@juler I know it really sucks, but I'll be very, very straight with you here. You have the opportunity to get ahead of what is going on right now with your behavior around the Oxycodone. Many have come before you and have aid "XXmg just can't work" only to be really pissed off when they fuck up and have their entire script taken away without sympathy.
Regardless of the ethics or morality or anything like that, whether it's your fault, the prescriber's, the pharmacy's or what have you, the song remains here that you're still in a cycle of pain, overuse and subsequent withdrawal. Perhaps you need more and perhaps you don't, the unfortunate truth is that you're on what many in today's Opioid-prescribing climate would call a pretty sweet ride. This isn't intended to make you feel better or worse or anything, but it is a serious, existential warning to your life. You can either get things under control now, find strength and make your daily Oxycodone script work or you can find some serious strength down the road when the script gets pulled.
Your trajectory is not likely to right itself. This has nothing to do with your personally, it's just how these things go. One mistake can easily lead to another until you find yourself in trouble.
I don't truly think that remedies like Poppy Tea or Kratom are going to be what fixes this for you. They might be a momentary distraction or some hope, but not a true solution to anything. If using LESS Opioids was the answer in the first place, than why not skip the bullshit and use your own pills to titrate. Not only is the mechanism the same, but you have pre-measured and verified dosing units at your disposal.
We are here to help you, but this is going to get moved over to the Recovery Forums if the themes and subject matter keep moving in this direction. We try to help peole with specific, answerable problems and this is turning into something much more complex than that.
@juler you can hit me up anytime. I've withdrawan from dope, Methadone, Alcohol and IDK maybe Barbiturates to a certain extent once. It's all possible. People do it every day but they aren't usually inclined to get up on a soapbox afterward.