☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Bleep Bloop Zap Zang

[Xorkoth]

Hey PD! I've got a lot of posts to catch up on.

I had an awesome day. I spontaneously decided to have some sort of trip today. I thought it might be nice to take 4mg of DOM along with 3mg of 2C-P rectally. This was very early, at like 8:30AM. For the first couple of hours it was a little intense coming up... I felt extra sensitive and kind of jumpy. Both DOM and 2C-P have a lot of energy to deal with. But then at around T+3 iI started to get really, really mentally stimulated. My wife caught my flow (she wasn't tripping) and we started talking about stuff, stuff about our families, which somehow led into this epic conversation, which we both contributed to understanding, which really helped to complete some things in my mind. I've been thinking about this kind of stuff so much lately and it relates heavily to my book I'm writing.

Anyway, I want to post about it here in detail but it would take forever and I'd never get to the end because I would go off on so many tangents. But I think I am going to post my notes that I took at the end. I started in a shorthand style and then started writing whole sentences... I would flesh this out a LOT but I wanted to get the main path down as quickly as possible. Hopefully someone appreciates this because for some reason I feel kind of shy about doing it. Even though I share writing on here all the time.

 

[Xorkoth]

I have always been a sensitive person

Evolutionary progress – becoming more sensitive. Perhaps to deal with the increase of society not recognizing the effect it has on others, a sick society which has become more and more detached, wasting away. Perhaps mirror neurons growing stronger… whatever the cause. As a child, I was always extremely uncomfortable socially. Pain of others being felt, negative emotions very uncomfortable. But I didn’t understand it at all. The society I was part of did not see those things as part of reality so how was I to understand what I was feeling, if they weren’t even a part of my world?

This leads to how when you always stay in the same place with the same people, it can be hard to separate what YOU want and what you are expected to do societally. Example: a family has always had its men be doctors for untold generations. So the boy becomes a doctor. Is it what he REALLY wanted? Maybe, maybe not. The point is that traditionally the this is the way things have worked around the world, with certain rare individuals breaking out and differences slowly being produced in populations, creating new populations, but the vast majority of people have no concept beyond dreams that they could be whatever they wanted to be. This is how, throughout human history since the beginning, people have settled into areas and formed societies which progress to cultures which progress to boundaries which progress to religions which all become ways of separating US from THEM. This is what leads to war and hatred and everything like that. But now there are SO many people that this system cannot work for us any longer which is why our society is so sick and why the world seems to be crumbling (along with technology to create more destructive capacity). We NEED to push past this. So evolution is causing us to become more sensitive.

But for those of us who ARE this new push in evolution, it is very difficult and often leads to deep pain and confusion because our society as a whole is still not operating in this way at all, especially in cities. Such was the case for me. So when I reluctantly moved to NC, I very shortly realized that it was EXACTLY what I needed. I was able to separate the feelings of family and friends (which were only ever meant with good intentions and love of course) from my very own feelings and I began an intense period that continues today and will forever of emerging from my cultural/familial “role” into MYSELF, who I really am. I realized why I had felt so uncomfortable my whole life – it’s because I was feeling the vibes of a chaotic and sick society and from a school full of peers and from family and friends and everything, but I didn’t at all understand it or see it that way. But then I began to become myself and my own mind is a mind that wants to spiderweb out and discover the whys and the causes of everything. It’s ironic because I’ve become particularly focused on social interactions and societal influences on individuals, when before that was what confused me the most. Through this understanding I have come to be able to shield myself and be comfortable with who I am independent of anyone else. As a result, I am now a very social person and I love talking and meeting new people and I feel that I project my true self to people and that it in turn helps them to present their true selves to me.

This all leads to the big picture, to wrap it up: more and more and more people are breaking the ties that bind and moving away and discovering who they really are, and believing that they can do anything they can dream of. It would seem that this would just create and more and more differences in people, since everyone is doing something completely individual. But in fact, just as John Lennon sang in Imagine, this is exactly what we need in order to break down all the barriers, all the things that separate us into US and THEM, and realize that we are all just people. We’re all the same, but wonderfully unique, different expressions of the same thing. This is what can push us forward into a brighter future. Right at the point where we become the MOST different we become the same.

