☮ Social ☮ PD Social Tripping Thread: aLL aBoArD tHe MoThErShiP 👽🛸

[SuperPsych]

Had a great night last night. Did DMXE throughout the day and evening. Saw my best friend to drop him off some goodies then I took the train back into the city to wait for my girlfriend to get away from band practice. Did a few more bumps of DMXE while walking around the city. Got some coffee, went to the book store, got a book on meditation and a copy of Pihkal. Walked around the city more off my gourd on DMXE, spray painted some shit. Rode the train to where I needed to meet my girlfriend then we rode back together to her apartment back in the city.

She knows I enjoy dissociatives a lot. This is the first time I did any in front of her. She seems very understanding that they are how I like to unwind duuring the weekend. I dont like alcohol, I have been in hard core drug addiction before but still like to have SOMETHING. So as long as I stay off of the stimulants and opioids and benzos, she seems to be okay with it, which is nice and really refreshing. She's not at all judgemental about it. She really loves Weed and Alcohol. Alcohol effects me like poison and weed triggers panic attacks, so I explained to her that dissociatives are sort of to me what alcohol is to the rest of society.

Despite me being on DMXE and her being stoned and drunk, we seemed to end up riding the same wavelength. We had absolutely fantastic sex for about 6 or 7 hours, all through the night. We've been having absoluutely superb sex since our first date but this was a whole other level. She couuld tell the effect that DMXE was having on me and she definitely enjoyed it. Was able to go all night without climaxing, so we just played with each other all damn night. The DMXE helped me get deeper into the fantasy as well as enhancing the spiritual connection. I was much more creative with the love making, and I typically pride myself for my creative abilities regardless, so this was simply amazing. I also found it easier to vocalize and say what I thought she'd want to hear. Typically I dont talk much while having sex because I feel cringey like I;m trying to be a pornstar, but last night it all came very naturally. I really think it was the best sex that either of us have ever had. Woke up this morning and had some great cuddles and talks and more sex. Like, since day one we have gotten along swimmingly, and with each visit we seem to fall deeper in love and get a greater understanding of one another, but something happened last night that I cant explain. I feel like the spiritual bond we share has become 3 times stronger over night. Goddamn, I love this girl

So yeah, DMXE is a top tier sex drug.

 

[SuperPsych]

I've been feeling pretty crappy today, but I drank quite a bit last night trying to get comfortable. I'm definitely experiencing some rebound stuff from the flubromazepam I was doing, and also may have picked up a bit of gabapentin withdrawal, but I can't tell because gabapentin helps with benzo rebound anyway. I didn't take any yesterday but I have taken 1200mg today (which is a solid dose) and I still feel just kinda bad, but it's mostly physically, which could very well just be a simple everyday hangover.

Anyway I just did a little bump of MXE, I rarely think of dissos as something to relax and feel good at the end of the day, usually I'm at a festival or a show or something when I use them, these days. I bet that will make me feel a bit better. I think it already is.

It's not too bad, but I was feeling a good bit of anxiety before the gabapentin. Now it's only a little bit of anxiety, but I just feel down in general, and crappy. I was able to function at work but not at 100%... I had a long 2 hour meeting I just got done with, to talk with my team about the development milestones we need to meet, and I felt somewhat awkward and self-conscious talking... which does not happen to me when I'm feeling normal.

Meh. Alcohol is so toxic, I hate that about it. But it's the one addictive drug I can actually use pretty much every night to ease withdrawals or whatever this is. But damn it starts to take a toll on the body. My digestion and stomach have been feeling gross all day, and my body has been achey.

This year my goal is to get out of this drug-induced hole and get past all my dependencies. Mainly suboxone, but at least with that, I just don't feel anything from it, positive or negative (well, other than a general negativity that opiate addiction causes)... I don't have interdose withdrawals or anything. But I've been flirting with gaba- and gabapentinoid-ergic dependencies again and that is not a good thing.

I hope that and I have faith that you'll be able to climb out of this hole. you seem to have great self awareness which will go a long way in helping you. I know that you're a fan of Phenibut and dose every 2-3 days or so. Have you been doing that as well as the flubromazepam? And are you using phenibut now along with the gabapentin? You are incredibly smart and know Phenibut probably better than I do, so you dont need me telling you this, but if so then it's probably not helping with the flubromazepam situation. At least not for now. I hope that the gabapentin doesnt give you too much grief and that you can taper easily. Cant say I've been addicted to any gabapentoid besides phenibut but I hear the withdrawal is awful. I know that Phenibut withdrawal was rather shitty.

I hope that the MXE treats you well and that it provides some relief! Such a special chemical. I'm doing a little more DMXE today myself despite going a bit overboard last night, but I've got a 3 day weekend and am gonna enjoy it to the fullest. I tend to do this the first weekend after getting new stuff in. Gonna lock it up tonight until next weekend.

