☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

[swilow]

^See, I don't find snakes to be that scary, though the risk they pose to me is certainly higher then most spiders. My brother keeps snakes and spiders (amongst other things) and I have a much stronger response when facing the non-toxic tarantula then when I am eye-to-eye with a python. Its atavistic and useless really, but interesting to explore. I've handled his tarantulas a few times and they are very docile and almost 'cute' when they relax and start cleaning themselves. My brother used to wear them like a parrot until his wife appeared Its the initial response that is intriguing, because it is (for me) so powerful- instant sweating, heart rate increase, difficulty thinking/breathing, shaking- but subsides to an almost negative value within about 20 seconds, so within a minute I can interact with the animal. Sometimes, I just can't though, especially if I've been smoking

 

[psood0nym]

A friendly HUGE fucking spider just tried to share the bed with me and Miss Willow. Poor thing though, half-eaten, missing legs and whatnot. I escorted her outside and introduced her to a lovely big tree but I don't like her chances. I should have killed her but I hate to do that, and she was quite lively... God, they are eerie, unsettling animals...

Years ago a spider revealed to me a little bit of how our minds work.

I was trying to go to sleep with architecture on my mind, imagining various interiors. The train of my thoughts led organically from imagery of glass and steel commercial constructions to sleek residential enclosures, turning finally to a tour of a house of the idyllic and dilapidated sort. All the while I tossed and turned, itching, oblivious. Within these inner meanderings, I approached a window sill that I imagined was being eaten away by termites. This slightly unexpected scene led to a remembrance of a man being eaten alive by ants, appropriated from an old sci-fi movie called "Phase IV."

In my restlessness I left the bed for the second time, flicking the light switch to the bedroom on my way to pour myself a glass of water. Upon my return I saw the corpse of a sizable beige spider crumpled and still twitching among the folds of my navy sheets.

It was that spider pulling the strings of my reverie's puppet show all along. What seemed to be a sensible progression of thoughts in the mind of a rational actor was in fact an alert from my subconscious, leading me from one memory node to another by association, with each approach taking me one step closer to the fact at hand, until I was in the antechamber of actuality: I had a guest in my bed.

 

[Yeetbeat]

Years ago a spider revealed to me a little bit of how our minds work.

I was trying to go to sleep with architecture on my mind, imagining various interiors. The train of my thoughts led organically from imagery of glass and steel commercial constructions to sleek residential enclosures, turning finally to a tour of a house of the idyllic and dilapidated sort. All the while I tossed and turned, itching, oblivious. Within these inner meanderings, I approached a window sill that I imagined was being eaten away by termites. This slightly unexpected scene led to a remembrance of a man being eaten alive by ants, appropriated from an old sci-fi movie called "Phase IV."

In my restlessness I left the bed for the second time, flicking the light switch to the bedroom on my way to pour myself a glass of water. Upon my return I saw the corpse of a sizable beige spider crumpled and still twitching among the folds of my navy sheets.

It was that spider pulling the strings of my reverie's puppet show all along. What seemed to be a sensible progression of thoughts in the mind of a rational actor was in fact an alert from my subconscious, leading me from one memory node to another by association, with each approach taking me one step closer to the fact at hand, until I was in the antechamber of actuality: I had a guest in my bed.

You sir, may have been arachniraped.

Also holy shit. Very well written haha. Quite eloquent.

 

[swilow]

Ahh trozzle, excellent neologism

Interesting post psood. Do you think that it was low intensity sensory input (ie. spider touching you, brain interpreting and reimagining) or something else?

Actually, probably not low intensity sense of touch, because that sort of tickling is usually amplified by the brain for that very reason...

Also, I dig the way you write brother; in your above post, you eloquently captured you meandering thought process, leading the reader into your so called "antechamber of actuality". A phrase I now love and will enshrine briefly

How u been anyhow?

