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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: Engage the digital super banana

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I envy the both of you. It is so fucking hard not to use mxe every day and even after being clean for 30 days after a 1 1/2 year benzo dependency I got myself hooked on etizolam again just because I couldn't enjoy mxe while in benzo PAWs:|. I really wish I had friends I could trust to hold my mxe
I need to find something to do with my spare time other than mxe. When not using mxe I'm REALLY into lifting weights/boxing. I also love playing piano/producing electronic music/making bangin ass rap/hip hop beats.
 
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^Dat mexxy bro... I feel you. I'm only limiting my use of MXE because my stash is about empty for life... real bummer.... Real fuckin bummer!
 
I really want to get to where I am using mxe in the same fashion as psychedelics. I.E. once a month. It would be awesome if I had a friend who I could give my stash to but sadly only one of my friends use psychedelics and while he is totally trustworthy we aren't close enough friends for me to ask him to do something like that.

The mrs runs a ballet studio for children/teens which is basically a mirrored room in a gym so I think ima get a membership and starting lifting there. I was making a lot of progress teaching myself how to play piano but I was using a keyboard on my lap with me sitting indian style. Posture means a lot to me so I really want to clear some space so I can play properly. I'm going back and fourth on whether I should buy another guitar(sold all 4), bass, or a program like cakewalk so I can make trippy music/rap beatz or actually jam. I LOVE slap bass but generally guitar is more fun to play.
Once I regain some muscle and pay $400 for driving classes over a dumbass highschool D.U.I. there is an excellent boxing gym in an University City about 50 miles north of me(I make a beastly WelterWeight). I suppose I should actually consider going to the university next year.
 
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Same here. I've been using weekly, to bi-weekly these past 5 months since meeting her... But hell, been using psychs in her place when I don't mex. Fuckin hell I love highs. I have a lot of L in my stash these days... but L is so... it scares me off of weekly use. So introspective. Weed doesn't get me anywhere these days either. That's the biggest bummer. Pot is a drug you can use daily... but now, when I smoke it's pointless. Little effect. Running out my kief so quick.
 
What negative effects do you guys get from using MXE all the time?
Back in 2011 I did a year and a half straight on it every day. Normally fairly low dose with higher doses on weekends or days off.
 
Using it every weekend pretty much (at roughly ~45-55mg each time), I've noticed absolutely nothing except super dark urine the morning after. It used to give me those anti-depressant effects. Now I assume I've abused them away...

Hell, these past few months, I've become more social, more confident, more outgoing and more dominating. Not sure if there's a correlation, but if there is... I love you MXE!
 
^Just started b12 the other day, as I noticed odd tingling in my nerves after n20 use last month. I assumed the dark urine was from not pissing all night. I usually wake up and piss at least once in the night, but after mxe I sleep 8+ hours easy. Clearly I don't maintain deep enough of sleep. I should be concerned more with my sleep...

edit: shit, I don't mean as dark as on that wiki page. Just dark for me. I'm usually the most hydrated fool you'd know.
 
Laika said:
What negative effects do you guys get from using MXE all the time?
Back in 2011 I did a year and a half straight on it every day. Normally fairly low dose with higher doses on weekends or days off.
Click to expand...

The worst effect is definitely my inability to articulate sentences properly on the spot and it carries over into typing as I edit every one of my post 20 times and am still left with errors. Second has to be loss of testosterone as I can't motivate myself to lift while using mxe daily. I know I've said this before but I've lost 20 pounds of straight muscle since I've started using mxe. Before and after pictures are ridiculously depressing.
 
Anyone else fucking love Sumatran coffee? Fresh ground sumatra beans make for the best tasting coffee ever. It's dark but not ashey dark like french roast and has a bold herbal taste. Sheetz used to have a sumatran espresso that actually hurt my stomach like a hardcore stimulant. Twas the most effective coffee drink eva, no idea why they quit offering it.
 
LSDMDMA&AMP said:
Mane i have been having way less trouble with staying sober most days. It really isnt difficult.
do i think about getting high everyday yeah
do i talk about it everyday, yeah.
do i do it though? No
i scheme a lot about a lot of things. You guys dont know the half of some of my schemes.
but i dont act on everything
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Voluntary sobriety? Impressive. I cannot manage that, as a respectable polydrug addict I have days where I'm only on one substance as a break. And due to my incredibly poverty, I have plenty of involuntary sober days.

Music:
 
He's just talking about his sobriety because he knows stay faded is probably going to be checking his post history to see how high he's been getting..
Good move lama. clever.
 
Laika said:
What negative effects do you guys get from using MXE all the time?
Back in 2011 I did a year and a half straight on it every day. Normally fairly low dose with higher doses on weekends or days off.
Click to expand...

