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Parents who Party?

psychoblast

psychoblast

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Joined
Oct 11, 2000
Messages
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Location
So. Cal.
I partied pretty hard from 2000 to 2005, transitioned into a psychonaut trying lots of different R.C.'s. I have been in the rave scene, the club scene, the hippy jam band festival scene, the burning man scene, and more.

That pretty much ended when I became a father. I got a steady job, good income, and between working and parenting, didn't have much time for anything else except, you know, getting stoned at the end of the day.

Now a few years have passed, a second child came along, and my wife and I have a pretty good set up. We know the ropes, so to speak, and are no longer the nervous new parents. We are at a point where we could get a baby sitter or send the kids to the grandparents for a weekend, and my wife and I could go to a party and cut loose like we used to.

What we do not know, though, is anyone else at a similar stage of life -- parents who party, but party responsibly. As a step into the scene, we went (with the kids) to a park where there was a day party from noon to sunset. The kids had fun and danced. I expected we'd have the only kids, but we saw other parents with young kids. We didn't stay long or get to know any of them, but it is reassuring to know they are out there. It tells me there are others sort of in the same boat as me.

I think there are some special issues. I mean, for one, I feel more cautions. I am definitely unwilling to take as many chances both with the law and with my health. I wonder how other people in this situation feel about these and other issues, and how they approach partying while also working full time and being a good parent. I know a lot of people who might say those cannot go together, and I myself wonder sometimes.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

~psychoblast~
 
psychoblast said:
I partied pretty hard from 2000 to 2005, transitioned into a psychonaut trying lots of different R.C.'s. I have been in the rave scene, the club scene, the hippy jam band festival scene, the burning man scene, and more.

That pretty much ended when I became a father. I got a steady job, good income, and between working and parenting, didn't have much time for anything else except, you know, getting stoned at the end of the day.

Now a few years have passed, a second child came along, and my wife and I have a pretty good set up. We know the ropes, so to speak, and are no longer the nervous new parents. We are at a point where we could get a baby sitter or send the kids to the grandparents for a weekend, and my wife and I could go to a party and cut loose like we used to.

What we do not know, though, is anyone else at a similar stage of life -- parents who party, but party responsibly. As a step into the scene, we went (with the kids) to a park where there was a day party from noon to sunset. The kids had fun and danced. I expected we'd have the only kids, but we saw other parents with young kids. We didn't stay long or get to know any of them, but it is reassuring to know they are out there. It tells me there are others sort of in the same boat as me.

I think there are some special issues. I mean, for one, I feel more cautions. I am definitely unwilling to take as many chances both with the law and with my health. I wonder how other people in this situation feel about these and other issues, and how they approach partying while also working full time and being a good parent. I know a lot of people who might say those cannot go together, and I myself wonder sometimes.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

~psychoblast~
Click to expand...

More than you know, but yeah...it is harder to find new "friends" who like to let loose because everyone feels as though they must tread carefully and act like "adults" now that they have children of their own. And on one hand, it is time to grow up, but that certainly doesn't mean you can't party like it's 1999 if you are handling your business/family/etc like a pro. Get to know as many people as you can through your kids, and the couples that know how to have fun will eventually stand out after you get past the "tread carefully" stage.

Best of luck!

Oh yea, I love visiting my aunt and uncle and their friends in Lake Minnetonka(Minnesota). They are all in their 30's-50's, but their group of 15-20 friends REALLY know how to have a good time AND they are rich/succesful to boot. There are always good drugs floating around the "campsite" and I usually don't have to ask and whalaa...hey buddy, you want an OC80? A line of coke? A toke? Bottom line, you can find other people who know how to have a good time AND work hard/take care of their children during the day...
 
^ yeah, what needless Being said.

