Leftley
Bluelighter
if u haz -insert price that cannot be listed due to bl rules here-, yus. otherwise, noez 
☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Bleep Bloop Zap Zang
- Thread starter Roger&Me
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Leftley
Bluelighter
i really want someone to love right now. a girl that can make me laugh, can make me smile. and thats all i need.
effingcustie
Bluelighter
don't give up! one will come along when you least expect it.. or at least that seems to be whats happening to me right now, and ive been waiting a while
helium-4
Bluelight Crew
I feel you. I'd give all my ketamine away for that. Or rather, I'd give her a bunch of the ketamine and we do it together
Really though, I've been really missing the lack of interaction on an emotional level with a women. We'll see if this new school year brings anyone new into my life.
anyway, I got out of classes, so now it is time for a line of k and a bowl. Might throw on some dexter. Dissociatives and tv shows are fun sometimes.
helium-4
Bluelight Crew
Awesome comic!
I usually just chewed the shit up and swallow with a liquid of your choice. I'm not sure what type of drink I choose to use though... hm
I usually just chewed the shit up and swallow with a liquid of your choice. I'm not sure what type of drink I choose to use though... hm
helium-4
Bluelight Crew
Also watch out with much, paper you might get serotonin syndrome
nearjat
Bluelighter
For some reason whenever I'm alone smoking a cigarette I get all into a pity party. Weird.
I think I'll go for a jog when I get home, good for the brains I think.
I wrote a poem
I think I'll go for a jog when I get home, good for the brains I think.
I wrote a poem
CatfishRivers
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2004
- Messages
- 2,180
I think you forget that a double negative makes a positive! If you are depressed at the fact that you are depressed, then don't worry, you are functioning perfectly normal under the circumstances. You are basically informing yourself that you are aware of your current negative experience, the actual neurochemical imbalance and resultant systemic manifestations, using your reasoning mind, represented by the narrative voice you hear in your head while thinking. The reasoning mind is condensing your experience of that incredibly complex chemical system into language so that you don't drift off into infinity every time you receive some sort of nerve impulse.
One of the tricks to being in a more positive mind set and to dispell a cycle of self fulfilling depression is to interrupt the process of communicating redundant feedback from the narrating mind about the neurochemical imbalance which you already are aware of. Just like a cavity in your tooth, sticking your tongue into it a million times is not going to fill it up, it's only going to agitate and inflame the nerve, so once you are aware of the need for repair, you can turn the volume down on the narrator who keeps reminding you that you are feeling depressed.
I suggest you focus instead on good breathing habits: breath in through the nose allowing your stomach to push outwards with your diaphragm and then exhaling thru the mouth, letting your stomach fall back in. Feel the force of the exhaled air warm and massage your sternum area . Additionally, humming in low, rumbling tones will help your body break up and loosen physical tension clusters ingrained in your body. Just as if you sat on your foot for an hour and then felt a pins and needles sensation after you moved the weight off your foot, your brain has been sat upon by the narrative mind and left a big old imprint of its ass on your brain and will take some time for the energy of the self fulfilling cycle of depression to dissipate, dissolve and return to it's natural, relaxed state. The more often you practice clearing the mind of the needless narration, the simpler and more effective it gets. Just like learning a dance move. It takes a lot of concentration on the begining but eventually the effort becomes second nature. You don't need to focus on it all the time, but the more stretches you do, the looser the ingrained emotional tension will get and hopefully easier to let go of.
However, if words are still popping into your mind you probably need to also hold an image or symbol in your mind that already has quiet and still connotations to you. What helps me is to visualize this lake in the woods that I walk with my dog all the time. It sounds a bit corny, but if you are trying quiet your mind, it is a lot easier to keep one symbol still rather than several to many of them. It is an exercise just like stretching: you need to use repetition and breaks to reset the "muscle memory" for the narrative aspect of your mind and anchor it in a better place. By focusing on the breathing, and letting yourself feel the air you are pushing out of your lungs against your solar plexus, you mindfully reroute your loci of awareness to a different spot, to where you would experience a feeling of love, or a nice mdma chest glow. This will automatically pull some of the awareness off of the body feeling depressed and let the mind unclench. By allowing for the the cycle of narrating the body's experience of the chemical imbalance to break, you are basically allowing all of the body's built in bodily responses to not have to react to its echo by licking it like a wound.
It is real easy to shoot the messenger when it brings tidings of depression and malaise, and it feels instinctive to think how depressing it is that to feel depressed but it's just a case of focusing in on the carrier wave rather than the message. what I think you're really saying here is that you are positively fed up with depression and are ready to turn off the thought loops that support it. Try out some of the things I mentioned, you might find them useful techniques like I have.
One of the tricks to being in a more positive mind set and to dispell a cycle of self fulfilling depression is to interrupt the process of communicating redundant feedback from the narrating mind about the neurochemical imbalance which you already are aware of. Just like a cavity in your tooth, sticking your tongue into it a million times is not going to fill it up, it's only going to agitate and inflame the nerve, so once you are aware of the need for repair, you can turn the volume down on the narrator who keeps reminding you that you are feeling depressed.