I am right there with you in terms of Suboxone. My main goal this year is getting off of it. This last year I've worked from 16mg down to 4mg. This year I hope to go from 4mg - 0mg. I hate being opioid dependent. Not a great feeling. Then I'll just have to be real vigilant and careful not to fall back into Kratom use which is why I'm on suboxone in the first place. I'm glad that Kratom is legal, but I sure wish it wasnt available every other block.

 

[Xorkoth]

That's funny (well, not funny), kratom is why I'm on suboxone, too. I get so addicted to kratom, it was my first opioid love, and the only one I did for like 6 years, starting back in 2003. I did so much of it, it stopped working, and I moved on to harder opiates. But to this day, I get withdrawals from it almost immediately. And I fall into this usage pattern where I never feel good, I either feel almost normal, but still slightly withdrawaly, when I've just done some, or I am fully feeling withdrawals. I get cranky and moody and it just sucks so much, but the restlessness is so bad, and despite it not doing much for me in a positive sense, I compulsively redose to try to feel okay. And then I start relapsing on stronger opiates so I can get a period of time of actually feeling good. I'd get some suboxone, like a handful of pills or strips, to try to break the kratom cycle. Then back to kratom, or something else. Last time, it was pods, I went through about 10 pounds of them after ordering a small amount as a "one time treat". That was what got me to finally get a prescription for suboxone. Since then, I can't do other opiates because they won't break through suboxone. And now that it's been a good 6-7 months, I am not even thinking about opiates, sometimes I eve forget to take my suboxone because I don't actually feel it, and then I'll start getting watery eyed and remember.

MXE is a great antidepressant. I feel the best I've felt in a while. I feel a better sense of perspective over some things that have been bothering me, and I feel more at ease and light-hearted. I did two ~10-15mg bumps over the course of a couple of hours... just did another, and I'm gonna go read in bed for a while.

Regarding the phenibut, yeah I used to take it every 2-3 days, but I don't anymore, I use it much more sparingly.

I'm glad that you had such a great time It sounds like you're in a special place right now.

 

[SuperPsych]

That's funny (well, not funny), kratom is why I'm on suboxone, too. I get so addicted to kratom, it was my first opioid love, and the only one I did for like 6 years, starting back in 2003. I did so much of it, it stopped working, and I moved on to harder opiates. But to this day, I get withdrawals from it almost immediately. And I fall into this usage pattern where I never feel good, I either feel almost normal, but still slightly withdrawaly, when I've just done some, or I am fully feeling withdrawals. I get cranky and moody and it just sucks so much, but the restlessness is so bad, and despite it not doing much for me in a positive sense, I compulsively redose to try to feel okay. And then I start relapsing on stronger opiates so I can get a period of time of actually feeling good. I'd get some suboxone, like a handful of pills or strips, to try to break the kratom cycle. Then back to kratom, or something else. Last time, it was pods, I went through about 10 pounds of them after ordering a small amount as a "one time treat". That was what got me to finally get a prescription for suboxone. Since then, I can't do other opiates because they won't break through suboxone. And now that it's been a good 6-7 months, I am not even thinking about opiates, sometimes I eve forget to take my suboxone because I don't actually feel it, and then I'll start getting watery eyed and remember.

MXE is a great antidepressant. I feel the best I've felt in a while. I feel a better sense of perspective over some things that have been bothering me, and I feel more at ease and light-hearted. I did two ~10-15mg bumps over the course of a couple of hours... just did another, and I'm gonna go read in bed for a while.

Regarding the phenibut, yeah I used to take it every 2-3 days, but I don't anymore, I use it much more sparingly.

I'm glad that you had such a great time It sounds like you're in a special place right now.

Thats basically my opioid story too, well my severe opioid addiction started when I was living with my now ex-gf and her father was diagnosed with cancer and there was just more morphine around the house than we knew what to do with. Well, we knew what to do with it which was the problem. Fun fact, I tried to cold turkey a 100mg Morphine/day habit because I was tired of it, so I went back to my dad's for a few days to try to kick. The first night went alright but I started to notice a little rash, second day the rash got worse and on day 3 it was awful and screaming and I had my ex-gf's mom pick me up to bring me back to their place so I could get some morphine. The withdrawal had triggered a case of shingles which is very painful and apparently uncommon to get in your early 20's. I had nerve pain for a year or two after that. But after that Kratom is what always got me back into opioids. Had a short stint with heroin, luckily before the fentanyl had really hit the west coast. Went to treatment again, then came out it basically into the Covid pandemic and then i was on Kratom again. I'm the same sort of Kratom user. I never quite feel good on it but I compulsively use it to try to feel okay. Suboxone has helped a lot but I can't wait to get off of this crap. I feel like it really effected how my endogenous endorphins affect me. Music didn't hit the same, I had no sex drive, everything seemed boring as hell. Now that I'm down to 4mg things are a little better, but who knows? I've also been deeply depressed for the last 15 years until these last few months. It's hard to see what is the effect of the medicine and what are the effects of my mental health. It's one big clusterfuck. But I sure am looking forward to being off of suboxone, hopefully by 2024.