You can definitely party and still be responsible, you just have to make sure you have all your priorities straight, and that your responsibilities come first. And you will find plenty of parents out there who like to have a good time, you just have to find the right people.
 
imo i have allways found it kinda sad when you are sitting around someone house doing so drugs and here comes dad or mom wanting a line ora toke. maybe cause i have never seen my parents do any kinda drugs and prolly never will but a parent should do just that parenting not be the most excellent party animal
 
You should keep partying. Furthermore, you should consider this an important responsibility, at least until your kids are college age. Otherwise you'll never be able to talk to them about harm reduction without spewing obvious inaccuracies or, even worse, just sounding super lame!
 
I'm kind of seeing this as a "window of opportunity" to party, while the kids are still too young to risk them getting into my stash or anything like that.

By "party," I probably mean something pretty mild compared to what a lot of people think of. For me, a party can be just chilling at home on some psychedelics, or hitting a music festival. It no longer involves massives, clubs, or warehouse parties. It never involved, and will never involve, tweaking, H, or injecting anything. Not to be judgmental, its just not my thing. Back in the day, I probably did some stuff that risked my life for the sake of a high, but those days are gone and good riddance.

Anyway, by the time the kids are in their tweens, the kids may be able to ferret out any stash I keep and it may be hard to give them a good anti-drug message if I am still partying. At that point, I may go totally clean till the kids are in college, then go back to partying as usual. Who knows?

What I do once my kids are old enough to KNOW what I'm doing, is fortunately a question for a later time. I'd actually really like to see how kids turned out from different parenting techniques related to drugs. I've seen characters in movies who play hippie parents who do drugs with the kids, but I have no idea how kids from that kind of household really turn out, and I fear the tendency would be that they would go balls-to-the-wall into drugs that are too hard, too soon. My own parents were ultraconservative. However, I think it was good that I did not find my way to recreational drug use until I was out of high school, and I hope I can help my kids do the same (or at least limit their exposure to something reasonable for their age/maturity). The bottom line is that I do not necessarily want to be hypocritical, but I also do not want to open the door to my kids getting involved in too much, too soon. If being hypocritical helps my kids mature into happy and well-adjusted adults, it's a cross I'd be willing to bear.

But, you know, to get back to the point of this post, if I'm chillin', trippin', rollin', whatever, at a house party, at a festival, or whatever, I will still be a parent, and I could probably relate better with other parents at a similar stage of life, since we'd have common experiences, issues, concerns, and priorities.

~psychoblast~
 
26, parent, psych fan here

my thoughts on this are pretty much the same as yours. i have added pressure from my significant other though. she doesn't like me doing drugs which i understand.

of course we can't always know that we are going to be 100% safe from the law or side effects from drugs but really what can we be 100% safe from? i don't see taking LSD in my living room any more risky than driving to and from the ballpark after having a couple beers.

as long as youre not making a habit of it and putting a burden on your support network or your kids i don't see it as any different than any other night of recreation out with your wife.

good luck
 
Just stay away from dope and you should be fine. Every festival I've ever been to I've seen parents with children from literally 6 months to 8 years old to 16 years old with them.

I know of several kids whose parents smoked herb with them in high school. Some turned into burnouts who dropped out of school and work dead end jobs. Others went to college and have well paying professional careers. One of my good friends used to goto Dead shows with his parents when he was between the ages of 2-8, when Jerry died, and they still go to festivals to this day. In college one of my roomates' mom would blaze with us all the time, and had smoked with her two sons since the day they turned 16. She was an old school hippie lady and produced 2 kids who are doing quite well - much better than say the kids I know whose parents sent them to Catholic school their entire lives and in college they became beer sluts and cokehead frat boys.

Honestly I think up to high school you should be pretty adamant about not using drugs or alcohol, using "you have a developing brain and body, and any kind of drug use can damage your development" excuse. Once they're in high school, and especially once they have a car though they're gonna do what they're gonna do. If you lie to them about your own drug usage and they know it, they'll never listen to you, because as you said you'd be a hypocrite. Honesty works, and kids can see right through the lies of prohibition just as we can.

