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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Firly Swolks Discussing Mitillating Tatters Fithout Wilters

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My heart goes out to all you people suffering from depression, just like me. <3 Even just knowing that there are other people going through the same kind of shit is an enormous help. I remember seeing Melancholia by Lars von Trier in the cinema, I think in 2011 or something, which was the first time that I fully realized that I was not alone in having that kind of experience. In retrospect it seems terribly childish, but up until then while I was of course aware that "depression" is a rather common problem, I always figured that all those people must fall into two categories, people who just like to complain a lot and people with actual physical problems like low serotonin levels or whatever. But me? No, I was of course neither of those, but simply intelligent and sensitive enough to realise how shitty life is. I just couldn't fathom that anybody else could know this soulcrushing feeling of helplessness and despair that I equated with being me. But there it was clear as day, that exact horror that I didn't even know how to articulate being projected onto the silver screen. How could they possibly know of this burden that I had always thought was mine alone? That was a very strange experience to say the least. And while it's not like it simply started to get better after that, I think that was a really important turning point for me. I cannot recommend the film enough... that is if you want to see a film about depression and the end of the world, it's obviously not a feel-good-movie haha. :D
 
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It seems like so many people are depressed these days. I've been depressed but it was situational for me each time, naturally I am not prone to depression. For some reason knowing the state of the world doesn't make me depressed. I mean, it makes me angry if I think about it too much. But thinking about it too much is counterproductive so I try to just make my own small world a place that is good, bring as much good as I can. I've been told I'm putting my head in the sand, but honestly, obsessing over politics and global policy and wars and shit doesn't do anything to help and just makes me feel bad. So I think about other stuff generally.

But I think there's more to depression than that. I had an awesome childhood and awesome parents, I think that's a really big factor in why I'm more emotionally stable than, say, my girlfriend, who did not have an awesome childhood and parents.
 
I think the increase in depression has a lot to do with the end of religion beliefs and the weirdness of our modern life. Evolution is much slower than the industrial and technological revolution. The path we have to follow in life is very blurry and culture is telling us all the time we have to be successful in everything we do. In the first world, we have more or less all our primary needs covered and crave for things we don't really need, but as social animals seem if we don't have them, we are not good enough in other's people eyes. All the advertisement temptations bombarding us everywhere are not helping either.
I won't even get started about how busy and under pressure we can be.
 
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I agree The Hypnotist, and would argue that the disconnection experienced in modern "first world" life is one of if not the main factors. Disconnection from nature and the wilderness, disconnection from our food ie. where it comes from and the work and love it takes to grow, disconnection from our neighbors and those around us, and on and on. This is a much different world than 100 years ago.
 
Yeah this is true, I think a lot of it comes from disconnection. In my girl's case though, she's super connected to nature, we go hiking and camping almost every weekend, she knows so much about all the plants, it's the one thing that really gives her passion (but she seems determined to believe that it's too late for her to pursue work in that sort of area). She also lives in a small town and knows just about everyone and eats very well, for example we bought a CSA so we get a share of crops from a small farm in her town every week.

In her case I think it's related to the other point being made, that we live in a society where we are made to feel like it's never enough. You gotta work, make the money, do something with your life. A lot of her depression stems from feeling worthless, but she supports herself. She just can't seem to shake a sense of failure because she's not "making something of her life". Her dad and grandpa are constantly pushing her too, to "get a real job", etc. Pisses me off. :\
 
psy997 said:
I agree The Hypnotist, and would argue that the disconnection experienced in modern "first world" life is one of if not the main factors. Disconnection from nature and the wilderness, disconnection from our food ie. where it comes from and the work and love it takes to grow, disconnection from our neighbors and those around us, and on and on. This is a much different world than 100 years ago.
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Yes, completely agree with the disconnection thing. It is a real problem and getting worse and worse. Economic independence gave us the delusion we don't need each other, or even nature. Really twisted. If we go on like this they are going to have to change the name to the previous dark ages. Some people maybe should take drugs to stop their delusions. ;)
 
The Hypnotist said:
Really twisted. If we go on like this they are going to have to change the name to the previous dark ages.
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i've been saying for a long time that the dark ages never ended. slavery was barely over before my grandparents were born. many of our grandmothers were born before women had the right to vote. many of our parents were born before black people had the right to vote. up until 1993, it was legal in some US states to rape your wife.

the flip side of that is, many people are saying the current time is one of the darkest periods of human history. that couldn't be further from the truth. we have a long way to go, and we may have taken a step or two backwards temporarily, but we are doing far better than the world was even a single lifetime ago.
 
We are just meatbags, organic robots with but a modicum of illusory free will to make us mistakenly believe we have choices.

Crocodiles emerge from their egg with mouth open, ready to kill and that's all you need to know about life on earth.

