Stimulants Paranoid thought loop when high on Meth

[traskaren]

I've been using Meth most weekends for about six months now. I usually booty bump 0.1 to 0.2 grams initially and then do small lines whenever needed throughout the night and morning. Sometimes till afternoon the day after, depending on how much I have.

Nobody knows about it.

Lately, when high, I find myself in this thought loop where I become afraid of getting an unexpected visit from a friend or family and that my Meth use will be exposed. This leads to every small ambient sound sounding like a car driving up my driveway. This in turn leads to me sitting at the window, watching and listening for incoming cars. Sometimes for an hour before I force myself to do something else.

I forcebly tell myself that unexpected visits happen extremely rarely and if someone were to visit they would definitely call first. This helps somewhat.

But there is always this lingering, nagging thought that someone might come and visit because of some emergency or something and then finding out about my habit.

This only happens in the evening and morning. Obviously not at night because nobody visits at night.

So I'm wasting hours on a good high on this meaningless paranoid behaviour just staring out the window.

Anybody have this? Anybody have any good strategies to avoid those paranoid thought loops?

 

[Shady's Fox]

That's called rumination. Rumination is the fear of something similar happening again, and having a fear of not being able to handle such force. You have to look through your bad memories and fix them. I think rumination it's unbearable, the closest we have to ''unrelated'' schizophrenia. Try and disconnect your thoughts, those thoughts aren't you. Maybe there's some irony, maybe allowing yourself to ruminate you will fix this. Try and meditate, music. As for your anxiety while high, you need to stop hiding. If the people around you don't accept you as whole, you need to cut them off. You don't need toxicity.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Things like this are why I could never get any work done while on meth. Although my brain was in high gear and ready to work, it kept getting locked onto single thoughts (fortunately not usually paranoid ones like the OP but still a form of rumination anyway).

The only way I can think of to avoid it is to use techniques from CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and mindfullness. That is, to be conscious that your rumination is a 'false' thought/idea and consciously turn your mind to think about something else.

I learned these techniques for OCD and they are very effective for changing unhelpful thought patterns. Try just focusing your mind on enjoyment of the physical sensations of being high and let those sensations push conscious and unhelpful thoughts to one side. Sounds a bit hippy but it works. ALternatively get into some activity really obsessively so all your mental bandwidth is taken up by that activity - masturbation and porn are very popular with methheads needing an obsessive focus but others do claim that more productive activities are possible!

 

[codydion]

meth did that kind of stuff to me as well. i was a paranoid mess for years. it eventually got to me so bad i would never stay inside of somewhere. i would constantly almost 24/7 for days be walking around the city all day and night hiding and running from things. the mind games get waaay to real after years of that stuff. i developed a big benzo and alcohol habit along with my meth use to try and combat that a little bit and it helped. but i don't advise that then things get even worse.

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm sorry to say but this is likely to progress if you keep using meth in the same manner as you are. At least right now you're aware it's a paranoid thought loop, and it's just a relatively rational worry (friends and family finding out - something that is actually a concern). My best friend gradually went off the rails on meth, and before long he was posting on Facebook about the people digging tunnels under his apartment to spy on him with keyloggers so they could steal $4 million from him (he had no money). He ended up homeless after he got evicted because he pulled up the floor boards and was digging under them. He eventually got off it, it's 2 years later now and he still has no idea what stuff really happened to him. He claims to have been forced to star in porn films for meth, he has all sorts of wild stories about his life of crime. He got shot in the arm and slashed across the face, to this day he claims it was his brother and his brother says dude, that's crazy. He realizes it's crazy but it was so firmly real to him at the time that he still can't deny those experiences. Also his brother was also on meth so who knows? It's a mess and he's lucky to still be alive and struggles every day.;

Get out while you still can is my advice. ❤

Anyway the only way to avoid it is to have less dopamine flooding your brain for less time. Are you redosing repeatedly? That will make it worse. Frequency of using also makes it worse, if you use it less days, it will be less likely to result in paranoia.

 

[Crystalrose105]

In my own personal experience with meth, and also seeing other people I know that use meth, once you've developed a "tick" it usually doesn't go away. Usually they just get worse. Some of them come from an experience, some come from no where. I had a horrible experience last year, which led me back to meth after not touching it for 8 years. Completely my own fault, obviously, no one elses. The pain that it all had brought gave me my tick, as I call them, of thinking my fiance is constantly doing something behind my back. It was really bad, I found myself in a psychosis that I was completely aware of, and had full knowledge of what was happening in reality in my head, like I was watching a movie. Unbelievably, I found that i had no control over what I was saying or doing, but I was still doing it no matter how many times i was telling myself to cut it out, he's not doing anything, he's being a good man and father, why are you acting this way? The course of a three month period gave me a mild PTSD, and the meth fueled all the worry and paranoia from it. I was certainly on a mission to stop anything that could happen that would've sent me into anymore pain and suffering. I'm not going to get into itty bitty details, but we are a week away from one year later, and we are losing a home, are bankrupt, was arrested, he died (thankfully he was brought back) he left on our second wedding day and so on and so forth. It had gotten so bad, myself and my lovely tick, that I admitted myself into a psych ward. To deal with my pain that I was neglecting to deal with and to heal from. No one should mask any pain they're experiencing with a mind altering substance.

