Our patchwork quilt

[up all night]

Too tired to see the truth in your eyes
I close my mind and imagine the world
The way it should be.
You and I and love and laughs,
No lines of crack to dull the edge,
Perfect clarity in your smile.
I steal my moments carefully
From a somewhat checkered past.
Creating our relationship like a patchwork quilt.
The moments and memories I like, I sew together
Leaving the rest to the bucket of scraps.
A creation of such beauty and wonder
I know everyone will stop to appreciate.
And I smile for the crowd,
'Yes I know I'm lucky to find such a man
If only you were as happy as us.'
And they clap and cheer and walk away thinking
'Some people get all the luck.'
But when my performance is over,
And no-one is watching
I pull out the bucket which I can't bear to forget
And fill it with unshed tears.
Trying to mend the jagged edges
And ease the angry colours
Into a more subtle shade of life.
You watch my feeble attempts
From a safe vantage point out of reach
And laugh at my clumsy efforts.
Watching as i prick myself with the same needle
Time and again.
And I laugh too.
But only so I can tell tomorrow's crowd
That last night we laughed the night away.
[ 30 January 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]
[ 30 January 2002: Message edited by: up all night ]

 

[E-girl]

ahh sweetie, i know what its like to put on that "happy face," so to speak, for the rest of the world, while inside you are just falling apart. i dont know what it is about humans that we feel the need to mask our true feelings. We are all just puppets on a stage, its sad.
But one note of advice: dont keep pricking yourself with that same needle. Find what makes YOU happy and run with it. Pain is something that has to be inflicted, it doesnt just come on its own. You can only truly be happy when you realize where the pain is coming from, and set that part free.

 

[Sweetpea]

Ok I'm curious to who you are btw
I'm liking your posts - You write well..very well!

 

[up all night]

E girl: Thanks so much I think we just get used to the pain and learn to deal with it rather then recognising that it isn't doing us any good. I went back and i think i've read pretty much all your past posts.....i love your mind.
Sweetpea: I'm someone who came to Bluelight looking for information and found something entirely different.
I've never been into writing poetry and only really became inspired after seeing people in this forum baring their souls...if only my old english teacher knew that i now did it in my spare time

 

[Tarsarlan]

Your words made me quite sad...
...But then I saw your sig and had to laugh...
Hehehe I could imagine what people here at work watching my facial expressions would think... ie "He's soooo not doing work!"
Nice one up all night!