• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat

☮ Social ☮ [PD Social General Talk Thread] Observation Tank for Fractallized Redundancy Modules

Status
Not open for further replies.
I have all my shit in one place too. Except that back in the day when my ex-wife made me throw out my (substantial) stash (full of rarities and great things), I had hidden a couple of particularly rare samples in my closet. years later I was cleaning and found them... they were a bag of DiPT, 100mg of synthetic 4-HO-DMT, and a dose of DOM. I used them all since then, but they were nice finds considering I thought it was all gone.

^A couple years ago, when I was on meth 24/7, I had a stash, a secret stash, and an emergency stash.

For the first time since I was a kid, I actually had a professional haircut, and it's styled now too (free, as a perk of working at a barber shop), after which the owner said to me, "Now you look like a normal person, and not a serial killer." LOL. It looks good, I must say.

Nice. :) I haven't my hair cut in over a year, it's down to my shoulders now, about as long as it's ever been. I'm gonna let it go longer too, not sure how long. I also let my beard grow out, it's probably an inch/inch and a half long. I like it, but I'm going to keep the beard trimmed where it's at (my girlfriend does that for me :) - she also loves to play with it), because I don't see myself with one of those epicly long beards. I also don't see myself with super long hair (like the guitar player in my band has hair down to his ass, it's awesome on him but I don't think I want to go there).
 
Last edited:
Once while attempting to scrape the back of my old cluttered drug drawer for bits of cannabis, I felt something lumpy and ended up pulling out an old bag containing about seven grams.... That was a nice night. :)

"Now you look like a normal person, and not a serial killer."

That's funny, a couple days ago a friend of mine had someone say something like this to her too. Her sharing of this story was concluded with an exuberant high five.
 
I've been a bit anxious lately, and also quit all tobacco/vaping on Wednesday, so I was searching the house for my etizolam, which I know I had a bunch left -- never did find it, but I came across an envelope with 6 150ug blots of ETH-LAD. That made my day!

Hey! I found my etizolam! lol Now everything is back and accounted for. 2 stashes - the marijuana stash and the other stuff stash.
 
The "dosing women with LSD for mind control purposes" thread that got closed earlier reminded me of this scene from Eric Andre:

[video]https://youtu.be/k4GQv5OMk_w?t=24s[/video]
 
A good friend's little brother asked me to tutor him in American history for a test he has tomorrow. I'm nervous because this will be my first experience teaching anyone really (and I've kinda put my eggs in the teaching career basket at this point) and I'm not sure if I'll be able to convey concepts well. I guess it's as good a time as any to find out if I can hahah.
 
I Think This Clerk Knew What Was Up

It's not a paranoid thing or anything, it's actually kinda funny. Anyways, I was buying morning glory seeds this time in the middle of the winter. Then, this really chill seeming girl was ringing me up at the counter. She just kept saying, "cool" about me buying the seeds =D The way she just kept saying it, I kinda think she had an idea what I was gonna do. I don't exactly seem like the type of guy that'd be into gardening, plus it'd seem real unlikely in mid winter. Anyways, I can't say for sure but it was pretty funny. I mean she could've been saying it just because they're a beautiful plant, but I doubt it =D I think she had that idea, especially since I'd been eating them a bit before and buying them at the same store. If that was true, that was pretty cool =D
 