I'm so happy to hear that the MXE did what it does best for you
It's not the same, but I've been doing DMXE the past 2 days and I feel a similar shift in my perspective. Things are looking better. I'm feeling better about being okay with doing the uncomfortable when I know that the results will ultimately be better for me in the end. I wish the very best for the both of us

Also happy to hear that your phenibut use is more restricted these days What book are you working on? I've finally started reading again after a long dry spell. I've hopped off of social media which is an addiction in its own and the results have been astounding. Just finished my first book in years

 

[Mjäll]

Personally i put like 7-9 carts into each balloon for me and my girlfriend. They are roughly the same size as the balloons you would get at Shakedown Street. Doing one cart is a waste of time to me you will barely get anywhere close to where you wanna be. Its better to have a massive balloon you can nurse and take what you need. The punch balloons are great for that cuz they are so durable.

How big are these balloons? Do they really fit 7-9 carts? It's about 60grams of gas.

I used to try cramming 2 carts into a 0,5L dispenser, but it starts leaking from the nozzle and that's a waste. Could be similar with balloons.

 

[cosmic charlie]

Just type in punching balloon when you order them off amazon, you can blow them up twice the size of in this picture easily if not more. They are alot thicker than regular balloons so you dont have to worry about them exploding.

Its safer to use balloons then straight from a dispenser. The gas comes out really cold and also the oil/gunk coats the balloon, you can out a huge amount of carts in like i do and you can really go deep. My dispenser hold two-three if done but i think thats pushing it, i generally just release the case from each cart as i go into the balloons.

The most i ever put in them is ten cartridges i think, my girlfriend complains if i dont give her a huge one, or makes a stink if mines bigger

 

[Xorkoth]

Thats basically my opioid story too, well my severe opioid addiction started when I was living with my now ex-gf and her father was diagnosed with cancer and there was just more morphine around the house than we knew what to do with. Well, we knew what to do with it which was the problem. Fun fact, I tried to cold turkey a 100mg Morphine/day habit because I was tired of it, so I went back to my dad's for a few days to try to kick. The first night went alright but I started to notice a little rash, second day the rash got worse and on day 3 it was awful and screaming and I had my ex-gf's mom pick me up to bring me back to their place so I could get some morphine. The withdrawal had triggered a case of shingles which is very painful and apparently uncommon to get in your early 20's. I had nerve pain for a year or two after that. But after that Kratom is what always got me back into opioids. Had a short stint with heroin, luckily before the fentanyl had really hit the west coast. Went to treatment again, then came out it basically into the Covid pandemic and then i was on Kratom again. I'm the same sort of Kratom user. I never quite feel good on it but I compulsively use it to try to feel okay. Suboxone has helped a lot but I can't wait to get off of this crap. I feel like it really effected how my endogenous endorphins affect me. Music didn't hit the same, I had no sex drive, everything seemed boring as hell. Now that I'm down to 4mg things are a little better, but who knows? I've also been deeply depressed for the last 15 years until these last few months. It's hard to see what is the effect of the medicine and what are the effects of my mental health. It's one big clusterfuck. But I sure am looking forward to being off of suboxone, hopefully by 2024.

Wow, we really have so many similarities, it's crazy. My relapse was from when my dad had ALS and it was the last time I saw him alive (I live 750 miles away), and I knew it would be, and he knew it, and it was a horrible night that night and my mom handed me an almost empty bottle of morphine solution to throw away (I still can't believe she would do that... she knows about my history, but I guess she never really saw it since I only visit a few times a year and am always highly functional and hide things well).

Suboxone has also destroyed my sex drive. I mean I'm also 39, but it has never been so low and it clearly is largely because of the suboxone. My mood is also pretty flatlined in general... all opioids do that to me when I'm addicted, though. Morphine is probably the best one for my mood, or rather, poppies/opium. On that, I can feel actually happy and content and even a bit euphoric every day, but the withdrawals are very severe and nothing touches it, suboxone at 16mg doesn't even stop them, it just makes them bearable.

I didn't realize withdrawal could trigger shingles, jesus! That sounds horrible. yeah it's really uncommon to get shingles in your 20s, for sure. Although, weird fact, my friend's son has had 2 shingles outbreaks, and he's 11, the first one was when he was 6.