The last thing you want to do is shelter your kid so much in high school that they go to college and with all their new found freedom become out of control coke heads/dope junkies/alcoholics/etc. I've seen SO MANY people I went to high school with who were all "straight" or only drank who are now coked up losers making minimum wage.

I say take your kids to festivals and let them experience the "other side" of our society. Maybe not burning man or a warehouse rave (that's when you leave the kids with your parents ;) ), but jam band festivals and the like are great places for youngins to see that weekends aren't just for soccer, baseball and ballet.
 
My dad is an old hippie who often smokes weed and used to do a lot of other stuff. He says he's tried everything. I found his weed stash when I was 13 and was appalled! It actually kept me from having any interest in smoking weed. If my dad did it then how cool could it really be?!

When I was older he actually opened up to me about it and gave me some pretty healthy views on the whole thing. I've since changed my mind about weed and have even smoked with him. I asked him once how often he was high around me when I was little, he just laughed. I didn't know the difference! He was just my same loving, forgetful dad!

Either way, his use didn't effect me negatively. Drugs aren't a major part of my life and I feel my view of them is healthy (I use a couple of drugs responsibly.) I completely agree with everything Kakti said too!
 
psychoblast said:
What we do not know, though, is anyone else at a similar stage of life -- parents who party, but party responsibly.
Click to expand...

I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. I don't have any kids, but I'm training for a very serious career, and also find I can't do anything but marijuana with any regularity these days.

But honestly, I think most drugs are best enjoyed a few times a year, max. They stay more special that way, and integrate well into a normal adult life, as just 'getaway days'. I don't ever see myself quitting psychedelics or dissociatives for good. But nor do I see myself doing them more than once every 1~2 months.

I'm always on the lookout for other adults who happen to like to put things in their brains every now and then, discretely and responsibly, like a group that got together at people's houses ever now and then. They're definitely out there. The hard part is finding them.
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. I don't have any kids, but I'm training for a very serious career, and also find I can't do anything but marijuana with any regularity these days.

But honestly, I think most drugs are best enjoyed a few times a year, max. They stay more special that way, and integrate well into a normal adult life, as just 'getaway days'. I don't ever see myself quitting psychedelics or dissociatives for good. But nor do I see myself doing them more than once every 1~2 months.

I'm always on the lookout for other adults who happen to like to put things in their brains every now and then, discretely and responsibly, like a group that got together at people's houses ever now and then. They're definitely out there. The hard part is finding them.
Click to expand...

travel with "The Dead" or anh of the off-chute bands after The greatful dead broke up


you will find PLENTY..

some good some bad


I found som eof the most enlighteninging individuals
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I'm always on the lookout for other adults who happen to like to put things in their brains every now and then, discretely and responsibly, like a group that got together at people's houses ever now and then. They're definitely out there. The hard part is finding them.
Click to expand...

I would love to meet you someday. :)
 
Growing p my Mom used to smoke pot in front of me all the time. She used to drag me to parties when I was 9-12 & all her weird hippie friends would be stoned or doing shrooms, LSD & speed. I hated it. Mostly since there were never other kids there & I was BORED ot of my mind. Once I was 12 I stopped going & hated anything that had to do with drugs.
That of course changed once I became a young adult & started doing drugs myself. My Mom used to take my Xanax, pot & crank all the time. Not to get rid of it but to do it with HER friends. This used to ANNOY me to no end. Then I jst started using with her & it was better.
Now as a Mom myself, it's so hard to score anything since I'm with my kid or parents of kids all the time. I have come across a few other parents that smoke weed & we will party while the kids play. But for me it's not as good as life before child. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter bt gee as a single Mom I've basically SIGNED over my life.
I think that as long as parents are responsible & aren't putting their children at risk then why not have fun? After all, we're people too!!!
So go out there & have some fun especially if the kids are with a sitter!!!

LaCholita
 
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