Holy shit... I have had an INTENSE last week and a half, people have been coming to me with issues or I've been dealing with the issues of others every day. The absolute worst of it came this morning though. I logged on Facebook to a message from my ex brother-in-law (my ex's little sister's husband). Apparently my ex's little sister has the same out-of-control rage/emotional abuse/controlling thing as she does, except it sounds like even worse. He sent a long message saying he hoped it was okay to contact me but he didn't know who else to turn to because he always thought I was a good guy and he knows I've been through the same sort of thing. Basically they were arguing heatedly and she started hitting him (which happens 1/2 times per week usually, reminds me of my relationship with her except more often), and she was raging out of control right next to their toddler daughter who was on the floor. So he grabbed her in a hug around her arms to stop her and walked with her to the other room and begged her not to do that in front of the kids. So she stormed out, which he says is normal (she walks to her mom's house down the road to cool off), but then an hour and 45 minutes later she decided to call the police, and they came to his house and arrested him in front of the kids. He eventually got to read the police report and she claimed he choked her and gave her "massive internal bruising as if from a car crash". The police report also said no visible injuries so his attorney thinks it won't work. But she filed an order of protection against him so he's not allowed near his kids or his house, since the 4th. The hearing is on the 29th.

He was talking to me about all the stuff she puts him through and it was like deja vu, it sounds JUST like what my ex (her sister) did to me, except even more severe (plus they have kids whereas we don't). I feel SO bad for the guy. I'm pretty sure he wanted me to talk him into leaving her. I didn't feel comfortable saying it outright but I did relate my experiences and thought processes in my relationship and divorce. He's afraid of her watching the kids now in case her anger takes a focus on them. Or that she won't be able to raise them well and will just pass this shit directly on to them (he is the responsible parent, making most of the money, not being half-insane, etc). He does a lot of their care as it is, he's far better with them (I can concur because their first kid and I were really close for 2 years before my relationship ended). He says he still loves her but he doesn't even know what he'd be saving. At this point he just wants to be able to see his kids and ensure they're being taken care of.

He was really, really grateful that I talked to him about it. I spent about an hour and a half of my work day doing it but I'm glad I did. He says he has no one to talk to about it. I feel so bad...

It also makes me SO glad I got out of that family, and it makes me incredulous at myself once again that I put up with that sort of thing (well not quite that bad even but still horrendous) for 12 years. And it makes me appreciate my girlfriend SO MUCH. <3 17 months and STILL not a single argument or any behavior that was in any way disrespectful or painful or negative.
 
Last edited:
Holy shit, I never want to find myself with those crazy women. And here I am, the love of my life has some serious mental disorders. Where are the balanced girls?

I'm on a somewhat forced sobriety break atm, I had to pay for my car maintenance and inspection so no money for drugs for a while.. Probably gonna eat my stash of LSD, DOC and 5-meo-mipt during this time :D

btw Xorkoth I have 2x 2,3mg doc blotters, I will trip pretty hard if I eat those together? The most of DOC I've eaten is about 3.5mg or something. Do you like higher (>4mg) dose DOC trips?
 
Last edited:
i've had friends IRL go through similar things recently, with girlfriends and wives lying to the police and the police making arrests with 0 supporting evidence. its like there's an epidemic of it or something lately.

i don't understand why police seem to just blindly believe females.

i've had similar things happen with one ex, that i was thankfully only with for about a year. she used to get physically abusive.... she was 5'9" 170lbs and i was 6'0" 185lbs. she grew up in a family of military men and wrestlers (her brother actually might be on the US greco roman team for the summer olympics this year). one night when she was being abusive i finally had enough and hit her back. she was very very drunk, started packing her stuff saying she was going to drive back to her parents' place in chicago (she was living with me in central michigan). i didn't know what to do to stop her, there was no way she should get behind the wheel, i didn't want to get physical with her again, so i called the cops. the cops got there, she lied her ass off to them, i told the truth.... i got charges pressed against me and they let her go expressing sympathy for her "situation." now, mind you, i was actually bleeding from where she punched me.... she hit me in the side of the head hard enough that my glasses cut open a gash behind my ear. i also had bruises. she had no marks on her.

what a fucked up system. i ended up pleaing down to disorderly conduct from the original domestic violence charge. all the charges would have been dropped had i gone to trial, but i didn't want to dish out $6,000 to my lawyer for a trial. so i took the plea bargain. i've regretted it ever since. should have just gone to trial.
 