Also happy to hear that your phenibut use is more restricted these days What book are you working on? I've finally started reading again after a long dry spell. I've hopped off of social media which is an addiction in its own and the results have been astounding. Just finished my first book in years

I'm reading Malice, of The Faithful and the Fallen series, by John Gwynne. It's epic fantasy, which is my favorite genre of book to read. I read voraciously and have probably read a thousand pages so far since the start of the year, and I'm going pretty slow compared to usual because I've been unusually tired and am falling asleep faster than normal (I often have to read in bed for 2 or 3 hours before I can fall asleep). I have a small library of books, most of which are epic fantasy, and have read a lot of them 2 or 3 times over the years. I love epic fantasy because a good author creates a world that is fascinating and entertaining to read about, and the story contains so much character development since it spans 3 to 12 or even more books, typically. And it contains insights about ethics, sociology, psychology, anthropology, and spirituality.

What did you just read?

 

[porkstock]

I like reading science fiction for all those reasons. You can get the best of any genre (story/plot, character development) but you also get the added bonus of alien worlds and outer space. And the best authors have great insight into culture, ethics, philosophy, etc. like you said.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah, exactly. I prefer epic fantasy, but I guess just because it's my background, and I know so many fantastic works and authors. I haven't read as much science fiction, but it's the same idea. Deep insights into the human condition, wrapped into an incredibly fascinating and entertaining world and story. Something to truly get lost in. Great for escapism, too, but a more healthy sort of escapism.

 

[porkstock]

For some reason I get thrown by fairies, sorcerers, mages, all the typical fantasy terms. But I honestly haven't given it a fair chance, I'm just stuck in my ways maybe

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah a lot of it has that stuff, but there are some authors I have read recently that don't have any of the classic fantasy tropes and have built really unique worlds. There's one I just finished, who is writing more in that world, that takes place in a thousand years post apocalyptic Europe, so like 1000 years past some time in our future, after a nuclear armageddon. I guess it kinda rides the edge of sci-fi and fantasy. There is a technology that you don't find out about until way into it, that changed the physics of reality and made it possible for people to exercise their will over things, ie, magic. But they exist in a medieval sort of technological state, except there are remnants of the "builders'" technology remaining, and some funny references to stuff like parking garages and malls that they use as castles.

 

[SuperPsych]

Wow, we really have so many similarities, it's crazy. My relapse was from when my dad had ALS and it was the last time I saw him alive (I live 750 miles away), and I knew it would be, and he knew it, and it was a horrible night that night and my mom handed me an almost empty bottle of morphine solution to throw away (I still can't believe she would do that... she knows about my history, but I guess she never really saw it since I only visit a few times a year and am always highly functional and hide things well).

Suboxone has also destroyed my sex drive. I mean I'm also 39, but it has never been so low and it clearly is largely because of the suboxone. My mood is also pretty flatlined in general... all opioids do that to me when I'm addicted, though. Morphine is probably the best one for my mood, or rather, poppies/opium. On that, I can feel actually happy and content and even a bit euphoric every day, but the withdrawals are very severe and nothing touches it, suboxone at 16mg doesn't even stop them, it just makes them bearable.

I didn't realize withdrawal could trigger shingles, jesus! That sounds horrible. yeah it's really uncommon to get shingles in your 20s, for sure. Although, weird fact, my friend's son has had 2 shingles outbreaks, and he's 11, the first one was when he was 6.



I'm reading Malice, of The Faithful and the Fallen series, by John Gwynne. It's epic fantasy, which is my favorite genre of book to read. I read voraciously and have probably read a thousand pages so far since the start of the year, and I'm going pretty slow compared to usual because I've been unusually tired and am falling asleep faster than normal (I often have to read in bed for 2 or 3 hours before I can fall asleep). I have a small library of books, most of which are epic fantasy, and have read a lot of them 2 or 3 times over the years. I love epic fantasy because a good author creates a world that is fascinating and entertaining to read about, and the story contains so much character development since it spans 3 to 12 or even more books, typically. And it contains insights about ethics, sociology, psychology, anthropology, and spirituality.

What did you just read?

I'm sorry to hear about that night with your father. I completely understand you're decision. I would have done the exact same thing in that situation.

You are completely right about the similarities in our story. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was around 6 years old and she fought it very hard until I was 17 and she passed away. I got into opioids shortly after. She had a lot of pharmaceuticals around the house. I know she had opioids, Vyvanse and lorazepam. I'm thankful for this fact, as a teenager already struggling with addiction and having those drugs around the house, I never took any of hers. I smoked weed, abused DXM and DPH relentlessly during my teenage years because I could easily shoplift it. If I had spare cash I'd find adderall to buy at school. My mom knew I had started smoking weed and it terrified her. She was super anti-drug and didn't want to see her son become an addict, ironically enough. But I knew my dad was sharp and knew exactly how much medication she had and therefore I never dared try to nab any. Little did I know at the time, my dad was using what he could to medicate himself out of the stash. My dad's an addict and had always hid it from my mom and was so good at it, I didn't know he had used anything other than alcohol until he told me when I was in rehab myself. Apparantely he was a regular meth user up until she got diagnosed, then he realized he had to get his shit together to help get her well. Anyway, I'm really digressing here. Guess I just want bluelight to know my whole story and what led me here. But yeah, immediately after mom died, I started ordering RC's online, got a free sample from a new vendor of 3.5g of A-PVP which got me through all of senior year of high school and got my early adulthood started off addicted to hard stimulants and the rest is history.

