onthebeach
Greenlighter
I had my third experience with aMT a few days ago and it was the first time I was properly tripping. It was amazing!! Can't wait to do it again and try out all these other psychedelics that are out there :D
i honestly could see myself getting addicted to this (uncle cid)
I'm in shock that people would rather trip on DXM then LSD I mean when I did them each there was no comparison. Dxm made me feel like my brain cells were all jumping out of my ears and saying fuck you on the way down.
LSD felt like my brain cells were all in some busy office somewhere like you see with the stock brokers and stuff. So much thinking going on.
^ I could be wrong, but I doubt you'll ever get back to your old self again. Everything is transient, and life never really does the same thing twice. The healthiest attitude is to recognize the beauty in the new self, not clinging to the old self. Just IMHO.
My old self was someone that was very happy, optimistic, physically active, had a great social life, was productive, and very motivated in working twords my future. My new self is overwhelmed with axiety and depression from having to deal with severe chronic pain among other chronic health issues which is the main reason I had to quit college and give up on trying to make it into grad school. Even if I did get in I don't think I could handle grad school for a science degree with the way my health is. I have no motivation to go back. No matter how hard I would work and how good I would do my health issues would act up bad at the worse possible times and destroy all the hard work I did. It also didn't help that I would sometimes overwork my self with too many classes. For a long time I didn't let it discourage me stayed positive and kept trying and trying despite my health issues but finally I just said fuck and accepted the facts and called it quits. I really don't have a social life life anymore and spend most of my time just watching tv, sitting at my pc playing games and surfing the web, smoking weed( only for 1 1/2 weeks out of the month since my pain doc drug tests me) and tripping. Not much is beautiful or healthy about that; well my psychedelic and dissosociative experiences are pretty beautiful but my regular use of them isn't that healthy.
During my mushroom+dmt trip on Saterday I started to think about how in spite of my dibilitating health issues I need to get back into the real world and do something with my life soon along with getting a social life again. I have accepted my original plans are not going to work out a long time ago but I do have some other ideas that I have had in my mind for a long time that have the potential to lead to something good.