Damn man, that's intense too. :( I think people automatically believe the females because of how much worse the abuse is usually from male to female. I mean I got abused by my ex but I never got actually hurt... I could stop her if I tried. If a guy is abusive it can get really, really bad and often is. I'm sure the automatic belief stems from a protective place, but we should look at things on a case by case basis. If a woman claims to have massive internal bruising and have been choked, they should examine her to make sure that's true, and if it's not well, that indicates she's lying and is the one in the wrong.

xammy, I actually rarely take DOC above 3mg, 3mg is my sweet spot and sometimes even 2mg gives me a strong trip. I've taken it at 4.2mg once, and 4.5mg once. They were very, very strong trips, to the point that I had periods of time where I couldn't have functioned if I needed to. I enjoyed it a lot though. But it can be pretty overwhelming, for a very long time. Even .5mg gives a very, very light trip, 1mg even gives me some visuals and a fully developed but light trip.
 
All this girls ruining peoples lives talk bums me out. Reminds me of a year of my relationship when my girlfriend would punch me frequently over little shit... I too just sat and took it, thinking I deserved it because of a transgression from our first year of dating... It has been 5 years since the incident which earned me such treatment and only just in the past year or two has she forgiven me. Our relationship is pretty solid these days, but I still have to wonder if it could flip upside down at the drop of a hat.

My girlfriend told me on Valentines day that a male coworker of hers had asked her to go see a movie with him sometime soon, and she said yes. She won't listen to me when I try to explain to her that I'm not cool with her essentially going on a date with some dude, that's how shit fucking starts, then boom your woman is leaving you for some guy who was 'just a friend' before... It has upset me so much that I've been unable to sleep well or even eat full meals since Sunday... She says she's not like me (I cannot conceive of friendship with the opposite sex, for me it's either I'm courting or I'm not interacting at all) that she's not automatically interested in someone just because she's hanging out with them... I don't give two fucks, for Christ's sake, I am a man and I know damn well that when a MAN asks a girl to 'hang out', his intentions are primarily sexual. A movie is a fucking date damn it! I don't go see movies one on one with other chicks God damn it!

It's eating me up inside. My girlfriend has been ever faithful to me, but in the past any time a man befriends her, it's always me or them who leaves her life (never has been me yet)... but what if I fucking lose out this time? She's gonna say my jealousy is stifling her freedom or some shit. Them I'm gonna beat the shit out of the dude or whatever, then she's gonna use it as reason to leave.... Ohhhhh God fucking damn it. I can't take it.

All I've ever wanted in life was to be asexual so I could focus on what mattered in life, but noooooo, instead I have to deal with my sexuality and the people which use it to hurt me in the end.
 
23

It's not like I don't trust my girlfriend, it's more of an insecurity of myself and my ability to be the right person for her.

And we get along great normally, it's just these days it's been more like we're just best friends rather than lovers. Really ever since we moved home from college. She just hates it here I think.
 
there obviously is no concrete math on the subject, but i'd say the odds of finding your soulmate at the age of 18 are pretty slim. she might be the one tho. 5+ years is a long time. but still, you are very much still very young (my mother would call you a baby).

i'm in a pessimistic mood so perhaps i'm not the best at this pep talk right now =p but i guess what i'm saying is hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. don't let paranoia and possessiveness kill things, but at the same time if her hanging out with other guys ends up with her leaving you, it won't be the end of the world.

i've only been with my girlfriend for not quite a month now, but i'm pretty sure she's the one. took me til the age of 29 to find her. had several long relationships before now, some good, some bad. all of them i wanted to be for the rest of my life. none of them were. i lived.

never thought i'd be the one to say hokey things like this, but when you find the one you just know. your mind might question, but your soul feels at home. in the past, all my relationships, my mind was sure, but my soul wasn't.......
 
I know exactly how you feel 240sx, spot on what I went through with the then-girlfriend at your age. Unfortunately my experience has left me very cynical and bitter, so any advice I could give will be biased.