 

[Xorkoth]

And then after this happened, I got a text from my one of my best friends and we texted a bit and he called. And it was so weird, because he has been thinking about the exact same kind of stuff for a while now. He recently moved out of his parents' house after 27 years and moved to Florida, and he's kind of going through some of this stuff that I was going through after moving to NC from IL. And then when I told him about how I realized I need to be a writer, he was like dude, no way. How long ago? It's been about 2 1/2 months, I told him. And almost 2 1/2 months to the day was when HE had the same realization that he needs to be a writer. And when my wife and I were talking for hours, he was bored at work thinking about the same stuff! It was pretty intense, but not that unusual... he's the kind of friend where we'll go a good while without talking and then he'll call me literally right before I press send to call him.

Anyway, that was part of my day too. We talked for like 2 hours about all sotrs of good stuff, and he said he might move to the town I live in a while after his brother is done with school in FL. Which would be awesome.

 

[Xorkoth]

QUADRATIC FORMULA QUADRATIC FORMULA
X=-b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4xc divided by two times a, yay yay yay

Actually, it's -b +- the square root of b squared - 4ac ALL over 2a.

 

[Xorkoth]

Damn you idle people! My communication circuits are firing endlessly! But none of you are being fast!

Earlier today after I had talked to my friend on the phone, it was basically the end of a 6-hour intense thinking and talking stretch and I felt totally wiped out and sore. But now I feel energetic again.

 

[TheAppleCore]

TAC, what sort of music are you creating currently? I'm swinging back and forth between darker psytrance and kinda happy droning ambient stuff.....I prefer to create trance, but the ambient stuff sounds more like where my mind is right now.

Right now I've been focusing on mastering arrangement and harmony doing jazz piano interpretations of pieces. Also trying to teach myself to play the blues harp, 'cause I think it's a fuckin' awesome instrument, and I'm gonna be the first to bring it to heavy dubstep! :D

The latest electronic project I started was a very slow, rolling dark electro jazz weirdish thing.

But seriously feel free to send me anything you're working on. I consider myself a top willow11 fan.


Xorkoth -- your thoughts I will now read. Comments will follow soon!

 

[Xorkoth]

[DXM] Haha yeah dude its about 60mg but for some reason I'm very obviously dissociated by it. I don't have an enzyme deficiency.

Yeah man, cough syrup fucks me up. Last time I took any was like 8 years ago (jesus, that's crazy). I took 20mg, less than a recommended cough suprpession dose, because I had a bad cold and needed to sleep. I woke up feeling completely dissociatde and empty, a horrible feeling. I walked like a zombie through my day and just felt toally braindead... I had a linear algebra class (second year of college) and I got a 0 on my weekly quiz... I just sat and stared at the paper for 50 minutes because I couldn't think, and I handed it in blank. I had been getting As every week.

Overall it was shitty as hell and I've never had cough syrup since. For some reason pure DXM isn't so bad but it's still not my thing.

 

[PepperSocks]

Hi Xork

Benzos are such poison-- they pretty much fried my nervous system permanently. They definitely aren't fun drugs, but when your life is stressful and ridiculous, it feels "fun" to get a short respite from the anxiety for once. At least that was the appeal to me.

Dude, totally.

I've come to the realization I have the exact same problem with stimulants. It feels fun to get a short respite from depression and fatigue and get actively into something. I did some physics problems today on a low dose, fun as hell. I see everything so clearly and figuring something out feels so good.

But then stronger anxiety kicks in and it sucks.