My other tick is laughable. I'm always convinced that there is something wrong with one of my tires on my car. Haha. I had a nail get lodged in the same tire two weeks apart, and a month later found out that I needed an alignment done on both sides of my vehicle. The paranoia of my tire being flat or thinking it was going to fall right off went away, for a week or two. But goddamnit I'm still very convinced I have something wrong with either my wheelbarring, tire balance, tire rim or maybe even possibly a damaged tire rod or damaged axel. I'm laughing about it even now. But the first three things i was right about, and even though every 20 miles I pull over to check my tire pressure or my lugnuts, I'm still goddamn convinced there is something wrong! One of these days I'm going to pull over and my tire will be long gone, I am just sure of it.

But I do still use meth, obviously. Well, I dont know how obvious it is, hahaha. But, when I find myself wondering too much, or even just have a drifting thought, of my man doing something that'll lead to anything that it did last year when I know good and well that he is not, I take an extensive little break (hahaha). Let the meth work its way out of me and the chemicals that linger in my brain. It sucks having to do because I love me some motherfuckin meth, but I dont love being a fucking weirdo. Well, to am extent, anyway. So if i want to continue dancing with my devil, I have to take care of me first. And thats by backing off of it. My breaks don't have to last long because of it, if I so choose them to not be long. I say no to it, even when I don't have to say no. Also, not doing too much when I use it for the period of time that I do.

Also, maybe try having music on or something so white noise doesn't fuck with you. Granted, you have to be able to get into the jams or else you'll just be turning it down every so often to listen....like i do when I turn the music down in my car because i think the noise that was probably either the music or the 1,000,000th time FOR SURE my tire fell off.

 

[boofythe]

Try and keep your mind occupied by doing something you enjoy. Also try and learn to put yourself on check when you catch yourself looking out the window. And realize you can’t stop people from coming to your house so there’s always gonna be that possibility and there’s nothing you can do about it. So just relax enjoy your high and worry about the problem when it actually happens don’t dwell on it.

 

[tweakerguy]

Try and keep your mind occupied by doing something you enjoy. Also try and learn to put yourself on check when you catch yourself looking out the window. And realize you can’t stop people from coming to your house so there’s always gonna be that possibility and there’s nothing you can do about it. So just relax enjoy your high and worry about the problem when it actually happens don’t dwell on it.

You can stop whoever you want from coming to your house simply by telling them you do meth

 

[boofythe]

You can stop whoever you want from coming to your house simply by telling them you do meth

Facts

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Anybody have any good strategies to avoid those paranoid thought loops?

Ummmmm, lower dosage or put it down for a couple three days? That would be the first thought but then I have never been a heavy meth user. When I was a mediocre user decades ago we would just ride our scooters for days and be free.
Although I cannot offer much in the ways of mefanfedalines I can offer a warm and sincere welcome to BL.
Hopefully some or all the answers given are helpful. Can offer little more so will quietly and furtively exit stage left....

 

[MsDiz]

I have dealt with years of rumination, as I have elements of OCD and I have an eating disorder. It can be such a horrible thing to cope with because it’s literally churning around in your brain, I felt the craziest I have ever felt when I ruminated over things. (Coming from a woman who is convinced water has calories and counts them in daily totals. Haha)

Distraction is a big help when you catch yourself ruminating. Once you find yourself doing it, find something else to think about or do straight away. Tell yourself that this is unhealthy thinking pattern and change it. Go for a shower, do some journaling, sing a song, say a poem. Literally anything that distracts you from the thoughts.

Another thing is realising that this is a fear you have and maybe you’re not addressing it properly. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Ask yourself if someone did arrive what safeguards can you put in place that would mean they won’t get in when you don’t want them there. This could be not answering the door. Shouting you’re in the shower, saying you’re unwell. Whatever it is that will mean that if the worst happens you have a plan in place. Just having that plan will lift you’re fears a bit.

This is an interesting link that might help.

How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques

Rumination, overthinking and depressive states reinforce each other. Learn how to stop ruminating and escape negative thoughts and this element of OCD.

www.happiness.com

Here’s another that explains about how because you ruminate at a certain time, you’re creating a pattern and it’s about breaking out of that pattern.

Four Tips From Habit Research to Reduce Worry and Rumination

How to break the habit of unhelpful worry and rumination using recent insights

www.google.co.uk

 

[LH_Oswald]

like others have said these ticks just get worse. They never get better. Stop the meth and they go away, but a tick that has been absent from my life for 10 years will come spiraling right back after a day or 2 on meth. Its the meth, and the way it creates very specific thought channels and pathways, they open doors.

 

[jackie jones]

From my observations and quite limited experience, a common mistake is not having something to occupy one's mind - especially around the time when things get a bit loopy. You can convince yourself of the oddest things and run with them while on stimulants. Read a book, listen to music, masturbate, do anything except allow the drug to cause or fuel your paranoia. It simply is not necessary.

 

[MotoT450]

From my observations and quite limited experience, a common mistake is not having something to occupy one's mind - especially around the time when things get a bit loopy. You can convince yourself of the oddest things and run with them while on stimulants. Read a book, listen to music, masturbate, do anything except allow the drug to cause or fuel your paranoia. It simply is not necessary.

be careful with masturbating! Lmao, that can become a rabbit hole

 

[woyzeck]

i get rumination on a come down when I have a stressful or anxious situation going on in my life. It usually occurs when trying to sleep or induced by a bad dream/ thought process that I just cant shake. I'd suggest this is a sign you've been banging it on the head and you need a break.

This rumination theme is played out in Breaking Bad when Jessie starts digging in a hole in Carter's front yard after being told to go away. The rumination effect absorbs Carter to the point he joins in digging the hole; and distracts him from noticing Jessie searching his house for the Blue Meth shortly afterwards.