Oh yeah, the day my mother died, my room reeked. I had very wet Amanita Muscaria in a wooden box in my room and I forgot about them and they were going bad. Those grew all around my high school grounds. When I realized what the smell was I tossed it out and I've never been able to find that mushroom growing since. Just throwing this in here as a fun fact into my life.

As for books, I'll have to check that out. I never have read a fantasy book, at least not since I was a kid. Not typically what pulls me in when I'm at the bookstore but I've just never really considered it. The way you describe it makes it sound pretty damn worthwhile, though.

I just finished "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston. It's a novel published in 1937 by an African-American woman about a black woman trying to find love and her own voice in the Jim Crow Era. I'm really drawn in by African-American literature from the 20's-60's. I really enjoy reading about the Civil rights movement, people fighting for their right to exist. I'm queer when it comes to both sexuality and gender, so its a topic that I can relate to a lot. The fact that people have to fight for their right to exist saddens me deeply but reading these powerful stories written by people trying to be heard when society was getting them down the most draws inspiration out of me. It encourages me to be Unapologetically me. And I kind of just enjoy classic American literature in general, I love me some John Steinbeck.

I just started reading "Villa Incognito" by Tom Robbins, but once done I'm gonna have to pick up some fantasy or science fiction because you and Porkstock have me intrigued.

 

[porkstock]

You are the same person as SuperPsychMe from HFs right? I think we "know" each other from there. It's interesting hearing about your backstory.

Seems like humans tend to focus too much on our backstory and not enough on the..frontstory? I guess I mean future, but we do tend to worry about that plenty.
I mean when it comes to our image of ourselves, we think we are this or that, or we might get hung up on our past mistakes or even achievements. I think it's more important what we do now. Who I am right now is of course influenced by my past, but at any moment, at least in theory, I could choose differently. Hell, I could even take up playing the keys and decide I prefer Fantasy to Science Fiction!

Not necessarily directing this at you, SuperPsych. Somehow the word backstory got me here.

If you want to start a sci-fi book I don't think you can go wrong with Robert Heinlein. The one that started it all for me was The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, and I think you could say it's about people struggling for their right to exist (on the moon)
Heinlein is one of the Great Masters of classic sci fi.

Or if you are more into e-books and modern authors I'd recommend Jasper T Scott and Stan C Smith. You can probably find some free stuff from them on Amazon, or maybe 99cents

 

[Xorkoth]

Hell, I could even take up playing the keys and decide I prefer Fantasy to Science Fiction!

That's what I did in 2014/2015 (took up playing keys - I always loved fantasy the most ) Well, I played when I was a kid for most of my childhood but stopped at age 18/19 and didn't play again until I was 31. Now it's my greatest passion and I'm in a band and it's a huge part of my life. The best part.

I did an ibogaine flood dose in 2014, just came out of a 12 year abusive relationship, and took it for opiate addiction, but it changed so much for me. It made me realize that I can be whatever I want. I had 5 years clean from opiates and started working out and changed my body shape, changed my eating habits, and became so much more self-confident. it was like a light went on in my mind.

 

[Mjäll]

Just type in punching balloon when you order them off amazon, you can blow them up twice the size of in this picture easily if not more. They are alot thicker than regular balloons so you dont have to worry about them exploding.

Its safer to use balloons then straight from a dispenser. The gas comes out really cold and also the oil/gunk coats the balloon, you can out a huge amount of carts in like i do and you can really go deep. My dispenser hold two-three if done but i think thats pushing it, i generally just release the case from each cart as i go into the balloons.

The most i ever put in them is ten cartridges i think, my girlfriend complains if i dont give her a huge one, or makes a stink if mines bigger

Aight, that's a more heavy duty balloon than those i've seen at parties i think.

I think i'll keep using a dispenser. Not having to screw them on and off constantly would be nice though i guess.

 

[SuperPsych]

Just type in punching balloon when you order them off amazon, you can blow them up twice the size of in this picture easily if not more. They are alot thicker than regular balloons so you dont have to worry about them exploding.

