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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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Very sad about Vortech...:( I liked his posts and his music and video creations a lot.

Famous poem came to mind:

By Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
 
pharmakos said:
i've always thought it curious when us swirly folk end up with issues like psoriasis... a disease largely mediated by tumor necrosis factor-alpha, an enzyme of whichmany psychededlics drugs are an inhibitor of, particularly DOx drugs. i'm not sure if its coincidence, or if it's not, which way the cause and effect relationship goes -- perhaps people with these sorts of issues end up developing more of an affinity with drugs that might help it, or perhaps people that take those sorts of drugs end up with these issues. or maybe sometimes one way and sometimes the other...

after typing that, i did some googling, and found this scholarly article that describes cases where people taking TNF-a inhibitors for other reasons ended up paradoxically developing psoriatic skin conditions: http://www.archivesofrheumatology.org/full-text/352

easy to be an armchair speculative researcher tho =p take it with a grain of salt. but out of curiosity, has your DOC/DOx use changed in recent history?
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I first had my psoriasis emerge at age 18, right after I went to college. It's basically been slowly getting worse since then. I hadn't ever tripped except on DXM a couple of times when it appeared. I didn't try DOXs until I was 23 years old, I had had psoriasis for 5 years already. My uncle has it bad, he also has psoriatic arthritis. I have been concerned I would follow in his skin footsteps ever since I first realized I had psoriasis (almost 17 years ago... almost half my life ago, holy shit, time is weird, how can it possibly be half my life since I started college?).
 
Number of health issues here, though mental health issues far outweigh.

Hey though, how beautiful is this:

 
At 24 my psoriasis is starting to become noticeable. Had dry grey patches on both elbows that would come and go, now it's showing up on my knuckles. Haven't done any DOx and I can't speak to whether my Dad has. He has a fair bit of psoriasis and tripped his fair share in his youth. I always assumed it was just hereditary and I'd get it eventually. Have been keeping it at bay with cannabis salve though, all looks normal for now. Good luck Xork I hope it turns out to be something manageable
 
swilow said:
Number of health issues here, though mental health issues far outweigh.

Hey though, how beautiful is this:

Click to expand...


Sometimes, in the middle of the most mundane activity--riding a bus and spacing out, moving down the aisle at a grocery store--I will have the experience of seeing everything around me slow down and the actual sounds become muted and then completely mute and it is as if a track of beautiful ambient music is bathing everything in the most profound affection for life. This vid expresses what this feels like. I often think if we could mute the world and simply see it with an emotion evoking soundtrack we would never have another war.
 
Xork and TNW, sorry to hear of your latest troubles.
Sending love

Volsam said:
Very sad about Vortech...:( I liked his posts and his music and video creations a lot.

Famous poem came to mind:

By Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Click to expand...
This is beautiful. I got goosebumps reading it. ❤️
 
Wow, what a start for 2018. Sorry to hear about everyone's current health problems.
I just wish everyone a good week.
 
Moxious said:
At 24 my psoriasis is starting to become noticeable. Had dry grey patches on both elbows that would come and go, now it's showing up on my knuckles. Haven't done any DOx and I can't speak to whether my Dad has. He has a fair bit of psoriasis and tripped his fair share in his youth. I always assumed it was just hereditary and I'd get it eventually. Have been keeping it at bay with cannabis salve though, all looks normal for now. Good luck Xork I hope it turns out to be something manageable
Click to expand...