I suggest you focus instead on good breathing habits: breath in through the nose allowing your stomach to push outwards with your diaphragm and then exhaling thru the mouth, letting your stomach fall back in. Feel the force of the exhaled air warm and massage your sternum area . Additionally, humming in low, rumbling tones will help your body break up and loosen physical tension clusters ingrained in your body. Just as if you sat on your foot for an hour and then felt a pins and needles sensation after you moved the weight off your foot, your brain has been sat upon by the narrative mind and left a big old imprint of its ass on your brain and will take some time for the energy of the self fulfilling cycle of depression to dissipate, dissolve and return to it's natural, relaxed state. The more often you practice clearing the mind of the needless narration, the simpler and more effective it gets. Just like learning a dance move. It takes a lot of concentration on the begining but eventually the effort becomes second nature. You don't need to focus on it all the time, but the more stretches you do, the looser the ingrained emotional tension will get and hopefully easier to let go of.
However, if words are still popping into your mind you probably need to also hold an image or symbol in your mind that already has quiet and still connotations to you. What helps me is to visualize this lake in the woods that I walk with my dog all the time. It sounds a bit corny, but if you are trying quiet your mind, it is a lot easier to keep one symbol still rather than several to many of them. It is an exercise just like stretching: you need to use repetition and breaks to reset the "muscle memory" for the narrative aspect of your mind and anchor it in a better place. By focusing on the breathing, and letting yourself feel the air you are pushing out of your lungs against your solar plexus, you mindfully reroute your loci of awareness to a different spot, to where you would experience a feeling of love, or a nice mdma chest glow. This will automatically pull some of the awareness off of the body feeling depressed and let the mind unclench. By allowing for the the cycle of narrating the body's experience of the chemical imbalance to break, you are basically allowing all of the body's built in bodily responses to not have to react to its echo by licking it like a wound.
It is real easy to shoot the messenger when it brings tidings of depression and malaise, and it feels instinctive to think how depressing it is that to feel depressed but it's just a case of focusing in on the carrier wave rather than the message. what I think you're really saying here is that you are positively fed up with depression and are ready to turn off the thought loops that support it. Try out some of the things I mentioned, you might find them useful techniques like I have.
alantis360
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2003
- Messages
- 1,509
this happened to me a lot, I dont even smoke anymore because of this. For some reason i would feel really guilty for doing and keep asking myself why am i smoking this it does absolutely nothing for me. I still smoke cigs every now and then but i can smoke a whole pack and not even crave one a single bit when they are gone. I have found that cig addiction is purely in the head.
nearjat
Bluelighter
Thanks man
I love writing..it's good stuffs.Wow man thanks
When I get depressed, I get feelings of creeping insanity alongside. So it's nice to see some advice laid out in plain english.
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
hashish :D
there may, or may not be more of that
YUM! I had hash for the first time in years last night; it was Sooo nice; so much better than weed, much more relaxed, without paranoia. I could easily smoke hash on a regular basis, which I can't with weed; too anxiogenic.
I'm actually going to make hash oil from a ton of moldy weed I have. This way I can actually enjoy cannabis more often.
Damn man; 10g of kratom? A little more than a 10th of that works on me. First time I did kratom I read erowid which listed 6g as a low dose; well I puked my guts out and felt awful. Solid overdose.
As to parachutes; you should be able to get 2g easily into one parachute. Not rolling paper; toilet paper squares.
CatfishRivers
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2004
- Messages
- 2,180
Hah I feel like the cartoon image of the North Wind after seeing how l
much screen space my last post took up. I am the windbag beneeeeeath yoooouuur wiiiiiings.
much screen space my last post took up. I am the windbag beneeeeeath yoooouuur wiiiiiings.
I used toilet paper, but damn dude that would be one MASSIVE parachute, I don't think I could swallow that.
And yeah I seem to have a naturally high tolerance to opiates; the first time me and my friends did oxy we all did around 20mg and they all puked while I was completely free of any nausea.
Also catfish great post, I found alot of that really interesting.
And yeah I seem to have a naturally high tolerance to opiates; the first time me and my friends did oxy we all did around 20mg and they all puked while I was completely free of any nausea.
Also catfish great post, I found alot of that really interesting.
PepperSocks
Bluelight Crew
Takes a bit of practise but you'll get it. I would be lost without the ability to parachute drugs. Kava, kratom, piracetam, phenibut, etc. all go down that way.
Kava is such a non-dense material that a 2g parachute is a bit large but a 1.5 g parachute of kratom is easy-peasy.
Once you're able to do it you'll be glad; such an easy way of consuming large volumes of powder.
Delta-9-THC
Bluelighter
Toilet paper is not so good for your digestive system I believe. I would suggest doing what is sometimes referred to as the "toss and wash". Fill your mouth with some kind of liquid (preferably flavored, like gatorade, but water will work just don't use anything carbonated) and tilt your head back. Take a teaspoon of kratom and dump it on top of the puddle in your mouth and then chase it all down with another big gulp. If done correctly you will not taste the kratom at all.
I have been addicted to kratom (just quit recently hopefully for good) on and off for the past 3 years and this is how I always did it. It works very well when done correctly.
LSDMDMA&
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2010
- Messages
- 12,829
yeah that hash is nice, but id rather have some of these rocks again
thats the biggest rock i had from the .5g i had of the diggity dank rocks.
all in one night..wut a night.
srsly, i was ridiculously RIDICULOUSLY sweaty that night.
in retrospect, probably not too far from passing out/fainting, i have never sweat that much in my life.
that rock was probably about the size of my pinky nail, whole bag was chunks like that..i tried breaking it up into powder for easier eyeballing..and i couldnt.
moar pure MDMA chunks plz
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