born of psychological distress and thus the effects are one and the same.

Familiar to anyone?
 
Yeah but it seems like a double edged sword (from pregabalin that is)... higher doses tend to make me go catatonic a bit eventually, but before that point I do experience more flow. That's one of the main reasons I use it for. Not just anxiety, but tense cramped stuckness that prevent me from getting any sort of flow going, getting hung up or upset easily. It's not that things don't affect me anymore, but I don't get so stuck anymore with lyrica.

Unfortunately I am having parasthesia in my left hand since I started again on it and I don't know if it's mostly the lyrica or the dexamph I'm prescribed that is causing it (or if it's even one of those, but I'm confident it is), or the combination.

More on point: dexamph and pregabalin do dumb me down in a way, narrow my view or make it more linear - so it impedes creativity... but without them I am so preoccupied and struggling with chaos that I can't reliably do much with my creativity, so I believe the meds are to be preferred... but I wouldn't like to go much higher with them or it might become counterproductive overall..
 
I also find certain GABAergics (though I have seen this written as GABAminergic which sounds like even more of a neologism) stimulate creativity. Especially GHB, though even diazepam has done so. It helps me create 'music', the most enjoyable lo-fi shit I've made was on GHB (and dex). For me, I think its because I dismiss my ideas too quickly, I discard them or consider them not worth pursuing. On GHB, I tend to be able to lose myself a bit more and have more freedom to experiment, which is all I want to do with music now.

Never had gabapentin though so can't comment.

xammy said:
She is 25, I'm 24. She's also a mother. She really opened my eyes and I will never forget it.

Now I know what this song is about, it's been one of my favorites since MXE days and I never knew why.
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Weird, that song (and the below) were me and Miss Swilow's songs. We used to play them and just love each other <3



Music is so beautiful. I know you guys don't really dig metal, but this song (hey, Finnish legends Nightwish) is so powerful to me. There is such a beautiful middle section, possibly a harp and some pipes and it takes me home. But the main verse riff is brilliant.

And the intro- fuck you modern world, I hate you I hate you. You'll never take me alive. I imagine defiant Irishmen shaking their fists in rage at the theft of their everything.

 
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