Its safer to use balloons then straight from a dispenser. The gas comes out really cold and also the oil/gunk coats the balloon, you can out a huge amount of carts in like i do and you can really go deep. My dispenser hold two-three if done but i think thats pushing it, i generally just release the case from each cart as i go into the balloons.

The most i ever put in them is ten cartridges i think, my girlfriend complains if i dont give her a huge one, or makes a stink if mines bigger

Those balloons are the shit! I loved loading up 7 cartridges into those and hitting them while watching anime. A balloon would get me in the Nitrous-Sphere for a whole episode and I would do it all night. I had an amazing summer where I'd do kratom, carisoprodol, and a shit ton of nitrous and watch a ton of anime with no clothes on and fans blasting me. It was a great way to get through those 100 degree F nights.

You are the same person as SuperPsychMe from HFs right? I think we "know" each other from there. It's interesting hearing about your backstory.

Seems like humans tend to focus too much on our backstory and not enough on the..frontstory? I guess I mean future, but we do tend to worry about that plenty.
I mean when it comes to our image of ourselves, we think we are this or that, or we might get hung up on our past mistakes or even achievements. I think it's more important what we do now. Who I am right now is of course influenced by my past, but at any moment, at least in theory, I could choose differently. Hell, I could even take up playing the keys and decide I prefer Fantasy to Science Fiction!

Not necessarily directing this at you, SuperPsych. Somehow the word backstory got me here.

If you want to start a sci-fi book I don't think you can go wrong with Robert Heinlein. The one that started it all for me was The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, and I think you could say it's about people struggling for their right to exist (on the moon)
Heinlein is one of the Great Masters of classic sci fi.

Or if you are more into e-books and modern authors I'd recommend Jasper T Scott and Stan C Smith. You can probably find some free stuff from them on Amazon, or maybe 99cents

I am that same SuperPsych I sure do miss the glory days of HF. That forum got me through some really hard times when my mother passed. I'd be in that chat room every night and I made a lot of good friends there.

It's funny you mention that. I've spent the last I don't know how many years not making any progress because I was too focused on my "backstory". I guess I can't get too hard on myself, had a tough childhood with my mom being sick and then immediately falling into heavy addiction and a horrible relationship with a very abusive partner for 6 years immediately afterwards. I'm finally at a point in my life where all of that isn't getting me down too much and I'm focusing on the future. I'm happy for the first time in my adult life, things are looking good. I have a lot of regrets and made a lot of mistakes but I'm not going to let that define my life.

"The Moon is a Harsh Mistress". That sounds like a fascinating read! I'm gonna make a note and that'll be my next book purchase. I appreciate the recommendation

That's what I did in 2014/2015 (took up playing keys - I always loved fantasy the most ) Well, I played when I was a kid for most of my childhood but stopped at age 18/19 and didn't play again until I was 31. Now it's my greatest passion and I'm in a band and it's a huge part of my life. The best part.

I did an ibogaine flood dose in 2014, just came out of a 12 year abusive relationship, and took it for opiate addiction, but it changed so much for me. It made me realize that I can be whatever I want. I had 5 years clean from opiates and started working out and changed my body shape, changed my eating habits, and became so much more self-confident. it was like a light went on in my mind.

Ibogaine is something that fascinates me and horrifies me. I really want to try a flood dose of it. I've never had a chance to try it at any dose. The reports of people dying during the experience has turned me off of it. Similar to 5-MeO-DMT. Those are both things that I feel I MUST try before I die, but the reports of people dying make me very apprehensive.

When you did the flood dose were you by yourself? Did you go to some sort of retreat or do it at home and have someone watching over you?

 

[porkstock]

Having only tried a small handful of RC psychedelics, there are a few I feel I'm missing out on / I should try-before-i-die.

Namely DPT and 5-meo-dipt. DPT just sounds like nothing else, the sheer intensity sounds like something worth experiencing. And Shulgin's description of foxy (5-meo-dipt) as lsd-like is enough to pique my interest.

A lot of the 4-subs interest me. I'd be curious to try most of them. 4-ho-met for the psychedelic "candy," 4-ho-det has intrigued me in the past, but I can't even recall the specific reason.

 

[Chris Timothy]

Took care of logistics yesterday. Memantine should be finally on its way.

I wish you guys mentioned the sexual effects sooner though. I don't like chemicals that produce distraction. I would still have sampled it regardless, but would have ordered a more conservative amount.

Transmuting energy is tricky enough of an art, it doesn't need extra challenges.

 

[Xorkoth]

Ibogaine is something that fascinates me and horrifies me. I really want to try a flood dose of it. I've never had a chance to try it at any dose. The reports of people dying during the experience has turned me off of it. Similar to 5-MeO-DMT. Those are both things that I feel I MUST try before I die, but the reports of people dying make me very apprehensive.

When you did the flood dose were you by yourself? Did you go to some sort of retreat or do it at home and have someone watching over you?

