☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Bleep Bloop Zap Zang
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Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
PSox
I've gotta say I agree with Delsyd, man. If there's anything resembling a restraining order or anything with that sort of bad vibe, I think it's time you let this thing go. Sometimes stuff doesn't work out and honestly it sounds a little like you're freaking her out. That's why people entertain the idea of restraining orders, because they feel there is no other way to get someone to give them space.
I'm afraid you've got to go your own way. If it's meant to be, it'll be in the future, but right now you've got to completely, 100% detach both physically and emotionally. It feels scary but it's what needs to be done.
I know you and I don't really agree on the living away for a time thing, but this is one of the reasons I think it can be very important to the development of a person into a full-on adult to move away from the town they grew up in. Otherwise, you can never really come to understand just how much more there is out there, away from these people you've always been around. High school is for kids and high school relationships are between kids, and when you become an adult you usually look back and see that they were practice sessions for the real thing, not that they WERE the real thing and that nothing could ever be as good. Moving away can help you to firmly establish your own identity within yourself, free of the invisible influences of those you've always been around. Then you can come BACK your own, independent man, and people will see you the way you want them to see you, rather than it being hard to see yourself the way YOU want to see YOU because of how everyone else is seeing you. The way you see yourself is the way others will see you, I promise. And the trick to seeing yourself the way you want is to go and do your own thing independent of anyone else.
Trust me dude, I'm a Chicago boy, Chicago people don't EVER leave Chicago. I always said I never would, why would I, I have everything I need there? But it's been the very best thing I could have ever done for my own personal development and sense of happiness in the end.
I love you man, and I keep bringing up this topic because honestly I think it could do you a lot of good. So many people never get away from their families and old friends enough to be able to fully break free from the molds they've been placed into since birth, and are never able to fully become themselves as THEY truly want to be, and are never able to really feel fulfilled. In today;s world we have the means to be able to go and live our own lives somewhere else for a while, and I think people should take that opportunity when they're finding themselves in a place like you seem to have found yourself. I want good things for you, man. I see a lot of myself in you, of myself from before 2005, and I'm just trying to tell you what's worked for me. And personally I never plan to go back and live where I grew up. But there's nothing wrong with you deciding to go and live out your life where you're from. It's wonderful to have such a connection to the place you're from - I wish I did. But I just REALLY think it could help you immensely to get out and really live and set up a life elsewhere for a while, just to really find your own footing and become who you were meant to be fully.
I've gotta say I agree with Delsyd, man. If there's anything resembling a restraining order or anything with that sort of bad vibe, I think it's time you let this thing go. Sometimes stuff doesn't work out and honestly it sounds a little like you're freaking her out. That's why people entertain the idea of restraining orders, because they feel there is no other way to get someone to give them space.
I'm afraid you've got to go your own way. If it's meant to be, it'll be in the future, but right now you've got to completely, 100% detach both physically and emotionally. It feels scary but it's what needs to be done.
I know you and I don't really agree on the living away for a time thing, but this is one of the reasons I think it can be very important to the development of a person into a full-on adult to move away from the town they grew up in. Otherwise, you can never really come to understand just how much more there is out there, away from these people you've always been around. High school is for kids and high school relationships are between kids, and when you become an adult you usually look back and see that they were practice sessions for the real thing, not that they WERE the real thing and that nothing could ever be as good. Moving away can help you to firmly establish your own identity within yourself, free of the invisible influences of those you've always been around. Then you can come BACK your own, independent man, and people will see you the way you want them to see you, rather than it being hard to see yourself the way YOU want to see YOU because of how everyone else is seeing you. The way you see yourself is the way others will see you, I promise. And the trick to seeing yourself the way you want is to go and do your own thing independent of anyone else.
Trust me dude, I'm a Chicago boy, Chicago people don't EVER leave Chicago. I always said I never would, why would I, I have everything I need there? But it's been the very best thing I could have ever done for my own personal development and sense of happiness in the end.
