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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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Xorkoth said:
Hey yepyep, good to hear from you. You know, I have a friend who was in a really low place a few years back. He just saved some money, bought a vehicle, and traveled around living in his truck skydiving, climbing and base jumping... after a while he ended up doing like 500 skydives, he was making money doing skydiving photography. I mean, not much money, but he was surviving and he was happy about what he was doing. Eventually he came back feeling like a new man, and started a business doing deck work (staining, washing, fixing, etc)... he just created fliers and started direct mailing and getting business, he didn't have any training except just a general past of doing stuff with his dad and whatnot. These days he's pulling in $10k some months and is about to buy his first land and is building a house on it. He's super happy, has a great girlfriend and they're having a baby. A few years back he was living with me in order to not be homeless and was in such a different place. Doing something you love or at least like makes a big difference. The rest of it sort of fell into place over time.

I'm super stressed right now... trying to refinance my mortgage, which is great, I'll be getting a better rate, borrowing an extra $25k, slightly lower monthly payment than I have now, and I'm using that extra money to do some house repairs, most notably to replace my roof. But I have to get an appraisal and have it come in at a certain value or higher. I know I've had some leaks for years, but I thought I fixed them. However, when clearing out a closet that has shit packed in it, I discovered a bunch of black mold and a soggy ceiling. I need to figure out some way to hide that or else I fear my house's value will be too low. Not to mention, shit like that is really bad and expensive to fix. The damage is substantially more extensive than I thought. It's been raining almost every day this month and today it's been pouring and storming all day. I am fucking sick of the rain, rain makes me anxious because of this shit, I hate it. Why the assholes I bought this house from had to do a shitty job installing a skylight is beyond me. If any of you guys ever own a house that has a roof leak, please consider doing something about it right away. I mean I was dead broke and massively in debt when it started, from opiate addiction. But still. I could have done something. Now it's gonna be way harder. I have the appraisal scheduled for Thursday but I'm trying to get it moved to 2 weeks from now... I'm gonna go visit my family and see my dad on Friday and be gone for 9 days. It's likely the last time I will ever see him while he can still talk at all because he can barely speak now... might be the last time I see him before he's laying there and gets unplugged. Which is probably a big part of why I feel so stressed. Fuck I'm rambling. Time to go to the studio and finish my tracking for 3 new songs... always good for cheering up some.

On the plus side I got back from my first Burn this weekend, it was 300 people, so quite small, and I had a fucking awesome time. When I have more time I'll tell some stories from it.
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Yah, you have referenced that friend before, an older BL poster methinks. This is more detail than I have seen you go into in the past though. Which is cool.

I'm pretty much right there. About a year and a half ago I went skydiving for the first time. Did two tandems and maybe 7-9 solo training jumps. I just didn't have the money to do it all at once, and spacing student jumps a few weeks apart didn't really work for me. I would get nervous again and fuck shit up. Freefall manuevers are way harder than they look. You try and spin in a circle by dropping a leg and all of a sudden you are tumbling with the instructor straightening you out. Then once you throw the hackey and your canopy deploys the real fun begins. Now you are truly alone and have to figure out where the Drop Zone is and how to get back. Also throw in some manuevers you are supposed to accomplish.

Fuck though, it is the most addicting shit I've ever done. I was gonna move to Coloroda when my parole was up in December just for the fuck of it. I wrecked my car right before and ended up having to live with my mom.

My focus is saving for another car. Clocking some dollars (lots of refinerys/plants for shutdown work) for a few months. Then getting my A licence in skydiving (25 jumps, so you can jump on your own. I think I had completed solo jump 5 or 6 out of 18. I might just do the whole program again. Place by me offers A licence package for $2400, which isn't bad considering a single student jump is $150.)

