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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: Trans-dimensional Hyperspace Cocktail Bar - Fractals Apply Within

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Xorkoth said:
Internet writing has always been an outlet for me, I feel like I can share more complete thoughts than anywhere else and with the dynamics of everything I don't even want to tell my family everything... I've determined I really need to let those thoughts flow and for me that means putting them out there and sharing them with people.
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I relate. Although you're writing skills are off the charts, I understand that need for outlet to someplace like this. No one I know IRL can really understand what I talk about here.

I still lead that double life in a way. Part of why I left was that guilt of doing the things I did, hiding it IRL (still do), and posting about it here. Coming back after so long made me realize how I live a double life regardless whether I post about it here or not. Not posting about the things I tak about here makes me suppress things, breeds guilt, and just overall makes things worse.

I would like to not have to lead a double life, but the things I do just aren't acceptable beyond this place The double life may continue, but at least it's not suppressed and shame producing.
 
Xorkoth said:
If we have those, we should be able to feel content, but we have been brainwashed to feel that there is this additional, distant goal. At least that's where the root of it is for me.
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Yup. It's never enough. That's the root for me too. The sense I absorbed from my parents, and society agreed with is that there is no limit, and no matter what you do, it is never enough, there's always more to do. Satisfaction becomes an impossibility, that distant goal is never within reach.

At one time in the peak of my psychedelia I realized such a thing, but social influence, and especially the need for money nudged that out of the way and I got sucked into the fast lane. That lack of satisfaction is a downfall, and unsustainable. As much as I disagree with communism, I also think capitalism is showing it's limits.
 
Yeah it's different to hide something from people in general,and another to hide it from the person you're in love with sharing your life with. That kind of double life is very unhealthy. But I think everyone hides some parts of themselves from people at large, I think that's normal. But surely possible to not do I would think.
 
Xorkoth said:
Yeah it's different to hide something from people in general,and another to hide it from the person you're in love with sharing your life with.
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Indeed. I think anyone I get involved with is going to need to accept my hobbies and methods of returning to center. I also don't see why that's so much to ask. The only thing there is outdated social rules which an intimate relationship should be able to see past.
 
Yeah I agree. That's a huge lesson I'm learning... you have to be honest in relationships, honest with yourself and your partner. If something's a deal-breaker, it's a deal-breaker.

Delsyd said:
This feels like 08-09' all over again. PD fam in full swing.
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Hell yes, hey dude. :)
 
Xorkoth said:
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This is by far my favorite. I'm actually bummed that it's sold or else I would make an offer. How much did you sell it for if you don't mind me asking?
 
I kept stuff from Karma too, as far as drugs go. I would use MXE behind her back a lot, thinking she wouldn't know or figure it out. It caused quite a bit of turmoil in my relationship. I mostly hid it from her because I was using it daily and knew she would not approve so I hid it from her (not that well, I'm not good at acting sober when I'm dissociated.)
I've got my MXE use under control these days, and am completely honest with her now about when I do use it.
In fact today I asked her to prep me a shot for when I got home from work, and there it was waiting for me.
And I feel quite nice from it right now.
 
It really does feel like going back in time. Whatcha been up to Delsyd?

Man the PD Index is insanely huge now. I thought it was big when we were modding, but I just opened it and the OP kept scrolling further and further.. lol Props to the current mods on keeping it going. :)

It's in the archive to those trying to find it. Since the upgrade there hasn't been a header. If no header can you guys put it in a sticky in the active forum for visibility and ease of access?
 
Laika said:
This is by far my favorite. I'm actually bummed that it's sold or else I would make an offer. How much did you sell it for if you don't mind me asking?
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I sold it for $125. I can't wait til I'm in galleries and I can start charging more. But they don't take me very long. I was really needing money at the time too. I've sold a few for quite low prices for that reason.
 
I certainly enjoy working in this field in one way or another.
I don't know if you guys have seen "The wild and wonderful
Whites of WV," but I work next door to a cousin of theirs and about a month ago the nice redneck fella asked if I wanted to do some blow with him, so I obliged. Twas fun, and he lived up to his name.
 
Delsyd said:
I'm not up to much these days. In the business of getting ppl high by selling bongs and heady glass and stuff, working at a head shop.
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Sounds like an awesome laid back place to work. I wish there were cool headshops around me, I would totally aim for working there. Unfortunately the closest thing in proximately is nothing more than a gas station/ head shop, cigs, beer, bongs and bowls just no gas, but all the same quality as stuff you'd find at a gas station. Everything is over priced and not anything special.

Jealous of the MXE. It's been too damn long for me. :/
 
Xorkoth said:
I sold it for $125. I can't wait til I'm in galleries and I can start charging more. But they don't take me very long. I was really needing money at the time too. I've sold a few for quite low prices for that reason.
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I have an opportunity to put 10 pieces up on a wall of a gallery in Kissimmee, Florida. I really gotta get in there because of the amount of tourists that pass through. And as soon as one sells I can just come and put a new one up. The mandatory framing is whats holding me back as I'm sort of strapped for cash these days.
 
Xorkoth said:
I stayed away because I needed to stop thinking about drugs so much, but I think I need the outlet again. :)
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I actually had to go to court ordered rehab in the beginning of 2013(from a dui), so our year started out similarly awful. It was also after a really bad break up with my girlfriend and I was more depressed than I've ever been. I didn't even have an opiate addiction so your strength really is admirable. My girlfriend cheated on me a number of times and got back with me each time basically so cutting the ties was really brutal for me. My self esteem was so incredibly low after all the things she did. I got addicted to ritalin I had a prescription to, and got pretty delusional for a period of time. eventually I couldn't stand the effects of ritalin and met my new girlfriend who has kept me pretty happy so far :)

PepperSocks said:
The new found independence is hugely comforting in that my whole happiness is not wrapped up in one person I had a supremely unhealthy obsession with. Feels good after it feels bad :)
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I couldn't agree more.

Xork, I just changed my major to painting, and your work is quite inspiring. Your signature technique is awesome, I'm wondering how you got acrylic paint to do that haha. Also spraypainting things with chalkboard surface is a pretty ingenious idea for a canvas so I'm probably gonna use it next semester, i hope ya don't mind ;)

after hearing about how cool asheville is I wanna visit and get a nice rig from delysid and hang with the BL legends maybe collab on a painting haha
 
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Sonn, you missed me by about 4 years. I used to live in north Jersey and was in Philly for shows all the time. Asheville is pretty amazing though, there is no place id rather live, except Cali maybe.
PSox, remember when we went to the highest peak east of the Mississippi when you visited? And ketamine to end the night ofcourse ;)
 
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