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☮ Social ☮ [PD Social General Talk Thread] Observation Tank for Fractallized Redundancy Modules

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We had a really productive band practice today... we're working on 4 new songs and another on the way, and I'm going to try to write my first song over the holidays visiting family. It's really exciting, we're getting so much better and really progressing. :) Feels good to be rewarded for all the time and energy we put into it.
 
fuck me for ever convincing myself its okay to overstep the limits i've created for myself in the past. I did etizolam three nights in a row and now I feel shitty. I also did cocaine like four or five times in the past week. Hopefully working out and gaining physical strength helps bring me the mental strength to get through the next few months of my life without slipping up in some way. I have no idea why I feel so much pressure to succeed, but then again how much longer will I be able to maintain any form of stability or independence without a successful job at least.

I'm putting my portfolio together to bring it into a tattoo parlor and ask for an apprenticeship. Maybe tattoo shops are extra intimidating in the first place and the fact that I don't have any tattoos yet definitely doesn't help. I'm just so afraid to choose a plan for my life because I feel like i'm going to regret whatever decision I make. Nothing seems like it will make me happy besides maybe growing weed which is quite an entrepreneurial gamble. ugh, it feels like I have to grow up right now and I hate it.
 
^I'm looking forward to hearing what you come up with.

Smoking cannabis to help with lung pain so I can smoke more cigarettes. LOL, addict logic, I'm definitely gonna try to visit the doc next week. In other news, they're putting me on an SSRI, I have consented to see how it goes for a couple months, before demanding to be put back on benzos again, which they don't want to do. They also transferred me from my usual psych to the specialist I was supposedly only gonna see twice, I like this doc, he's much less compassionate and understanding than the other. I dunno, it pisses me off but I laugh about it when I get home, I respect his rational and businesslike treatment of me.
 
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SONN said:
fuck me for ever convincing myself its okay to overstep the limits i've created for myself in the past. I did etizolam three nights in a row and now I feel shitty.
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I know this may only be a portion of why you're feeling down, but I wouldnt beat your myself up over doing benzos for 3 days in a row. It's not like that's enough time to get hooked again (if you ever were in the first place.) You may have started to get comfortable taking them but it won't hurt to not take them on day 4.
 
yea I didn't take etizolam last night, just melatonin.

it seems that I've once again been struck by malaise, or a general feeling of shit. It's because of the loss i've experienced this year, I'm pretty certain. I keep searching for some sort of benefactor that will help me achieve my goals.. but I've pretty much ran out of them so it's all me from here on out. AT LEAST I HAVE YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THOUGH~~ <3

I wish other people could understand what an invaluable resource the support of this forum has been for me.
 
I've had better luck skipping things like melatonin when trying to combat benzos. Just go to sleep naturally, even if it takes some time and is stressful.. Just lay there, try to not move while in a comfortable position, sleep will come eventually...
 
Back on the job after spending a week and a half off trying to recover from alcohol induced pancreatits. It has been hard, even after going through all of that pain I still have strong cravings to have a drink, especially after work as that was normally the time I would geab a few beers for the way home.

Been self-medicating with small doses of MXE throughout the day, and it has been helping me stay content somewhat. Got an early Christmas gift, an acoustic guitar. I have been trying to spend my time teaching myself to play guitar with guitar books. It is slow going as I have no prior experience with instruments, but I love music and really want to play. Trying to stay positive even though work tends to bring me down immensely. Can only hope that by staying hopeful an trying to better myself good things will come way.
 
Im confused, I thought MXE was pretty much no longer acquirable for like the past few months?

will 2FMA probably be more or less nonexistent from now on too? my homies liked that one a lot. hopefully IPH is well received by them too.
 
SONN said:
Im confused, I thought MXE was pretty much no longer acquirable for like the past few months?

will 2FMA probably be more or less nonexistent from now on too? my homies liked that one a lot. hopefully IPH is well received by them too.
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I still have one source left, but supply is dwindling, no doubt eventually coming to an end shortly unless someone in the United States has the ability and desire to produce more. It's a shame that a chemical that isn't even scheduled is unacquirable all due to the ban in China. There really is no replacement.

I would put MXE in the same league as LSD, MDMA, and mushrooms as it is incredibly unique, and possesses its own special magic. I would even go as far to say it is my all-time favorite psychoactive chemical, for its spiritual properties as well as functionability. I hate to put drugs on a pedestal like that, but MXE is simply the best.

One can only hope a new chemical will come to rival it, but as far as the RC's go I don't think anything could ever top how special this one is.
 
Cosmic Giraffe said:
Back on the job after spending a week and a half off trying to recover from alcohol induced pancreatits. It has been hard, even after going through all of that pain I still have strong cravings to have a drink, especially after work as that was normally the time I would geab a few beers for the way home.

Been self-medicating with small doses of MXE throughout the day, and it has been helping me stay content somewhat. Got an early Christmas gift, an acoustic guitar. I have been trying to spend my time teaching myself to play guitar with guitar books. It is slow going as I have no prior experience with instruments, but I love music and really want to play. Trying to stay positive even though work tends to bring me down immensely. Can only hope that by staying hopeful an trying to better myself good things will come way.
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Good to see you again, CG. Yeah, I tried to learn to play guitar off of books. Didn't have the patience at the time. I'd like to try again, but I've been practicing piano, (already play percussion). Sucks about the pancreaitis and alcohol withdrawal. Stay positive! :)
 
I never had MXE, and I have no particular interest in doing drugs, particularly psychedelics or dissociatives again, but you all certainly make a case. With all the interest, though, hopefully(?) some people are going to put their money where their mouthes are and start the ball rolling.