We didn't evolve to be happy and calm, we evolved to be hunted and fearful. We've created a "safe" world but our hardware doesn't know this. What choice do we really have?

Shit that haunts me. :\

I don't really know how to stop devaluing life so much. I wish I could just relax into my life. I'm trying meditation again, I cant solve the world's problems, I need to accept that this is it. Only an ongoing eternal present moment, nothing else is real.

Meh, this took more energy than I wanted, ill prob delete.
 
Its that time folks. Altered perceptions an such8(

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swilow said:
We didn't evolve to be happy and calm, we evolved to be hunted and fearful. We've created a "safe" world but our hardware doesn't know this. What choice do we really have?
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If being happy and calm didnt come in handy with our survival why do we experience this? Nature would have been like "these meatbags keep dying cuz of this happy and calm shit they keep feeling. Time to start pushing that ability out."
 
Everything is relative. If you only felt fearful and uncomfortable all the time then there would be no motivation to behave in a way that benefits you. I agree with swilow's point. I don't think advancements in technology and society truly benefit anybody because we just aren't designed to live in the world we live in. You just trade one thing for another. With higher highs come lower lows.
 
The Hypnotist said:
I think the increase in depression has a lot to do with the end of religion beliefs and the weirdness of our modern life. Evolution is much slower than the industrial and technological revolution. The path we have to follow in life is very blurry and culture is telling us all the time we have to be successful in everything we do. In the first world, we have more or less all our primary needs covered and crave for things we don't really need, but as social animals seem if we don't have them, we are not good enough in other's people eyes. All the advertisement temptations bombarding us everywhere are not helping either.
I won't even get started about how busy and under pressure we can be.
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I think you're spot on with this.


As I've aged the past two years, I've slowly moved from communistic, idealistic beliefs about society and where it can go, to "I only care about me and my own," and it frightens me. All of a sudden I'm upset that I'm not meeting a certain income criteria that just two years ago wouldn't have phased me. I'm scared I'll have skin cancer and be unable to pay the fees to have it removed. I'm scared my guinea pig or snake will get sick and rack up 1k in bills. I'm scared my car will break down and rack up thousands in bills. I'm scared my new apartment will flood and my renter's insurance won't be enough to recover my damages. I'm upset with our new place only being 700 sq/ft. I'm scared I'll never be a home owner. I'm scared I'll never get a salaried job that can care for my fiance and I.

I am scared. I am not meeting the security part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and that's pretty darn low on the pyramid. And yet here I am having a job, a loving fiance, an apartment, a vehicle... technically I have it great. I even have wiggle room in my budget so I don't have to quit drugs. And yet I'm unhappy... something is very wrong with society, and something is definitely wrong with me.
 
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Spiritnova said:
Ya. The penguins are the only team I actually dislike ? FIGHT!
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https://www.amazon.com/NHL-Greatest-Moments-Stanley-History/dp/B000UPMZ2G
You gotta get this. Ive got 3 of these NHL dvd sets (flames pens and the cup joint) and I love em. It's how I relax in the morning and go to bed or Ill stay up a while and watch 2 games back to back.
I won't watch one of the discs though because it's the 04 cup final game 7 and Calgary is my 2nd team and seeing iggy lose sucks
 
Cream Gravy? said:
I think you're spot on with this.


As I've aged the past two years, I've slowly moved from communistic, idealistic beliefs about society and where it can go, to "I only care about me and my own," and it frightens me. All of a sudden I'm upset that I'm not meeting a certain income criteria that just two years ago wouldn't have phased me. I'm scared I'll have skin cancer and be unable to pay the fees to have it removed. I'm scared my guinea pig or snake will get sick and rack up 1k in bills. I'm scared my car will break down and rack up thousands in bills. I'm scared my new apartment will flood and my renter's insurance won't be enough to recover my damages. I'm upset with our new place only being 700 sq/ft. I'm scared I'll never be a home owner. I'm scared I'll never get a salaried job that can care for my fiance and I.

I am scared. I am not meeting the security part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and that's pretty darn low on the pyramid. And yet here I am having a job, a loving fiance, an apartment, a vehicle... technically I have it great. I even have wiggle room in my budget so I don't have to quit drugs. And yet I'm unhappy... something is very wrong with society, and something is definitely wrong with me.
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Welcome to adulthood. :\ Sad but true. It's hard to come to terms with these feelings. All through my twenties I felt like a complete failure, even though to my friends, I was the most successful one (though my siblings are a different story). I was raised with a great degree of comfort, and I felt that, because I wasn't amassing money and able to do whatever I wanted, that I had failed. Finally in my thirties I've started to accept that I won't make as much money as my dad, and that that's perfectly okay. I'm comfortable, I have the things I need. I still stress a lot about it though sometimes. Sickness worries me, even though I have health insurance. My house worries me, I AM a homeowner and it's fucking terrifying. It's all my responsibility, every bit of it, no landlord to call when something fucks up, and I have to pay for insurance and property tax, not to mention being well over $100k in debt. My skylight upstairs has been leaking for like 8 years, I've done various things to patch it but it always starts again. I need a new roof, I've fixed what I can. That shit makes me really anxious. My tentative plan is to buy a metal roof and install it myself because I have a pretty ideal roof shape for it to be relatively easy. But even doing it myself will cost me ~$2,500, which I can't afford right now, and when I save that much, well damn, wouldn't it be cool to have $2,500? Money stress sucks man. I love camping and backpacking, I love how when you're out in the land, the only concerns are food, water and shelter. If you have those you're GOOD. You can sit around a fire and stare at it and be perfectly content. Maybe not some sort of peak of happiness, but pleasant, peaceful contentment. Enjoy the company of whoever you're with, if you're with anyone. Sleep easily even though the ground is hard.