All I'll say is regardless of what your girl feels towards you or what she thinks is going down, I absolutely agree with you on the very likely intentions of the male co-worker. The only reason I'd be "ok" with it with my current partner is we've both been screwed in the past, and I believe her when she says she will never cheat on someone but rather break up with them if it were at that point....but without this, I'd be feel exactly as you do now.
 
To play the devil's advocate for a second, if you trust your partner - and have a healthy relationship - there is no reason to have a problem with people hanging out with friends of the opposite sex.
It is context dependant though - and the caveat "...if you trust your partner" is all important.

I'm the opposite to you, in the sense that i have always had lots of female friends who i enjoy spending time with, but have absolutely no romantic interest in.
Always hung out with girls, partied with girls, played in bands with girls - that are friends and nothing more.

Obviously i don't know the deal with your relationship, 240sx, but not all guys are "on the make" with women all the time - some of us genuinely want to be friends.
Just thought i'd chime in with that, to add another dimension to the conversation... :)
 
^spacejunk, I realize the complexity of human sexuality, that not all men are horn-dogs, and not all women are I dunno, whatever, but I've had problems in the past where her old male friend tried to come between us (when we first started dating 6 years ago) and made it into some sort of 'him or me' situation in which my girl obviously chose me... but even then, the conflict between me and that guy made her disgruntled with my jealous tendencies, and I just don't know if I'll be able to put it to rest, even understanding that my girlfriend has never given me reason to think she'd be unfaithful.

See, for me pharmakos, it's that I trust my soul in these matters, but not my mind. I know that my girlfriend is good for me, and a good person, and she brings me great joy in life, but my mind is forever plagued by thoughts of the infinite possibilities, many of which include me getting hurt.

I'm still convinced the coworker has not-so-innocent intentions though, and while I trust that my girlfriend can handle herself, if the guy even kissed her without her accepting it kinda thing that'd be enough for me to do something irrational. I flip my shit too easy really... it's just... okay, call me possessive, but she's my woman, she was a virgin when we started dating, and I'm the only guy shes been with. I've had many guys over the years try to pull her out from under me, sometimes people I thought were friends. She's a real catch, beautiful and intelligent. I just feel like I have to protect what's mine. I was never good at sharing anything, and certainly not my girl.
 
I think most people experience jealousy in relationships in thosr kinds of awkward situations.
It's hard to deal with, but pretty normal i think.
Sometimes it can be hard for people experiencing such jealousy or insecurity not to act in possessive ways, which obviously can push the person in question away completely.

Emotions are complicated and hard (because they are not rational a lot of the time!) so i emphathise with your situation.
My personal belief is that the best way to approach situations like this is to try to consider your actions and words before you act out on them (which might be easier said than done) - and try not to act too rashly.

Because it is often possessive behaviours that can fuck with a relationship more than the attentions of someone external to it, in my experience and observations anyway.

Whatever happens, maybe try to think of love as a learning curve.
There are plenty of experiences to be had - some beautiful, some crushing - but hearts do heal, and hurt fades with time.
I think back to my early 20s and realise how i thought i knew what i was doing, but in hindsight i was completely deluding myself into thinking i was happy.
Absolutely everyone approaches relationships differently, and there are so many variables it is mindblowing.
You can love someone so much that you decide to spend your life with them, but sometimes we fall into thinking that spending your life with someone is the natural course of things, and start looking at everyone as potentially being "the one".

This can push us into all kind of emotional and philosophical contortions, as we try to reconcile our own lives with somebody else's.
I suppose what i'm getting at is that if your relationship is causing you lots of jealousy and grief, it might not be the best relationship to be in. You're only young once, and as you get older (and your girlfriends presumably do too) you start having to deal with ideas like "marriage", "mortgage" and/or the dreaded "biological clock" conversations......
Enjoy your youth - you don't get another one 8o <3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top