 

[psood0nym]

Thanks guys. My pleasure. Yes, I believe a subconscious intelligence recognized that some sort of bug was in bed with me. My working memory was occupied by architectonic thoughts, and without my knowing the duty of Director was shifted to that intelligence, which used associated imagery to indicate the spider's presence.

I've been OK, Willow. Thanks for asking. I've got to wake up at 5 a.m. though, so I can't chat. Goodnight, all.

 

[Xorkoth]

Psood! Glad to see you post.

I wonder if arachnophobia is some remnant from a far, far distant past on the evolutionary chain, that presents itself in some people, in some particular gene expression. It's definitely an involuntary response, no thought goes into it, it's an instinctual reaction.

 

[Yeetbeat]

I can definitely support the idea that our subconscious mind will pass on sensory input to our conscious mind (albeit somewhat unconscious while sleeping, you know what I mean) while dreaming, and depending on the specifics of the input (sounds - volume? Pitch?; touch - gentle? hot? cold? MOTHERFUCKINGSPIDERBITE?) will either be completely ignored (or perhaps simply deemed irrelevant and not passed on), translated into an aspect of the dream or further yet triggering deeper memories which in turn are translated as in the case of Psood, or in the extreme case passed through as an alert/alarm causing the individual to wake.

I can attest to this through numerous similar experiences, though mostly just certain sounds like my mobile ringing on my bedside table becoming part of my dream; though not always verbatim - just because my phone was ringing in my room, it doesn't mean the translation in my dream was also a phone ringing.

 

[theacidtest]

Spiders are probably my biggest fear. But not entirely without reason. Apparently I'm allergic to the venom of one or more spiders. I got bit by an unknown spider about six years ago. The next day it looked like I had a golf ball under the skin on my arm. The doctor told me I was allergic to whatever venomous spider bit me. It required two rounds of antibiotics and took the better part of a month to heal.

I legitimately panic when I see a spider. Unfortunately we have a ton of black widows here.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Apparently I'm allergic to the venom of one or more spiders. I got bit by an unknown spider about six years ago. The next day it looked like I had a golf ball under the skin on my arm.

Yikes.

edit: Post recalled, entering safety mode. Justification: Sleep deprivation makes me inductive and right brained, false sense of insightful thought, or perhaps exaggerated sense, insights may be valid, but previous experience shows that I am later unable to construct deductively valid argument to back it up to due lack of necessary premises. Probable source of frequent epiphanies and waffling convictions early this year. I should not be thinking at 36 hours awake, or attempting to write more than simple declarative sentences. Plan: Take some extra seroquel, drink some South African chardonnay, pass out. Review thoughts in the morning.

I wonder if arachnophobia is some remnant from a far, far distant past

Possible genetic predilection towards developing phobias (not specific ones)¹, as with allergies. The specific type and primary cause of development is personal experiences, cultural influences, etc.² It's more nurture than nature.

 

[Xorkoth]

Day 6 or 7 without phenibut, I haven't been counting. I definitely never developed anything full-on, but I'm glad I caught myself. I have been feeling a light-level underlying anxiety for most of each day, and today it seems to be missing, so that's a good thing.

Last night I hung out with a friend and we smoked some MXE, I had 15mg then 10mg. It was fun. Smoking it is different than other ROAs, more speedy, less deep feeling. But it feels good and today I feel less aftereffects. Very interesting chemical, it's almost like two drugs in one, where smoking reveals the other drug in it.

My girl texted me last night at 1am (it would have been 10pm her time). I was glad to see it, since she's been out of cell range this is the first time she's contacted me since getting there. It's been almost 2 weeks. She told me she's been thinking about me a lot. And also she's going to call me this evening. That will be nice. Since it's such a new and entirely undefined thing, I was wondering if she was even thinking about me or what... it feels good to know we're thinking of each other.

 

[pharmakos]

"my girl" is what you're calling her now? sounds contrary to your current intentions.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah I got tired of typing "my lady friend", not that that's really any different at all, not sure what to call her honestly. "The girl I've been seeing" is annoying to type too.

