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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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pharmakos said:
had my biopsy on my adrenal lump on monday. doctor and i have been going off of the assumption that they're non-cancerous, since testicular cancer isn't really known to spread to the adrenal gland. haven't gotten the biopsy results back yet, but i did get my blood work back... and my serum tumor markers are pretty high. =/

ugh. won't get the full biopsy results back til the end of the week. it's going to be a long week.
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Damn man, what a white knuckler. :\ Sending good thoughts...
 
psy997 said:
I'm curious about the need to speak to his brother.
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We are too.

I've had a productive day so far. Put a new heatsink in my desktop and dusted the thing out. New heatsink is working really good, dropped my temps on the CPU by half. Now time to overclock this thing to see if I won the silicon lottery. I've been running undervolted/clocked for a year or more due to the stock headsink begin awful and not keeping the temps cool enough.

Aside from that I picked up Kratom for the first time on a whim yesterday. Local headshop is trying to get rid of his stock so I got it pretty cheap. Tried some of the Bali in capsules yesterday and didn't feel much off 3 grams or so. Decided to toss and wash some to try it properly just a few minutes ago. For some reason I picked up a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon. Looked like a lot but I managed to down about 2 tablespoons worth of the nasty stuff. I probably poured 1/3rd of it down the drain though. Probably like 8-12 grams in all...have a bit of a tolerance to opioids because I relapsed when I lived with my friend but I'm interested to see if I'll be nodding and/or puking in the next few hours. ;/ Should have broken out the scale but I'm not sure if I still have it, think it got lost in the move. Thankfully I have an iron stomach.
 
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I am smoking way too much weed right now, I think when I'm out I am going to take a break from it. Also I started drinking a beer or two every night since a few days, can't let that become a regular routine either. :\
 
Eh beer ain't bad as long as you don't let 1-2 become 6-24. ;)

Turns out I was worried about nothing with the kratom. I laid down for a bit and almost nodded some but once I got up and took a shower I've just been zooming around the house getting my shit done. Might have given me a bit of energy and I don't feel my usual aches and pains. Probably going to take the rest of the 30g I have then quit opioids again. My relapse wasn't _that_ bad and I caught it quickly but still a slip is a slip. Can't put all the blame on my friend but it was hard to say no after I'd had free oxycodone offered to me so many times in my own home. Kept telling him I didn't want that shit and the cocaine in the house and the response was "If someone puts free drugs in front of me I'm going to do them". He knew how hard that shit was for me to beat but he was more concerned about destroying himself than begin my friend.

Found out today he lost the apartment. Don't know the details, don't really care to know them. He's trying to make amends for what he did to me but I'm not ready to hear it yet. Once he figures out wtf he's going to do with himself I'll listen. Until then he can continue down the path he put himself on last year when he caught that DUI. On the help front I'm all used up. More concerned about getting myself sorted out now. Going to take a trip down to Daytona to see how I like the area down there. Depending on what I see I'll either get a job and go back to school up here where I live now or move back down there and get a job/go to school. I'm thinking I'm going to choose the beach.
 
tokezu said:
I am smoking way too much weed right now, I think when I'm out I am going to take a break from it. Also I started drinking a beer or two every night since a few days, can't let that become a regular routine either. :\
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I'm still waitin' to smoke. I've been drinking multiple stiff beverages a night for about a month now. I actually have a booze tolerance where I need 3 white Russians to really 'feel' it. Can't wait to get back to smoking, I'm certain it will help me reign back in my alcoholic tendencies :\

And like headphones said, one or two drinks a night isn't bad in the least unless you let it go further.
 
Xorkoth said:
Nice, I love those books so much. :)
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After getting stuck into a few chapters of Memories of Ice (btw it's massive, it's a huge square as opposed to the normally sized paper backs of books 1 and 2), I'm very glad to realise that it's sticking to the 'modern day' Malazan storylines/campaigns on Genabackis. For some reason I had a false memory that Memories of Ice was pretty much the early history of that world and almost entirely a T'lan Imass/Jaghut storyline.

Hoping for some more Kruppe storylines in this one (please, no spoilers. =D ).
 