Yeah mine appeared suddenly and swiftly at age 18. My patches are red (unless I let them get white and flaky which I don't by rubbing the dead skin off in the shower daily and using an intensive moisturizing lotion). It's slowly spread... it covers like a third of the surface area of my lower legs and my entire elbows and knees, I have a lot on my scalp, and a few little spots here and there besides. And apparently going into my joints now. It's definitely genetic. My uncle has it like me and he's like 60 and his has gotten SO bad, it's crazy. He also has psoriatic arthritis. Of course he isn't the healthiest guy. I'm really hoping cutting out gluten and dairy will help get mine under control. I never really cared about it on my skin, it was just an annoyance, fortunately I didn't have it as a kid so it never impacted my self-esteem (this kid in my boy scout troop had it and oh god did he get mercilessly tormented about it and he was so ashamed of it as a result :\). But I gotta keep it out of my joints... fuck that. This is war!
 
swilow said:
^Sup man? <3
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Hello my friend. I hope you are well. <3
Me? I guess like a lot of people around this time of year I feel pretty sad and overwhelmed. I try to mask it by (over) using dissociatives but it only helps so much and is likely making it worse.
I find myself thinking about Erin and missing her a lot recently. I even had a huge faux pas and called the girl I?m dating Erin while in a conversation about her (thankfully she wasn?t there to hear it) but it really made me feel strange inside when that happened. So many people I know have died or have gotten sick this past year. A year ago I could not have Imagined how difficult the past year would end up being. But here I am today ready to take it all on again, tomorrow I turn 33.
I?m gonna go to a yoga class now and stretch and breath the stress out.
Thanks for asking. I love you and I love the rest of pdsocialfam. We?re all riding this swirly wave together.
 
^<3 to you too mate. Last year did suck immensely. Probably my most distressing year yet. But this year seems slightly better so far all things considered. I hope it is for you too :)
 
Xorkoth said:
Yeah mine appeared suddenly and swiftly at age 18. My patches are red (unless I let them get white and flaky which I don't by rubbing the dead skin off in the shower daily and using an intensive moisturizing lotion). It's slowly spread... it covers like a third of the surface area of my lower legs and my entire elbows and knees, I have a lot on my scalp, and a few little spots here and there besides. And apparently going into my joints now. It's definitely genetic. My uncle has it like me and he's like 60 and his has gotten SO bad, it's crazy. He also has psoriatic arthritis. Of course he isn't the healthiest guy. I'm really hoping cutting out gluten and dairy will help get mine under control. I never really cared about it on my skin, it was just an annoyance, fortunately I didn't have it as a kid so it never impacted my self-esteem (this kid in my boy scout troop had it and oh god did he get mercilessly tormented about it and he was so ashamed of it as a result :\). But I gotta keep it out of my joints... fuck that. This is war!
Click to expand...

Hope I never have to feel this stuff in my joints. Don't think my dad has ever mentioned anything about his joints so I might be okay. Good idea to try changing your diet, I hope it works well for you. I know as long as we stay on top of moisturizing the skin should be ok/unnoticeable. If it's as easy for the joints things could work out since there are so many creams etc for joint inflammation out there to try
 
Check out Carbon-60 oil suspensions you guys, shit's a miracle "drug" for almost anything health related.
 
Fuckin health problems eh. I'm in a war of my own. Had chronic pain in my thoracic spine for 7 years. The pain that led me to opiates, it had been 2 years of nothing but pain and I had lost my house, job, car, grow, everything but my girl and family but the pain was bad I could barely get up and take a piss, or cook myself a healthy meal and nothing was helping so I got a gram of heroin, started bumping it. Essentially my entire life for those two years was searching for a solution to the severe chronic pain so when I did a bump of heroin that was a few milligrams and didn't feel shit in my back I ended up staying high for a few years, got a second degree and worked a career job until I became very low, no matter what, all the time, unreliable as an employee, unable to participate in society normally, and then began to be physically and emotionally tortured repeatedly trying not to snap, not to break under the stress but still not yet wiling to let go of that temporary relief as tolerances skyrockets. Fucking misery and it's still very much there, just not active in my body.