I dont use heavily, but went through 500mg in 2 weeks again. Im surprised how fine I feel after 4 nights in a row again. I never use before night but often drink alcohol and smoke weed with mxe. I drink tons of water with it everytime too. Sometimes I take vitamin B supplements.

dont know how a several week binge would affect me but often its just a day or two mental fog and anhedonia when I use a few nights.
 
It moreorless is completely true though
like i am quitting the quill now.
getting too fat.
day 1.
as you can see i am quite awake at 310am
but im just waiting to go in tomorrow morning and gloat to probation and some other people
needless to say their concerns with me have now been made null.
Never i fucks with you, you know the deal with me.
i mean though
that shit last week with the dex
its like losing a friend dude
like i didnt think its too unreasonable to need to neck 12 pills to get high, cause normal people need about 4 imo doinitright no tolerance
12 pills barely made my chest tighten and did absolutely fuck all other than increase my focus
its like
where do i go from here. Ive essentially become too tolerant i guess to be able to get high off less than by my estimation 200. Like its bad enough when i cracked the first 100mg in tolerance back when i was maybe 17. This is legit cray dude. This is with dexedrine mind you, adderall i can take more than dex-esp cause the time release actually works on adderall, unlike one brand of dexedrine xr (literally. No difference between xr and ir with the one brand)
its hard to be able to steal 20 pills and not get booked right now. I had to put some speedfreak ingenuity into getting away with 8 in addition to the daily 4 (hint: steal the beads)
Cause i bet you i can make 1.2g of pharm pure d-amp disappear in 2 days if i set out to do as much as possible.
So dexedrine is now essentially llama proofed. Or llama is dexedrine proof. i wonder what my life would be like had pharmacopeia not put dexedrine into my life. I doubt i wouldve gotten in with the digs i did and gotten experienced with thr md and the L without me doing speed on the side.

Id put money on not being too high for me to handle at doses up to 300mg, if you would bet me that i couldnt handle 300 for instance
laika that made me smile though
sad to say i think i fucked that up too much with using in 2014. as in too fucked up to salvage.
thats one thing i feel really bad about
the one thing that bothers me about the whole using period
i know you guys dont even read the half of my shit.
bet you no one will say electric boogaloo in a following post just because i am betting no one will.
mane this one kesha line though
"The beat so fat gonna make me cum"
I feels exactly the same way.
Think i am gonna call it bedtime at about 530. Gotta get up early tomorrow
see this is why i do speed. Im awake most of the time anyway, before the quill, i dont generally go to sleep before 230 or 3am most nights.
man though. I miss the temazepam 30s i used to have skripted when i was 16.
I accidentally a whole bottle after blacking out and llamas are recorded as having overdosed and so, no more. That was 5 years ago
where has the time gone.
 
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I went through that with dissociatives I guess: felt like it became pointless when the K stopped working decently. At first I was in denial about it for a while but I eventually I kinda did give up.
Also, episodes of taking too much - being in fugue states and making my good friend and roommate feel very uncomfortable... things like that made me say it is for the best to just not use them. Even if I do have fantasies about getting some K again for a special occasion.

It's really empowering to see that you can say no IMO, over the last years my self-control has grown, you have to train it like a muscle and if you have addiction problems usually it grew pretty weak. Having faith and confidence that it can change is the first necessity.

Anyway its sounding good llama man
 
Laika, either MXE or 3-meo-pcp have caused (I'm assuming it was them since I've read similar reports) slight numbness in half my fingers and right hand (pinky finger and the next two, not pointer). This just happened Saturday so I'm still pretty worried about it. I think the issue might be mixing the two with adderall though? Not that I was really mixing them at high doses, but I take adderall mostly everyday (prescribed) and so I was either taking small doses of the two dissos in the morning as a mood boost or taking low-medium doses in the evenings for musical purposes. Found another BLer complaining of numbness after MXE who also took adderall in I think the 9th reincarnation of the MXE Big & Dandy?
 
Went to visit my girl last night... finally caught up on some sleep, I slept 11 hours and I still feel really sluggish this morning. Actually I didn't feel sluggish UNTIL this morning.