As far as waiting on the next compound, who knows? Nothing matched mepehedrone, right?
 
Just A Guy said:
Good to see you again, CG. Yeah, I tried to learn to play guitar off of books. Didn't have the patience at the time. I'd like to try again, but I've been practicing piano, (already play percussion). Sucks about the pancreaitis and alcohol withdrawal. Stay positive! :)
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Thanks man good to see you as well. The guitar definitely is not something that comes naturally to me and I have always struggled reading music, but it's a positive outlet which I am in desperate need of, and I am hoping that once I grasp the basics the rest will come more easily.

The difference for me when it comes to MXE as opposed to other RCs is that there is nothing missing. An example would be 5-mapb. It's kind of like MDMA, you feel like you are rolling in a way and it certainly is enjoyable/euphoric, but it lacks the love and empathy of a true roll. MXE has that love and empathy, and it mimics nothing. Sure it is a dissociative closely related to ketamine or pcp, but at the same time it is completely unique. When I think MXE I think nostalgia. I have also experienced zero negative mental/physical effects from MXE.
 
There are not as many current quality vendors of MXE as in the past. You would do well to obtain legit mxe, I wouldnt worryabiut what form"

I have been trying to lay of psychedelics for a while. My past few trips have been shit. Still have to take a disso every week or so to fend off general/seasonal mailase and depression.

Accidentally staarted paying attention again. Saw the first day/early hours police scanner coverage of san bernadino shooting. Three shooters leave with hostages. Few hours lTer it turns into two dead muslim terrorist Nd thats all she wrote. Blatant false flag okay cool.

Got halfway through glen greenwald bool kn Snowden. Got to the part on the NSA showwing up at his hoise, but cant manage to find him in China at a hitel booked under his own name. That, abd tge fact Sniwden is still a live. Hi there tripple agent/gov shill etc etc.

I have to go back to not paying attention or I will be misreable and suicidal.
 
^ I feel ya. I don't know what to think. It's all misinformation. Kind of like Russia back in the Soviet days. We could learn a lot from folks who lived through those times there. They learned how to sift through the information when the media was constantly lying to them.

In other news, I found some "S-Isomer European batch crystal sand" MXE. I'm going to get it. Also, I'm wondering how 25b-NBOH would compare to 25i-NBOH. I am very familiar and fond of the latter, but never experienced the former. Any thoughts?
 
MXE is near the top of the list of my preferred substances too, hopefully you got the real deal. I've been having a hard time finding it lately as well although I haven't attempted to order any from the internet. I used to be able to source it locally with no issue so I gave up on ordering it nearly two-three years ago. When I did order it I almost always went for the "sandy" MXE since it was a bit cheaper and the one time I switched to another vendor to get the other type I wasn't very impressed with it. I still have 250mg or so of MXE I ordered three years back, I last dosed out of it last Christmas and it was as strong as ever. I wish I had regular access to it (friend's stash) since he rarely gives me any and never enough to hole. :(

Accidentally staarted paying attention again. Saw the first day/early hours police scanner coverage of san bernadino shooting. Three shooters leave with hostages. Few hours lTer it turns into two dead muslim terrorist Nd thats all she wrote. Blatant false flag okay cool.

Got halfway through glen greenwald bool kn Snowden. Got to the part on the NSA showwing up at his hoise, but cant manage to find him in China at a hitel booked under his own name. That, abd tge fact Sniwden is still a live. Hi there tripple agent/gov shill etc etc.

I have to go back to not paying attention or I will be misreable and suicidal.
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I've been paying attention too much for about two years now. I've gotten to the point with the world that it just all seems like a big game. Mass shootings and terrorist attacks don't even phase me anymore it has basically become entertainment at this point. I don't know if that's a bad or a good thing, all I know is I've lost all trust in the Governments of the world since I started paying attention. I didn't trust them much before that but when you follow world politics closely you quickly lose what little respect you had for it.

Tune out if you must, I think we'd all be better off if we did.
 
yea last time I definitely got MXP and I was pissed because the stuff before was the s-isomer stuff. MXP definitely causes some sort of emotional hangover or comedown with me, the day after I do it I feel all sad almost like an MDMA comedown sometimes, I'm glad it's gone. I'm sure one day somebody is gonna take the responsibility and decide to spread the love that is MXE (hopefully) in the US. It will be legendary forever as arguably the best dissociative there ever was. The afterglow from a good MXE trip makes you feel like your perception of the world has been renewed and you're in such a good mood. it basically cures depression for a while, like K.

/rant

I'm getting 3-meo-pcp in a few days, I'm gonna make a solution for more accurate dosing to be safe, i'm looking forward to it because I haven't had a dissociative besides one DXM and one MXE trip since july. I hope it makes me wanna dance and make music :)


also, Have fun in philly Llama! be safe you crazy mothafucka!


[video]https://www.facebook.com/dduong13/videos/10154095863656110/[/video]<-- me headbanging onstage in front of like 4000 ppl lol feel free to add me on fb <3
 
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