Yeah it's definitely cause for caution. The actual experience for me was unusual, from what I have read about. I did a combination of pure ibogaine and total alkaloid extract, so I got the full range of alkaloids but in a different ratio than eating the root powder. I found it physically comfortable, actually my body felt really good, and I was basically dreaming whether awake or asleep for 3 days and nights. The first day and night I barely remember, except for flashes of total confusion and hazy dreamscapes. The second day and night I was still laying in bed, but I remember the dreams well, and had flashes of waking up and having the wildest visual effects, but only occasionally remembering I had taken ibogaine. The third day and night I got up and was moving around and doing stuff and I believed I had come down, and I felt incredible, but in reality I was slipping in and out of full-on dreams that were overlaying my reality. My sitter had stopped watching me because we thought I'd be fine to care for myself after 24 hours, at the guidance of my mentor (morninggloryseed, RIP bud ), and I did some shit like emailed my boss a bunch of gibberish.

The 4th day I actually was back, and was in a state of absolute hypomania, I can't recall a tike I've ever felt better. Withdrawals were utterly gone and I felt like, well, it's hard to explain. But the whole experience hadn't sunk in yet, I had a wild smattering of bits of dream, which I started writing down every time I remembered them so the whole experience didn't slip away. I started doing various drugs because I was hypomanic, and slipped on opiates a couple of times, too. Then the withdrawals came back and I was so ashamed. I had reserved a booster dose, and decided to take it on night 6. it was about 1/3 of the original flood dose. That night I had more of a visionary experience, though they were dreams of a similar sort f "magical" nature (it changed my dream architecture for YEARS afterwards). But I was aware I was dreaming. Also the dreams were more mystical/spiritual in nature, including one of dying and being reborn (that was the last one I remembered before I fell to actual sleep).

I woke up the next morning feeling withdrawal and terrible about myself. Called my mom, cried, thought a lot. Then for some reason in the shower, it all just clicked in my brain, somehow. I looked at how skeletal I was and remembered all the dreams in sequence and even though I didn't have any sort of like teacher/guide experience showing me my past and teaching me things like most people describe, it's like my subconsciousness rearranged itself, and my internal narrative just changed, and I realized I didn't have to be this way. I could work out, get healthy, go to therapy, like fuck these withdrawals, who cares? I got up and did exactly that. before long I was past the light withdrawals I had and I was working out daily and I had the best 2 years of my whole life after that. Felt some level of that hypomania for the whole 2 years, I saw visuals at night for 2 weeks, and had extremely vivid and narrative dreams for like 4 years. The thought of opiates made me feel disgusted.

Anyway, yeah, I did it at home, I had my friend watch me, but as I mentioned, after 24 hours we thought I'd be fine, and he started going to work and then coming back to check on me, and sleeping at home at night.

I wrote the whole experience down, if you're interested, it's incredibly long and detailed, largely for my own purposes so I can always remember. Its in Trip Reports and also Erowid.



I hadn't heard about 5-MeO-DMT deaths. Are you talking about from toad venom, or pure 5-MeO-DMT?

Namely DPT and 5-meo-dipt. DPT just sounds like nothing else, the sheer intensity sounds like something worth experiencing. And Shulgin's description of foxy (5-meo-dipt) as lsd-like is enough to pique my interest.

A lot of the 4-subs interest me. I'd be curious to try most of them. 4-ho-met for the psychedelic "candy," 4-ho-det has intrigued me in the past, but I can't even recall the specific reason.

I have yet t try DPT, too, although I have some. It intimidates me even though everyone I know here says it's great and not to be scared,. it's those early trip reports I grew up reading... made it sound scary.

5-MeO-DiPT is fun, but really nothing special, for me anyway. I much prefer 5-MeO-MiPT.

I wish you guys mentioned the sexual effects sooner though. I don't like chemicals that produce distraction. I would still have sampled it regardless, but would have ordered a more conservative amount.

Personally I haven't found it to make me horny or think about sex or anything. I can imagine it being good for sex, should sex come up as a possibility, though.

 

[Kaleida]

How big are these balloons? Do they really fit 7-9 carts? It's about 60grams of gas.

I used to try cramming 2 carts into a 0,5L dispenser, but it starts leaking from the nozzle and that's a waste. Could be similar with balloons.

I almost invariably put eight in mine. Never did more than that though because I was afraid of popping them. After a certain point it starts to wear off too fast anyway, I've had two balloons with eight each one in each hand and it didn't make much of a difference compared to one.