Feelings are growing, as is inevitable... I feel closer and closer to her. Kinda freaky for me since I don't really want a girlfriend. I don't have one technically but it feels increasingly that way. We have been seeing other/having sex since mid-September, it's actually been a while now. Thing is, I WANT to feel close to her like this, because it feels good to have that in my life. For now it's perfect because we're just enjoying what it is without defining it. I wonder how long that will be possible? Indefinitely for me (at least as far as I can see at this point), but is the same true for her? We shall see.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad anyway, I don't think she has any desire to restrict me at all. She thinks it's great that I'm so busy and working so hard at music, she's never once tried to even apply slight pressure to me to hang out with her instead if I tell her I have other stuff to do. Even a couple of times we made plans before I knew I had band practice, and she was already hanging out at my house, she was totally fine with me leaving and just staying at my house til I came back and even if it was 8 hours later at 3am she was just happy to see me when I got back, no hint of resentment or anything, she just hung out with my cats and read books and slept til I got back. I think she'd actually make a great girlfriend. The only issue I have with her is that I sometimes think she's not exciting enough for me. It would be cool if she wanted to come do these things with me more often. Then again, she wants to trip on mushrooms with me soon.

FlawedByeDesign said:
Guess who has two thumbs and just received a tracking number for his AL-LAD=D
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Hmm... is it celebrity chef Emeril Agasse? Come on bro, I'm not psychic!

240sxLover said:
My girlfriend of five years expressed to me that she thinks I use hallucinogens as a crutch. I'm beginning to realize that I use all drugs as a crutch. I can't imagine a reality void of drugs. Hell, I'm two days sober from pot, but in loo of smoking, I've cleared 5 beers and am probably about to drink a few more. Fuck. I'm beginning to realize I have serious issues in my life. I don't know how to face them. I've been listening to my favorite rap songs on repeat and all I want right now is to blaze down a fatty. I have a couple g's sittin in my stash... the internal conflict right now is heavy.
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I'm the same way, or I have to really watch myself to avoid it. I guess I should say, deep down I'm that way and only self-control keeps it at bay. I'm sort of keeping it at bay now, I mean, I've been tripping a lot less than I used to but it has been weekly usually, and between psychedelics, weed, alcohol and MXE, I use something almost every day. Thing is, for me, it does feel like it's enriching my life still... weed is amazing for jamming (truly) and we always smoke if possible before jamming (and weed is my usual suspect, not the others). Psychedelics continue to provide useful and beautiful experiences that keep my inspiration and creativity flowing strongly. MXE provides a great tool for dancing at shows as well as connecting with my friends. Alcohol is fun, though I'd say of everything that one does the least to add anything to my life - I never do it unless my friends are, which is frequently, and then I think, hey that would be fun, I'll have some beers too. It's really the same pattern I have always had, when I'm in a really good place in my life and feeling excited about things I like to use drugs to further that. It's not that I'm not aware of it, it's that I'm not sure whether it's a bad thing. It certainly CAN be a bad thing, but is it, the way I'm doing it now? I'm not sure. My brain likes psychedelics more frequently than most. Tripping weekly has never seemed like it caused me any negatives, even when done for long periods of time. Tripping more than once weekly for periods of time does, but I'm not doing that nor do I want to. I will say I know I'm generally doing too much MXE, recently the magic reduced significantly, which is actually a nice self-limiting factor, the last couple of times I would have used it, I didn't want to, and didn't.

Drugs... they're a slippery slope. Gotta really watch your ass.

FlawedByeDesign said:
Anyone else fucking love Sumatran coffee? Fresh ground sumatra beans make for the best tasting coffee ever. It's dark but not ashey dark like french roast and has a bold herbal taste. Sheetz used to have a sumatran espresso that actually hurt my stomach like a hardcore stimulant. Twas the most effective coffee drink eva, no idea why they quit offering it.
Click to expand...

I actually like French roast more than Sumatran. I like that dark, rich flavor, rather than light fruity flavors, in coffee. That's just me though.
 
For me personally, it's been OK to keep things under control. What really made things easy for me is treating drugs like some sort of event, rather than just a thing I do. This changed my usage pattern in such a way that I've been generally happy about it for well over a year. Sometimes I do end up using more, but I don't really treat is as a problem and it seems to subside all by itself. Don't think this would help anyone, but if you feel like drugs are a problem then you should change what drugs mean for you.

I do smoke hashish nearly every day of the week, but the problem is I don't really see why that would be a problem. Should it be a problem? I've been thinking a lot about this, but I don't seem to find the answers. It's a habit for sure, but it also seems to help me a lot when I'm in a rut, it changes the way I look at a problem and I start looking at solutions*.

But returning to the way drugs are approached, but just stopping drug usage for a month or two really does wonders for the way you look at drugs. Some drugs I'd never do any more (amps, pills), others I'll never want to part with (psychedelics!). Try to get a different view and then look at the way it obstructs your life.

*Because of my ASD, when I get in to trouble my head starts just exploding with thoughts and impressions. Weed/Hashish really seems to change the way my brain processes these things.
 
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