 

[pharmakos]

fair enough.

 

[SONN]

you guys i'm so crazy but I love it, yesterday I hastily weighed what I wanted to be around 2.25 mg of DOC in a capsule, I don't really have all that much memory of doing it but long story short I'm almost positive it was like over 7mg because I went insaaaaaaannnneee. luckily my friend had etizolam in propylene glycol solution and that literally saved everything and I nearly lost my mind but had an awesome time while doing it!!

funniest part is that I took it at 4:15 in class, and at 6:00 when I was leaving class it didn't seem like I was coming up very hard at all it just kept coming up and not stopping when I would have expected.

Then at around 8:00 I thought I should be relatively done coming up, and I took 25mg of mxe thinking it would hopefully chill me out because the miniscule crumb of alprazolam powder I decided to take wasn't doing anything. I went to my friends house before the concert, My entire visual frame was drastically altered and everything had about 10 trails and I was like shit I'm tripping wayyy harder than expected and way too damn hard for a concert, but luckily the etizolam saved my silly ass and I had a killer time.

edit: okay more is coming back to me now

so I took a whopping 300mg of mxe with me to the concert for some reason.

When I got in there my dumb ass friend is leading me around the place trying to find a spot to do the a keybump of the mxe. We end up just walking all over the place and I lose him and when I finally found a good spot to do keybumps my etizolam'd out mind for some reason told me to snort like ~100mg

looking back now I must have seriously made an ass out of myself like I'm sure people were like concerned for me like my ex girlfriend who I basically asked to come just so she would take care of me lol

Jesus christ I feel fucking increddddibbbleee right now though and I got like 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

I keep just flashing back to the concert and laughing my ass off about the words I was like making up while I was talking to people and shit last night lol

and talking in loops worse than I've everrr done

 

[xammy]

A gram of Methoxetamine! Couldnt resist taking some tonight, have 30mg under my tongue atm.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Have any of y'all seen The Shining by Kubrick? I've seen the movie countless times, I really enjoy it... but there's something about it that has never been able to scare me. Jumpy shit, creepy images and the like can always flip me out... but the psychological horror employed in that film doesn't work on me. It's really odd, since Alien is my favorite horror movie and well, it scares the shit outa me with a similar concept in theory (being trapped in a tiny place with something that clearly wants to kill you).

Does The Shining creep any of you out? It's not Jack Nicholson's fault, he did a fantastic performance in that film, couldn't have been better. It just doesn't scare me. Of course, when I watched it with my significant other, she was scared shitless and had to stay the night with me -_-

A gram of Methoxetamine! Couldnt resist taking some tonight, have 30mg under my tongue atm.

Don't you hate hard hard it is to resist that drug when you've got it on hand? And I just got 5g's of it... Christ, I need to hide it from myself for a few months. Ever since I got my first g of it three months ago, I've been using it on average at least once weekly, if not more. I need a damn break, I'm sure my NMDA receptors have gone to shit by now.

 

[Xorkoth]

Damn SONN, that's pretty extreme. I've taken 85mg of MXE with DOC (although like 3-3.5mg of it), in several doses, not all at once, and it was quite strong. It's probably better for you that you were on DOC, as I find DOC to allow me to retain a lot more control over my body and speech when I take MXE on top of it.

Be careful man.

Have any of y'all seen The Shining by Kubrick? I've seen the movie countless times, I really enjoy it... but there's something about it that has never been able to scare me. Jumpy shit, creepy images and the like can always flip me out... but the psychological horror employed in that film doesn't work on me. It's really odd, since Alien is my favorite horror movie and well, it scares the shit outa me with a similar concept in theory (being trapped in a tiny place with something that clearly wants to kill you).

