• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat

☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

Status
Not open for further replies.
hey i'm alive

sorry i fell off the map for a bit there. just got really depressed for a bit doing chemo during the winter and built some totally different day to day habits, and internet drug forums slipped my mind, much as i love you guys. <3

i'm still doing chemo, have been doing oxaliplatin+gemcitabine since the end of November now, longest i've ever done chemo at once for. the side-effects aren't so bad with this stuff tho, i'm mostly just super tired. still have all my hair.

my last scan showed no signs of any cancer in my body anymore. which is awesome. they're keeping me on chemo for awhile to make sure it stays that way, tho. probably for the rest of the year still, at least.

i've been trying to stick to my ketogenic diet but i've been having a really hard time struggling to stay away from sweets. i'm starting to get really down on myself about it. it's become a bigger compulsion than any drug habit i've had. i hide it from my loved ones.

otherwise, nothing much is new in life. things with my girlfriend have been pretty good. my 33rd birthday is in a couple weekends.

miss you guys, hope everyone's been okay, have i missed out on any big news this year?
 
Last edited:
Hey man, I'm really, really glad to see you post. :) I was quite worried about you. That's awesome news about the cancer being gone. <3 I really hope it stays gone this time. Glad the side effects aren't so bad this time.

I don't remember when the last time we talked was, but probably the biggest news, besides my divorce finally being 100% over, is that my new band (well, been in it for almost a year now) is really taking off, we're on the road almost every weekend playing shows in a 3-state area and improving so much, it's the best thing ever. :)

Is this your first time seeing the new site software? Can't remember if you've been gone that long or not.
 
yeah first time seeing this new look. i like the new features, but the theme is different enough from classic Bluelight to trigger my aversion to change haha.
 
I was unsure about it for like 2 days, and now I would never go back even if the old software still worked and didn't have a bunch of terrible bugs. The new software is so much easier to use, especially when it comes to quoting (you can highlight bits of text and add them to your multi-quotes, so you don't have to do a bunch of editing just to reply to multiple parts of one post). Posting has been picking up quite a bit because of it too, probably mostly because the old site was basically unusable for mobile users unless they reverted to full site mode which guests browsing wouldn't know about. Apparently as much as 75% of traffic to Bluelight is on mobile phones these days (including guests).
 
pharmakos said:
yeah first time seeing this new look. i like the new features, but the theme is different enough from classic Bluelight to trigger my aversion to change haha.
Click to expand...
I felt similar till I got used to it. The new software brings so much to the table, I can't deny it. Though, they did lose my favorite mod function, so... that's just a bit frustrating. I trust that it will be worked out, because they've already worked out so much more with the new setup.

And by the way, glad to see you're alright. Take care man <3
 
Oh, man, Pharma, Im genuinely happy to see you post. I swear I was just yesterday wondering about you.

Also happy to know you last scan was good news!
 
pharmakos said:
hey i'm alive

sorry i fell off the map for a bit there. just got really depressed for a bit doing chemo during the winter and built some totally different day to day habits, and internet drug forums slipped my mind, much as i love you guys. <3

i'm still doing chemo, have been doing oxaliplatin+gemcitabine since the end of November now, longest i've ever done chemo at once for. the side-effects aren't so bad with this stuff tho, i'm mostly just super tired. still have all my hair.

my last scan showed no signs of any cancer in my body anymore. which is awesome. they're keeping me on chemo for awhile to make sure it stays that way, tho. probably for the rest of the year still, at least.

i've been trying to stick to my ketogenic diet but i've been having a really hard time struggling to stay away from sweets. i'm starting to get really down on myself about it. it's become a bigger compulsion than any drug habit i've had. i hide it from my loved ones.

otherwise, nothing much is new in life. things with my girlfriend have been pretty good. my 33rd birthday is in a couple weekends.

miss you guys, hope everyone's been okay, have i missed out on any big news this year?
Click to expand...

Great to see you man. So it seems like cancer is gone? Fucking amazing :)
 
that last scan was three months ago. i have another scan scheduled for a week from Friday. i'm kind of nervous, i really do credit my keto diet to the success i've had since last summer. but these last few months i've been AWFUL about sticking to it. so yeah, a bit more worried about this test than i have been for the last few earlier this year....
 
Good luck man. Nowhere near the same, but I changed my diet to omit gluten and dairy except for butter, to try to make my psoriasis go away... did it for a good solid year and it was like 75% gone. Then I started cheating a lot and got out of the habit and it's almost as bad as it was before I changed my diet. It's hard to stick long-term to a particular diet.

I had a hell of a time trying to sleep last night. I've been worried it's because of taking etizolam too often for a few weeks, but now that I think about it, it's probably because I took gabapentin last Thursday, then phenibut Saturday, and then gabapentin again on Monday. I use phenibut for playing bigger shows because it really and truly helps me to play the best shows I can, but I should not have taken the gabapentin around it like that. If I limit phenibut to no more than once a week, I just get a down day 2 days after, no big deal. In this case though, there are some withdrawals, but I think yesterday was the worst, so far today I feel a good bit better than yesterday.
 
I had shit sleep too. My reason is a combo of minor Tramadol WD combined with a six pack of beer. Not great. Couldn't stop drinking though. I was cooking this epic stew and some really well done beer bread and it took so long and I just kept drinking beers.

On a side note, good pilsner beers are great for making honey oat beer bread. Saint Arnold's Summer Pilsner (a personal favorite) was used in this case. I might try Pilsner Urquell next time, especially when the seasonal beer is gone. Ooooh, or Shiner's Lemon Pils while that's still running. Mmmmm.