They also offer about $9k for a year of unlimited jumps. It is a pretty top notch facility, and lots of teams train there, people travel from all over for their training programs. Throw in a rig for maybe $4k used? a good tent to sleep in, money to eat. maybe $20k? Even work 3 days a week or some shit as a delivery driver for some cash. I think you have to have 200 jumps to video tandems and shit. That is a good way to make money for sure. I just think if I had a year to do nothing but skydive. I could learn so much. Gain coach/instructor ratings. Basically reinvent myself as a person. Get rid of a lot of the negative baggage I have and just live.

My homeboy is training to be a pilot too. He's just like "yo, we can go into buisness together, travel the world". Haha, don't have to tell me twice.

Just got to get past this hurdle of working a shitty job again, getting a car, finding a $$$$ job . All doable. I just need to keep what i want as a reward in site. Even if I don't end up wanting to do skydiving as a career, what a way to spend a year right? I need to go watch some of my student videos again and just imagine myself in freefall. Such peace.

Sucks about your dad. I've been seeing his slooooww decline through your post for a while. If it was my dad, I'd be like "Are you sick of this shit yet?" and if he said yes just ask a medical person around for a little extra morphine. one night I've read it's not so un common an accurance. Then again, I'm not in that position.
 
Hey sounds like you have a good goal in sight. :) Sometimes just getting out and doing something new that you love is the best medicine. Like you said, reinvent yourself. I'm glad to hear it.

Yeah it does suck about my dad. It's been excruciating and I'm not even there most of the time, it's so bad for him. To be honest he almost told me that once. He said his life is hell all the time and he just wants it to be over. But he doesn't want to hurt us, and also my mom takes care of him and is sort of in denial. She's a great woman but she's... not sure how to explain it. You can't really always get through to her, like, hey, are you actually paying attention to what's going on? He mostly doesn't want to hurt her. Also, my little brother's wife just had a baby which is a boy, named after my dad... he really wanted to see that. I'm gonna meet my first nephew in a couple of days, too, which is awesome so that makes me happy. And he's always really happy to see his kids and especially to see us all together because we're all great friends, my brother is my best friend. And his siblings and him all grew apart and some of them actively hate him for some really bogus shit (they're the bogus ones). I think he wants to go, he wants it to be over, but he is hanging on as long as he can stand it because he also doesn't want to leave us.

To be honest I'm really scared for him for when he can no longer speak... he didn't want to learn to use the voice things that track your eye movement like Stephen Hawking had. And he's constantly needing to ask for things and when he isn't able to get someone to understand what he needs he gets really, really anxious. And my mom gets to this place where she can't help but show resentment towards him and starts to ignore him for as long as she can, later in the evenings. It's gonna be really fucked up for him. But yeah even if he asked me to kill him I couldn't do it. It would be too fucked up.
 
IT's a weird place to be in. Most people couldn't even talk about it I think. It just seems to mostly suck that when his voice goes, he won't have another outlet to communicate. I can understand sticking around to see family, new grandkids, not wanting to hurt people. IMO it prolly wouldn't be too long (if it was me) after I lost the ability to speak and interact with people I'd mentally just be like "fuck it I'm over this I'm dying". I've read a lot of anecdotal reports of older/sick people doing just that.

I dunno, whatever happens be well, and try not to get frustrated because it could be the last time. Regrets suck.
 
Xorkoth said:
But yeah even if he asked me to kill him I couldn't do it. It would be too fucked up.
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Pray he never asks you don't want to be on the receiving end of that question. Someone close to me asked for morphine on their deathbed and I refused because it wasn't my place to make the decision. It might have been a mistake but I told the person I felt was in that position about it, partly because it had been on my mind for two days but also because I did not know if the person might have had an arrangement for this. I knew of other people in the family that did and went through with it with the help of a doctor. I cared a lot about the person and had been watching them suffer for days. I felt like I was the only one that could see where things were heading. I hadn't lost hope but I knew things were very bad at that point.

Anyway, it's rough man. Hang in there and spend all the time you can with them. After everything is said and done that's the one thing I regret not doing.
 
"In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself"

^From American Psycho those who dont get the reference. Picked it back up on a recent trip. I only skip one part on the rewatches because it really weirds me out lol (good thing) awesome film making.

hahah whats up PD!
 
