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Parents who use at home...how?

Goatsmuggler

Goatsmuggler

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 27, 2022
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I'm a single dad and have been a daily meth smoker for about 8 years.

My daughter just turned 15 and she's made a few comments regarding my abnormal behaviour (nights awake, bursts of energy and enthusiasm becoming overly chatty).

Got me wondering, how do you guys handle things with your kids? is it completely hidden? done openly? have you been caught?

Keen to hear how other parents do this
🥸
 
Snafu in the Void said:
I can't speak as a parent, but as a child of a dad who used.

"Out of sight, out of mind."

But this also leads to a lack of relationship, so needs to be balanced.
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And that's where I'm at now. She's knows somethings going on. We've got an open, no judgement kind of relationship and not talking to her about it could ruin that.

On the other hand, I'm terrified she might take it up herself. We've had the drugs talk (they're not evil but misuse can happen easily...)

I can tell her all the horror stories but I'm a bad example. I've been extremely lucky and have been able to keep things balanced.
Just don't want to fuck this up. Any advise?
 
I grew up with an addict. I've given it a ton of thought. I have kids.

Make sure there is a sober person who can watch the kids.

Go away for the duration of your high. Kids pick up on that stuff.

Every memory I have of one of my parental figures is tainted because I know that they were altered nearly ALL THE TIME. Or, in withdrawal. It explained their ups and downs, mood swings, and on and on... Their behavior and cavalier nature definitely contributed to my early addiction.

I'm not subjecting my children to that.

Your kid is at an age where they are going to figure it out. It might be worth it to talk to them about substance use sooner rather than later. Why it's okay for you to do it and not her. Everyone has their own style of parenting, but really... Would you rather tell them or have them feel betrayed because you didn't tell them and resent you for it?

Edit: You asked for advice. Tell her before she figures it out.
 
Never underestimate the intelligence of a child. It kills me every time I see parents that act like their kids are some blind deaf and dumb little humans. From the moment they are born they are picking it all up and learning.

She’s likely already in the loop that you use. We all fuck up, even the best of us. She’s likely already stumbled upon some paraphernalia or something, the questions to me give the indication she’s testing the waters.

As someone that also grew up around addiction, I could see through all the bullshit. I knew all the hiding places. I wasn’t stupid to the ups and downs and why they occurred. I also would compare my parents to others and there were, umm.. clear differences lol.

-GC
 
Goatsmuggler said:
I'm a single dad and have been a daily meth smoker for about 8 years.

My daughter just turned 15 and she's made a few comments regarding my abnormal behaviour (nights awake, bursts of energy and enthusiasm becoming overly chatty).

Got me wondering, how do you guys handle things with your kids? is it completely hidden? done openly? have you been caught?

Keen to hear how other parents do this
🥸
Click to expand...
She knows mate 100%, probably for ages - she's just hinting around the edges to see if you confess

Kids know their parent's vibes intimately - she'll be aware that you're on something almost every time she encounters you high
 
I gave up pot (everything, actually) for nearly 20 years because I knew my daughter was figuring it out. (I was a big time pothead)
I could tell from some of her conversations with her friends and me that she was figuring it out. She was 5.

On the positive side, she's now 24 and says she doesn't remember anything about that.
 
I keep the nothing happens show, until my 18 yo son locked me in rehab and he decided for how long, i always thought everything was cool, meth delusions diminish some reality facts.

I witnessed parents smoking in front their kids and nieces, the boy never interested but the girl hooked since a child, for some families this is completely normal a way of living.
 
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Yah sounds like she knows. 15yo me would have 100% known. Its hard to state how difficult your posituon is. I think use it to help keep her away from meth, somehow. I don't know how exactly though.
 
how bad are you in your addiction ?

if you stop will your dopamine come back is the question.

if yes you can stop then level with her and quit with help and let her watch and never go back.

if you cant stop then level with her and seek help and make sure your use is kept to only supporting your dopamine loss.

drugs and kids sorry mate im old school its wrong.
 
I used to use it to work in a kitchen in small doses (like 20mg a day).

they loved me for it and as soon as I quit they did not want me there anymore as I was not as productive or positive.

expect this to happen as well if you quit but know that its the process of quiting and her seeing her dad be one of the strong ones that is important.

its all about freedom of choice and this drug hooks youth so hard its not funny.

most smokers (my self included) watched there parents smoke first.
 
Wow, thanks so much for the replies. I haven't talked about this with anyone until last night.

I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and have a chat. I feel so guilty for not doing it earlier. She's the most caring, understanding, no judgemental person I know.

Growing up, my parents, family and friends were as straight as they come. I was telling myself it was in her best interest not to know but that's bullshit. It was just in my best interests.

All I can do is be honest, apologies and see what happens.

Thanks again
 
Goatsmuggler said:
Wow, thanks so much for the replies. I haven't talked about this with anyone until last night.

I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and have a chat. I feel so guilty for not doing it earlier. She's the most caring, understanding, no judgemental person I know.

Growing up, my parents, family and friends were as straight as they come. I was telling myself it was in her best interest not to know but that's bullshit. It was just in my best interests.

All I can do is be honest, apologies and see what happens.

Thanks again
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Remember, your top goal is to not pass an addiction down as a legacy. There are lots of broken parents.
You should quit, but if you can't, just don't let her think that your use is "OK".
 
Goatsmuggler said:
Wow, thanks so much for the replies. I haven't talked about this with anyone until last night.

I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and have a chat. I feel so guilty for not doing it earlier. She's the most caring, understanding, no judgemental person I know.

Growing up, my parents, family and friends were as straight as they come. I was telling myself it was in her best interest not to know but that's bullshit. It was just in my best interests.

All I can do is be honest, apologies and see what happens.

Thanks again
Click to expand...
its not going to be easy but at least you will have made the first step.

I dont think its something that needs an apology maybe that you kept it from her but really she is still young and any earlier she would not have understood so it is understandable.

dont be to hard on your self otherwise it wont work just know that you may need some kind of external monitor.

we all lie to ourselves none stop when we are in an addiction.

and if you do go down the path of quiting you may need something from a doctor to help with the depression your about to go through as thats the last thing you want her to experience.

there is a reason you kept using you have to find the reason and fix it.

if it was for performance at work and life you may need to address this also with your doctor but if its past trauma a psych may help.

being a martial artist I will always lead people towards physical activities that involve other people like sport or martial arts.

the distraction is wonderful for the cravings and the chemicals physical activity releases in your head help you keep your energy levels up and will help you heal quicker.

well done brother for standing up like a man and taking note of this most do not.

I know I am proud of you.
 
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