I asked them how many times I went to hot yoga in the past month and it was 17. I was shocked, I've had a really shitty start to the year. Been in withdrawal the whole time and couldn't emotionally handle the relapse nor physically for that matter so I had to do something starting yoga again. I make sure to keep my core engaged and I am hoping that since I am becoming stronger and more flexible while staying tall with better posture, and less of a skinrat as I was starting to look wasted skinny and now I look fit. Anyways... hope it helps my back but it's helping me through withdrawal, making me more flexible and stronger, physically and mentally balanced, how women work there and there are a few I enjoy chatting with quite a bit. Could go for a hot stoner chick who is acrobatic from so much yoga really and who is chill. Sort of a situation of which one of them is single and fancies me. I am there to speed up the withdrawal process though I'm not waiting until March to start the year, need discipline in my life after a stupid relapse.

And it nearly killed me, a second time. I don't remember a thing for 8 hours except 10 seconds when someone close to me who was lucky enough to be around asked me what the fuck drugs I was fucked out of my mind on. Took 160mg extended release oxycodone without a tolerance and some etiz... so I was like fuck this. My first hot yoga class I was beating my thighs and upper arms before the class to try and hurt myself enough that it would override those deep muscle aches. Has been hard enough to pack a bag and get there on time in withdrawal but I'm feeling pretty great now! Really stoned tonight... picked up a quarter today immediately after my last bong rip. There are dispensaries around but fuck that shit, my guy always has me for pot and it's more fun the old fashioned way. Gotta smoke that nice chron too. Haven't been this stoned in a few days. Microdosing 2c-d before hot yoga can be amazing too, increases body awareness. I am really getting into it because I think it is a powerful way I can heal chronic pain in the thoracic spine, and it's plain enjoyable to do whilst really stoned anyway.
 
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Xorkoth said:
Yeah mine appeared suddenly and swiftly at age 18. My patches are red (unless I let them get white and flaky which I don't by rubbing the dead skin off in the shower daily and using an intensive moisturizing lotion). It's slowly spread... it covers like a third of the surface area of my lower legs and my entire elbows and knees, I have a lot on my scalp, and a few little spots here and there besides. And apparently going into my joints now. It's definitely genetic. My uncle has it like me and he's like 60 and his has gotten SO bad, it's crazy. He also has psoriatic arthritis. Of course he isn't the healthiest guy. I'm really hoping cutting out gluten and dairy will help get mine under control. I never really cared about it on my skin, it was just an annoyance, fortunately I didn't have it as a kid so it never impacted my self-esteem (this kid in my boy scout troop had it and oh god did he get mercilessly tormented about it and he was so ashamed of it as a result :\). But I gotta keep it out of my joints... fuck that. This is war!
Click to expand...

My Dad has it too and it has recently started up for me. I only have it on my scalp and it's a battle in the shower every day to keep it in check. It is right on my hairline in the front now and it causes the hair not to grow as fast in that one spot. I know other people don't notice it but man does it suck. It gets scaly if I don't hit it with coal tar every few days and itches like crazy, I'm terrified that it'll spread even more than it already has. I didn't know it could go into my joints, thanks for the warning. ><

Oh btw karma is real: Guy that ran me out of my apartment had his car and 4 wheeler stolen out of the parking lot about a week or so afterwards. My roommate ended up going to jail for probation violation. Good thing I left when I did or I'd be stuck footing the bill for all of the rent. I've had a few people ask me why I left him hanging and they're all on his side until I ask them if he mentioned me getting held at gunpoint by his cocaine dealer. Soon as they hear that they all say "uh huh I ain't in it". Yea well you were a minute ago....I understand people taking pity on my roommate because he has CP but god damn they take that shit too far. He can think for himself. He says he hates it when people treat him that way but he constantly uses it to get free drugs or things to go his way. It was the same thing when we lived together. He'd bitch about how he wished he could work and was always broke but any chance he got to earn some money he'd pull out the old "but I'lll lose my check!" excuse.

