I've been using Meth most weekends for about six months now. I usually booty bump 0.1 to 0.2 grams initially and then do small lines whenever needed throughout the night and morning. Sometimes till afternoon the day after, depending on how much I have.
Nobody knows about it.
Lately, when high, I find myself in this thought loop where I become afraid of getting an unexpected visit from a friend or family and that my Meth use will be exposed. This leads to every small ambient sound sounding like a car driving up my driveway. This in turn leads to me sitting at the window, watching and listening for incoming cars. Sometimes for an hour before I force myself to do something else.
I forcebly tell myself that unexpected visits happen extremely rarely and if someone were to visit they would definitely call first. This helps somewhat.
But there is always this lingering, nagging thought that someone might come and visit because of some emergency or something and then finding out about my habit.
This only happens in the evening and morning. Obviously not at night because nobody visits at night.
So I'm wasting hours on a good high on this meaningless paranoid behaviour just staring out the window.
Anybody have this? Anybody have any good strategies to avoid those paranoid thought loops?
Nobody knows about it.
Lately, when high, I find myself in this thought loop where I become afraid of getting an unexpected visit from a friend or family and that my Meth use will be exposed. This leads to every small ambient sound sounding like a car driving up my driveway. This in turn leads to me sitting at the window, watching and listening for incoming cars. Sometimes for an hour before I force myself to do something else.
I forcebly tell myself that unexpected visits happen extremely rarely and if someone were to visit they would definitely call first. This helps somewhat.
But there is always this lingering, nagging thought that someone might come and visit because of some emergency or something and then finding out about my habit.
This only happens in the evening and morning. Obviously not at night because nobody visits at night.
So I'm wasting hours on a good high on this meaningless paranoid behaviour just staring out the window.
Anybody have this? Anybody have any good strategies to avoid those paranoid thought loops?