I love you man, and I keep bringing up this topic because honestly I think it could do you a lot of good. So many people never get away from their families and old friends enough to be able to fully break free from the molds they've been placed into since birth, and are never able to fully become themselves as THEY truly want to be, and are never able to really feel fulfilled. In today;s world we have the means to be able to go and live our own lives somewhere else for a while, and I think people should take that opportunity when they're finding themselves in a place like you seem to have found yourself. I want good things for you, man. I see a lot of myself in you, of myself from before 2005, and I'm just trying to tell you what's worked for me. And personally I never plan to go back and live where I grew up. But there's nothing wrong with you deciding to go and live out your life where you're from. It's wonderful to have such a connection to the place you're from - I wish I did. But I just REALLY think it could help you immensely to get out and really live and set up a life elsewhere for a while, just to really find your own footing and become who you were meant to be fully.
Flarestar89
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 9, 2009
- Messages
- 402
I 100% agree. Completely agree. Why I don't like them, why I don't use them.
Such a great way to word it that I've never managed to think of myself. Partially because I don't give opiates that much thought.
"We both want... to rape you."
My personal feelings about them in a nutshell, hah.
Bagseed
Bluelighter
hi PD!
ingested about 15mg of 2c-e right now. haven't tripped alone in a while, so im excited, what will come :D
ingested about 15mg of 2c-e right now. haven't tripped alone in a while, so im excited, what will come :D
LSDMDMA&
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2010
- Messages
- 12,829
derp.
hai.
playin pb tomorrow.
itll be fun
hai.
playin pb tomorrow.
itll be fun
Delta-9-THC
Bluelighter
Great post Xorkoth! Made me think about my own personal situation. I've had the desire to get away even though I really love my family and friends but it has become to confined on a social level.
I have social anxiety so it's a scary thought to go somewhere completely alone and start over but I also feel like if I did it it could be one if the best things I could do for myself. It's really something I need to seriously consider and plan out I think.
I have social anxiety so it's a scary thought to go somewhere completely alone and start over but I also feel like if I did it it could be one if the best things I could do for myself. It's really something I need to seriously consider and plan out I think.
Jesusgreen
Bluelight Crew
Have a great trip
Volundr said:
Man try the save backup thing I said, and also like I said don't mine directly above or below you, stand a square away. Also remember to place lots of torches, the monsters can spawn in any dark place.
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
Del, Xork, I know you're both right. Obviously it's solidly over.
I would love to move elsewhere; I just wish I wasn't enrolled in school here right now. I have to finish the year here or drop out.
I would love to move elsewhere; I just wish I wasn't enrolled in school here right now. I have to finish the year here or drop out.
naginnudej
Bluelighter
peeeddee!!! school is really kicking into gear right now so i've been quite busy but you guys are always in my thoughts. i've miss you all dearly.
i had an interview at evolver.net on thursday to intern/volunteer which went really well. i cant wait to start helping out :D
and to add something meaningful: psox....forgive yourself (but never forget) and move on brother. time and new life experiences will heal the damage. and you better not let something of this nature drive you to drop out/transfer/whatever. you create your own reality; don't let yours revolve around a relationship that wasn't meant to be. get out and have a good time
i had an interview at evolver.net on thursday to intern/volunteer which went really well. i cant wait to start helping out :D
and to add something meaningful: psox....forgive yourself (but never forget) and move on brother. time and new life experiences will heal the damage. and you better not let something of this nature drive you to drop out/transfer/whatever. you create your own reality; don't let yours revolve around a relationship that wasn't meant to be. get out and have a good time
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
What I meant was if I wasn't in school here, I'd up and leave next week but I have to finish the year.
I can transfer to somewhere else next year.
I can transfer to somewhere else next year.
naginnudej
Bluelighter
right but do you really have to go to such great lengths? or is that school just not for you?