Yeah a lot of it has that stuff, but there are some authors I have read recently that don't have any of the classic fantasy tropes and have built really unique worlds. There's one I just finished, who is writing more in that world, that takes place in a thousand years post apocalyptic Europe, so like 1000 years past some time in our future, after a nuclear armageddon. I guess it kinda rides the edge of sci-fi and fantasy. There is a technology that you don't find out about until way into it, that changed the physics of reality and made it possible for people to exercise their will over things, ie, magic. But they exist in a medieval sort of technological state, except there are remnants of the "builders'" technology remaining, and some funny references to stuff like parking garages and malls that they use as castles.

I generally don't read fiction anymore but I watch too much TV and this sounds hugely similar to the background story of Adventure Time. You mostly have to pick it up from being a long-time watcher and paying attention to stuff since it portrays itself as a kids' cartoon with main characters that mostly just go with the flow. Love that show.

Ibogaine is something that fascinates me and horrifies me. I really want to try a flood dose of it. I've never had a chance to try it at any dose. The reports of people dying during the experience has turned me off of it. Similar to 5-MeO-DMT. Those are both things that I feel I MUST try before I die, but the reports of people dying make me very apprehensive.

The number of deaths from either ibogaine or 5-MeO-DMT is, to my knowledge, extremely small. Like, DMXE is probably a greater risk to your life if I had to guess, and I realize that's a big claim. Not saying you should throw caution to the wind but just putting that out there.

Having only tried a small handful of RC psychedelics, there are a few I feel I'm missing out on / I should try-before-i-die.

Namely DPT and 5-meo-dipt. DPT just sounds like nothing else, the sheer intensity sounds like something worth experiencing. And Shulgin's description of foxy (5-meo-dipt) as lsd-like is enough to pique my interest.

A lot of the 4-subs interest me. I'd be curious to try most of them. 4-ho-met for the psychedelic "candy," 4-ho-det has intrigued me in the past, but I can't even recall the specific reason.

I've tried dozens of research chemical psychedelics and I've still got those. DOM is one I really hope I get to try one day but have no ability to yet.

I've tried both DPT and 5-MeO-DiPT. I like them both. I think it's worth noting that lots of early DPT reports (like the ones Xorkoth referenced) used incredibly high dosages, and I honestly think that's a huge part of where its reputation comes from. I smoked 30 mg and it was great with no rough edges or severe intensity of any kind. I know someone who IM'd 20 mg and had a complete out-of-body experience from it. I actually found it to be one of the smoothest and calmest psychedelics I've ever tried, particularly for the intensity, and I've not tried a small number of psychedelics. It reminded me a lot of the more visual 4-substituted tryptamines like 4-HO-MET and 4-HO-MPT except with more realism (typical of base vs 4-substituted tryptamines for me) and a complete lack of their stimulation. Although it also had a more alien and demonic vibe like 4-HO-DET and colors more like 4-HO-DPT, which are also dark and shadowy for me, so I kind of felt I got why it's called "dark" sometimes, although this was entirely superficial for me and not about how I felt or responded emotionally to the trip. I just thought it was cool.

5-MeO-DiPT does actually have a surprising amount of people comparing to LSD if you read enough trip reports, and I tend to agree. I find both 5-MeO-DiPT and 5-MeO-MiPT to be similar to both mushrooms and LSD in some ways but 5-MeO-MiPT is the one I would say is closer to mushrooms and 5-MeO-DiPT is the one that's closer to LSD. Despite this, 5-MeO-MiPT and 5-MeO-DiPT are probably also the two most similar things to one another for me, even more so than the structural step between them, 5-MeO-EiPT, which is rather more unique for me. Also in spite of this similarity, I don't find 5-MeO-MiPT and 5-MeO-DiPT interchangeable, and actually find both of them to be relatively unique overall compared to most other things. For me 5-MeO-MiPT is the one that's more fun while 5-MeO-DiPT is the one that's more deep. Granted, I've also noticed that the response to 5-substituted tryptamines seems to vary significantly more widely than that to a lot of other psychedelics, and I'm in the group of people who get more classical psychedelic experiences from them very easily, so it's easy for me to feel satisfied with them and compare them readily to other psychedelics which doesn't always seem to be as easy for other people. One of the things that's fun for me with 5-MeO-MiPT is that it has a style that I also find in the more fun 4-substituted tryptamines that I tend to refer to as burlesque. By comparison 5-MeO-DiPT has a more powerful and serious vibe that feels like it can be ancient or take me into the cosmos, although the head trip is still more grounded but dissociative and usually feels human like LSD as opposed to being transporting and alien like DMT has a reputation for.

It does make me horny. Mostly in a delirious way though.

As mentioned above, I actually find the style of 4-HO-DET comparable to that of DPT that I assume gives the latter its reputation. I think it's one of the most interesting 4-substituted tryptamines although it's one of the least fun of the ones that are still really strong, it's just not quite as comforting to me but that's part of what makes it stand out. It's still more of a classical and less narcotic trip than DPT for me too. I like it but I haven't used it much.