I'm thinking of taking an Epistemology course at uni during the upcoming semester. The only thing stopping me is I would have to talk to my boss and arrange a "special" working schedule to be able to attend it. Luckily I work at a 15 minutes bike ride from the place where I would have to go have the classes, so I think I only need to discuss it with my boss. Of course, my weekly rutine will be a lote more loaded but I think I still have enough energy for that :P

12 years ago I was uncertain whether I wanted to get a philosophy degree or a science degree. I ended up going for biochemistry. And I like what I do a lot. But there's always been this craving at the back of my mind. During college I pacified the urge doing reading on my own, but since I started working it became harder to find the time and motivation.

I thought I would someday get a post-grad in philosophy of science or something. Each passing year the idea seems more unlikely. But I think trying to take this course would help me satisfy a curiosity and get a taste of what I missed/am missing. Maybe I re-spark my passion for it and end up pushing more effort and taking more risks into really doing something about this interest?
 
Tranced said:
After getting stuck into a few chapters of Memories of Ice (btw it's massive, it's a huge square as opposed to the normally sized paper backs of books 1 and 2), I'm very glad to realise that it's sticking to the 'modern day' Malazan storylines/campaigns on Genabackis. For some reason I had a false memory that Memories of Ice was pretty much the early history of that world and almost entirely a T'lan Imass/Jaghut storyline.

Hoping for some more Kruppe storylines in this one (please, no spoilers. =D ).
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Spoiler alert:
















The whole thing is great. =D It keeps getting better as you go.
 
Sorry the non-nice people are included as well. :) Thank you for bringing a smile to my face, seriously.

And btw I wish you good luck regarding the results of those tests.
 
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tokezu said:
Feeling really down today. :( I hope you nice people out there are doing better.
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I've been having those recently. Hang in there man, life comes in waves as I'm sure you already know. What goes up must come down, and vice versa. Whenever I'm feeling down, I try to push through the haze and remember that I will feel better again in the future. And I try my best to see the depressed feeling as my own subconscious way of identifying things about my life that aren't working, so I can fix them. <3

And sometimes it's not anything you can do anything about, like now, for me. My dad having ALS and existing in his own personal Hell, and my mom's very foundations being shaken, and my best friend being a psychotic meth-head, and another best friend on constant suicide threat, and my girlfriend being depressed, I can't do anything about these things. It's really a test for me. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with these things in a healthy way but it's hard. :(

Whoa sorry that post wasn't supposed to be about me. But it's like 50% of all the thoughts in my head all the time.
 
Yeah I can see that all things come in waves generally, with my life in particular it does feel at the moment like something's saying to me "Oh you thought that was a low point? Wait until you check this out!" on repeat. But then I am probably dismissing hundreds of good things that have been happening in my life because of the current mindset. For example this morning I felt horrible and texted a friend that I needed to talk to someone, didn't expect him to answer for hours but he phoned right away and assured me he would definitely come over later. It felt really good to get some thoughts out in front of somebody else instead of just ruminating on them the whole time. So I guess something good happened today after all.
 
That's the thing about depression, it changes your perspective radically, and it's very difficult to see out of the haze. Good things are much harder to see. It helps to try to be really in the present and appreciate each thing for what it is. of course much easier said than done.
 
Xorkoth said:
That's the thing about depression, it changes your perspective radically, and it's very difficult to see out of the haze. Good things are much harder to see. It helps to try to be really in the present and appreciate each thing for what it is. of course much easier said than done.
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Yeah, definitely. I've struggled with depression my entire life, and it infuriates me when people tell me that I have no reason to be depressed. Some people just don't understand that it's a FEELING, not a situation. And it's not a choice either.

As a matter of fact, it actually makes me feel even more sad when things are going well and I'm too depressed to enjoy them. Like when the weather's nice and everyone keeps telling me how I should be outside when I don't even feel up to leaving my bed. It sucks.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
Everyone suffering from depression has my deepest sympathies. I've been there too (to the point of wishing for death for a year or so), thankfully it's never been my default state, I can bless a good childhood and family for that, and a tendency for mental health in my family. My girlfriend has basically always been depressed though because of her childhood, some periods of time are pretty good for her and some are bad... right now it's pretty bad. Depression goes deeper than rationalization, unfortunately. It's too bad our society still has so little understanding or regard for mental issues.
 
Interestingly enough, when I apply for jobs these days, they classify a history of depression as a disability. Feels weird saying I have a disability on those government work forms.
 
Maybe I have posted this before, but I once came across an amazing comic about depression. It definitely helped me realize I am not alone with these feelings and it's also incredibly funny!

Part One
Part Two
 
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