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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Nexus for gibberish of the psychedelicized genius and veritably insane

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I had my third experience with aMT a few days ago and it was the first time I was properly tripping. It was amazing!! Can't wait to do it again and try out all these other psychedelics that are out there :D
 
^ I'm afraid LSD addiction is all too real, my friend. I'm down the rabbit hole for good, there's no coming back for me. :D



Man, oh man. I am beyond ecstatic right now. I kinda want to continuously groan in delight, but I think that would rather bother my very beautiful and awesome roommate. :)

I started the day with 0.5 mg lorazepam, and then I'm not sure how much 4-AcO-DMT fumarate I ended up taking, but over many hours, maybe 50 or even 60 mg? First, I listened to the pianist Keith Jarrett's Köln Concert. The man has a rough day, the opera house gives him their worst piano. He sits down, and just improvises for an hour, no plans. Incredible - I'll say no more.

Then I listened to Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2. I cannot deny the existence of some kind of God after watching those brilliant crystalline neon three dimensional... creatures... come to life behind closed eyes. <3

Man, they don't call these people geniuses for nothing. Seriously, if you want to listen to music, this is the stuff you need to hear. But don't waste it on sobriety. :D
 
Thinking of some 4-aco-dmt today :D 25mg and chill out with some music and decks. Hoping it wont keep me up all night after as that's the reason I'm opting for it over some cid, plus more chilled headspace should be easier to mix. :)
 
How blue the cloudless sky!
How green the grass and leaves!
How grey the street, red the wood!
Everything is bathed in warmth and light,
birds are chirping melodiously.

Everything is so present,
objects entirely within themselves.
Myself as well, I am here as much as all else,
I can feel myself on the ground.

Why so different today?
Such a light mood, smiling content,
the horror small and unobtrusive.
I need wine, crisp and white,
the day calls for Bacchanalia.
 
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Haha, yeah I don't know what's up with my brain right now. The Chardonnay is good though, think I'll have some more, some tea, then head out. But before then, have some paintings (I started with vewing some Gauguin and Cézanne, don't ask me how I ended up with these):

NSFW:

Renoir - Dance at Bougival
tumblr_ldoj5s0sKW1qae2dno1_500_zpsf14ba5f6.jpg



Edouard Manet - A Bar at the Folies Bergere
A-Bar-at-the-Folies-Bergere_zps46b7d159.jpg

 
You cannot stay on the summit forever;
you have to come down again.
So why bother in the first place? Just this:

What is above knows what is below,
but what is below does not know what is above.
One climbs, one sees.
One descends, one sees no longer,
but one has seen!

There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up.
When one can no longer see, one can at least still know.

-- from Mount Analogue by Rene Daumal (part of the inspiration for Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain)
 
I'm in shock that people would rather trip on DXM then LSD I mean when I did them each there was no comparison. Dxm made me feel like my brain cells were all jumping out of my ears and saying fuck you on the way down.

LSD felt like my brain cells were all in some busy office somewhere like you see with the stock brokers and stuff. So much thinking going on.
 
cerebral_pauly said:
I'm in shock that people would rather trip on DXM then LSD I mean when I did them each there was no comparison. Dxm made me feel like my brain cells were all jumping out of my ears and saying fuck you on the way down.

LSD felt like my brain cells were all in some busy office somewhere like you see with the stock brokers and stuff. So much thinking going on.
Click to expand...