But then, when that was how we HAD to live, we yearned for something more. And here is where we're at in that quest. There are awesome things, like us being able to communicate right nowlike the ability to go anywhere in the world in a matter of hours rather than months and a good chance of not making it, like the understanding of what the fuck we even are and what this all is on a cosmic scale (or at least a sense that there is something to understand, and a start towards that ultimately understanding). And there are things we couldn't have anticipated, existential angst, boredom, disconnection. The progression is logical, but it's crazy now. We humans seem to just really have a bad case of the "grass is greener" complex. We always want what we don't have. In these modern times we yearn back to the archaic. And in the archaic we yearned for the modern. It's just our nature.

The key is to try to find a balance. Try to let the state of the world be anger and inspiration to change, instead of depression. I'm struggling with this lately, due to a number of things in my life being challenging right now. It's a struggle, but life has always been a struggle. It's just that now, instead of struggling to survive, to not starve, to not get eaten, has been replaced by a struggle to be fulfilled. Is it better? Worse? I have no idea because it's all I've ever known. Our ancestors might look at us now and be like, grow the fuck up, get your head out of your ass, you motherfuckers fucking HAVE it. Or they might be like, oh no, what happened? We fucked it up.
 
To my 'friends' I'm the least successful one. Which has led to my self-ostracization from various social groups, as I feel 'out classed' so to speak. I came from a six-figure income family and now I'm at the poverty line, so people think I must be some junkie scum or a buffoon because my father while being wealthy, is similarly anti-social like I, and cannot pull any strings to pull me up into the middle class. It's all on me to do it, but yet no matter how hard I bust my ass, I can't get my foot into any doors. I don't even enjoy using any drugs any more because I've come to realize they're just a band-aid for my greater desires and perceived failures. I've come to realize that wealth is not correlated with intellect, but rather with something more akin to NWO-type conspiracies, more along the lines of nepotism. The only wealthy people I know from my age group are wealthy via nepotism. It angers me and I want to lash out, but to do so would bring only momentary pleasure and could land me in a worse place.

I'm just frustrated I guess. I can't just walk into a business and say, "Hey, I'm very intelligent, I would like a high paying job please!" My abilities are worthless because I have no one to back me up. No work experience to prove myself. The teaching positions I've been applying for constantly ask for coworker referral letters, which I cannot get because, having never been a teacher aside from day to day subbing, I don't have anyone to vouch for my abilities.
 
Do you have anyone you could use as a reference from your subbing? Yeah that entry level job thing is bullshit. When I was looking for jobs after college, I found so many that said "entry level position! blah blah blah 2 years professional experience in the field required". I was like, then it's not entry level! Fortunately some places will take someone fresh into the field. To me it seems like the fact that you have been subbing means someone will look upon you as having some experience, but I've never tried to be a teacher.

Hang in there man, the only way you definitely won't get where you want to be is if you give up. <3 Lots of people are struggling to land good jobs, but if you're persistent and you don't start giving off bad vibes in interviews or stop believing in yourself, you'll get there. And making 6 figures means nothing, the American dream is a lie anyway. You need to make money to be comfortable but no need to be as "successful" as other people you see. Plenty of people who make tons of money are unhappy as fuck. It becomes a chase and it's never enough. You gotta learn to be happy with what you have.
 
I think (I hope) I'd be happy with even half of what my father and others make. Yeah, the subbing on my resume should help, but I didn't make any good connections when doing it, as I was at a different school in a different classroom every day and never maintained contact with people. If my job cuts my hours, I'll likely sub again to pick up the slack, and maybe then I can figuratively shove my foot in someone's door.

My fiance's mother is a teacher in a local district and has been kind enough to fudge her recommendation letters for me, but so far it hasn't been enough. I need more it would seem. I also need to study sports because it seems quite apparent that I won't get a teaching job without putting in my time as 'Coach Gravy' for at least the first year or two... ugh. The kids will be sad when they find out their coach knows less about the sport they're playing than they do :|
 
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