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
Like Xork said; I should move away from my home area for a while. Disconnect from the social rut that keeps me down.
Matsuo Munefusa.
Bluelighter
^ get ready to apply now as applications are usually due december-ish.
An old lady in the gym made fun of me today. I got done doing db rows with 100lb DB. I felt pretty good like an animal I cranked out 16 with a lockout up top on each arm. I slammed the bell down after the last set and whewed a minute then picked it up and walked it over to the rack. I passed the old lady as she was on her way out and she looked at me and laughed and said "Do you need any help?" I bit back the response "No, do you need me to carry you out to your car?" and just told her "naw I got it" and smiled.
An old lady in the gym made fun of me today. I got done doing db rows with 100lb DB. I felt pretty good like an animal I cranked out 16 with a lockout up top on each arm. I slammed the bell down after the last set and whewed a minute then picked it up and walked it over to the rack. I passed the old lady as she was on her way out and she looked at me and laughed and said "Do you need any help?" I bit back the response "No, do you need me to carry you out to your car?" and just told her "naw I got it" and smiled.
naginnudej
Bluelighter
lol well played on your part--be the bigger man 
transfer students don't apply the same time as incoming freshman. unless he was applying for spring semester (which he isn't), then he has until early spring to apply
transfer students don't apply the same time as incoming freshman. unless he was applying for spring semester (which he isn't), then he has until early spring to apply
Matsuo Munefusa.
Bluelighter
^ yeah haha I'm a real big man not making fun of old ladies 
my bad about the application deadline...I am remembering grad school where apps are due earlier due to funding decisions (money money money).
my bad about the application deadline...I am remembering grad school where apps are due earlier due to funding decisions (money money money).
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
yup, springtime. I'm going international though so I don't know how that all works out. I assume lots of painstaking paperwork.
Thorns Have Roses
Bluelight Crew
Man, I've been reading through the methoxetamine thread and I have to say it makes me nervous. The bravado with which some of these people are upping their doses and in general ill consideration for safety is disturbing. Nothing new in the RC scene I know, but it still bothers me every time.
In other news, some stupid western thing is going on downtown today, I think I'll take some GBL and go walk down there to check it out. (Then promptly leave after suffering a severe misanthropic reaction to large groups of people)
In other news, some stupid western thing is going on downtown today, I think I'll take some GBL and go walk down there to check it out. (Then promptly leave after suffering a severe misanthropic reaction to large groups of people)
Wow I just got back from driving a Mini Cooper with my friend down from the Netherlands through the Swiss Alps, stayed at the famous northern-Italian lakes then drove to Rome and visited the city for a day then drove to Sicily (Godfather shizzle :D ) and explored the Island camping. It was simply incredible!!!
We climbed the vulcano Etna and entered a hot crater, there is also chunks of ice on it (>3000m high).
Also we took a hydrofoil to the island Stromboli which is also a total vulcano but really active in the literal sense. We climbed that (1000m) and reached the top when the sun set. Then 200m below on the slope we saw crater territory, erupting volleys of lava with loud rumble (not the sound you would imagine at all!). It was... stupefying and I will never forget it.
Beaches of black sand and obsidian, they were also just bizarre and wonderful to say the least.
The food and wine are of unparalleled quality there as well (Sicily that is, or Italy in general). Chicane - Giants must have been my favorite music of the vacation.
We took some acid with us but there were only slightly less than perfect opportunities so we decided against taking it. And it Only took a little diazepam when there were numerous barking dogs around, one of the last nights. For the rest amazing wine, wow!
I took a flight back by the way. My friend is staying for another week and a half perhaps.
It was good to see my mother when I got back, that was nice. Disappointingly enough meeting up with my dad didn't work out. I was looking forward to seeing him but for him it was like 'whatever, I will see you next time'. Hmm yeah I can get overflexible with stuff like that myself, now I can see the other end of that 'freedom'-bargain.