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SharedHalucination said:
"In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself"

^From American Psycho those who dont get the reference. Picked it back up on a recent trip. I only skip one part on the rewatches because it really weirds me out lol (good thing) awesome film making. hahah whats up PD!
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Ha ha, I remember that crazy movie. At least the guy always gave his victims a good lesson in musicology before he brutally murdered them! =D
 
lmao yall the awesome. Great day today. Beautiful weather, got to play some BB b4 work and work went smoother than expected.

On a different note. I decided to roll Saturday night. Spur of the moment a lady friend wanted to hang out. I asked if she minded I did, so obviously as a gracious host I offered. Said she didnt really enjoy MDMA but was cool if I did. She likes LSD so she asked for a tab of that. Really really fun. Great sex and conversation. Two things we agrued about wether I was weighing 120mg properly and that having sex on MDMA ruins it for sober. An Im like nah to both lol. Weighed it in front of her 2 different stable locations. The sex debunk the next day multiple times lol. The sex might be a female thing IDK. It doesnt ruin it for me atleast.

Waited like, i wanna say 4-5 months since my last roll and was kinda disappointed with the effects of this dose. I def felt like I was rolling (same stuff from the last). Everything but the waves. I afterglowed and am still not feeling depressed or down in anyway. Im gonna chalk it up to benzos. This distillate got me high lol ranting and stuff. I recommend.

As always keep it 100%. Gotta eat then sleep {drops mic}
 
So the doctor ran tests on the DNA of my cancer cells to see if there is any possibility that I would respond well to targeted immunotherapy instead of chemotherapy. And she thinks I'm a good candidate! So no more chemo for the time being, and will be starting immunotherapy as soon as either my insurance agrees or I get in a clinical trial.

Immunotherapy tries to get your body's own immune system to fight the cancer, rather than just poisoning your whole body with chemo and hoping the cancer dies before the rest of you.

Consequently there are way fewer side effects. I shouldn't lose my hair or get sick or anything like that.

Obviously we don't know yet if it will work for sure (it hasn't been tried much in my particular type of cancer), but my doctor sounded pretty optimistic.
 
God bless indeed. I hope the immunotherapy works for you. I have high hopes.

Drunk as usual right now. Drove home from a friend's after a good night but they literally live two minutes down the road. Good top down weather and something about booze makes me love having a standard.

Debating taking some acid in the AM. waiting on some news from my doctor about some paperwork I need to move on in my career choice and as such bored on my days off.
 
I had a dream that I was at a festival with my friends and I met a leprechaun, and he was asking me for rides and shit. He and I decided to do some acid together and were trying to find some when I woke up.

Last night I went to visit my friend. He's been growing psychoactive plants for 4 years now and as we used to share that hobby, he has been keeping me in the loop. He decided to send me home with a care package of a quarter each of 5 strains of expertly grown weed, and a half ounce of mushrooms that consist of only 3 massive dried shrooms. :) Good to have friends. He called it a "care package".
 
pharmakos said:
So the doctor ran tests on the DNA of my cancer cells to see if there is any possibility that I would respond well to targeted immunotherapy instead of chemotherapy. And she thinks I'm a good candidate! So no more chemo for the time being, and will be starting immunotherapy as soon as either my insurance agrees or I get in a clinical trial.

Immunotherapy tries to get your body's own immune system to fight the cancer, rather than just poisoning your whole body with chemo and hoping the cancer dies before the rest of you.

Consequently there are way fewer side effects. I shouldn't lose my hair or get sick or anything like that.

Obviously we don't know yet if it will work for sure (it hasn't been tried much in my particular type of cancer), but my doctor sounded pretty optimistic.
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Hey man, that's great ! Immunotherapy has a very high success rate when it does work, I know someone who recovered from a metastasized lung cancer at her seventies using an experimental antibody-based immunotherapy. I hope all goes well !!
 
