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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

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I finally realized back in February that stimulants just don't agree with me. Over the years I've tried coke and crack (only a few times), Ritalin, Adderall, Vyvanse, ephedrine and of course caffeine. The last time that I got Adderall I went on a two-day binge of doing nothing but watching porn and, well, you know... what guys do when they watch porn! I felt like it was warping my mind (and I'm pretty warped to begin with, LOL), so I flushed the rest of them and never looked back.
 
They are such an incredibly unhealthy habit and the drug class that I fear the most. I already have blood pressure problems from them and I continue forward it's deff a bit of madness. Sometimes I smoke Crack and I don't tell anybody cuz it's kind of a shameful drug to have problem with. People really judge people that do it, got a good plug tho I get grams of fire makes your whole mouth numb when you taste it. Really cardiotoxic drug I started using Cocaine twenty years ago, at some points pretty heavily. Almost bought some Coke today but I have to pay the rent and not be a fool. It's deff tricky when you can get it delivered whenever.
 
Thanks God Im not interested at all in stimulants and opioids. I specially hate coke... The other day was thinking the incredibly lucky we are: it seems like a coke analog is impossible to synth.

We have all the psych analogs in the world, currently growing the disso analogs and plenty of cannabinoids, empathogens and whatnot but for some reason it seem there´s nothing similar to coke... and I would say is better this way. I dont want to imagine a 5usd/gram coke analog out there...

I guess it could launch a whole new wave of uncontrollable binge addicts out there

I would like to have dencent cheap coke leaves supply to do teas from time to time in special ocasions but dont want to think into smoking/sniffing the stuff
 
I was addicted to opioids for about 12 years but thank God I finally quit around 2017. The thought of them doesn't even appeal to me anymore. I know that I would only feel good for a few hours before I wanted more, and then I would end up (unsuccessfully) chasing that feeling for another 12 years. Definitely NOT worth it!
 
Cosmic Charlie said:
They are such an incredibly unhealthy habit and the drug class that I fear the most. I already have blood pressure problems from them and I continue forward it's deff a bit of madness. Sometimes I smoke Crack and I don't tell anybody cuz it's kind of a shameful drug to have problem with. People really judge people that do it, got a good plug tho I get grams of fire makes your whole mouth numb when you taste it. Really cardiotoxic drug I started using Cocaine twenty years ago, at some points pretty heavily. Almost bought some Coke today but I have to pay the rent and not be a fool. It's def tricky when you can get it delivered whenever.
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Used to do coke but haven't touched it in 12 years. Actually started using coke regularly just a few months or so after I started smoking weed regularly. Used get balls of some high quality chunks from my friend's hood dealers for a really good price and we'd chip in together. These were the types that were more than just hood rich and since my friends were addicts and regular customers they'd hook us up with the good stuff.

Used to like snorting it with oxys and wash it down with xanax and booze which felt amazing but is horrible for the heart. This was back when 30s cost the same as a dime bag of weed.

Never touched meth, amp, pharma stims, or and cathoines. Really glad I quit coke before the bath salt scene came along; would of most likely got really into that crap if it became mainstream earlier.
 
I've done a shit ton of different stims, from coke to meth, all sorts of amphetamines and cathinones. I like them too much, but I tend to get something from time to time and binge on it. Sometimes I do it more often but lately I haven't been doing stims much at all, which is good. I started having an opiate problem again after many years of addiction and then half a decade of being clean from them. Too much grief and pain packed into a few years and I just snapped. I'd love to be back to just psychedelics and weed. Today I am on my second suboxone dose, I have one more, I'm spacing them 3 days apart. Was doing poppy tea and kratom (like 50 grams of kratom a day if I was doing it). I was sober for a month recently. I'm trying to get my shit together again.
 
stimulants really rob you of your own empathy and soul on them and long term they really destoryed my ability to focus and feel happiness without them. But you can recover from it all. I still feel cravings for been wired they fucked over my heart though my heart rate is really wonky 24/7. Man and while your tweakin hardcore you really look like a crazy wacko and not realize it at all. Fucking ruined what could of been the best years of my young adult hood to stimulants.

I recovered quite fast from that LSD binge i had in sept and oct i think i can push at least 5 trips in a short space of time and just take longer breaks instead of like 14 back to back trips like i did on lockdown where i was taking 5-7 day breaks then all the mdma and ket after that left me feeling burnt.

So far i think i took LSD probably about 19 times this year shrooms like 5 times changa three times. Last year my usage was reduced quite a bit as i tried to get my physical body healed from the heavy usage of drugs i did in 2018.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
Man and while your tweakin hardcore you really look like a crazy wacko and not realize it at all.
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OMG, I recently came across an old video journal that I recorded on an Adderall binge. I was pacing back and forth, my eyes were darting around like a madman and I was jumping from topic to topic mid-sentence. I'm sure that I thought I looked and sounded completely normal at the time too!
 
Man, as soon as I stop taking benzos at bedtime the vivid dreams come back (I just posted my latest in the "Dream Journal" thread of the LAVA forum). I feel so much better after a good night of REM sleep than when I tranquilize myself. :sleep: I'm full of energy and just made some awesome vegan pizza! 🍕
 
I bought some btc today, to buy some stuff with it. I already had a little amount in my wallet leftover from last time. I bought a little more than I technically needed to cover fees. And by the time I sent the payment, the amount I needed, with the network fee, was exactly, to the cent, what I had. If I had waited another minute, it wouldn't have been exact. It's synchronicity, maaaaannnnnnnnnn.