I had some mephedrone tonight and went to a bonfire. With getting spun last night my brain is a bit depleted.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah, stimulants are rough for sure. I really have a hard time with them... I tend to lose control a bit with some, like methylone and d-amp, or coke. And any of them at all just really deplete you. I pretty much only use psychedelic anymore now that I quit opiates, psychedelics and caffeine and marijuana/cannabinoids. And phenibut occasionally too. Every time I obtain some sort of stimulant I end up feeling really low for a few days afterwards, really depleted. Psychedelics these days seem to have almost no effect on my body at all (well, I only use a good handful that are really good psychedelics), and I can always get a good night's sleep provided I don't do something retarded like eat a substance that lasts all day in the night or something. So I really only get depleted from them if I take them more than a few days in a row (which I really rarely would do anyway). They can get a little compulsive for me sometimes, and definitely have in the past, but not in the same way at all as stimulants. And the feelings I feel on them don't fall away into a crash, but just sort of slowly fade into the background over a day or two.

It did take a lot of experimenting when I was younger and a lot of really super intense world-shattering trips before I started to become really comfortable with the psychedelic state though. I definitely didn't feel this way before that.

 

[PepperSocks]

I have always been a sensitive person

Evolutionary progress – becoming more sensitive. Perhaps to deal with the increase of society not recognizing the effect it has on others, a sick society which has become more and more detached, wasting away. Perhaps mirror neurons growing stronger… whatever the cause. As a child, I was always extremely uncomfortable socially. Pain of others being felt, negative emotions very uncomfortable. But I didn’t understand it at all. The society I was part of did not see those things as part of reality so how was I to understand what I was feeling, if they weren’t even a part of my world?

Someone else understands

This leads to how when you always stay in the same place with the same people, it can be hard to separate what YOU want and what you are expected to do societally.

While I agree with this; it's why a vacation feels so damn good. I also have to say that it's the ripping up of roots and leaving that's part of why I think society doesn't connect as good as it used to. Hardly anyone stays in the same place anymore; a lot of them lose themselves and their connection to a homeland.

I think traveling is fantastic but I also think it's good to not rip up good roots. It's always a comforting feeling when I'm here. Sure there are a lot of the same people around all the time they're the ones that knew me as a kid all the way up and the community we have here is so pure and connected. Everyone is at everyone else's back helping without question.

Going on stints where you on another continent for a few months would be amazing and I'm planning to do that next summer.

 

[TheAppleCore]

Really thought-provoking insights, Xorkoth. I DO appreciate them and there certainly is no reason to be shy about sharing them!

I have a question though -- are you talking about a cause-and-effect Darwinian brand of evolution, or more of a teleologically justified sort of cog-in-the-machine?

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah, there's no need at all to leave forever or anything. But just like a period where you go off somewhere and establish your own thing for a while. I mean, I've been in NC for 5 years now and I still feel my true self emerging more as time goes by. I love to see my family and have them come visit and my close friends who are now all over the place, and I wish we had teleporters so we could see each other every day now. But I just feels like it's been SO good for me. I'm such a more secure and confident person now that I got away and basically started being able to be free of those influences that were keeping me feeling like that same shy dorky kid I grew up as. And now I go back and everyone really likes the change.

 

[Flarestar89]

Damn, this is a SUPER long PD social thread.

Sharktopus is on the sci-fi channel. Oh man, cheesy sci-fi at it's finest...

Makes me want to find Giant Shark v. Killer Octopus... in one scene, the shark jumps up and chomps a plane in half.

 

[Xorkoth]

TAC: Hmm, I guess mainly Darwinian evolution, or the slow change in a species over generations of breeding that are the result of adapting to stimuli to increase efficiency at survival.

I also think that right now with the place we're in, with this rapid explosion of technology and the Internet especially and the ability to instantly communicate and have information quickly accessed, we're having to evolve our brains rapidly (as a species). Think about the children being born now, born into this world where you have to be able to process and keep straight so much information from so many places, a global world with awareness of many cultures and places and people and planets and space and atoms and subatomic structures... so much information and stuff to understand. I mean already my brain is much more adapted to it than my parents' and I was born in 1983... we didn't get the Internet until I was in 7th grade.

 

[TheAppleCore]

^ The mystery of the future of human evolution has always really fascinated me. I can't wait till the internet generation inherits the world. %)

Sharktopus is on the sci-fi channel. Oh man, cheesy sci-fi at it's finest...

:D

Hello Flarestar.