Yeah that's awesome tnw, I didn't see your post at first. :) Good luck with it, would be so great if you didn't have to undergo chemo again. I hope your insurance company doesn't drag their heels too much this time...
 
Fingers crossed for you man :)

I wanted to add to this post what I've been up to: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...rial-World?p=14349632&viewfull=1#post14349632
Didn't seem appropriate there..

Seriously into growing mushrooms, not like monotubs full of cubensis but all kinds of species most of which gourmet and medicinal and out of interest rather than getting high.. Anyway at both places where I work as volunteer things steadily get more serious, at the art academy I will be growing mushrooms too. Not sure yet if it will become another official lab like the other 6 there and it's being cramped into some unused room. When / if things really get rolling I will get paid for it.

Also doing experiments on biomaterials, for starters Reishi and kombucha "leather", but I wanna explore new venues when I get the hang of that 'state of the art'. For now I impatiently am doing it on my own because the company where I am meant to work in a new but modest mushroom lab is being a bit slow and ADHD about things so it's not happening just yet.
Am looking as well at possibilities of turning fungi into some sort of decoration or artwork, but I need to cooperate with actual artists (i.e. with the frame of reference and knowledge on history and contemporary etc - I don't mind if someone randomly calls themself an artist but I have just personally found out how big of a difference that experience can actually make), so i may be doing that at the academy as well :) There are artists there with a mind to use fungi so pretty ideal.. Was on vacation in France again recently, tried to teach myself to make woodcut prints. I think mostly it is just cool to try a lot of different things and challenge myself to just learn it by doing it. I'm a perfectionist but I don't do it to be able to show off anything I make I think.. i just love doing this kind of shit.

Bottom-line is: I found stuff that allows me to combine various interests and actually make them useful and potentially serious career-wise (though slowly!).. it took quite a while and I wasn't expecting it to be happening and was about to give up but things started happening... There is like a lesson in there isn't it? :P

@YYW: great to have a motivating goal in mind! And skydiving no less, haha, brutal - we got a bunch of thrillseekers here have we? (Well includes me) Any idea about what kind of job?
 
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Xorkoth said:
Yeah that's awesome tnw, I didn't see your post at first. :) Good luck with it, would be so great if you didn't have to undergo chemo again. I hope your insurance company doesn't drag their heels too much this time...
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I call it "my insurance" but it's really Medicare+Medicaid. So they probably will drag their feet..
 
pharmakos said:
So the doctor ran tests on the DNA of my cancer cells to see if there is any possibility that I would respond well to targeted immunotherapy instead of chemotherapy. And she thinks I'm a good candidate! So no more chemo for the time being, and will be starting immunotherapy as soon as either my insurance agrees or I get in a clinical trial.

Immunotherapy tries to get your body's own immune system to fight the cancer, rather than just poisoning your whole body with chemo and hoping the cancer dies before the rest of you.

Consequently there are way fewer side effects. I shouldn't lose my hair or get sick or anything like that.

Obviously we don't know yet if it will work for sure (it hasn't been tried much in my particular type of cancer), but my doctor sounded pretty optimistic.
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Awesome news mate! <3
 
Pharmakos: That's great news, man! Immunotherapy seems to be replacing a lot of the older treatments that often seem to do more harm than good.

Xorkoth said:
I had a dream that I was at a festival with my friends and I met a leprechaun, and he was asking me for rides and shit. He and I decided to do some acid together and were trying to find some when I woke up.
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Ha ha, love it! =D

Well, I had my last 2 beers today (today being Wednesday since I'm still up) so tomorrow should be Day One. It took me a little over a week to taper down from about 10-12 a day. I always have my Ativan if I need it.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
Cool man, one thing about alcohol that's nice is that you can do a rapid taper compared to most things. Good job!

Today is my birthday, the big 3-5. Pretty weird but kinda cool too. I'm visiting my family at the moment which is cool, and my girlfriend is here with me. Taking some phenibut today, which is always nice.
 
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