sometimes i'd rather turn off than turn on *shrugs*
 
TheAppleCore said:
^ I could be wrong, but I doubt you'll ever get back to your old self again. Everything is transient, and life never really does the same thing twice. The healthiest attitude is to recognize the beauty in the new self, not clinging to the old self. Just IMHO.
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My old self was someone that was very happy, optimistic, physically active, had a great social life, was productive, and very motivated in working twords my future. My new self is overwhelmed with axiety and depression from having to deal with severe chronic pain among other chronic health issues which is the main reason I had to quit college and give up on trying to make it into grad school. Even if I did get in I don't think I could handle grad school for a science degree with the way my health is. I have no motivation to go back. No matter how hard I would work and how good I would do my health issues would act up bad at the worse possible times and destroy all the hard work I did. It also didn't help that I would sometimes overwork my self with too many classes. For a long time I didn't let it discourage me stayed positive and kept trying and trying despite my health issues but finally I just said fuck and accepted the facts and called it quits. I really don't have a social life life anymore and spend most of my time just watching tv, sitting at my pc playing games and surfing the web, smoking weed( only for 1 1/2 weeks out of the month since my pain doc drug tests me) and tripping. Not much is beautiful or healthy about that; well my psychedelic and dissosociative experiences are pretty beautiful but my regular use of them isn't that healthy.

During my mushroom+dmt trip on Saterday I started to think about how in spite of my dibilitating health issues I need to get back into the real world and do something with my life soon along with getting a social life again. I have accepted my original plans are not going to work out a long time ago but I do have some other ideas that I have had in my mind for a long time that have the potential to lead to something good.
 
Had a great trip on LSD yesterday, joined by my friend/housemate who took 2C-D for his first time. It's been a pretty long time since I did LSD.

It was very therapeutic for me, I was able to let go of a lot of stuff on an intuitive level and get past it during meditation - felt nothing but gratitude for a while.

<3
 
^Good to hear the trip went well for you soli. I still plan on waiting until summer to trip, I am hoping to try ayahuasca for the first time then.

So today I got dressed up in a nice white dress shirt, tie, and all that just to go out to the coffee shop and read for a little while. I feel like I'm in disguise as a normal person %), plus I simply like dressing conservatively.
 
phenethylo J said:
My old self was someone that was very happy, optimistic, physically active, had a great social life, was productive, and very motivated in working twords my future. My new self is overwhelmed with axiety and depression from having to deal with severe chronic pain among other chronic health issues which is the main reason I had to quit college and give up on trying to make it into grad school. Even if I did get in I don't think I could handle grad school for a science degree with the way my health is. I have no motivation to go back. No matter how hard I would work and how good I would do my health issues would act up bad at the worse possible times and destroy all the hard work I did. It also didn't help that I would sometimes overwork my self with too many classes. For a long time I didn't let it discourage me stayed positive and kept trying and trying despite my health issues but finally I just said fuck and accepted the facts and called it quits. I really don't have a social life life anymore and spend most of my time just watching tv, sitting at my pc playing games and surfing the web, smoking weed( only for 1 1/2 weeks out of the month since my pain doc drug tests me) and tripping. Not much is beautiful or healthy about that; well my psychedelic and dissosociative experiences are pretty beautiful but my regular use of them isn't that healthy.

During my mushroom+dmt trip on Saterday I started to think about how in spite of my dibilitating health issues I need to get back into the real world and do something with my life soon along with getting a social life again. I have accepted my original plans are not going to work out a long time ago but I do have some other ideas that I have had in my mind for a long time that have the potential to lead to something good.
Click to expand...

Ah, O.K. You've clarified things well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and healthy, of course, but you can't force it. The best way to recover is to let the gravity of good vibes pull you back, while you busy yourself with other more attainable goals, like pursuing those ideas you mentioned in the second paragraph, whatever they may be.



Well, this could be either the best or worst day of my life:

I just discovered Skyrim runs smoothly on my laptop. =D I never even bothered installing it until now, because I was almost certain it would be too slow. I felt like it just barely ran Oblivion at a nice framerate and resolution, but strangely, Skyrim seems to run virtually just as well. I guess it makes sense, because they had to design the graphics engine with XBox 360 in mind, which is a really old system at this point.

I don't even know how many hours I spent playing that game today. IMO it is the epitome of video RPGs, at present.
 
So tomorrow my friend and I are gonna trip, he hasn't done a pure 4-sub since I had metocin a few years ago.
Unfortunately my psych tolerence is very high right now...
I'm thinking of going with ethocin for our hike, what do you think? I feel like 4-AcO-DMT might be too much for someone with less than 10 trips under their belt, along with being in public.

What do you guys think? I'm probably going to be in the guide capacity this go around.
 
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