He Whom Emnates LIGHT

Very much appreciated -- I have a great respect for anyone who can make an art of words, because I couldn't to save my own life!

 

[PepperSocks]

Yeah, stimulants are rough for sure. I really have a hard time with them... I tend to lose control a bit with some, like methylone and d-amp, or coke. And any of them at all just really deplete you.

Yep, just cashing in on storage, a few expeirence later (even in medical 5-10mg doses) it catched up with me and i need to give my mind/body a break.

I pretty much only use psychedelic anymore now that I quit opiates, psychedelics and caffeine and marijuana/cannabinoids. And phenibut occasionally too. Every time I obtain some sort of stimulant I end up feeling really low for a few days afterwards, really depleted. Psychedelics these days seem to have almost no effect on my body at all (well, I only use a good handful that are really good psychedelics), and I can always get a good night's sleep provided I don't do something retarded like eat a substance that lasts all day in the night or something. So I really only get depleted from them if I take them more than a few days in a row (which I really rarely would do anyway). They can get a little compulsive for me sometimes, and definitely have in the past, but not in the same way at all as stimulants. And the feelings I feel on them don't fall away into a crash, but just sort of slowly fade into the background over a day or two.

It did take a lot of experimenting when I was younger and a lot of really super intense world-shattering trips before I started to become really comfortable with the psychedelic state though. I definitely didn't feel this way before that.

Ya, I have to admit I'm really not too intersted in tripping these days. Stimulants play a factor in that as well. Psychedelics not always had stimulation and euphoria; whereas a stimulant is a sure thing that a good set/setting isn't needed for. Stimulants still have that energetic mood lift but you retain your mental functions and are able to interact with the world and have fun doing things socially, get work done. Stimulants just don't produce states of ecstasy

Ya, that main peak everything's just perfect, blazing good mood, strong processing power, It's the ultimate drug for being a student.

Long/short it's my DOC, but it's also going to make me more sketched that I am and that's not needed.

The only think is if you get an anxiety problem and you have to quit the amp, school doesn't go as well.

I tried to replace amp with piracetam one day. I 'm pretty sure piracetam is a placebo (when used on it's own) beside for the wonderful psychedelic interactions.

 

[Flarestar89]

^ The mystery of the future of human evolution has always really fascinated me. I can't wait till the internet generation inherits the world. %)




:D

Hello Flarestar.

Hi! =)

In terms of literal biological human evolution, I'm pretty sure there's speculative literature about it, at the least, about more recent developments in human evolution.

We only split off from Neandertals about 750,000 years ago. Interesting fact. Most of the other Homo species were remarkably like ourselves.

Evolution is, in essence, my profession. It's interesting stuff. In terms of analyzing behavior, interesting as well. Though of course, many other external factors are relevant, to some extent, in terms of human behavior, those can be tie to evolution as well.

I like the idea that things are constantly changing and moving forward, at the least, on a biological level. Species react to each other, and populations change over time...

Trippy. And much more fun than reading the things I need to.

 

[PepperSocks]

It's interesting stuff. In terms of analyzing behavior, interesting as well.

Seeing 2 insects fighting or copulating hundreds of million years in a piece amber is amazing

"History of life" is one of my favorite courses.

 

[Flarestar89]

The most hilarious/weird science thing I read recently was that in order to examine the reproductive structures of a particular clade of spiders, they threw liquid nitrogen on them when copulating.

... ouch. A good way to go? They'd melt, eventually, wouldn't they? but uh, be dead...

I hope I'm never one of those people that makes a study that people look at and go, "HOW THE HELL DID THEY EVEN THINK OF THAT?!"

 

[PepperSocks]

I like the idea that things are constantly changing and moving forward, at the least, on a biological level. Species react to each other, and populations change over time...

I've come to another realization on anthropogenic pollution; depedning on how you want to view it, this may just be the way it goes. There's also the fact that there have been parts og geologic time that the earth's atmosphere was filled with CO2 and noxious gasses from strong volcanic activity.

How much does it matter how little comes from us when you look at what volcanoes have been doing for eons? Is our pollution just another natural phase in the state of the earth?