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Eh, fuck. Spent the last few days in hospital...Ended up having multiple tonic-clonic seizures. I feel so scattered, I cannot remember anything properly....feels like real life been a dream. I'm staying with my mum, and my uncle (who used to be a GP) is spending time there too. I have been prescribed phenobarbital (injection) which my uncle can administer if I have another fit.

And yeah- most likely caused by use of PCP. :\ Silly silly...And my god, I am so sleepy....

Yeah I've only had a few seizures in my life, one major one and a scattering of random convulsive/absent episodes. Major one was opiate W/D-induced, one dust-induced and the rest from my short period on neuroleptics/anti-epileptics while abusing benzos on the side. It's weiirrd, weiirrd shit to experience, I can't imagine what it must be like to have epilepsy, episodes like that going back to childhood. I only recall dissociating heavily during childhood, due to sexual/psychological abuse and that is fucked up enough. But seizures are like being thrown from straight sober into PCP/K overdose level delirium within seconds. Out of all the crazy mental experiences I've had I can do without experiencing that ever again.

I hope your feeling better man, snap out of that shit like Chief Broom!
 
Welcome!! I don't think I've tripped in months -- can't wait for my next adventure! Gonna be soon I think.



Glad to have you back in PD, willow... hope you're well again ASAP!

thanks mate yeah this was the first trip i've had in a good 6-8 months never had one like this before im in love =D never realised lsd could be so intense....
 
Mmmmm.... bacon & egg burrito...

Ya know, there's only one single food that I actually pity vegetarians for not being able to eat. And that's bacon :D

Oh the swine, what a noble and delicious beast! =D

Eh, fuck. Spent the last few days in hospital...Ended up having multiple tonic-clonic seizures. I feel so scattered, I cannot remember anything properly....feels like real life been a dream. I'm staying with my mum, and my uncle (who used to be a GP) is spending time there too. I have been prescribed phenobarbital (injection) which my uncle can administer if I have another fit.

And yeah- most likely caused by use of PCP. :\ Silly silly...And my god, I am so sleepy....

Hope you start feeling better soon, friend! <3 I'm so sorry that you keep having to struggle through these seizures :( But yeah, lay off stuff like PCP-- anything with dopaminergic properties is prolly bad. AFAIK, increasing dopamine can cause glutamate to run a muck and throw all the electrical activity in the brain off balance.

Stay safe, bro. I'm glad you're with family, especially considering that your uncle is a doctor! Best of luck getting stabilized. :)
 
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WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP junkie
good to see you came up in hurr finally
 
Eh, fuck. Spent the last few days in hospital...Ended up having multiple tonic-clonic seizures. I feel so scattered, I cannot remember anything properly....feels like real life been a dream. I'm staying with my mum, and my uncle (who used to be a GP) is spending time there too. I have been prescribed phenobarbital (injection) which my uncle can administer if I have another fit.

And yeah- most likely caused by use of PCP. :\ Silly silly...And my god, I am so sleepy....

Hope your doing better man. Think im gonna stay away from the pcp stuff from now on.
 
Thanks for all the well wishing guys...:) <3

Yeah I've only had a few seizures in my life, one major one and a scattering of random convulsive/absent episodes. Major one was opiate W/D-induced, one dust-induced and the rest from my short period on neuroleptics/anti-epileptics while abusing benzos on the side. It's weiirrd, weiirrd shit to experience, I can't imagine what it must be like to have epilepsy, episodes like that going back to childhood. I only recall dissociating heavily during childhood, due to sexual/psychological abuse and that is fucked up enough. But seizures are like being thrown from straight sober into PCP/K overdose level delirium within seconds. Out of all the crazy mental experiences I've had I can do without experiencing that ever again.

I hope your feeling better man, snap out of that shit like Chief Broom!

I'm in a similar boat, sexual abuse when I was young, catatonia between the age of 7-10 as well as random blackouts and dissociative phenomena, I was diagnosed with epilepsy and PTSD. All of this mellowed out until about 2 yrs ago when I began blacking out and having abscence seizures again....I actually got diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (better known as multiple personality disorder), but after a whopping grand mal seizure and subsequent MRI, that diagnosis was quashed and it was determined that all these odd neurological events were based on epilepsy and related syndromes. The epilepsy reared its head again due to benzo tapering... It was odd how much the doctors I had been seeing wanted me to have DID and overlooked obvious seizure activity and my past history. Fucking quacks...:|

I swear, I've just got a weird brain, I sleep walk, dream lucidly and for most of the night, expericene crazy hynogogic hallucinations, get needlesly panicked and paranoid...I feel sorry for my now ex-Miss Willow, I'm not a big guy but she had it hard trying to get me to stay in bed, and when I did stay in bed, it was hard for her to avoid me punching her...:\

Anyhow, i believe I will abstain from all drugs for a long long time....
 
yeah sounds like you should willow
wow though....thats serious mang
respek mang, i hope you get better
 
Anyhow, i believe I will abstain from all drugs for a long long time....

That's probably for the best, I mean it's not often that abstaining from drugs turns out to be a bad idea (and if it is, one can always start back up again). Hmm, just be sure to schedule yourself plenty of activities to make up for it, exhaustion and relaxation are both part of a healthy lifestyle (lol, talk about not practicing what I preach, but that's my problem).


willow said:
DID and stuff but not really

And that's why I'm reluctant to trust doctors/a rationalization for my refusal to seek psychological help. They're human, and they're just as prone to seeing what they want to see as the rest of us, and they're not without their biases and unhelpful-to-harmful treatment practices (or at least, practices that I firmly believe will be deemed so in the future).


Don't be a afraid to take a break from BL as well if you think it will help/worry we'll act as a trigger. Love and swirls to you forever, dude. <3
 
And that's why I'm reluctant to trust doctors/a rationalization for my refusal to seek psychological help. They're human, and they're just as prone to seeing what they want to see as the rest of us, and they're not without their biases and unhelpful-to-harmful treatment practices (or at least, practices that I firmly believe will be deemed so in the future).

I agree that its not wise to trust doctors simply because they are doctors. However, there are doctors out there who think critically and don't merely subscribe to the "party line", but they aren't necessarily easy to find. I think the best advice that can be given with regard to choosing an M.D. is to search tirelessly for a good one.

Due to the nature of medical education, not all doctors are created equal. When choosing a doctor, I always attempt to discern their level of general scientific competency. I want to be sure that the person taking care of me is in that position because of a general love of knowledge and desire to help others, rather than a need for power or status. I think that's one of the biggest factors.

Like anything involving humans, it all comes down to the individual person. You need to choose someone who is rigorously objective yet humanist; ie, they will not allow their personal biases to affect the level of care you receive, however they will also show a genuine level of care for you as a person. Honestly, this is an extremely difficult balance to achieve because hard science doesn't translate well into genuinely human situations: this is the most fundamental problem inherent to modern medicine.

Anyways, there shouldn't be any reason that you don't seek help. However, don't be content with anything mediocre: know that you deserve the assistance of the most competent and caring professionals in the field and seek that out to the best of your ability. :) <3
 
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