Potentially gonna go out dancing tonight. Gonna see a friend I haven't seen in over 3 months, so psyched to catch up. Wondering if I wana take some dexamp before I leave so as to ensure the kind of energy I'll need if we went clubbing. I've also taken to mentholated tobacco snuff (dry not wet, insufflation) to keep me up when drinking, but I don't know if I'd wana use it on top of dexamp. I don't have a frequent habit yet with tobacco (once a week maybe).
 
Last edited:
Doesn't insufflated snuff burn a lot? I've always been curious about it.

I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday but still anxious and somewhat uncomfortable. Probably gonna not do much this weekend... which is good, I need a rest break, been going hard because of the band and stuff.
 
Xorkoth said:
Doesn't insufflated snuff burn a lot? I've always been curious about it.
Click to expand...
Yeah, if it's not mentholated. I got some without and it burned pretty bad. The addition of menthol makes it more reminiscent of cocaine.

It allows for pretty small doses of nicotine too, which I like a lot.
 
I am working on a huge amount of planning at the moment... since my ex is finally about to be off my house deed I can refinance. I am working on getting 3 estimates per thing I need. The things I need are:
  • New roof
  • 6 new windows and 2 new sets of double french doors, and replacement of a room that is all glass panes on 1 wall and on the ceiling
  • Buying and installing a wood stove
  • A new car (not a house thing but I couldn't possibly get a better rate than with a mortgage, and I have no car and am about to get my license back)
  • Ductless air conditioning
  • Removal of a massive dying tree that will fall on my house if I don't
I scheduled a bunch of estimates today, already had 2 tree people over (the tree alone is gonna be about $1500... and that's with leaving the wood, which I want because it will become a winter's worth of firewood). It gives me anxiety dealing with all this stuff but it feels good to get things moving. I'm probably going to end up owing more on my house than when I first bought it (and I've paid for 11 years of a 30 year mortgage)... gonna get back into a 30 year. But I really have no other way to get tends of thousands of dollars to keep my house in good shape so it doesn't fall apart. I am conflicted about A/C, but it would keep it so much less damp in here and would be nice for July (every other month it's nice inside just having the doors and windows open). Ductless will cost about $7000 for an upstairs and downstairs unit but will also immediately make my house worth more. Not that I'm trying to sell it, but it still matters. The roof alone is gonna be about $10k because of damage it's taken. At least I already fixed my drainage issues myself. And at least my credit score is quite good again, about as good as it's ever been (despite bankruptcy like 5 years ago).

What makes me really kick myself is that one of the guys who did an estimate asked me what this one spot with different colored shingles is about... I told him I patched it myself when a branch punctured through the roof. He said if I had called my insurance company they would have given me a new roof... I could have had a new roof like 2 years ago, for the $1000 deductible. :| Oh well. Live and learn.

I also need a new washing machine, and I REALLY want to fix up my basement/garage and convert it into a bedroom and bathroom, but I don't know if it's feasible at this point with everything else. I may need to just slowly do one thing at a time with it and get it done largely myself over the next couple of years. It would be awesome if I did it though, because it would make my house gain 400-500 sqft, and be 3 bedroom/3 bathroom instead of 2/2. And it's a separate entrance so if I put a kitchenette in, I could rent it out or do AirBnB when I wanted. I just have to watch my total cost. Not sure what it's gonna be yet, I only have some of the numbers back/estimates done.

Being an adult is kinda lame sometimes. Money stress sucks. But it'll be alright, I'll feel much better when it's all done. There's just so much to line up now. Also trying to see if I can find a mortgage company that will have low closing costs. When I tried to refinance a year and a half ago and my ex blocked me from being able to, I went with Quicken Loans, and I was trying to borrow $20k, and the closing costs were $10k, it was nuts... so really I was borrowing $30k to borrow $20k, and over 30 years would have ended up getting like $70k from me just for the extra I borrowed. Seems ridiculous.
 
I should get an air source heat pump, other than that I'm probably good for a decade or two without any big renovations (knocking on wood). Electricity bills can get crazy during winter even when warming the house with firewood almost everyday, like 200€/month. It would cost only like 2-3k € and would save money and also cooling would be nice in summer.
 
So, the company I work for is planning a trip to Haiti to do volunteer work for a school there. I expressed interest because I haven't done that sort of thing in a long time and I've never been to Haiti or anywhere like that. The CEO just called me and said I was selected, so in November I'll be going to Haiti. Pretty excited, it's less than a week but it's time off work and doesn't count towards vacation, and more importantly, it's going to be providing valuable help to people in need, and I'll get to see Haiti. During the evening we'll be staying at a resort, too. Not fancy by our standards but it's on the beach and it's safe, apparently. I'm going to have to get some vaccinations, and also take malaria pills. A little nervous, actually, but looking forward to it mostly. :)
 
What excellent news! That's cool man.

I've been trying to get my (white) shoes clean again after I stepped in this quicksand but then with mud lmao. What a hassle, I saw this nice spot and I thought I could cross, but I got stuck and sunk up to my knees. I don't know what I think sometimes, really liked those shoes, very comfortable, important quality when it comes to shoes!
 
That's sweet xork! Holy fuck TNW I'm so glad too see your still around buddy! We were really worried for a while! Glad your doing alright!<3

Yeah I really don't think anymore about right or wrong with drugs. People are fucked up and life is rough sometimes. So what if I soften the edges a bit? There's worse things I could be doing and as long as I'm taking care of my shit I'm good. I remember CC years ago man. He has a rough go. Xork and I were unsure if we'd ever see him around again. I was so happy when he started posting again and he was doing alright....<3
 
Yeah no judgment from me about any drug use, that's for sure.

I'm really glad to still see those of you around who are around... we've lost so many of this community over the years, and many more who just disappeared.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top