Does The Shining creep any of you out? It's not Jack Nicholson's fault, he did a fantastic performance in that film, couldn't have been better. It just doesn't scare me. Of course, when I watched it with my significant other, she was scared shitless and had to stay the night with me -_-


Don't you hate hard hard it is to resist that drug when you've got it on hand? And I just got 5g's of it... Christ, I need to hide it from myself for a few months. Ever since I got my first g of it three months ago, I've been using it on average at least once weekly, if not more. I need a damn break, I'm sure my NMDA receptors have gone to shit by now.

Yeah The Shining creeps me out, it straight scared me as a kid, now it just gives me that creepy feeling. There's a really unique and disturbing feel to that movie. And yeah Jack Nicholson did an amazing job.

I have been doing MXE once or twice a week for a little while now actually. It's easy to do when you and all your friends have some and all like an excuse to do it (social gatherings). I still never do it at home by myself though. I do however think I am using it too often.

 

[xammy]

Don't you hate hard hard it is to resist that drug when you've got it on hand? And I just got 5g's of it... Christ, I need to hide it from myself for a few months. Ever since I got my first g of it three months ago, I've been using it on average at least once weekly, if not more. I need a damn break, I'm sure my NMDA receptors have gone to shit by now.

Often yes (well MXE is the only drug that has that pull on me), but this time the urge wasnt really that hard but I still took it and after a 1,5 week break 30mg sublingual fucking rocked my world. I felt way more euphoric than I thought I would. What is it with MXE that when I don't have it I don't really have any cravings etc. but when I have it.. wow :D I think its good its very expensive here (80€/g) because if I could get it like you guys ($20-40/g?) I'd be in deep shit.

 

[psood0nym]

I can definitely support the idea that our subconscious mind will pass on sensory input to our conscious mind (albeit somewhat unconscious while sleeping, you know what I mean) while dreaming, and depending on the specifics of the input (sounds - volume? Pitch?; touch - gentle? hot? cold? MOTHERFUCKINGSPIDERBITE?) will either be completely ignored (or perhaps simply deemed irrelevant and not passed on), translated into an aspect of the dream or further yet triggering deeper memories which in turn are translated as in the case of Psood, or in the extreme case passed through as an alert/alarm causing the individual to wake.

I can attest to this through numerous similar experiences, though mostly just certain sounds like my mobile ringing on my bedside table becoming part of my dream; though not always verbatim - just because my phone was ringing in my room, it doesn't mean the translation in my dream was also a phone ringing.

Yes, I've consciously recognized hundreds of similar episodes of "subliminal" influences altering my thought patterns in the years since I've known to look for them. I believe such associational prodding occurs throughout the day, every day, and plays a large role in shaping our thoughts without our awareness. It's just that it's rare to catch it happening at times when it's convenient to trace each association in one's mind back through a chain of mental events that tells a story that resonates enough to take notice. Of course it helps to suspect the role of residual environmental stimuli in one's thoughts to begin with. I've noticed it happening most often during times of mental "drift," a state during which most of us naturally aren't stopping to review our thoughts after each novel encounter in the environment to look for subtle but meaningfully unexpected shifts in their "intended" trajectories.

For example, years ago I was walking on campus after attending an anthropology class when my inner musings on the the lecture topic shifted to the pharmacological influences of stimulants and their potential theoretical relationship with the class material. This reminded me of a girl I'd met recently who had told me she could obtain Adderall for me. Sure enough, just then I noticed that very girl among the throngs of students in front of me. But it wasn't a coincidence. The way my eyes and head were tilted as I was walking meant she and the telltale way that she lumbered along would have been in the periphery of my vision during the time those musings of mine ten seconds earlier had suddenly shifted to stimulants. I hadn't noticed her consciously, but the influx of subconscious visual stimuli streaming in was enough to intelligently alter the flow of my thoughts beneath my awareness.

 

[SWIM Had A Dream]

Yikes.
I am later unable to construct deductively valid argument to back it up to due lack of necessary premises. .

That's what the social thread is for?