Also god damn, btc is almost at its all-time high and it's just hitting the exponential. Looks like we might have another crazy peak but much higher than 2017/2018.
 
During my crypto investing days, if I had just held everything I bought, I'd have tens of thousands now. My friend started doing it a couple of months before me, in late 2017 as the spike was just about to happen. He cashed out about $100k from $6k total investment. I cashed out $3500 total investment at $500. I was buying as it was skyrocketing and trying to buy/sell on dips and stuff without knowing what I was doing. Falling prey to pump and dumps and stuff, and altcoins that sounded cool.

I bought AL-LAD and ETH-LAD with that $500 eventally 😁 In reality, I probably paid the most of anyone ever for those drugs, if you count all the investment losses.
 
I spent thousands of bitcoins buying drugs in 2010-2013. I thought sometime that maybe I should keep these coins for investment purposes, but was too lazy to create a bitcoin wallet. So last of my coins went to our "DEA" when they busted our domestic Silk Road.
 
Oof, that sucks Xammy. Fucking cops, they kept all the bitcoin from the darkweb markets they busted.

But yeah, Bitcoin is going crazy again !! I bought a small amount last year and holded, right know I've more than doubled the initial investment, and of course if hindsight I wish I've bought a lot more haha, but with this stuff you can only ever invest what you are comfortable losing. And it's still a nice gain anyway.
 
Damn dude... yet again I'm sad I never could invest in crypto and am also sad that I won't be buying any drugs without it any time soon and it's getting more and more complicated/prone to loss by the day...
 
Hindsight is a fucking bitch with investing, but in reality there no way anyone could know these things. For all we knew, governments would have outlawed crypto and it would have gone out of fashion. Or any other number of factors. it could have appeared to go up and just kept going back down when the whales sold, just a series of pump and dumps. It still could be that.

I bought $400 worth of a weed company stock last year, just checked and it's up 55%, woo. I could have put more in, but I am hesitant to invest directly in anything (I have a 401k but that's a managed, diversified account) after the awful job I did at crypto.
 
I'm having a really, really bad day today. Feeling trapped, useless and pathetic. I took 10mg of Ativan with 4 beers for "breakfast" and my mind is still racing a mile a minute. My stomach is in a knot.

I know that I should be posting this in the "The Dark Side", but most of my friends are on this thread. Sorry for bringing you down. Please check out the last few pages of my "Dream Journal" thread in the LAVA forum because it's the most interesting material that I've gotten to write about lately.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
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Sorry man, bad days suck so much. It's so hard to see past depression and/or anxiety, it feels like forever, but it isn't, really. I've been having a pretty bad 2 months, a few days in there I felt like never getting out of bed again. Today I'm feeling a lot of anxiety and really struggling to not reach for opiates. I've got like 8 days clean and still feeling some withdrawal. Got myself paranoid I caught some amount of benzo dependence. Don't want to take gabapentin again, absolutely need to not take benzos again. have to work, probably really late again, been working myself to the bone at my job since October started, it's madness. I have to always be high functioning so I can't curl up in bed. But this, too, shall pass... same as for you. Keep your head up, man. You got people who care about you. ♥️
 
It's hard, man. Opioids are so appealing because they provide that temporary feeling of "everything's okay", even though it's not.

I tried Suboxone twice and felt like I was being poisoned. I never really understood the point of it, because it's basically mixing an opioid agonist with an antagonist, so I was pretty much plummeting myself into instant withdrawal.

I wish that they had a detox med for alcohol/benzo abuse that worked on the GABA receptors. I know that there are substances like Phenibut, but I have no cash/bank account/credit card and I can't find it locally anywhere.

I just took another 8mg of Ativan (lorazepam) and 2 beers, bringing my total up to 18mg Ativan and 6 beers since I got up a few hours ago.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words; they mean a lot to me.

This is pretty much how I feel right now...

 
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Opioids are extremely appealing... as the story I was about to post indicates.

So I've been off opiates for about a week. Feeling alright, used lope twice and gabapentin the past couple of days, even 300mg will help me a lot so I've been dosing real low, 300-600mg. Well today, I was out, and just decided to stop at the salvage grocery store where I've been getting really strong poppy seeds for like 8 or 9 years, whenever I am doing those. I was going to buy some, the rationale being that I have been doing benzos too much and need to ensure I won't do any for a couple of days. Obviously though, bad idea/addict brain shit. Well, I came to find out that they are no longer selling poppy seeds there, totally removed the spot from the shelf and said they won't be getting more, ever. I've half been wanting them to stop selling them for years and years because it's too easy to get my favorite opioid. So, I did not get any opioids. Thank god. I could always get kratom but I have no desire for it at all, I am repulsed by it these days. It's like 2 hours of semi-decent feelings and then however many days of constant redosing and at best feeling like damp asshole before I decide to kick. Fuckdatshit.

So... looks like Xorkoth won't be doing opiates anymore. So many times in the past, the ability to get my favorite opiate easily from a store has been the thing that pushed me to relapse. Breathing a sigh of relief here...

Just found out also... my mom has a blood clot in her leg and is in the ER. She had a normal doctor visit and they said she should go, but it's probably not a big deal. I'm worried about that, praying it will be fine. She's really healthy and not too old so it should be fine. But I really need it to be...

Hang in there dreamflyer... it will get better. ♥️
 
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