I've been hanging out with real friends the last few weeks. Been remodeling a house with my buddy and baking brownies with this good older chick that works at the corner store. Her roommate just died so she's been lonely. We ended up begin friends because we both have the same problem with unwanted attention. It's nice to kick it with a chick without worrying about all the BS. We're going to bake up a mess of shit tomorrow and put pot butter in everything. I'll probably pass out on the couch by 2pm. :D
 
Also thinking about doing an Ibogaine flood dose soon. I'm back on the juice and even though it's only 10-20mg daily I'm hating myself for it. Fucking relapsed like an idiot back in mid-december and I've been maintaining since then. I want to shake this monkey, really thought I had it beat last year then as soon as things got rough I was right back to oxycodone. In my defense it's hard to say no when everyone you live with passes a plate of the shit around and offers it to you. Best friend got me to snort some with him and it was back to the races.

Going to have to call up a friend and make arrangements because I can't do it where I'm living now. I'm thinking I'll wait til summer/spring so I don't have to deal with the cold while I'm on it. I know someone else planning a flood so perhaps I can do it the same time as they do. Scared about what it'll show me but I gotta get moving and I feel like it's the only option left for me at this point. I'm either going to have to kick this shit or get in the 'done program myself because I'm sick of begin at someone's beck and call just so I can get the juice I need to make it through each day. I'm afraid of going into the program because they'll up me to at least 30mg and I'll have to pee in the cup and get labeled and all that BS that goes along with it.

I can't do withdrawal right now either because I just can't afford to be down with "the flu" for the better part of a week. Withdrawal is getting really bad now for me. Every time I withdrawal it's worse than the last. Even a minor habit feels like withdrawal from Opana now.
 
Delsyd said:
I just found out that Vortech passed away. :(
RIP friend <3
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That's sad. I liked his post :(

Finally off parole. Was gonna sell my shit and just move somewhere. Better than dying.

Wrecked my car while fucking with my phone like an idiot now I'm living with my mom. Sucks. Got a job at a nearby carwash. Was making $600-700 a week including tips the first week. Been raining like a bitch last two weeks. Sucks.

Started off on 5mg diclazapam a day. Not really sure what my tolerance is after quitting drinking. Been smoking like a motherfucker though. Weed is nice.

I really wanna get the new Brandon Sanderson book. I'd have to refresh myself with a synopsis or something for the first two
 
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Damnit sick of people snooping through my shit. Family found out I'm getting about a grand back in taxes. I was going to spend it on a project I've been planning just so I can have something to do/build. Soon as they found out I was getting some money they start in with the bullshit;
-Don't you need something for the car?
-How about we put some shit in your name so you can pay the taxes on it next year?
-Don't we need parts for the tractor?
-Why don't you give your brother some money and help him out?
Fuckers. I didn't WANT the car but I got stuck with it, already dropped $5k in it, and I'm convinced it's a bad luck car like my grandfather said. I don't care if it needs balls joints and a strut I want to wrap the fucking thing around a tree. They keep acting like I just blew the money when they watched me work on the thing week after week and put new tires on it. I only cleared $9k in income last year and over half of it went into the damn thing. As soon as I got broke they suddenly want to "help me" by giving me a truck that hasn't moved in 20 years and probably needs $10k to get running again.

Sick of this man. I stay broke handing my family everything and they just turn around and give it to my younger siblings then yell at me because I'm not doing as well as them. Yea I'd be ahead too if you paid off all my debt, put me through school, bought me brand new cars AND gave me a place to live. I'd be doing fan-fucking-tastic if I caught all those breaks in life. Smug son of a bitch knows he's got it made too. Just constantly blows money on toys and any trouble he gets in is taken care of. If I spend more than $10 on myself I never hear the end of it.

Sorry to rant, need to listen to my friends and move away from this hell hole again. I just can't believe they have the balls to snoop through my finances and then demand the money like I'm not allowed to have any of my own. I should have never told them I had a drug problem. 31 fucking years old and can't be 5 minutes late for anything or spend any money without everyone thinking I'm snorting heroin.
 
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