Back home now, another buddy just blessed me with some 2C-C, 2C-D, 4-HO-MET and DiPT ... lol thanks
He was also bringing picamilon (havent heard about it until recently, interesting!!!) but then he went and lost the sample right here in my home. The guy is sweet but he is in desperate need of some Zen in him. I know people who have ADD or are hyperassociative (like me) but integrated, this is different still: there is unrest that is immobilizing, precipitating doubts or tangents of the mind and feedback loops. I hope he can find whatever he needs, long searches become ever more desperate...
Ah the tragedies and wonders of complex minds...
Of which I am sure PD is rich indeed
We climbed the vulcano Etna and entered a hot crater, there is also chunks of ice on it (>3000m high).
Also we took a hydrofoil to the island Stromboli which is also a total vulcano but really active in the literal sense. We climbed that (1000m) and reached the top when the sun set. Then 200m below on the slope we saw crater territory, erupting volleys of lava with loud rumble (not the sound you would imagine at all!). It was... stupefying and I will never forget it.
Beaches of black sand and obsidian, they were also just bizarre and wonderful to say the least.
The food and wine are of unparalleled quality there as well (Sicily that is, or Italy in general). Chicane - Giants must have been my favorite music of the vacation.
We took some acid with us but there were only slightly less than perfect opportunities so we decided against taking it. And it Only took a little diazepam when there were numerous barking dogs around, one of the last nights. For the rest amazing wine, wow!
I took a flight back by the way. My friend is staying for another week and a half perhaps.
It was good to see my mother when I got back, that was nice. Disappointingly enough meeting up with my dad didn't work out. I was looking forward to seeing him but for him it was like 'whatever, I will see you next time'. Hmm yeah I can get overflexible with stuff like that myself, now I can see the other end of that 'freedom'-bargain.
Back home now, another buddy just blessed me with some 2C-C, 2C-D, 4-HO-MET and DiPT ... lol thanks
He was also bringing picamilon (havent heard about it until recently, interesting!!!) but then he went and lost the sample right here in my home. The guy is sweet but he is in desperate need of some Zen in him. I know people who have ADD or are hyperassociative (like me) but integrated, this is different still: there is unrest that is immobilizing, precipitating doubts or tangents of the mind and feedback loops. I hope he can find whatever he needs, long searches become ever more desperate...
Ah the tragedies and wonders of complex minds...
Of which I am sure PD is rich indeed
Last edited:
LSDMDMA&
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2010
- Messages
- 12,829
herp derp
Back from seeing Jan Garbarek and the Hilliard Ensemble at Kings College Chapel (Cambridge). Wow. Amazing.
Basically, it is Jan Garbarek (A saxophonist) harmonising to the singing of the Hilliard Ensemble (gregorian chanting quartet). Beautiful experience, all inside Kings College as well. I wish I had taken some 4-aco-dmt, but to be honest, it was wonderful sober, so no loss.
Kings College (not my photos)
The Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D4LtzZACek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLbEZkuIRBk
Having Jan Garbarek and members of the quartet being very close to you as they played with the acoustics of the building by standing away from each other really made me appreciate them even more. The quartet holding notes/hums for ridiculous lengths of time in a perfect tone and pitch and of course being able to see when he chooses to come in with the saxophone. All for £10, bargain.
Basically, it is Jan Garbarek (A saxophonist) harmonising to the singing of the Hilliard Ensemble (gregorian chanting quartet). Beautiful experience, all inside Kings College as well. I wish I had taken some 4-aco-dmt, but to be honest, it was wonderful sober, so no loss.
Kings College (not my photos)
NSFW:
The Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D4LtzZACek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLbEZkuIRBk
Having Jan Garbarek and members of the quartet being very close to you as they played with the acoustics of the building by standing away from each other really made me appreciate them even more. The quartet holding notes/hums for ridiculous lengths of time in a perfect tone and pitch and of course being able to see when he chooses to come in with the saxophone. All for £10, bargain.
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